Message to married people

[Barrsitter]

On this site, I see a lot of men complaining about how their wives are having affairs or refusing them sex. WTF wives! Why did you get married if you are going to be unfaithful or refuse your husband sex? Did you get married for the money? Or so you wouldn't be lonely? Or to have someone look after you as though you are a child? Did you think you can stop trying and just sit on your ass and contribute nothing? If so..grow the #$%^ up! Same message for offending husbands.

 

Marriage is for the mutual benefit of the spouses. That means each person needs to be a grown-up and make a full-on commitment to the other, for the betterment of the union. Otherwise, it's not a marriage, it's a living arrangement, so call it what it is.

 

If one person takes advantage, or steps out or refuses sex and refuses to change, then the other person should leave. Giving in or hoping things will get better when the OS does not change or re-commit to their spouse, just enables the offender to continue their childish behaviour.

 

Santana nailed it....

 

"give me your heart, make it real or forget about it" Right on!

 

Don't be a doormat to a spouse who is abusing, screwing around, mistreating, or refusing sex. If you don't like what is going on, give them an ultimatum...either spend your time and energy on me and our marriage, or leave. You don't need to scream and carry on. Just state your case and be prepared to move on if necessary. Make the OS know that there are consequences for their behaviour and then be prepared to make them live the consequences.

 

Marriage is a team sport and anything less than total commitment to the other is a waste of time. And for Heaven's sake, never use children as reason to stay in a sham marriage. Surely they deserve to see a real marriage...not a fake one. They need to see integrity, commitment, love and honesty.

 

Emotional honesty. The last frontier.

 

Barrsitter (a single woman aged 54 who tells it straight up)