Jump to content

How long were you with your SO before they said "I love you"

cracker2011

By cracker2011,
in Long-Distance Relationships

 Share Followers 0

Recommended Posts

  • Author
cracker2011

cracker2011

Posted
  • Author
Posted

thanks jamessp-

i sent him a song" etta james at last" which to me basically says i love you..but he didnt reply!

although i never replied to his "when harry me sally clip" ..plus ive been a biff off with him lately because im sick of the distance and i want him to come home so we can be a proper couple. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell

HeavenOrHell

Posted
Posted

Why didn't you reply to his 'when harry met sally' clip? :(

Did you reply when he sent you the I love you photo?

 

 

thanks jamessp-

i sent him a song" etta james at last" which to me basically says i love you..but he didnt reply!

although i never replied to his "when harry me sally clip" ..plus ive been a biff off with him lately because im sick of the distance and i want him to come home so we can be a proper couple. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
cracker2011

cracker2011

Posted
  • Author
Posted

i didnt reply to clip as i wasnt sure was he trying to say i love you..or was he just being nice/cute..

 

i replied " bitto" to the picture he sent me but i obviuosle meant "ditto"

but im sure he understood what i was saying :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
LittleTiger

LittleTiger

Posted
Posted

You seem to be overthinking this a little too much cracker2011. How you both feel and behave towards one another is surely more important than what you actually say?

 

If you feel you want to say 'I love you', then do so. If you'd rather he said it first, then wait. If you don't say it, he will - eventually. ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
cracker2011

cracker2011

Posted
  • Author
Posted

You are right little tiger I do over think everything he say....and does for that matter.

He would be of the same opinion as you as regards actions speak louder than works.

Yep..I will wait for him to say it.. Hopefully it will be soon god dammit:bunny:

 

Thanks for all the replies.xxx

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
cracker2011

cracker2011

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I broke up with my SO just now. I just can't handle the distance.I want more than. Phone/web relationship. Ironic the day we break up he tells me he loves me.

In tears as I write this. I love him with all my heart.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
cracker2011

cracker2011

Posted
  • Author
Posted

i dont know what to do..

I was talking to a male friend of mine(married) and i explained that i loved him but the distance was killing. he suggested i say to my SO that if he cant come home, can i move over- and basically said he didnt want to take the risk. surely if he really loved me he would take the risk???:(

he emailed me last nite to reconsider the breakup and has just txt me now saying he wished i had not persued him in may so he wud have not have falling for me so hard( i broke up with him in may for the same reason - but had to convince him for a 2nd chance) . i had ended it with him after each time we visited each other because i felt i cudnt handle the distance, i was afraid etc etc.

 

please give me some advice.i dont know what to do.x

Link to post
Share on other sites
carhill

carhill

Posted
Posted

IMO, distance should never be a barrier to a true and healthy connection. If there is mutual desire and health, no distance is insurmountable. People are who throw up barriers.

Link to post
Share on other sites
LittleTiger

LittleTiger

Posted
Posted

I'm so sorry you're going through this cracker. You seem very confused and upset by your relationship and I'm not at all surprised by that.

 

Your boyfriend is giving you mixed signals by wanting to keep you in the relationship but essentially not 'allowing' you to move to be near him. Most people in a LDR would jump at the chance to be with their SO, especially if they weren't being asked to move. :confused:

 

You boyfriend says it's too much of a risk, but it's not him who is taking the risk, so I don't understand his objection. Have you talked to him about this recently? If not, I would ask him to explain, very clearly, what he considers are the negative consequences of you moving - for both of you.

 

Nobody can tell you what to do because, although we may be treading similar paths, we're not in your shoes. All I will say is that for any LDR to go the distance, both people have to be 100% committed to making it work. If your boyfriend can't give you the reassurance of that commitment then you have done the right thing breaking up with him.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
cracker2011

cracker2011

Posted
  • Author
Posted

thanks littletiger.

 

He feels that if i come over it will put pressure on both of us.

we never really knew each other before we started as an LDR.he feels that if it doesnt work out that he will be to blame.

i agree with you that its me that is taking all the risks.

i just dont know anymore what to believe.my head hurts:confused:

Link to post
Share on other sites
LittleTiger

LittleTiger

Posted
Posted
i just dont know anymore what to believe.my head hurts:confused:

 

You believe what your heart and your head tell you to believe. You know yourself better than anyone else does and you know what you need and what will make you happy.

 

I would say it's your decision whether to take the risk of moving. If your bf's main reason for not being together is that it will be his fault if it doesn't work out, that seems incredibly negative and is essentially just 'throwing a spanner in the works'. Talk to him again about the possibility and if he still gives you a straight 'no' then it would seem you're better off out of the relationship.

 

If you decide you want to stay in the relationship and not move to be with him yet (assuming your bf comes up with a sensible reason why you shouldn't), can you perhaps find a way to deal with the distance better? I know we all find LDRs hard for a multitude of reasons, but do you know what it is specifically for you that makes you want to break it off repeatedly? Perhaps the thing that you find so difficult to deal with could be resolved or improved?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
cracker2011

cracker2011

Posted
  • Author
Posted

we had a terrible few days but we are back on track again. i told him i can only do LDR until christmas and then he needs to make a decision either he is coming home in april or if he is staying , that if he wants to keep me, he has to ask me over..other wise we call it a day!#

he agreed..so hopefully fingers crossed it works out.

He is coming home in 2 weeks to visit me :)

Thanks for all the replies.:)

Link to post
Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell

HeavenOrHell

Posted
Posted

That's great news! Really hope things work out for you :)

 

 

 

we had a terrible few days but we are back on track again. i told him i can only do LDR until christmas and then he needs to make a decision either he is coming home in april or if he is staying , that if he wants to keep me, he has to ask me over..other wise we call it a day!#

he agreed..so hopefully fingers crossed it works out.

He is coming home in 2 weeks to visit me :)

Thanks for all the replies.:)

Link to post
Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky

Feelin Frisky

Posted
Posted
especially if you started off as an LDR..and not a couple who were dating for a period of time before they went LDR!!

 

Not too long but it's on. And those words have been flying like rain and it feels so good. Tough stuff, not having. But wanting is a great thing. PS: Never thought I'd be posting in this section. :o:)

Link to post
Share on other sites
Forever Learning

Forever Learning

Posted
Posted (edited)
Not too long but it's on. And those words have been flying like rain and it feels so good. Tough stuff, not having. But wanting is a great thing. PS: Never thought I'd be posting in this section. :o:)

 

Wow, she is one lucky girl to have an exquisitely amazing creature such as you loving her, the LoveShack God of all things Frisky. I wish her luck in handling your boisterous and disorderly energy. She's got an insubordiante spunky handful in you. Go easy on her. Then again, I'll bet you're just the raucous hurricane of love and lust she was looking to be swept away in. It's a charmed life for the likes of frisky enigmas such as you. Saturate her.

Edited by Forever Learning
Link to post
Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky

Feelin Frisky

Posted
Posted
Wow, she is one lucky girl to have an exquisitely amazing creature such as you loving her, the LoveShack God of all things Frisky. I wish her luck in handling your boisterous and disorderly energy. She's got an insubordiante spunky handful in you. Go easy on her. Then again, I'll bet you're just the raucous hurricane of love and lust she was looking to be swept away in. It's a charmed life for the likes of frisky enigmas such as you. Saturate her.

 

God, I'm speechless. One might get the impression that you have a thing for Feelin' Frisky yourself. I'll be keeping an eye on you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Forever Learning

Forever Learning

Posted
Posted
God, I'm speechless. One might get the impression that you have a thing for Feelin' Frisky yourself. I'll be keeping an eye on you.

 

As well you should.

Link to post
Share on other sites
 Share
Followers 0
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...