Jen Posted September 11, 2000 Share Posted September 11, 2000 My sister and I were having a discussion the other day. We agreed on the fact that no relationship is 50/50 as far as feelings go. One person generally feels more, and therefore puts more into the relationship than the other, even if it's a TINY difference. So we had a question. Which is the better position to be in? The one who loves more, or the one who is loved more? I thought this was an interesting question. I would like to hear some of your ideas. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
billy the kid Posted September 11, 2000 Share Posted September 11, 2000 I believe it would be better to be the one who is loved more,for selfish reasons of course, mainly because I would be less likely to get hurt. My sister and I were having a discussion the other day. We agreed on the fact that no relationship is 50/50 as far as feelings go. One person generally feels more, and therefore puts more into the relationship than the other, even if it's a TINY difference. So we had a question. Which is the better position to be in? The one who loves more, or the one who is loved more? I thought this was an interesting question. I would like to hear some of your ideas. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
billy the kid Posted September 11, 2000 Share Posted September 11, 2000 also Jen I have never had the pleasure of being the one who was loved more, except once and then I was young and stupid and didn't know what I had so I blew it. My sister and I were having a discussion the other day. We agreed on the fact that no relationship is 50/50 as far as feelings go. One person generally feels more, and therefore puts more into the relationship than the other, even if it's a TINY difference. So we had a question. Which is the better position to be in? The one who loves more, or the one who is loved more? I thought this was an interesting question. I would like to hear some of your ideas. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Paulie Posted September 11, 2000 Share Posted September 11, 2000 I second Billy the Kid's response. Link to post Share on other sites
Rivka Posted September 11, 2000 Share Posted September 11, 2000 Unfortunately most relationships are based on game-playing and power. It always FEELS BETTER to be the one in power (in your case, the one being loved more), but ultimately no one position is actually better than the other. These type of dynamics can act like a see-saw. We have to learn to go beyond the game. I wish I had the answers to this, but I'm still learning myself. I can give you a clue though: If you add a THIRD part the dynamics stabilize. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 11, 2000 Share Posted September 11, 2000 The person who loves the lesser controls the relationship. People enter into relationships for different reasons. The person who loves least may enjoy the control. The person who loves more may enjoy the challenge. A relationship where both parties are getting their essential needs met is best. If you want to be in control and on top of things, it is better to be the person who loves less. As Billy said, the person who loves more is more vulnerable to being hurt but probably gets more meaning from the love given. Frankly, if I could have a few dates with Salma Hayek, I wouldn't care if she didn't give me the time of day...just to spend a few golden moments with her!!! And you never really know who loves less. A lot of people just don't let themselves become vulnerable because they are scarred to death. The often feel pain so much more because their feelings are buried so deeply and do not surface until there is a break up. There is no known meter to measure caring and love. Oh, would things be so much easier if there was!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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