Odd one

[Take_everything]

He added me out no where on myspace years ago, he says he spotted me at an all ages punk show. we talked on the computer late into the night several times as I recall. We didn't didnt really flirt but I thought he was cute. Another show comes up and I see him there with a girl. I wasn't really heartbroken or anything and as it turns out he has a really, really cute friend.

The next four years see me dating, moving in with and breaking up with his cute friend. He does the same with the girl. So now I've been broken up with his friend a few months when he messages me, distraught over his break up. Were both going through tough **** and we're both lonely so be start hanging out and texting. ALOT. We spend nights wandering around or just sitting in one of our backyards. We even have a few sleep overs but we don't sleep much, just talk till dawn. He says he doesnt want to be deceitful so he tells my ex we hang out. Things are tottaly chaste and we mostly talk about our failed relationships. After about two months, we kiss and he confesses to being very attracted to me. He appologizes profusely and says it can't happen again, that he still loves his ex and his loyal to my ex. It sucks cause his ex dumped him for another man and has been really cruel about it and my ex hardly talks to him anymore cause he's in a semi popular local band and had cooler friends. After the kiss he starts calling me darling. One night we go to the bar, He tells me he and his ex often had (kinky!) sex several times a day, that he's dying

without sex. I tell him my relationship was almost sexless. We sleep beside eachother, he has a massive boner the whole night. The next morning the same thing though, still loves his ex and won't betray mine yada yada. It's frustrating because everyone already thinks were sleeping together. Both our groups of friends see us together often and always buys me drinks and food and walks me home. Last night he says he needs to get out and meet girls ti to get over his ex and he's dying for sex. Ouch! This whole thing is just so weird to me! I want him so bad and I can't have him and I can't put him out of my mind cause he texts me like crazy!

[Take_everything]

Well, things have really escalated in the past few days. Making out for hours, grand declarations of both his romantic and sexual feelings for me (you should hear this stuff, he could write harlequin romance novels haha). Two nights ago we gave eachother head. I thought he would disappear after he got off but he seems as affectionate and interested as ever, texting me asking how my day went and sleep well ect ect. He admitted he wouldn't have been texting me like this these past few months if he didn't have romantic feelings for me, that he hasn't thought of me as just a friend for awhile. One thing he said after we fooled around was he still thinks it's wrong because of my ex but he needs me in his life and he can't control himself with me.

 

Is it wrong for me to keep fooling around with him when he feels it's wrong? I want to keep seeing him but its always a fight not to touch him and I'm losing it more frequently. The thought of cutting off contact seems to distress him as much as it does me. What should we do?

[Typhoon Lizzie]

He still thinks it's wrong? Those other people in his life have moved on, why can't he. I don't get it girlfriend. I would be worried that he is going to recoil after sex because he still 'thinks it was wrong' Maybe once he is over the ex I would give it a shot but trust your gut. No matter how hard that can be, it will serve you I promise.

[Take_everything]

Yeah I'm deffinately not going to hop into bed with him yet, although the oral sex was nice I don't want things to move too fast. His ex has tottaly moved on but mine hasn't. They might not hang out that often any more but my ex told him that he is still in love with me and is now extremely depressed. He says he never wants to be with anyone but me. He has really let our old appartment and himself go. You have to believe me I tried everything to make things work with this guy. He's tottaly incapable of showing me any affection or even being nice to me, even if he is apparently in love with me.

 

So I understand why my new interest feels terrible, even if he and my ex aren't that close anymore

[Take_everything]

Now he's spending less time with me and spending more and more with my ex. The two of them have so much resentment between them, everytime I talk to either of them they just talk trash about the other. He's started insisting the three of us hang, like old times. Why try and patch things up with someone when you are secretly dating the girl that broke their heart?

[Take_everything]

So he remains faithful to my ex boyfriend it seems, really relindling their friendship. Now he only wants to hang with the three of us together. So, so uncomfortable. I always end up fighting with ex, pretty unattractive. I know he feels like **** about it and I do too. He's been texting less but stressing the value of our friendship lots.

Today I moved to a big city about an hour from my old home and the both of them. He says he'll come in to visit me, I know he likes the city. What do I from here? How can I play this so we can be together someday?

[Take_everything]

Things are as crappy as ever, he hasn't come out to visit me although I asked him to once (I feel like I came off as desperate) we hardly text unless he's drunk and sad late at night and i'm never up late enough to respond in time and he just brushes me off the next day. I was home for the weekend once amd i hung out for an afternoon with another friend but he said he had plans that night but would call me later, he never did. I hear he went home with some other girl that looks just like his ex. Kill me.