Is there a reason Some dudes easily get Attractive girls(includingas friends)

[quietGuy13]

And some of us, like me, always meet and end up befriending average or below average

 

well i know i know, I just meet one girl at a time so what do i expect, right?

 

SO far in my life i've made(temporary by the way cause they disappear after a while) friends with like 15 girls (some of them being online and penpals) and they've all been average. (i'm early 30s by the way).

 

Well maybe it's a combination of not going out AND talking to the girls i like/not mingling/and NOT being attractive myself.. maybe that's the reason i never have female friends who are hot/attractive.

 

 

Also, seems the ones i'm attracted to are picky and Never are attracted to me.

[Sanman]

Um, those guys are better looking than you?

[quietGuy13]

Yeah for the most part all the guys i see with beautiful girls are better than me. At least in the fact that they are active and athletic OR good speakers.

[betterdeal]

Whether you say you can or you can't meet pretty girls, it's true. Just decide, are you a Mexican or a Mexican't?

[carhill]

As far as romance/attraction is concerned, the 'attractive' LS ladies can answer that one, but, as friends, it's pretty easy, and I've had and still have a number of attractive (meaning popular with the men) ladies as friends. The healthy ones enjoy a man who relates to them as a person and isn't always hitting on them or making sexual remarks. I've heard this directly from a number of them. They like men but the constant barrage of approaches gets tiring and they like someone they can be comfortable with as a friend. They've also been good friends.

 

Since you're quite young and focused mostly on romance, making female friends is likely low on your list of priorities but, if you desire it, you might be surprised at the benefits of having healthy female friends.

 

Notice I mentioned 'healthy' a few times. That's important. The simplest way of determining health is proactive equity, where the friendship you offer is proactively and sincerely returned, rather than them 'letting' you be their friend. As an example, my best female friend of many years would often stop by and spend time with my mother, as she lived nearby, and she would spontaneously buy me simple gifts or send a birthday card or similar, as well as showing sincere interest in my life and times. Little things, but proactive and equitable.

 

I've only had a couple universally attractive female friends over the decades (these are people who turn both men's and women's heads) and, overwhelmingly, the friendships had nothing to do with our respective attractiveness, rather synergy of interests and personality. Appearance was merely an identifier.

 

IMO, seeing women as people first and as attractive (sexually) further down the road will go a long ways towards reaching your goal of 'getting' one, whether as a lover or as a friend. Good luck.

[Conscience]

Oh boy! We got a typical case of low self esteem! Well let me tell you with this kind of attitude you will never be able to attract the type of women you really want!

 

Here goes; I haven't invented this but took it online from a site I enjoy " askmen.com"

 

Women 101

 

What your mothers forgot to teach you: "Intro to Women, Class 101". It is a known fact that men are mommy's little boys , and women are daddy's little princesses . The key word is princess . Women like to be cherished, respected, loved, and most of all, showered with attention. So that is what men should give women; attention.

 

The problem with most men is they think that in order to make sure their catch doesn't get away, they must constantly give women attention. Wrong! The reason that most women get bored in a relationship, or turned off by a new acquaintance, is that they get too much attention at once.

 

Have you ever heard of the phrase "I need some breathing space please!"? Well, this phrase exists for a reason, yet most men ignore it, and continue giving their women their undeniable attention.

 

Wait a minute! You might ask, "Luis, you just said that women like a lot of attention, and now you are telling me too much is bad??" Yes, because the whole secret is to know when to give too much attention and when not to.

 

I recommend a three-step method recommended by psychologist Dr. David Libstein. I've tried it and it works! The question now is, is it an ethical method? Well I always say, "What people don't know, won't hurt them."

 

There are three-steps to baiting the woman you want and if you play your cards right, you may end getting everything you want.

 

Stage One: Bait Her

For a woman to know that you are interested, she must be aware of it. If she is not, then absolutely nothing will happen. You therefore have to take a risk. This is where the chase begins.

 

Pick the woman that you are interested in, wherever you may be. May I suggest that you choose your lady early and concentrate only on her the whole time you are there. If you start looking around too much, you will give her the impression that you are looking for anyone to sleep with.

 

After you find her, begin by looking for body language signs, such as eye contact, a smile, hair touching, etc.

 

If you get these signs from her, you must move quickly. Most men just wait around eyeballing the lady the whole time. By the time they get the nerves to go talk to her, either someone else moved in, or she'll think you are some perverted stalker because you gawked too much.

 

Stage Two: Be Attentive

 

Okay, now you made your move. You initiated the conversation. Now how do you make sure you keep the conversation going, and ensure she remains interested? Spoil her with attention by asking her all types of questions regarding her life. No sex-related questions please . Instead, talk about her likes (music, food, drinks, restaurants), her education, movies, even the current awkward situation.

 

The important thing is to not mention anything (no matter how tempting) about yourself, unless of course she asks you to. If she does, (this usually means she's interested) please remember to be brief and move the topic back to focus to her.

 

Offer to buy her a drink only once the conversation has gone on well for an extended period of time (at least ten minutes). Once the conversation deepens, it is okay to mention that you'd like to keep in contact with her, and ask for a phone number. The first phone call should only be at least two days after the encounter. The conversation should revolve around how much fun you had with her, and how impressed you were with her personality.

 

In other words, compliment her like crazy. Make sure that the first phone call does not last more than twenty minutes. It is crucial that you end the first phone call first. If she ends the conversation, the ball is in her court. The conversation should end with you inviting her out for a coffee.

 

On the first date, don't initiate a conversation about sexual topics, unless of course she does. The first date is a time to explore and find out a little more about each other. Do everything for her, but you don't necessarily have to agree with everything that she has to say. When she disagrees with your stance, accept it, and don't offer excuses either. Excuses make you look weak.

 

Stage Three: The Earthquake

 

Now that the little princess is comfortable, it's time to make the ground shake under her feet. The fact that we want to be accepted, liked, and needed is human nature. Once this need is fulfilled, we turn our attention towards stabilizing it. Just think back to when a friend told you that Mary was interested in you.

 

You probably didn't think much of it at the time, but as soon as you found out that Mary liked someone else, you began wondering why she doesn't like you anymore, and you suddenly became interested in Mary . We always want what we can't have.

 

Well the same theory applies with women. It is time to take away all that attention from the little sweet princess . How? Simple, ask her to call you. When she does, speak to her and sound really interested, and have a longer conversation. Make her feel that you really like talking to her.

 

End the conversation by politely letting her know that you have things to do, but let her know that you enjoyed talking to her and that you'll call her back. Don't tell her when you'll call her back. Let her wait for a while (around four to five days). She will wonder why you haven't called back, and eventually call you.

 

Now the ball is in your court. It is crucially important to sound very happy when she calls you, or else she won't call back. The secret to making this method to work is that you confuse her. First you make her think that you are really interested in her. Second, you make her feel as if you are no longer interested. Then, repeat the process.

 

What will eventually happen is that her need to be accepted will grow and she will focus her attention to you, to make sure you like her. Then her mind will wander, and she will think about why she is spending so much time thinking about you. Her subconscious mind will then reason that it must be because she cares about you.

 

It is a shame that people have to resort to such devious methods, but your alternative is to be a nice guy. We all know what happens to nice guys, right? They finish last . Why? Because the women they are with get bored and eventually leave.

 

Remember that this is a generic method, and you'll probably have to adapt it more to your own situation. Until next time, have fun and happy trails!

[grkBoy]

quietGuy13, the answer is in the many things I tell you in other topics you start. Those guys who get the girls have a lot going for them. That means they have a good income, loads of confidence, great social skills, charisma, good fashion sense, and possibly good looks.

 

I first want you to bear in mind that just because a woman is "hot" or "super hot" doesn't mean she's a great girl. Seriously. Look how many "above average" women are chronically single while the "average girls" or "plain janes" find husbands.

 

In my travels, the "super hot" women were very picky (and they wanted an above average man), but they were also immature, naive, suffered from low self-esteem, misguided, psycho, flaky, and they especially had LITTLE in their lives other than good looks. They couldn't hold a real conversation, or get a career-worthy job. All they had was good looks and skill in bed. It's no wonder many of them end up with guys who only want to lay them.

 

So you want to get the "hotter" girls? This goes back to the things we all keep telling you:

 

• Get a job and build a steady income
  
• Learn good fashion sense
  
• Learn good hygiene
  
• Hit the gym and at least be in a healthy condition
  
• Learn to talk to women and handle yourself in social situations...that means you're not a wall flower
  
• Build confidence
  
• Have a life (hobbies, interests, doing things, etc) so you'll be INTERESTING
  

That's it. There's no magic potion or "line" that gets the girls. That's what you have to do.

[quietGuy13]

 

Since you're quite young and focused mostly on romance, making female friends is likely low on your list of priorities but, if you desire it, you might be surprised at the benefits of having healthy female friends.

 

 

Well apparently you didn't read my thread right. I said EVEN As friends!!!

I'm just wondering why attractive girls never even want me as a friend. And no i'm not pushing nothing or hitting on them. I'm just a quiet nice guy i just want friendship. Sure i would like to find a GF too but that's not possible if they don't even want to be my friend .

[Professor X]

Is there a reason Some dudes easily get Attractive girls(includingas friends)

 

Yes. .

[Easyguy14]

Oh boy! We got a typical case of low self esteem! Well let me tell you with this kind of attitude you will never be able to attract the type of women you really want!

 

Here goes; I haven't invented this but took it online from a site I enjoy " askmen.com"

 

Women 101

 

What your mothers forgot to teach you: "Intro to Women, Class 101". It is a known fact that men are mommy's little boys , and women are daddy's little princesses . The key word is princess . Women like to be cherished, respected, loved, and most of all, showered with attention. So that is what men should give women; attention.

 

The problem with most men is they think that in order to make sure their catch doesn't get away, they must constantly give women attention. Wrong! The reason that most women get bored in a relationship, or turned off by a new acquaintance, is that they get too much attention at once.

 

Have you ever heard of the phrase "I need some breathing space please!"? Well, this phrase exists for a reason, yet most men ignore it, and continue giving their women their undeniable attention.

 

Wait a minute! You might ask, "Luis, you just said that women like a lot of attention, and now you are telling me too much is bad??" Yes, because the whole secret is to know when to give too much attention and when not to.

 

I recommend a three-step method recommended by psychologist Dr. David Libstein. I've tried it and it works! The question now is, is it an ethical method? Well I always say, "What people don't know, won't hurt them."

 

There are three-steps to baiting the woman you want and if you play your cards right, you may end getting everything you want.

 

Stage One: Bait Her

For a woman to know that you are interested, she must be aware of it. If she is not, then absolutely nothing will happen. You therefore have to take a risk. This is where the chase begins.

 

Pick the woman that you are interested in, wherever you may be. May I suggest that you choose your lady early and concentrate only on her the whole time you are there. If you start looking around too much, you will give her the impression that you are looking for anyone to sleep with.

 

After you find her, begin by looking for body language signs, such as eye contact, a smile, hair touching, etc.

 

If you get these signs from her, you must move quickly. Most men just wait around eyeballing the lady the whole time. By the time they get the nerves to go talk to her, either someone else moved in, or she'll think you are some perverted stalker because you gawked too much.

 

Stage Two: Be Attentive

 

Okay, now you made your move. You initiated the conversation. Now how do you make sure you keep the conversation going, and ensure she remains interested? Spoil her with attention by asking her all types of questions regarding her life. No sex-related questions please . Instead, talk about her likes (music, food, drinks, restaurants), her education, movies, even the current awkward situation.

 

The important thing is to not mention anything (no matter how tempting) about yourself, unless of course she asks you to. If she does, (this usually means she's interested) please remember to be brief and move the topic back to focus to her.

 

Offer to buy her a drink only once the conversation has gone on well for an extended period of time (at least ten minutes). Once the conversation deepens, it is okay to mention that you'd like to keep in contact with her, and ask for a phone number. The first phone call should only be at least two days after the encounter. The conversation should revolve around how much fun you had with her, and how impressed you were with her personality.

 

In other words, compliment her like crazy. Make sure that the first phone call does not last more than twenty minutes. It is crucial that you end the first phone call first. If she ends the conversation, the ball is in her court. The conversation should end with you inviting her out for a coffee.

 

On the first date, don't initiate a conversation about sexual topics, unless of course she does. The first date is a time to explore and find out a little more about each other. Do everything for her, but you don't necessarily have to agree with everything that she has to say. When she disagrees with your stance, accept it, and don't offer excuses either. Excuses make you look weak.

 

Stage Three: The Earthquake

 

Now that the little princess is comfortable, it's time to make the ground shake under her feet. The fact that we want to be accepted, liked, and needed is human nature. Once this need is fulfilled, we turn our attention towards stabilizing it. Just think back to when a friend told you that Mary was interested in you.

 

You probably didn't think much of it at the time, but as soon as you found out that Mary liked someone else, you began wondering why she doesn't like you anymore, and you suddenly became interested in Mary . We always want what we can't have.

 

Well the same theory applies with women. It is time to take away all that attention from the little sweet princess . How? Simple, ask her to call you. When she does, speak to her and sound really interested, and have a longer conversation. Make her feel that you really like talking to her.

 

End the conversation by politely letting her know that you have things to do, but let her know that you enjoyed talking to her and that you'll call her back. Don't tell her when you'll call her back. Let her wait for a while (around four to five days). She will wonder why you haven't called back, and eventually call you.

 

Now the ball is in your court. It is crucially important to sound very happy when she calls you, or else she won't call back. The secret to making this method to work is that you confuse her. First you make her think that you are really interested in her. Second, you make her feel as if you are no longer interested. Then, repeat the process.

 

What will eventually happen is that her need to be accepted will grow and she will focus her attention to you, to make sure you like her. Then her mind will wander, and she will think about why she is spending so much time thinking about you. Her subconscious mind will then reason that it must be because she cares about you.

 

It is a shame that people have to resort to such devious methods, but your alternative is to be a nice guy. We all know what happens to nice guys, right? They finish last . Why? Because the women they are with get bored and eventually leave.

 

Remember that this is a generic method, and you'll probably have to adapt it more to your own situation. Until next time, have fun and happy trails!

 

I wouldn't follow this strategy because it better suits players that are into the game with success. your best bet op is to go with carhill's advice. Im one that has tried it & it does work but believe it or not the average girls with the potential to be good-looking are the better catches. something to think about. you need to talk to the attractive girl you want and to be normal and casual about it. dont be all over her. dont gush. she's tired of that & will lock up if you do. if you keep it cool and make it clear you want to get to know her for who she is as a person, it will open more doors for you. she will not be bored if you do this with confidence/sincerity. your goal is to connect with her before you do anything further. good luck and try it.

[TigerCub]

Well apparently you didn't read my thread right. I said EVEN As friends!!!

I'm just wondering why attractive girls never even want me as a friend. And no i'm not pushing nothing or hitting on them. I'm just a quiet nice guy i just want friendship. Sure i would like to find a GF too but that's not possible if they don't even want to be my friend .

 

But that's the thing

Why do you care what your female friends look like? - if its really just friendship you're after?

I know you say that you're not hitting on them or whatever, but if you actually care about their looks, then you're putting something out there.

 

I can' explain it, but if I knew a guy just wanted to be friends with me just because I'm pretty, I wouldn't want to be friends with him.

 

I'm friends with people I have stuff in common with, people that I can joke around and have fun with, people that are nice and outgoing, and I certainly don't really give a damn if they are hot or not.

 

These pretty girls that aren't letting you become their friend and letting you hang out with them are most likely doing it because wether you're doing it consciously or not, you're letting on that you think they're really pretty and you just want to be around them because of that - and they forsee having to give the uncomfortable "lets just be friends" talk and they just want to avoid all that.

 

Also just because you're a nice quiet guy doesn't mean that they have to be your friends, maybe you guys don't have anything in common?

[betterdeal]

If you just want friendship, give it. That's all there is to it. Be friendly.

[carhill]

Well apparently you didn't read my thread right. I said EVEN As friends!!!

I appear to be amongst the few who actually did read the thread title about 'friends'. The entirety of my post focused on it. Try reading it again

[quietGuy13]

If you just want friendship, give it. That's all there is to it. Be friendly.

 

Yeah i have. that's why i made a great friend

 

Im' just saying there's no difference in when i tried talking to this girl and when i tried talking to the sexy beauties. Why did this girl become my friend and not the others?

 

And i talked the same way.

 

In fact it's the same thing all the time, I talk the same way to all the girl and only the average/below average girls are interested and become my friend.

[carhill]

There are billions of people on the planet, all living their lives. Describe what an 'average/below average girl' is. I struggle to assign such labels to any of the women I've known as friends or lovers. Perhaps that is part of the formula.

[AHardDaysNight]

I think it's because they're not afraid to be themselves.

 

OP, you strike me as a very uncomfortable with yourself kind of guy. You constantly slam and demean yourself. Not to state that I don't know what that's like, because I have suffered from an anxiety disorder...but you can't get a girl unless you believe you can get her.

 

Your biggest problem isn't the way you look, it's what you believe you are.

[betterdeal]

Yeah i have. that's why i made a great friend

 

Im' just saying there's no difference in when i tried talking to this girl and when i tried talking to the sexy beauties. Why did this girl become my friend and not the others?

 

And i talked the same way.

 

In fact it's the same thing all the time, I talk the same way to all the girl and only the average/below average girls are interested and become my friend.

 

Okay then. Wait until she's really upset and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, then befriend her. Then you can be a good friend and listen to her insecurities and just how lost and bewildered she is by men - not you obv. - and how it hurts her to think that her friends only like her because they fancy her.

 

There you go. You will then be a good friend with a pretty girl.

[betterdeal]

Why do you want to be friends with a pretty girl? They're like plain looking girls. They'll get hit on more often and you'll feel a bit of a dick whilst that happens under your nose, but if you're cool with that, then just be friendly, funny, entertaining, there for the bad as well as the good - you know - the things that friends are for each other.

[giuliano-3]

Friends? What are you gonna talk about? 'Jersey Shore?' 'Kardashians?' C'mon man. Be honest with yourself. We're talking about "friends?" FTB? Or friends like your guy friends? Buddies? Hang out?

[Sweetheartt]

Yeah i have. that's why i made a great friend

 

Im' just saying there's no difference in when i tried talking to this girl and when i tried talking to the sexy beauties. Why did this girl become my friend and not the others?

 

And i talked the same way.

 

In fact it's the same thing all the time, I talk the same way to all the girl and only the average/below average girls are interested and become my friend.

 

Why cant u just admit that u wanna get laid by us uggggh! such a loser.

[serial muse]

But that's the thing

Why do you care what your female friends look like? - if its really just friendship you're after?

I know you say that you're not hitting on them or whatever, but if you actually care about their looks, then you're putting something out there.

 

Ding ding ding. This is exactly what I was wondering. OP, if you care about the woman's looks, then you don't just want to be friends. And the truth is, most women can sense the difference. So, that's your answer.

[giuliano-3]

Come to think of it, I've actually got a more than a few "hot" female friends. I didn't seek it out, and we don't hang out the same way/as often as my guy friends though. I don't enjoy shopping or reality TV, which probably limits my options just a bit. But if you have a beach/lake/some public area nearby then I would say it would probably be your best bet to start the search. I'm lost on what to do once you get there.

 

So, how to find that 9.5-10 'friend?' I would say give yourself a makeover. Depending on your locale this might vary a bit. Around here it seems to be : fake tan, hgh/steriod use, tight fitting "smedium" shirts and a whole lot of bravado. Hang out at a bar and nod your head at every "hot" girl that passes by. Eventually you'll hit paydirt. Where there's a will...

[nyc_guy2003]

I talk the same way to all the girl and only the average/below average girls are interested and become my friend.

 

An interesting dynamic I noticed is that hot chicks actively seek out good looking or high status friends to associate with. For example, I have a friend who's hot, like swimsuit model hot, and we often go to the same industry conferences together for our line of business. These conferences are dominated by rich successful men, but what's strange is the people who are most likely to approach my friend aren't men, they're other hot women. These women will come up to her and strike up a conversation out of the blue, and inevitably 10 minutes later will say "let's get lunch sometime" or "come hang out with me and my friends" etc.

 

It seems to me that for hot chicks, who they're seen hanging out with is just as important to them as who they're dating. Due to the social circles I associate with I often meet hot chicks, and I feel like I'm always being evaluated in terms of looks, social status, how hot my wife is, etc. even just for the friendship tip.

[Kelemort]

And some of us, like me, always meet and end up befriending average or below average

 

well i know i know, I just meet one girl at a time so what do i expect, right?

 

SO far in my life i've made(temporary by the way cause they disappear after a while) friends with like 15 girls (some of them being online and penpals) and they've all been average. (i'm early 30s by the way).

 

Well maybe it's a combination of not going out AND talking to the girls i like/not mingling/and NOT being attractive myself.. maybe that's the reason i never have female friends who are hot/attractive.

 

 

Also, seems the ones i'm attracted to are picky and Never are attracted to me.

 

Everyone always comes to threads like these and if you criticize the guy in question, they harp, "Omg but you wouldn't say that to a girl." Um, yes I would. I'd also tell her she's being a shallow dolt.

 

Newsflash: If you are AVERAGE looking, where do you get off feeling that you deserve and only deserve a hot woman? Don't you think they're also playing the game - surely they're aware of their 'level' and know that they could get a better-looking guy. Is it shallow? Yes.

 

But seriously, sure, I see women here and there who are average who think they deserve a supermodel, but it's nothing like the amount of men here who feel that they deserve the hottest chick on the block regardless of what they look like.

 

You're in your early 30s. By now, the effects of gravity are coming into play and nothing is going to last forever. Sure, as a man you have the advantage in that many women are more concerned about a man's financial stability/security than his looks (although looks still matter), women outnumber men, and men can typically shop for younger (and I'd presume, 'hotter') women.

 

But it's time for you to start deciding what's really most important to you and making some sacrifices. I want to do 4 supermodels every single day. But you know what? It's not going to happen, so I sacrificed some traits I wanted and made out with others that were more beneficial. You can't have it all. So when it comes down to it, do you want a relationship or a bed buddy? Because it certainly seems you're more focused on bed buddies.

 

As for why the hotties won't be your friend - like others have said, they can probably see right through you. Judging from your posts, there's an evident shallowness (..you CARE what your female friends look like?) in your dealings with women. Do you ever start conversations with these 'hot' women, or are you pushy (i.e., trying to move the relationship along faster than you would with an 'ordinary' woman?)?

[Conscience]

Well apparently you didn't read my thread right. I said EVEN As friends!!!

I'm just wondering why attractive girls never even want me as a friend. And no i'm not pushing nothing or hitting on them. I'm just a quiet nice guy i just want friendship. Sure i would like to find a GF too but that's not possible if they don't even want to be my friend .

 

Maybe you don't have much to offer as a friend? Think about it to be friends with someone you need to have more to offer then just an ear... it as to go both ways IMO. What do you have to offer to beautiful / educated / intelligent women? Have you thought of that? Do you have any life achievements or perhaps you are professionally stable and have great success? In any relationship weather its friendly or romantic one as to offer something to the other in return (intellectually)..... Are you cultivated do you know anything about wines? Foods? Literature? Arts? Are you passionate about anything? If so exploit that angle that is usually interesting? Women love passion.....

 

For women to be attracted you need to show a good social standing, the more women are around you the more other women perceive you as having a good social standing…. They tend to think that if other women are interested in this guy it must be for a reason….. So they want to get to know you….. And that I’ve proven that to myself in the past year…. It doesn’t mean that you sleep with all these women but the more women you have around you the more women you will attract. Get out there smile and be positive and look like you are someone that people want to be with (interesting)

IMO

Edited August 19, 2011 by Conscience