Steven T Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Ok it has been over 2 months now since the break up and NC. She was my first love and we spent 2 1/2 years together. The first few weeks of the break up were extremely tough and I really wanted to get back with her and work it all out. My whole world had come crashing down before my eyes and I had never felt so much pain in all my life. I couldnt stop thinking about her, she was the only girl I wanted to be with, she was my soul mate, my best friend who I wanted to marry. BUT that was then... This is NOW! It's been 2 months and my opinions on her and our relationship have changed drastically. The mist has disappeared and I am seeing things more clearly. There were so many red flags in the relationship that I chose to ignore as I was so involved with her and the relationship, to some extent I lost some self of who I WAS. It's mad how we can put them up on that pedestal but in reality all you need is time away from them to see things how they really are. Looking back now she was not the one for me. The best thing I ever did was changing my phone number and totally making her vanish from my life. Yes we had awesome times together but these 2 months of NC has made me realise we were not right together. I have learnt we can get so involved and attached to a person/relationship that we lose our self in the process, we become dependant on that person. So if you are currently NC, stick at it and go about living your life! TIME will do it's thing and your opinion may just change So people keep your head up and have the courage, the strength to keep NC. NC is your best friend. Steve x Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Good for you! I am also at the 2 month mark and about 5 weeks no contact. I take the good with the bad and try to consider it all progress. It's nice to hear stories from the other side. p.s. If that's your photo, you are handsome! Link to post Share on other sites
JohnEl Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Ok it has been over 2 months now since the break up and NC. She was my first love and we spent 2 1/2 years together. The first few weeks of the break up were extremely tough and I really wanted to get back with her and work it all out. My whole world had come crashing down before my eyes and I had never felt so much pain in all my life. I couldnt stop thinking about her, she was the only girl I wanted to be with, she was my soul mate, my best friend who I wanted to marry. BUT that was then... This is NOW! It's been 2 months and my opinions on her and our relationship have changed drastically. The mist has disappeared and I am seeing things more clearly. There were so many red flags in the relationship that I chose to ignore as I was so involved with her and the relationship, to some extent I lost some self of who I WAS. It's mad how we can put them up on that pedestal but in reality all you need is time away from them to see things how they really are. Looking back now she was not the one for me. The best thing I ever did was changing my phone number and totally making her vanish from my life. Yes we had awesome times together but these 2 months of NC has made me realise we were not right together. I have learnt we can get so involved and attached to a person/relationship that we lose our self in the process, we become dependant on that person. So if you are currently NC, stick at it and go about living your life! TIME will do it's thing and your opinion may just change So people keep your head up and have the courage, the strength to keep NC. NC is your best friend. Steve x thats great man. im happy for you. im in the same boat but only 8 days NC. we were together for three years, planned on getting married, kids etc. she broke up with me bc she said she felt unnappreciated. i think thats a bunch of BS tho. she held grudges for so long. she never forgot anything and everything i ever did that bothered her. when we broke up, she brought up things from 2009 that still bothered her... thats just crazy! you cant hold grudges like that and expect the relationship to be healthy... anyway, i think im making progress. i would be doing a lot better if she didnt start dating someone the same week we broke up. that makes things a lot worse bc i imagine her being happy with this new guy, like she was with me just a few weeks ago. im hurtin but im gonna keep fighting and keep moving forward. im never going to contact her and i hope i never see her, although she only lives 2 miles from me... your thread has given me inspiration and optimism. thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Steven T Posted August 20, 2011 Author Share Posted August 20, 2011 thats great man. im happy for you. im in the same boat but only 8 days NC. we were together for three years, planned on getting married, kids etc. she broke up with me bc she said she felt unnappreciated. i think thats a bunch of BS tho. she held grudges for so long. she never forgot anything and everything i ever did that bothered her. when we broke up, she brought up things from 2009 that still bothered her... thats just crazy! you cant hold grudges like that and expect the relationship to be healthy... anyway, i think im making progress. i would be doing a lot better if she didnt start dating someone the same week we broke up. that makes things a lot worse bc i imagine her being happy with this new guy, like she was with me just a few weeks ago. im hurtin but im gonna keep fighting and keep moving forward. im never going to contact her and i hope i never see her, although she only lives 2 miles from me... your thread has given me inspiration and optimism. thanks! I have been following your story JohnEl and I can relate to alot of of it. Keep up with the NC and change your number, make her vanish from your life just like I did and in time your going to feel a whole lot better! I believe you have the strength to do this my friend. @ScienceGal yes that is me and thank you for the compliment x Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Good for you ! glad you are better. Hope I get there too. Been a month since it has been over but NC is so hard ! gotta start from today.x Link to post Share on other sites
JohnEl Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 I have been following your story JohnEl and I can relate to alot of of it. Keep up with the NC and change your number, make her vanish from your life just like I did and in time your going to feel a whole lot better! I believe you have the strength to do this my friend. @ScienceGal yes that is me and thank you for the compliment x im going to keep up with the NC but its still so hard to not think about her. i think about her every second of the day. wonder what shes doing, if shes thinking about me, if shes really as happy as she seems to not be with me. i start refllecting on our relationship and try to see where it went wrong. what could i have done differently. i think about the future without her. we had so many plans for us and now they are all gone. im lost and dont know what to do without her. i still havent accepted that she isnt coming back. i know she isnt, but i keep playing out scenerios in my head with her coming back when she realizes that we had something great. i was going to propose to her next summer. i already had it all planned out, so i think about that stuff and play that scenerio out in my head and it kills me. this is the hardest thing ive ever had to deal with... this is day 9 of NC. Link to post Share on other sites
dumpedandsore Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 you look like a former singer, kavana Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 You know i would imagine it would be really hard not to break NC. Because for me right after we break up I dont feel like contacting him or whatever. And I havent since then. I just thought that he really doesnt care when he broke up with me. Maybe that will help you guys with NC. The ex really doesnt care. Doesnt want to hear from you neither. Link to post Share on other sites
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