I want to strangle my sister-in-law

[D-Lish]

(Not literally:o).

 

So , it was my nephew's 3rd B-day Wednesday, and I went over and dropped off a gift in the morning, spent a couple of hours with him, brought the dogs, hung out in the backyard with the kids and the dogs and my sis-in-law. They had initially said they weren't go to go all out and have a big b-day party and just wanted a small little gathering on Wednesday. We had lunch and cup-cakes I brought, then I drove back to Toronto (they live an hour away).

 

I also saw them last Sunday for a bit for breakfast with my parents before they left to go back to the States (where we all brought gifts for him since my parents would be gone back to the States).

 

Today I get a text that they have decided to throw a b-day party for him on Sunday at noon-4pm.

 

I am on vacation this week, I've only made one set of plans- to see my gf and go to the beach Sunday. We haven't gotten together in a few months because of our schedules and her living back home, but she's coming into town Sunday to hang out. I made these plans with her over a week ago.

 

Problem: When I told my sis-in-law that I already had plans- she lost it on me. "Family should always come first, she's gone out and bought all the party favours and food with the expectation that I would come"...

 

I hate guilt trips by the way, it never sits right with me when someone tries to guilt me into doing what they want me to do. She gave me 2 days notice- and I already have plans I'd madeover a week ago.

 

I stuck to my guns and said I couldn't, but I could come by again tomorrow or Wednesday again ( I usually do anyway). It's not good enough. She put a snarky facebook ststus up about not being able to rely on "some people"... I want to strangle her.

 

Now I am second guessing my plans with my gf, but I don't want to let her down either, I haven't seen her in such a long time and she's making a special trip in just to see me Sunday.

 

Sis-in-law has always been a bit of a bully, not that I don't love her, but when she doesn't get what she wants, she really goes to town on the person.

 

What would others do? I'm feeling guilty as hell over this now and I don't know if I should cave, or stick with my plans. It's my first vacation week in AGES. I went from one job straight into the next without a break and it's been close to 16 months since I've had a vacation. I really don't want to break my original plans, and I drive out of my way twice a week to go and visit my nephews as it is. She says I am letting my 3 year old nephew down- and that's what is getting to me. If I cancel on my friend, I am letting her down.

 

She obviously woke up this morning, decided she was going to throw a party afterall- and just made the list expecting everyone on it was going to come (on 2 days notice).

 

I don't know what to do- I know I'd like to see my gf, I was really looking forward to it (I don't have a lot of social time with friends as they are all married with kids). My gf has 2 kids, but she arranged with her H to take the kids for the day so she could come out here.

 

Was I in the wrong to say "sorry, I have these plans already and I'll make it up another day, but I just can't do Sunday on the short notice"...

[Kamille]

Nope, you weren't wrong. Don't let your SIL manipulate you into attending this birthday party. Most children's b-day parties are planned well in advance - why couldn't your SIL plan it ahead?

 

Your SIL is creating drama where no drama needs be. Leave her to it and enjoy your vacation.

[Art_Critic]

D-lish.. it is her 3rd B-day and you aren't missing it for no good reason.. you have plans..

I say go out with your GF's..

You seem to be a great Aunt and already spend tons of time with her.. so she will be cool with it.. her mother on the other hand..Sometimes people are just arsholes and there is nothing you can do about it..

 

It is really your SIL that is the one who needs to rethink how she handled you and was rude to you.. there was no need to pull the blood is thicker than water crap for this situation.

 

She should have started out when she invited you with.. "I know it is short notice and will understand if you can't come but we decide to have a B-day party" instead she blasted you with both barrels needlessly..

 

She could use some time out (maybe an hour) if you ask me

[Disillusioned_Wife]

Good Goddess! Talk about a passive aggressive SIL.

 

Play pass the bean dip, ignore her manipulative status, you already put your foot down, keep it down. She'll live, she'll get over it, she'll move on.

[Sooner or Later]

Stick to your plans!

 

Someone in my family used to guilt others about seeing her children...it is not acceptable.

 

You have your own life, you visit far more than I would, you don`t get much time off at ALL, and you already made plans and shouldn`t change them.

 

Don`t feel guilty or let her bully you into attending -- you need to take care of yourself! (and you already SAW them recently and can see them again soon!)

[dreamingoftigers]

I usually get invitations to parties which are optional.

 

Generally it isn't part of my "probation" to see if I am a good enough candidate to get a weekend pass. Like a mandatory meeting with parole officer.

 

I try not to sentence my guests to parties. I'd like them to want to come. That's why I give lots of notice and the impression that it might be, oh I don't know: FUN!

 

That's just me though YMMV.

 

I had a "friend" like this until recently. Of course she was like your SIL on steroids.

 

She had a bad habit of asking for free babysitting of her two kids "just until eleven or midnight." and then sometimes would stay out all night. One time when I had to work at 5 am.

 

Then she would never babysit in return.

 

What amazed me the most is just how many people she screwed over like this. Like herds of us. Then she ran out of people right around the time her brother-in-law broke his jaw.

 

She was so upset about this. People from all around were commanded to watch her children. It was a "family emergency," she needed to be by his side day and night. He was family after all.

 

I did one babysitting shift. That's all my annoyance could handle. The kid's father was back and forth out of town for work. She could definitely afford to pay someone or take the kids with her. Jeez it was a broken jaw, not a cancer hospice. Plus he had one more brother in town and a legion of friends.

 

Up went the FB statuses left and right "YOU ALL SEE IF I GIVE A **** WHEN YOU NEED HELP." "NO ONE EVER RETURNS THE FAVOR."

 

Plus a few more about friendships not being real etc etc etc.

 

The favor she must have been referring to must have happened back in 2006 or something because I don't EVER remember her doing a favor for anyone.

 

She did remind me aof how she supported me after I kicked my husband out in February. I do remember her stopping by telling me "that sucked" and asking to borrow $40 that I would never see again. Stupid j was with grief at the time. I didn't hear from her for awhile after that.

 

Of course I should feel guilty and watch her children. After all her brother in law's broken jaw is nothing short of tragic. How could someone give him that after he picks a drunken fight with 3 guys. What were they thinking?

 

And was he close family after all. So close in fact that that brother in law kept her warm while her husband was away out of town at work. How could she not return that favor? So close he even let her share his bed. How sweet of him.

 

A few months later, after her husband returned home to warm his own bed, the brother in law and his brand new jaw stayed in their basement for cheap rent. She found a different boyfriend.

 

She left her kids with her husband and split. I heard from her about a month ago. Apparently she got tired of being "selfless" for years and decided to finally do something for herself. I will never understand the gall of some people.

 

PS: funny detail, we have a mutual friend who is actually one if my best friends. We both knew that there was an OM. I had thought that the brother in law was common knowledge. But we both just never said who or what or where. After my "friend" J left her husband, my friend said in passing, " I thought she would have left for S."

 

I said, "who's S?"

 

She said: "you know who S is. The (OM)."

 

I said: "he's not the OM."

she: "yes he is, she told me they went hiking etc."

I say: " um, okay."

She: "where did you hear otherwise?"

I say: "from her. I'm done saying anything."

She: " oh christ. K too? I thought L was the only other one."

I say: "okay enough. Clearly (her husband) doesn't know and they are already split up. He doesn't need to know about his brother."

She: "agreed."

 

The brother lives 2 doors down and talks trash about the wife all the time. Sickening.

 

Just kinda the same attitude on steroids.

 

Go to the beach have fun. Avoid dramatic productions.

[bentnotbroken]

SIL is a big girl who should know better than to make plans for other people without their permission. Go have fun with your friend.

[dreamingoftigers]

Sorry about my somewhat long, somewhat off-topic overpost.

 

To summarize: that attitude is ridiculous. Don't cave to it, feel guilty about it or reinforce it.

[D-Lish]

Thanks, I feel better about sticking to my guns.

I see my nephews twice a week as it is, and the initial plan was for the Wednesday, which I did attend.

 

My sis-in-law will often call me during the day and ask me to babysit when I know I will not be finishing work until say 8, then have to drive an hour out of town to get to their place. In her mind, I am putting work first- but I can't blow off work to drop everything and be a babysitter. Both my parents and myself have suggested they find a neighbourhood babysitter to help, but they don't want to pay for it.

 

I have dogs at home, so I can't leave them alone for 15-16 hours to go to their place to babysit. Last week my SIL wanted me to come and babysit for them so they could have respite and go to a movie. She knew I was working in her area all day and wanted me to just come by on my way home. I explained to her that I WAS working in their area all day, but that didn't change the fact that I had to get home and let the dogs out first and couldn't just stop by after working at a particular store in their area because I had my own responsibility to go home and take care of my own responsibilities- she hung up on me.

 

I'm sorry, but I am not willing to leave my dogs at home for 16 hours or more so I can babysit for them. Apparantly that makes me a bad Aunt.

 

My brother has refused to let anyone but family take care of his kids- they have my SIL's 16 year old cousin that will do it sometimes, but they don't pay her (because she is family).

 

My parents pay their mortgage, extra expenses, and pre-school for both kids. They have it easy as my bro only works sporadically.

 

My bro only works 3 days a week on piece work, and my SIL is a waitress that only works 3 days a week. My Parents foot their bill for everything- just paid for them to get a new roof, fix their water damage and pay for a new bathroom, and just bought them a giant blow up pool for their back yard. Let's not forget they also foot the bill for their mortgage.

[D-Lish]

SIL is a big girl who should know better than to make plans for other people without their permission. Go have fun with your friend.

 

I think I needed to hear this- as well as the supportive sentiments from others.

 

I'm not close with my bro- never have been- but she came into the picture and it was a good thing because she runs the show that should be his show.

 

I do a lot for them, considering that I work more hours than they do combined as a couple.

 

I'm going to see my gf Sunday and try not and feel guilty.

[D-Lish]

I'm waiting for the other side of the coin- someone to tell me I am being a bad Aunt so I can take both sides of the coin into consideration.

 

My conscience is weighing on me.

 

I feel like I should be able to take my ONE Sunday to see a friend- but I don't want it to affect a 3 year old. If I am going to affect 3 year old, I don't want to chance it.

[dreamingoftigers]

Okay, your are a bad Aunt. There - done.

 

But man, she's a sucky SIL. That is so funny that she demands free babysitting. They must be a "type."

 

I actually hired my friend a long time ago before I realized the attitude issues :facepalm:

 

Just yesterday I turned to my husband and said "can you believe that we ever let J supervise anything, ever?"

 

He just said: " she can't even supervise her own kids."

 

(yeah I know pot and kettle there).

[D-Lish]

Okay, your are a bad Aunt. There - done.

 

But man, she's a sucky SIL. That is so funny that she demands free babysitting. They must be a "type."

 

I actually hired my friend a long time ago before I realized the attitude issues :facepalm:

 

Just yesterday I turned to my husband and said "can you believe that we ever let J supervise anything, ever?"

 

He just said: " she can't even supervise her own kids."

 

(yeah I know pot and kettle there).

 

Dot, I am often made to feel so bad for not "babysitting"- but I work 50-60 hours a week. I visit on my days off- Neither of them work much and are financially supported by my parents. I'm exhausted as it is working as much as I do- But I have this one week off- I just want to trust myself and say I do my part and can have one day to do something for myself.

 

If this was someone I worked with, they'd have my wrath.

 

After I said "I can't', I get a VM from my older nephew that can talk saying "DD? Can you come over Sunday?" He's 5, the older brother.

[dreamingoftigers]

Oh that's just so damn sick, getting little kids to manipulate.

 

I think that I would set her very very straight.

I.e. I don't appreciate the kids calling asking about xyz after I already told you "no."

 

It's so weird. My h and I were starting our business at the time we lived next door to her. She always talked about "never getting out." her husband "worked all the time" (this was before he worked out if town, he actually only worked five evenings a week). I felt bad for her (and had massively worse Codependency issues at the time).

 

So i would be working with h during the day, working on the business and doing estimates in the evening. Trying to be a Mom to an infant etc. And then relieving J so she could have some fun.

 

It got really bad. We would end up driving her to the store, and then it became the liquor store 3-4 nights a week. One if us would watch her two kids and our one, the other would drive. She'd pop over and say "I forgot to get milk for M, can you pick me some up?" we drink goat's milk and she didn't want to try him on it etc. She started hanging out for long periods at my place crying about how if M (big M) loved her that he'd blah blah blah.

 

All of a sudden in the space of a couple months, my evenings and weekends almost totally disappeared. It was quite a challenge to untangle myself and get them back again. Of course I had the responsibility not to get so over-involved with someone etc. I just found her so toxic. If you couldn't give her something, she really wanted nothing to do with you. Like even expecting material and financial somethings at a lot of points. Like we were some big commune that everyone else had to contribute into but her. Ugh, she utterly drained my energy. I saw her today and I just really didn't want to have s conversation with her because it turns into: " can I just have xyz."

 

And then if you aren't willing to part with xyz, every mutual friend you've ever known knows all about it by three in the afternoon. Just how blah blah blah you really are. And FB is just one option for her. Ugh ugh ugh.

 

GO TO THE BEACH. ignore your Mini-J. Life's too short to cuddle people who have a knife to your back.

[Sooner or Later]

I think you should consider putting some boundaries on this dynamic.

 

An hour drive is not around the corner--especially when you work so many hours during the week!

 

A visit once every two weeks (or even three weeks!) should be more than fine to maintain a relationship with your nephew and niece.

 

They need to realize that you have a life and not much time at all for self-care and leisure.

 

I would be really resentful at this point about their manipulation and guilt tripping of you.

 

You are visiting far more than any aunt or uncle I know who lives an hour distance and has such limited personal time.

[Kamille]

Oh yes, you're a bad aunt. You make time for your nephew, spend time with him, babysit him, love and care for him. What horrible aunt you are. Everyone knows being a good aunt involves self-sacrificing your own well-being when their SIL acts like a 16 year old high school spoiled teen, unable to plan a birthday in advance or understand (busy) adults make plans ahead of time.

 

Your nephew is going to have a birthday party. He's going to be surrounded by cake, gifts, balloons, decorations, games and hopefully some kids his age. Unless your SIL points out your absence, your nephew is unlikely to even think: "Wait, auntie D isn't here". He's 3! He'll be into what's on offer.

 

If your guilt is eating you up, it's because she won't recognize the validity of your point of view. It's making you question yourself because, in an ideal situation, she would have understood. D, don't fall for it and don't let her immaturity ruin your day with your friend. Take a deep breath and believe you and your SIL will be able to work this out.

 

Often, dealing with an emotional blackmailer involves first stirring up the pot. Once she sees you no longer respond to her guilt trips, she'll eventually be more open to a discussion.

Edited August 20, 2011 by Kamille

[dreamingoftigers]

Oh yes, you're a bad aunt. You make time for your nephew, spend time with him, babysit him, love and care for him. What horrible aunt you are. Everyone knows being a good aunt involves self-sacrificing your own well-being when their SIL acts like a 16 year old high school spoiled teen, unable to plan a birthday in advance or understand (busy) adults make plans ahead of time.

 

Your nephew is going to have a birthday party. He's going to be surrounded by cake, gifts, balloons, decorations, games and hopefully some kids his age. Unless your SIL points out your absence, your nephew is unlikely to even think: "Wait, auntie D isn't here". He's 3! He'll be into what's on offer.

 

If your guilt is eating you up, it's because she won't recognize the validity of your point of view. It's making you question yourself because, in an ideal situation, she would have understood. D, don't fall for it and don't let her

immaturity ruin your day with your friend. Take a deep breath and believe you and your SIL will be able to work this out.

 

Often, dealing with an emotional blackmailer involves first stirring up the pot. Once she sees you no longer respond to her guilt trips, she'll eventually be more open to a discussion.

 

OMG, she has nephews and has interests outside of them?!?! I didn't realize it was this bad!

 

Worst Aunt ever!!:bunny:

:rolleyes:

[westrock]

I'm waiting for the other side of the coin- someone to tell me I am being a bad Aunt so I can take both sides of the coin into consideration.

 

My conscience is weighing on me.

 

I feel like I should be able to take my ONE Sunday to see a friend- but I don't want it to affect a 3 year old. If I am going to affect 3 year old, I don't want to chance it.

 

You're not a bad Aunt no matter which way you decide.

 

I see a lot of discussion above is about the SIL, your brother, and the demands they put on you. Yes, it's a lot and unfair the way they expect you to come by to babysit etc. and you should cut back on all of that and tell them "no" more often during the week.

 

But, I'll give you the other side of the coin so that you have some perspective. I realize the other posters won't agree with me but hopefully it will help you decide either way.

 

It seems this party is a boiling point for all the past demands they are putting on you. Instead of focussing on the SIL and brother and all the demands they put on you, focus on the kids for this weekend. They are 3 and 5. They are lucky to have an aunt like you. They are probably thrilled everytime you spend time with them. Although they don't know it, for the rest of their lives these kids will benefit from all the bonding you do with them at this young age. You also are benefitting from having the opportunity to spend time with them, especially if you don't have kids of your own. Indirectly, through the kids, you are also bonding with your brother and SIL. To miss the birthday party is to miss out on a bonding experience of the whole family.

 

The birthday party is a celebration of the milestone of your niece's life so far for which you have played a vital part of as her aunt during the past year. Remember, the party is not just a celebration of the child, but it is also a celebration of all the people in her life too which includes you. If you miss it, you're essentially missing your own party.

 

If you're not there, the kids will likely ask "when is auntiee dd coming?" and they'll be told some vague answer. Even if they don't ask, you won't be there during this important day of your niece's life.

 

If it were me, I would go to the birthday party. I wouldn't miss it for the world. But that's me.

 

If you go, it doesn't mean you have to be there all day. Is there any way you can go to the party and then leave early to spend time with your friend? Or spend time with your friend first and then arrive late. Or have your friend come to the party for a bit then head out.

 

What you should do from now on is cut down on your availability during the week. When they expect you to come during the week, you just calmly say the truth, "I can't this week, sorry I am busy" without any guilt.

[Kamille]

OMG, she has nephews and has interests outside of them?!?! I didn't realize it was this bad!

 

Worst Aunt ever!!:bunny:

:rolleyes:

 

 

I'm trying to remember if I ever noticed aunts and uncles at my b-day parties when I was a kid. I remember, once, my favorite aunt was away for our huge Easter family dinner. I noticed and asked my parents. They explained that she wished she was there, loved me very much and would see me in a few days. The End. I went on to enjoy my chocolate easter bunny. (If I remember correctly, she showed up later that week with a chocolate and asked me about what I had done on Easter.)

 

Your nephew can learn a healthy lesson: absence doesn't take anything away from how much you mean to each other.

[D-Lish]

You're not a bad Aunt no matter which way you decide.

 

I see a lot of discussion above is about the SIL, your brother, and the demands they put on you. Yes, it's a lot and unfair the way they expect you to come by to babysit etc. and you should cut back on all of that and tell them "no" more often during the week.

 

But, I'll give you the other side of the coin so that you have some perspective. I realize the other posters won't agree with me but hopefully it will help you decide either way.

 

It seems this party is a boiling point for all the past demands they are putting on you. Instead of focussing on the SIL and brother and all the demands they put on you, focus on the kids for this weekend. They are 3 and 5. They are lucky to have an aunt like you. They are probably thrilled everytime you spend time with them. Although they don't know it, for the rest of their lives these kids will benefit from all the bonding you do with them at this young age. You also are benefitting from having the opportunity to spend time with them, especially if you don't have kids of your own. Indirectly, through the kids, you are also bonding with your brother and SIL. To miss the birthday party is to miss out on a bonding experience of the whole family.

 

The birthday party is a celebration of the milestone of your niece's life so far for which you have played a vital part of as her aunt during the past year. Remember, the party is not just a celebration of the child, but it is also a celebration of all the people in her life too which includes you. If you miss it, you're essentially missing your own party.

 

If you're not there, the kids will likely ask "when is auntiee dd coming?" and they'll be told some vague answer. Even if they don't ask, you won't be there during this important day of your niece's life.

 

If it were me, I would go to the birthday party. I wouldn't miss it for the world. But that's me.

 

If you go, it doesn't mean you have to be there all day. Is there any way you can go to the party and then leave early to spend time with your friend? Or spend time with your friend first and then arrive late. Or have your friend come to the party for a bit then head out.

 

What you should do from now on is cut down on your availability during the week. When they expect you to come during the week, you just calmly say the truth, "I can't this week, sorry I am busy" without any guilt.

 

I have decided not to go. I appreciate the sentiment, but I talked to my parents this afternoon and they reminded me that I've already attended 2 b-day celebrations for him thus far.

 

It's just my brother, SIL and the kids on Sunday, no other family members, she is estranged from her side of the family save for a cousin or two. My parents live in the US, and we had a b-day brunch for him as a family before they left- and I attended another little b-day get together on the actual day of his b-day (which was planned). They don't socialize with other parents with children much, so there won't be kids attending. It would just basically be me going over for a third b-day event.

 

My brother hasn't said anything about it, he's not the vocal one.

 

Like I said, I don't get out much, so seeing my gf tomorrow means a lot to me. Not that my nephew doesn't- but I see them all the time and I think I've been more than reasonable attending 2 b-day parties thus far.

[Art_Critic]

Make sure when you go out with the girls that you scope out all the hot men.. !!

[D-Lish]

Make sure when you go out with the girls that you scope out all the hot men.. !!

 

I will, and I will report back to you:p

[westrock]

I have decided not to go. I appreciate the sentiment, but I talked to my parents this afternoon and they reminded me that I've already attended 2 b-day celebrations for him thus far.

 

Thanks for restating the part in bold. What I wrote would apply if the Sunday party was the only b-day celebration. But since you've already attended 2 b-day celebrations, I agree you should go out with your gf on Sunday. Have fun!

[Nexus One]

In my opinion you should stick to your guns D-Lish, not only because it is reasonable to do so, but also because you deserve some time for yourself. If you make 50-60 hour work weeks, then you need some time for yourself. Besides you already regularly babysit for them, so you see them more than you see your gf.

 

That being said, your SIL kind of sounds like a spoiled b*tch.

 

Thanks, I feel better about sticking to my guns.

I see my nephews twice a week as it is, and the initial plan was for the Wednesday, which I did attend.

 

My sis-in-law will often call me during the day and ask me to babysit when I know I will not be finishing work until say 8, then have to drive an hour out of town to get to their place. In her mind, I am putting work first- but I can't blow off work to drop everything and be a babysitter. Both my parents and myself have suggested they find a neighbourhood babysitter to help, but they don't want to pay for it.

 

I have dogs at home, so I can't leave them alone for 15-16 hours to go to their place to babysit. Last week my SIL wanted me to come and babysit for them so they could have respite and go to a movie. She knew I was working in her area all day and wanted me to just come by on my way home. I explained to her that I WAS working in their area all day, but that didn't change the fact that I had to get home and let the dogs out first and couldn't just stop by after working at a particular store in their area because I had my own responsibility to go home and take care of my own responsibilities- she hung up on me.

 

I'm sorry, but I am not willing to leave my dogs at home for 16 hours or more so I can babysit for them. Apparantly that makes me a bad Aunt.

 

My brother has refused to let anyone but family take care of his kids- they have my SIL's 16 year old cousin that will do it sometimes, but they don't pay her (because she is family).

 

My parents pay their mortgage, extra expenses, and pre-school for both kids. They have it easy as my bro only works sporadically.

 

My bro only works 3 days a week on piece work, and my SIL is a waitress that only works 3 days a week. My Parents foot their bill for everything- just paid for them to get a new roof, fix their water damage and pay for a new bathroom, and just bought them a giant blow up pool for their back yard. Let's not forget they also foot the bill for their mortgage.

 

After reading this, not only does she now sound like a spoiled b*tch, but also like a freeloader. Are you sure she isn't one of those people that only calls over people when she wants something from them?

 

You should ask her: "B*tch what have you done for me lately?!"

 

You deserve some you-time.

[D-Lish]

In my opinion you should stick to your guns D-Lish, not only because it is reasonable to do so, but also because you deserve some time for yourself. If you make 50-60 hour work weeks, then you need some time for yourself. Besides you already regularly babysit for them, so you see them more than you see your gf.

 

That being said, your SIL kind of sounds like a spoiled b*tch.

 

After reading this, not only does she now sound like a spoiled b*tch, but also like a freeloader. Are you sure she isn't one of those people that only calls over people when she wants something from them?

 

You should ask her: "B*tch what have you done for me lately?!"

 

You deserve some you-time.

 

Thanks Nex,

 

She is a bit spoiled- especially by my parents.

 

My parents give them money to live off of every month- and my mom said that the last few times they've handed them their monthly cheque she hasn't said "thank you".

 

She's just very controlling. Sometimes I feel bad for my brother.

She gives all of us lists every x-mas and b-day telling us what specifically to get the boys for x-mas. Last x-mas she gave my parents the direction to buy the boys bunk-beds!!!

 

The last time I said I couldn't babysit because I had to work late at a store opening- she actually called the store to see if I was telling the truth!

 

I am lucky in that one of my stores is in a mall 10 minutes from their place, so on the days I see that store I always pop by.

 

Now it looks like it might rain tomorrow, which might ruin plans for the beach, but we'll do lunch or something if that's the case!

 

I'm starting to feel less guilty.