dreamingoftigers Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 I'll going your place if there is really good cake. Not that Wal-mart grocery cake. Good cake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 21, 2011 Author Share Posted August 21, 2011 I'll going your place if there is really good cake. Not that Wal-mart grocery cake. Good cake. I am sure there will be good cake:) Bring your little one, my nephews don't know too many others kids their age:p Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 I'll check the flights LOL I am really missing the province/state you are in actually :( I spent better portions of my childhood out there and lived in the Capital for awhile. My daughter was born there. Both mine parents and my husband and his family are all out there. Plus my extendeds, whom were so great to me while I was pregnant. There is a beach that is my favorite part of all of my travels out there as well and my heart breaks thinking it has been 2 summers. Oh to have some cash right now. I'd even go for Wal-Mart cake. Or just to strangle your SIL because you'll be busy at the beach. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 21, 2011 Author Share Posted August 21, 2011 I'll check the flights LOL I am really missing the province/state you are in actually :( I spent better portions of my childhood out there and lived in the Capital for awhile. My daughter was born there. Both mine parents and my husband and his family are all out there. Plus my extendeds, whom were so great to me while I was pregnant. There is a beach that is my favorite part of all of my travels out there as well and my heart breaks thinking it has been 2 summers. Oh to have some cash right now. I'd even go for Wal-Mart cake. Or just to strangle your SIL because you'll be busy at the beach. I like to go to the beach, there is something about being in the sun on a sandy beach that makes me feel like everything is right in the world. Whenever I go to to my parents place in Florida, I find so much solace sitting in the sun by the ocean- it's awesome:laugh: The beach I am close to is not the ocean, and I'd probably never swim in the water- but it'll do:laugh: When I was a kid- my parents used to take my little bro and I to Port Dover on Lake Erie. I remember splashing away in the water and breast stroking right into a floating piece of poo... an hour later, same thing, but it was a maxi-pad. No more swimming in fresh water for miss d-lish since:p I have to warn you- go to the b-day party at your own risk, you may get asked to fly in at your own expense to babysit for free twice a week;) Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 There are only 2 lakes at this point in time that I would swim in. Erie isn't one of them. Superior sure as Hell isn't either. The two are both beautiful. Oh wait Michigan I would swim in too. But only certain parts. Link to post Share on other sites
sm1tten Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Ugh, I'm from Cleveland and let me tell you, I would never swim in Erie. I've done Michigan and Superior (cold, cold!) and living in Chicago I spend a lot of time... dipping my toes in frigid water. On topic: I hope you are enjoying your day. You are a great aunt - way better than myself, billions times better than my own aunts - and you deserve a little time to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Hey D, I trust you're having a great time with your friend, regardless of the weather. You deserve it! Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 The last time I said I couldn't babysit because I had to work late at a store opening- she actually called the store to see if I was telling the truth! Seems like she acts like she's entitled to have you babysit her kids. In my opinion she wasn't just being controlling there, she showed that she doesn't trust you and was looking for something to "catch" you on for whatever reason. Is your brother happy with her? And what do your parents think about the fact that they have to pay for so much stuff for them? Link to post Share on other sites
fltc Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 I will, and I will report back to you:p Scope out the hot women for me, please? Thanks! Now I am second guessing my plans with my gf, but I don't want to let her down either, I haven't seen her in such a long time and she's making a special trip in just to see me Sunday. I can't see you have any choice, your friend planned this special trip before your SIL announced the Bday party, you MUST spend the day with gf! Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 21, 2011 Author Share Posted August 21, 2011 Hey D, I trust you're having a great time with your friend, regardless of the weather. You deserve it! The weather only held out for a bit:mad: We went down to the beach for a little while and then went to the golfing range and had a late lunch. Seems like she acts like she's entitled to have you babysit her kids. In my opinion she wasn't just being controlling there, she showed that she doesn't trust you and was looking for something to "catch" you on for whatever reason. Is your brother happy with her? And what do your parents think about the fact that they have to pay for so much stuff for them? Saying "no" to babysitting is a big deal in our family, lol. I don't know if my brother is happy or not, I know he loves his kids. I don't think they're super happy- but content enough. My parents have pretty much always paid for them because my brother doesn't work much. My parents drove back 12 hours to babysit for an overnight so they could go away for a night on their anniversary. They spoil them. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 D-Lish, the problem is bigger then a day at the beach. You need to get those brick walls up with her, before I come down on vacation and throw one of those bricks at her Kidding, (yeah, kidding...) It is about bring a people-pleaser? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Ugh, I'm from Cleveland and let me tell you, I would never swim in Erie. I've done Michigan and Superior (cold, cold!) and living in Chicago I spend a lot of time... dipping my toes in frigid water. On topic: I hope you are enjoying your day. You are a great aunt - way better than myself, billions times better than my own aunts - and you deserve a little time to yourself. Beautiful beach downtown eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 21, 2011 Author Share Posted August 21, 2011 D-Lish, the problem is bigger then a day at the beach. You need to get those brick walls up with her, before I come down on vacation and throw one of those bricks at her Kidding, (yeah, kidding...) It is about bring a people-pleaser? Sort of I guess. I only babysit when I can, but if I can't I catch a bit of flack. She can be scary, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 People with a sense of entitlement are disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 (edited) People with a sense of entitlement are disgusting. I'd agree normally, but when it comes to the kids- I soften. Growing up my brother and I were never close- we have nothing at all in common and he's extremely introverted- my sis-in-law is outspoken and sometimes overbearing. To be honest, I don't think he'd even be working if it wasn't for her because she writes his resume and sends it out for him. He's that nervous/shy/introverted/lazy/unmotivated. So in a way- having a wife that is overbearing actually compliments him in a weird sort of way that is beneficial to him. To give you an example of how she is: They got engaged shortly after I got married, and she called me and asked me flat out "yeah, how much did your parents give you for your wedding? We need to know so we can plan ours"... I flat out told her to deal with my parents, so she did, and asked the same question, lol. I'm getting off topic. I actually made a ppint of scheduling a visit to my store in their area and went and dropped off ANOTHER gift and saw the kids for a bit- got a cold reception, but whatever, I deserved my day with my gf and I'm not going to let the guilt eat away at me. Edited August 24, 2011 by D-Lish Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I actually made a ppint of scheduling a visit to my store in their area and went and dropped off ANOTHER gift and saw the kids for a bit- got a cold reception, but whatever, I deserved my day with my gf and I'm not going to let the guilt eat away at me. Good job D. Don't give in! How were the kids? But more importantly, you didn't speak much about the day with your friend. Were able to tune out the drama and enjoy a nice relaxing day? ps: had my own family drama this weekend. I took my own advice: I stopped being attached to getting the family member to recognize my point of view as legitimate. Instead, I just proceeded with the evening as planned, resisting the "guilt-ing". Drama diffused. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Good job D. Don't give in! How were the kids? But more importantly, you didn't speak much about the day with your friend. Were able to tune out the drama and enjoy a nice relaxing day? ps: had my own family drama this weekend. I took my own advice: I stopped being attached to getting the family member to recognize my point of view as legitimate. Instead, I just proceeded with the evening as planned, resisting the "guilt-ing". Drama diffused. Geesh, no. I spent the whole day feeling guilty. That's what we do right? How did it work for you? When are we going for a coffee or one pint Kam? Just put on the pressure- but it's not pressure- We will love each other in person:p Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I'm waiting for the other side of the coin- someone to tell me I am being a bad Aunt so I can take both sides of the coin into consideration. My conscience is weighing on me. I feel like I should be able to take my ONE Sunday to see a friend- but I don't want it to affect a 3 year old. If I am going to affect 3 year old, I don't want to chance it. But...you're NOT being a bad aunt. And it won't affect your nephew that you're not there, unless his parents frame it as a negative thing, i.e., "Aunt D-Lish doesn't love you enough to come." ANd you know, you can't control if that's how they parent. They'll only raise a child who expects everyone to drop everything every time they have something they need. I really have a beef about people with kids who think just because you don't have kids you're not busy and therefore of course should be willing to babysit. I find that the parents who are mature and reasonable in other areas of their lives also tend to be reasonable when it comes to their responsibility to their children, and they don't expect that just because they have kids everyone should be willing to pitch in and help, all the time. If you're really worried about not being there, send over some surprise balloons or something. Otherwise, don't worry about it. I'm sure your nephew knows, by your continued loving presence, that you love him very much. Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Whoops. Sorry--I posted my above rant-ish comment before reading through the whole thread. I'm glad you went to the beach with your friend Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 she is estranged from her side of the family Gee, I wonder why. My Evil Stepmother estranged her entire 30-member family, one by one, until she had only one sister left who would even speak to her. Have you ever read The Dance Of Anger? It's an outstanding book about learning how to say no to people without them thinking you're selfish or you hate them, and so that they can't use it against you. I really recommend it. Very small book, you could read it in one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Geesh, no. I spent the whole day feeling guilty. That's what we do right? No! That's really too bad. You really deserved a good relaxing day. How did it work for you? Well, it was of a different scale. In a nutshell, my parents made a mistake which meant they stood me up, and got mad at me when, after 3 hours of waiting, I decided to go out and enjoy my only afternoon off in 2 weeks. (I left a message on their machine to inform them of this). You would think since the mistake was theirs, that they would recognize it must have been frustrating for me to wait, no? Nope. They got mad at me and told me I had ruined their afternoon (allegedly because deciding to go do something else showed I was frustrated at them). You wouldn't believe how upset they were at the message I left. I realized they would never apologize for causing the mistake, and keep blaming me for "ruining" their afternoon with my "insolence". Instead, I focused on not responding to their anger and their attempts at making me think my perspective on things and actions weren't legitimate. Eventually, they had nothing to argue with, so they calmed down. But seriously, no wonder I struggle/d with assertiveness! Thanks to therapy, I felt almost exterior to the dynamic. I was observing it, thinking back to some of the things my therapist had perceived about my relationship with my parents, namely that I was never allowed to express anger to/at them. I fought the urge to believe I had done something wrong. (Normally, I would think: maybe they're right, maybe it was rude of me to call them, tell them I thought there was a misunderstanding, that this was my only afternoon off so I was going to go enjoy it.) Instead, I remembered: even if I expressed frustrations, I have the right to express frustration. That helped me resist feeling guilty, and engaging in trying to defend myself when I had nothing to defend. The whole thing felt like a breakthrough really. When are we going for a coffee or one pint Kam? Just put on the pressure- but it's not pressure- We will love each other in person:p I won't be in Toronto until the end of sept, but would love to meet up! I know you're going to crack me up! Link to post Share on other sites
jackmortin Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 If you go, it doesn't mean you need to be there all day. Is there any way you can go to the party & then leave early to spend time along with your mate? Or spend time along with your mate first & then arrive late. Or have your mate come to the party for a bit then head out. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 I hear you about SIL's. I just ditched mine on FB.. Shes a witch! Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted September 10, 2011 Author Share Posted September 10, 2011 If you go, it doesn't mean you need to be there all day. Is there any way you can go to the party & then leave early to spend time along with your mate? Or spend time along with your mate first & then arrive late. Or have your mate come to the party for a bit then head out. No- they live an hour and 20 minutes away. And I'd already done 2 parties for the little guy. I hear you about SIL's. I just ditched mine on FB.. Shes a witch! Mea:) Oh no, what did she do this time? My SIL isn't horrible, just bossy and sometimes more entitled than she ought to be with my parents and myself. She hasn't spoken to me since the party- I've been by twice when my brother was there and she was working since. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 No- they live an hour and 20 minutes away. And I'd already done 2 parties for the little guy. Oh no, what did she do this time? My SIL isn't horrible, just bossy and sometimes more entitled than she ought to be with my parents and myself. She hasn't spoken to me since the party- I've been by twice when my brother was there and she was working since. D.. I think I'd crash the LS server.. if I went into details. Just better off having NO CONTACT! LOL Mea:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts