no word from him after 7 weeks no contact

[dumpedandsore]

those who read my other threads knew that over a month ago, i was cruelly dumped by my ex bf, who left me without a word, until a short email reply, that he want a break-up, and his decision is final.

 

I have been nursing my wounds since. wondering why would he choose to abandon me in such a manner? (no break-up meeting, proper dissolution, attempts to maintain contact amicably, no attempts to reconcilitation). He just simply blew me off (as if i was his ONS partner, or a fling) and never contact me again. Doesn't he feel bad, guilty or obliged to check on me to see if im coping well after his adrupt departure?

 

One month into the break-up, he hasnt attempted to make any contact with me. He has my sis's contacts but he didnt even bother to check with her on my well-being. He knows im not doing fine (job and family problems) and can't cope being alone. Yet, he just moved on like he has not done me wrong.

 

i can't believe it. it is as if im not a human being, just a disposable object and i deserve to suffer alone. I recently quit my job and feel even more despaired with my unemployment predicament. I applied to a few jobs and havent received any responses yet.

 

I seem my life is going downhill rapidly, try to pick myself up and get it back in order but it simply doesnt work. Noone bothers to care for me, i just shut myself in the room and mull over my state of stagnation. i pray and pray, but no miracles or better news arrive just get worse.

 

how? i only have mounting credit card bills, loss of all my academic certificates (and I can't replace them, the thought of it makes me suicidal and totally insecure), uncaring family and almost zero friend (who simply tell me in one sentence to bit the bullet)...., soon to be unemployed (which means financial problems), more acne and deep acne scars, a widening waistline (been pumping in lots of snacks and junk comfort food) to stay insane, depleting savings..

Edited August 20, 2011 by dumpedandsore

[dumpedandsore]

i am also one of the rare minority in this world, who never get to find love or meet the opposite sex in natural settings like work, studies, through activities, clubs or events.

 

love doesnt come to me, in short, i have to go online, prowl through the million dating profiles, before i could find a guy who is willing to hang-out again with me (but not for long)

 

thats why , after 7 years of digging for love online, im still single, heartbroken, unwanted and totally jaded

[alexa137]

I feel your pain. i am going through the same situation, my ex dumped me 3 weeks ago and hasnt tried to contact me since then, i am miserable,crying myself to sleep every night, sitting home alone everyday thinking about everything we did together, too much reminds me of him. Ive been unemployed 2 years, so no money, so cant go out and do anything. my only highlight of my day is going to the pool, but that will be over in less than 2 weeks.

I hate men! i do the dating sites also, but i really dont even want to be by another man, not anytime soon, im gonna be 41 and i dont think ive ever had a man say they love me yet. maybe 1 about 20 yrs ago. And the one t hing i want in life so bad is to be in a good loving relationship.

why do men act so dumb? some days are ok, but others really suck! like fridays and the weekends.

I lay in bed thinking how can someone maybe pretend they liked me for 3 months and spend all that time, and share so many intimate moments just forgot about me? its devastating, makes you feel worthless your self esteem goes down so much, and mine was low to begin with!

everyday i wish pray and hope i get a call, text, email, message something from this guy because i dont think i will ever find a guy that had so many good qualities that i yearn for, other than the one that he used to break up with me!

like everyone says in time it will get better, i would just love to sleep and wake up a few months later so i dont have to go through the long boring depressing days or thinking of him

its the hardest thing to do, but we will get through it in time

[The Aviator]

It's not just a guy thing. I'm going through the same thing. My ex girlfriend left me nearly 5 months ago! I never saw her again and apart from one email 7 weeks after we split up asking what she thought I never heard from her again. It's horrible how someone who would get concerned if you didn't text them back within the hour just blows you out and wants absolutely nothing to do with you whatsoever! She didn't even wish me Happy Birthday the other week.

 

I like to think I am over the initial pain but I still miss her dearly. It really is like she has died! As bad as that sounds...it's just what it is like!

[dumpedandsore]

It's not just a guy thing. I'm going through the same thing. My ex girlfriend left me nearly 5 months ago! I never saw her again and apart from one email 7 weeks after we split up asking what she thought I never heard from her again. It's horrible how someone who would get concerned if you didn't text them back within the hour just blows you out and wants absolutely nothing to do with you whatsoever! She didn't even wish me Happy Birthday the other week.

 

I like to think I am over the initial pain but I still miss her dearly. It really is like she has died! As bad as that sounds...it's just what it is like!

 

i don't know. he has hurted me badly and deeply and yet he makes it looks like, he was the victim and his actions are justifiable. He tells my sis that he is hurted by my words/actions.

 

I been waiting for him to end the relationship properly, at least on a better note. I still feel very angry and upset.

 

Should i write him an email and tell him how badly he has hurted me one last time? i cant stand it when he can just played me , took my virginity, and run away forever, as if nothing happened and was wrong. I need to protect my pride and dignity. how can i let him get away just like that,,

[reimeivn]

no. my ex did the same things. he abused me, he hurt me, he humiliated me, and he dumped me. he still play the victim. thats just low. dont write him any emails. let him be the victim he want, say all that he needs to get out of his mouth.

[wilsonx]

I am going to respond in a way that's not holding your hand or apologetic, its more of a motivating type response with no bitterness to it.

 

 

One month into the break-up, he hasnt attempted to make any contact with me. He has my sis's contacts but he didnt even bother to check with her on my well-being. He knows im not doing fine (job and family problems) and can't cope being alone. Yet, he just moved on like he has not done me wrong.

 

Right now, you do not see it but he's actually doing you a huge favor with NC. He's letting you go. Its not selfish at all, its the right thing to do in a breakup.

 

Another big problem I see with this first paragraph is you need to be able to cope and learn how to be alone again. I do not know the reason for the end of the relationship but at this point it doesn't matter. It's over, its not going to be fixed.

 

 

i can't believe it. it is as if im not a human being, just a disposable object and i deserve to suffer alone. I recently quit my job and feel even more despaired with my unemployment predicament. I applied to a few jobs and havent received any responses yet.

 

You have to learn to suffer alone. We are all doing it right now on these forums. It will make you a better person on the other side. As far as other jobs go, keep applying

 

 

 

I seem my life is going downhill rapidly, try to pick myself up and get it back in order but it simply doesnt work. Noone bothers to care for me, i just shut myself in the room and mull over my state of stagnation. i pray and pray, but no miracles or better news arrive just get worse.

 

Well, when you get to the bottom of the hill and cant fall down any further, you will be at rock bottom. You can at that point make 2 decisions, you can stay there and do nothing, or you can try to climb back up the hill.

 

The only person that you need to worry about caring about you is yourself. That's it. Stop sitting around your room and do something.

 

I am not a religious person by any means but there is a story a friend of mine told me a month ago that has stuck with me.

 

"This guy went fishing one day and he was out in the middle of the ocean and his boat sprang a leak. He realized he was in a really bad situation so he prayed and ask god for a help/miracle to save him. At this point, he was about knee deep in water. Another fishing boat came by and the captain asked him if he was alright and if he needed help. The fisherman replied no thanks, I already prayed for God to send me some help. A couple hours later he was chest deep treading in the water and another boat comes by and asks the fisherman treading water if he needed assistance. The fisherman refused again stating that God would send him help. A few hours passed and now the guy barely had his head above the water and another boat came by offering assistance. The fisherman refused again stating that God would send him help. The fisherman drowned a couple hours later and then went to heaven and saw God. He looked at God and said, "Hey whats going on, the past several hours I was praying for your help and a miracle to save me." God responded, I sent you three boats but you did not take the initiative to get on any of them.

 

Moral of the story? You have to take the initiative in starting to regain control of your life. You never know, God could be helping you but you choose to do nothing and you are going to drown.

 

 

how? i only have mounting credit card bills, loss of all my academic certificates (and I can't replace them, the thought of it makes me suicidal and totally insecure), uncaring family and almost zero friend (who simply tell me in one sentence to bit the bullet)...., soon to be unemployed (which means financial problems), more acne and deep acne scars, a widening waistline (been pumping in lots of snacks and junk comfort food) to stay insane, depleting savings..

 

This looks like a nice list of goals that you can start knocking off. Pick the easiest one first and knock it off. Then go to the next one, then the next one, then the next one, soon enough none of these things will be on your list of stuff that are keeping you at rock bottom

 

i am also one of the rare minority in this world, who never get to find love or meet the opposite sex in natural settings like work, studies, through activities, clubs or events.

 

love doesnt come to me, in short, i have to go online, prowl through the million dating profiles, before i could find a guy who is willing to hang-out again with me (but not for long)

 

thats why , after 7 years of digging for love online, im still single, heartbroken, unwanted and totally jaded

 

This attitude needs to change. If you go through life thinking like this, then this is exactly how you are going to end up. Theres 6 billion people on this planet but you will never meet a single one of them with your current attitude. I am pretty sure that the odds of you finding what you want are significantly better then you think.