It never really gets better you just learn to live with it

[itllgetbetter]

Willow: in your post #36, you state: "he also tried to get me to go home with him, kept asking me to go back for a drink." In addition, he had a child with a W he never married. Those two things didn't impress you last week so, what's changed?

 

I know you're feeling a bit lonely, but, it's not impressive that the guy you're now considering wanted to take you back to his place for a "drink" after chatting you up in a bar. This doesn't sound like "true love" to me that you speak of in the horscope in your post below.

 

As for the blind date, is that tonight? There should be an attraction that you feel but, perhaps it was a bad picture of the guy? Or, maybe he's got a fantastic personality that overcomes what you might now perceive as a not so handsome guy?

 

Was it a friend of yours that is fixing you up? If so, that was nice of him/her to do, so, I suggest maybe you can go with a positive attitude so that if by chance it DOESN'T work out, your friend would consider fixing you up with someone else, which won't happen if you have a bad attitude. In addition, although THIS guy you're going on the blind date with might not be suitable for you, maybe he'll think of a friend of his to fix you up with.

 

Let us know how it goes.

[tojaz]

 

For example, last night I met a guy at a bar. I was on the dance floor and I literally got knocked off my feet, up in the air by this idiot next to me and this guy caught me, literally! lol. So we started chatting a bit and my friend started "selling " me, very embaraessing. Up until this point though he had been dancing round my friend! Anyway, he asked to buy me a drink but I was already quite drunk and so I said no thanks as I had had enough already. He left.

 

Later we went up to the top bar VIP room and he was there, he started talking with me again, it was quieter up there and as we got talking it turns out he is the older brother of someone I used to know. Long story short, as this is getting long...he asked me out. The problem is this though..he also tried to get me to go home with him, kept asking me to go back for a drink. Like I said, I don't do that and to be honest, I don't want to date someone who does that either. I realise though that this means that I will probably always be single now as most people do do this! I cannot win, I cannot change the way I feel, I need to be with someone who shares my values, yet it seems I will not be able to.

 

In addition he has a son but did not marry the mother of his child because "it wasn't right" and yet he was with her for many years. This is a huge issue for me. I would not want to be treated by a man this way and I don't really feel I can date him knowing he treated another women like that and that he thinks that is OK. Am I being too harsh?

 

 

 

I am beginning to think I made a huge mistake in turning down the guy last weekend. It is so rare for me to get any attention from a man, let alone a man whom I find physically attractive. I had noticed this guy on the dance floor long before he caught me when I got knocked off my feet. Then of course he left and I ran into him again upstairs in a room which I did not have membership for and was only in there because whilst I was waiting for my friend to come out of the ladies room, I was chatting to one of the doormen (not trying to get in, just being friendly) and he asked if my friend and I would like to go up?

 

I don't know, it all seems like it was a bit fated and then on top of that my horoscope (yes go on laugh all of you, but this guys horoscope is so spookily accurate!), said that true love would soon enter my life this week. What if I sent it away?????????

 

 

Willow, the subject of sacrificing your values and the kind of person you'd like to find yourself with vs. the fear of being alone has been brought up here a couple of times now. Take a look at your two accounts of meeting this man a few days apart. They are very different aren't they? From "hes not for me" to "its fate"!

 

The only one can tell you which account is true is you, but we have instincts for a reason and your a smart girl. I would ask yourself if seeing him in this different light is less about him and more about your desire for a companion.

 

TOJAZ

[willowthewisp]

My difference in opinion is due to what my ex did I think. When I heard he didn't marry her my walls went up because my ex did that to me, in fact this could well be a different situation altogether. I know the child was not planned and perhaps he tried to do the right thing and stay with her and support her rather than as I first percieved it? Or, maybe he is a committment phobic with no values? The point being I will never know unless I go on a date with him.

 

I think I take dating too seriously and I think that comes from my desire not to cause others feeling of rejection and pain. It's almost like I have to be certain I will want to have a relationship with them before I even date them! Madness. So I have made the decision to chill the heck out. My friend ran into him last night and well, long story short, I am going out with him next weekend on a date. Yes, he asked me back for a drink but he also asked my friend as well and guys are guys, lets face it, a lot will ask, so long as he knows I won't and is willing to respect that, although obviously I hope he isn't just into one night stands. My friend explained my situation to him and told him I am cautious and have been hurt which is why I turned him down, and apparently he was very understanding and he called and asked me out, he told her "there is something I really like about her".

 

It's one afternoon. At least I will not always wonder.

 

In addition, I have another date with a guy I met last night (not the blind date, I was right about that, he was a really lovely guy but there was no physical attraction or spark between us and yes it'llget better, I went with an open mind and positive attitude to have fun and it was fun). I met this other guy whilst on this date in a club and was very discreet about getting his number so as not to be rude to my blind date. He is younger than me, but I find him attractive (VERY!) and we have been texting all day today, he seems nice. Again, it's one evening, one drink.

 

I just need to chill. Yes, I want a serious long term, dare I say marriage realtionship, but in the mean time I want to date and have fun and see, if I don't try, if I don't go then I will never find anyone and IF when I talk to him more and try and suss him out, the first guy turns out to be a player or a CP, I will not see him again.

[itllgetbetter]

Willow: when it rains it pours. Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself. But, I'm concerned that he asked your friend back to his place for a drink and has a date with you now lined up - but, it sounds like your date with him is in the afternoon, so, that might be an enjoyable afternoon out.

 

How much younger than you is the younger guy that you met at the club? I've heard through the grapevine (sorry male LS members) that men think recently divorced/separated women are VERY marketable for ONS's - so, just be careful, and, please don't be insulted by this last comment I made - it's something I heard from a recently divorced woman I know.

[willowthewisp]

Willow: when it rains it pours. Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself. But, I'm concerned that he asked your friend back to his place for a drink and has a date with you now lined up - but, it sounds like your date with him is in the afternoon, so, that might be an enjoyable afternoon out.

 

How much younger than you is the younger guy that you met at the club? I've heard through the grapevine (sorry male LS members) that men think recently divorced/separated women are VERY marketable for ONS's - so, just be careful, and, please don't be insulted by this last comment I made - it's something I heard from a recently divorced woman I know.

 

Perhaps I didn't explain properly, he asked myself and my friend back to his for a drink together the night I met him because his phone battery was dead and he didn't know his number by heart and said he could write it down at home for me if I liked. Instead I gave him my number and asked a bar tender for a pen and paper to write it down for him. He asked twice, but was not pushy.

 

The other guy is 10 years younger than me and he did not know I am "divorced", not that I was actually married, also I have been single for over two and half years now, so not recent. I waited until now to start dating as I wanted to be healthy and ready and at my best to give to someone else, noone deserves other peoples baggage and emotional c***!

[2.50 a gallon]

Willow

 

I had a very active social life, and used to go out to bars, dances, etc., hoping to meet somebody new.

 

But when looking back, the women who have been most significant in my life I met by other means, when I least expected it.

 

In my college days, the prof. assigned us to pay a visit to a local museum to view their latest temporary exhibition of old Native American articles. There I met a Swedish student who was only here for a year. We had dreams until the Vietnam war got in my way

 

My nurse friends, surprised me and introduced me to their head nurse who had just moved here. We almost got engaged

 

I met my Ex fiance while she was at work at a sporting goods store

 

I met my Ex at the aprtment that I lived when her younger brother introduced me to his much older sister.

 

I met my long time on again off again, almost married ExGF when I was out for a bike ride in a park. I was resting when she skated by and lost her balance. I know it is impolite to laugh, but the look of WTF on her face was just too funny. And it just so happened that I had couple of band aides in my wallet for her elbow and knee

 

I met another could have been while at the microfilm reader at the library. She had no experience with a reader

 

And my present GF at a convience store on the way home from work

 

Museum, sporting goods store, park, library, convience store who would have thought?

 

I hope this gives you some encouragement. Somehow love seems to find a way when we aren't looking

Edited September 19, 2011 by 2.50 a gallon

[trippi1432]

My difference in opinion is due to what my ex did I think. When I heard he didn't marry her my walls went up because my ex did that to me, in fact this could well be a different situation altogether. I know the child was not planned and perhaps he tried to do the right thing and stay with her and support her rather than as I first percieved it? Or, maybe he is a committment phobic with no values? The point being I will never know unless I go on a date with him.

 

I think I take dating too seriously and I think that comes from my desire not to cause others feeling of rejection and pain. It's almost like I have to be certain I will want to have a relationship with them before I even date them! Madness. So I have made the decision to chill the heck out.

 

I just need to chill. Yes, I want a serious long term, dare I say marriage realtionship, but in the mean time I want to date and have fun and see, if I don't try, if I don't go then I will never find anyone and IF when I talk to him more and try and suss him out, the first guy turns out to be a player or a CP, I will not see him again.

 

I see some very positive steps here Willow...in this "My difference in opinion is due to what my ex did I think.". To something that was stated previously...you have instincts, but you also have intuition....with that, you can suss out what this man or any man is about, based on your experience and your morals and values. When we walk around with our walls up due to the hurt that was put on us, we keep out any possibility. That's not something any one of us here do on purpose, it's a casualty of the war we fought to get over the hurt.

 

What you do need to keep in mind is that you owe no one anything...if you feel that it's not right, you do not owe it to anyone to stick around. Do what is right for you. Never feel obligated...we are all learning.

[Steadfast]

What you do need to keep in mind is that you owe no one anything...if you feel that it's not right, you do not owe it to anyone to stick around. Do what is right for you. Never feel obligated...we are all learning.

 

Great advice. I think we've all wondered...are we with someone because we really care, or because we're afraid of being alone?

 

Physical attraction can't be minimized, but it's respect that keeps it alive. Loving care and mutual respect sustains relationships. The ideal partner will bring out the best in us, the wrong person will have the opposite effect. The danger is burying your head in the sand and pretending everything is alright when attraction isn't supported by anything else.

 

We've all done that and paid the price. Mistakes are only worthwhile if we learn from them. Trippi is right; we must remain independent and strong.

 

Ultimately, that's the danger of seeking a relationship. Looking and seeing are two very different things. Actions speak louder.

Edited September 20, 2011 by Steadfast

[worlybear]

FWIW I think you're absolutely right, Willow. Like you I have really struggled to make sense of my "new" life.

I have met a new guy and he appears to be kind and caring-but despite all the positive attributes, in my heart of hearts I know he is not my ex (and if I could turn the clock back, I would.)

I enjoy his company and he is a good guy and we are slowly progressing the relationship- life moves on.....

But .I will, never,ever love anyone so completely and absolutely again.

28 years gone..

You're right, it doesn't get better- we just get better at disguising our feelings.

[Steadfast]

FWIW I think you're absolutely right, Willow. Like you I have really struggled to make sense of my "new" life.

 

I have met a new guy and he appears to be kind and caring-but despite all the positive attributes, in my heart of hearts I know he is not my ex (and if I could turn the clock back, I would.)

 

I enjoy his company and he is a good guy and we are slowly progressing the relationship- life moves on.....

 

But .I will, never,ever love anyone so completely and absolutely again.

28 years gone..

 

You're right, it doesn't get better- we just get better at disguising our feelings.

 

I certainly hope this was written in mood and doesn't represent your true feelings. If it does you have no business being in a relationship. IMO.

 

Look, I understand how you feel. I was truly and profoundly in love with my ex-wife. Do I still love her? Of course, but it's different. There's care mixed with history there, and we have children. It is not good for them to see hate between us, but I do not hide the hatred I feel for what she did and what it did to a family she promised to cherish and protect.

 

There is a line...and when that is crossed you stop being nice or understanding and move towards justification. How do we react when something bad happens in life? The only healthy thing we can do is learn from it and make the necessary changes to make sure it doesn't again.

 

Just because we don't like something doesn't mean we can't accept it.

 

If, by some magical power I could go back in time, I too would do it all over again. But not because of her. If I knew then what I know now the marriage wouldn't have lasted nearly as long as it did. When the pain and fog cleared and I looked at her without bias, I saw a person that I never, ever would have married. Despite all the good times and memories she was not a good wife. Now, as then, she excels at working her personal agenda. Honestly, we're all selfish at times but the difference is some of us realize it and others refuse to. I stopped, reset, and showed my appreciation. She did not. Instead, she kept in place a large, brutal looking hammer poised above my head. As long as I did what she wanted... but when she swung it down she did so with all the force she could muster. Then she did it again. Damage? Yes. But I lived.

 

My current frame of mind is a realization and acceptance that she simply was not as attracted to me as I was to her. I also realize that she lives and loves in the manner she learned. My family provided a solid, loving example while her family was a train wreck of cheating and abuse. I assumed she would see that and do anything to avoid it, but instead, she protected, embraced and made excuses for them and resented me. Often, what we want to happen and what actually does is very different.

 

I'll never love anyone like I loved my ex, and pray that I never do. This experience has taught me a valuable lesson about independence, self esteem and basing decisions on fact, not hope. My current relationship is far different than my marriage. I pay special attention to never compare her to my ex, and she seems follow that practice too. In all honesty, my GF has as many faults as my ex, but it's how she faces them that makes all the difference. She loves me and guards her heart. I do the same.

 

To allow my ex, my marriage and my past to influence the present would keep me imprisoned in the pain. I know it's a cliche', but that's no way to live. For most of us on the forum the decision to enter into this 'new life' wasn't one of choice. But, like anything else, it is what you make it.

 

How long must we pay for the mistakes of others?

[BrettLost]

Top post Steadfast. Lots of good points and observations.

[andyg99]

Just because we don't like something doesn't mean we can't accept it.

 

 

I hope everyone here reads and re-reads this sentence over and over...

[worlybear]

Yep you're right, Steadfast. I was very down the other night and had put on rose coloured specs.

The cold light of day brought clarity. The divorce is looming and I was having a "poor me," night.

Normal service now resumes.

[BrettLost]

Willow's thread title is concreted in my head. Pretty much sums up current existance.

[andyg99]

Willow's thread title is concreted in my head. Pretty much sums up current existance.

 

yeah, when it's still fresh (and that could be anywhere from 1 day to 2 years) it sure seems like it'll never get better. When we feel that way it's like we are just trying to stay afloat and get by every day. But TRUST ME ON THIS... IT DOES GET BETTER!!! You and everyone here needs to know that, a marriage breakup is one of the most painful things you'll ever go through but just like when I broke my leg I eventually healed... EVERYONE here will heal if they believe in themselves and they do the work...

[LifesontheUp]

EVERYONE here will heal if they believe in themselves and they do the work...

 

Yes ^^^absolutely.

[willowthewisp]

yeah, when it's still fresh (and that could be anywhere from 1 day to 2 years) it sure seems like it'll never get better. When we feel that way it's like we are just trying to stay afloat and get by every day. But TRUST ME ON THIS... IT DOES GET BETTER!!! You and everyone here needs to know that, a marriage breakup is one of the most painful things you'll ever go through but just like when I broke my leg I eventually healed... EVERYONE here will heal if they believe in themselves and they do the work...

 

If only this were true. Two and half years later, I've learnt to live with it but I will never "get over" it. Three dates in the last week and they just highlighted what was so special about mine and my ex's relationship, he should never have left me, what we had was rare and special and he threw it away with no regard for that, without a care and left me to deal with the fall out.

 

I'll never find what we had with someone else again, because it was unique, I was with him because of that uniqueness, because it was right, because we were right, agood fit for each other and he threw it away because he is a committment phobic. No other reason, just fear...what an absolte d**m waste and a life to live that will never measure up to what once was.

[andyg99]

If only this were true. Two and half years later, I've learnt to live with it but I will never "get over" it. Three dates in the last week and they just highlighted what was so special about mine and my ex's relationship, he should never have left me, what we had was rare and special and he threw it away with no regard for that, without a care and left me to deal with the fall out.

 

I'll never find what we had with someone else again, because it was unique, I was with him because of that uniqueness,

.

 

 

obviously he didn't feel it was as special as you did, for it to be truly special both parties have to feel the same way... 2 1/2 years is a long time, if you are comparing your dates to him that is not fair to them, maybe you should try to work on letting go (counseling?) before you get out there and date...

[trippi1432]

My difference in opinion is due to what my ex did I think.

 

I just need to chill. Yes, I want a serious long term, dare I say marriage realtionship, but in the mean time I want to date and have fun and see, if I don't try, if I don't go then I will never find anyone and IF when I talk to him more and try and suss him out, the first guy turns out to be a player or a CP, I will not see him again.

 

To allow my ex, my marriage and my past to influence the present would keep me imprisoned in the pain. I know it's a cliche', but that's no way to live. For most of us on the forum the decision to enter into this 'new life' wasn't one of choice. But, like anything else, it is what you make it.

 

How long must we pay for the mistakes of others?

 

I'll never find what we had with someone else again, because it was unique, I was with him because of that uniqueness, because it was right, because we were right, agood fit for each other and he threw it away because he is a committment phobic. No other reason, just fear...what an absolte d**m waste and a life to live that will never measure up to what once was.

 

We do remember some of the things we miss from our former relationships, the good things of course. And when your heart is open, we are open to experiencing that with someone new and attract that to our lives. I know you and I have talked personally about that before. You are doing the right things and not settling, turning that guy down based on your values, is doing what's right for you. In time, a person who respects you and values you will come along...and you will be ready for it.

 

Willow - the hardest thing in life is moving forward, moving through the disappointment, the hurt. I'm not sure the reasons that these dates brought up such a strong backslide to your ex after these 2 and a half years of healing; either bad dates or you still may not be ready to date due to unresolved feelings still for your ex.

 

What you did have with your ex was "unique", what was good was good, what was bad was bad. Those things will be there with anyone really. Not the same exact things, but there is not a single relationship that does not go through some challenge. It's how we handle those challenges, issues etc that make the relationship worthwhile or makes or breaks it.

 

When we go through the difficulty of moving through (not "getting over it") we find the difficult challenge of not glorifying the past...it's easy to glorify what we loved about our ex if we are still attached....in that, we tend to compare.

 

It's true, you won't find what you had with your ex with someone else..not if you are expecting a new guy to measure up to what you felt with the ex. No one will make you feel the same way at first, that takes time to get to know someone. Dating should be about experiencing friendship and companionship, not about replacing an ex or stand someone up in comparison. When we open up to the idea of dating as learning to grow, we stop comparing. No new person could be "better" or replace the person we loved, but yes, they can be different.

 

As our hearts heal, there is plenty of room to love again. It is limiting to think that our hearts are so small that we never can love again or that someone can't love us again. Dating can help you heal, help you completely let go as new experiences of friendship and caring people in your life in your present, in time, will help you let go of your past.

[willowthewisp]

obviously he didn't feel it was as special as you did, for it to be truly special both parties have to feel the same way... 2 1/2 years is a long time, if you are comparing your dates to him that is not fair to them, maybe you should try to work on letting go (counseling?) before you get out there and date...

 

I knew this is exactly the kind of response I would get here on LS about what I posted. As soon as someone says they miss what they had, all of a sudden they aren't ready to date, they need counselling, they are comparing their dates to their ex.

 

First, I wasn't comparing them to my ex, they were b****y awful because how would you like to listen to your date go on and on for 5 hours about their ex! I can tell you her inside leg measurement for goodness sakes!

 

Second, my ex had commitment issues, I have had counselling and we did have something special, he left due to his own issues not our relationship.

 

I'll write more later, have to go.

[willowthewisp]

What I was trying to say is that my ex threw away something that is rare due to his own problems, these were not problems about our relationship. Andy, what you said about him not thinking we had something special was incrediably hurtful and uncalled for and simply not true. No disrespect, but you do not know me or anything about what happened to me and what my ex did. I have had counselling, I no longer go because my counsellor felt that I worked through what I needed to and that I am helathy and more than ready for a new relationship. My counsellor helped me to see, after nearly 2 years of self blame, that IN FACT, I didn't miss anything, there was nothing wrong with my realtionship of nearly 2 decades with my ex and that problem, the reason he left without warning right after we booked our wedding (finally) was because he is a coward. he is unable to face up to himself and the committment issues he has as a result of his upbringing...it's soooooooooooo much easier to blame the other person right!

 

It took me along time to stop turning the anger inwards on me, the anger that sould have been directed at him. Often, relationships deterioate and both paries know there are problems, sometimes, however, there really is no problem with the realtionship.. Some people find this a hard concept to understand because, well lets face it, who wants to accept that someone can just up and leave without any real basis for that decision? Yep, it was hard for me to accept to, hence the self blame, but you know at the end of the day, accept it I have, what choice did I have? I could go on looking for the reason and trying to learn and grow from it for years, but I would be searching in the dark because there really was NOTHING, no reason, nothing to learn...other than not to stay with someone and buy their excuses for not getting married for 2 decades, wasting my life in the process and leaving me in dating pool that leads a lot to be desired!

 

I'm not comparing my dates to him, it was simply that I am having a hard time finding anyone and it made me miss the life I once had.

 

I would not take my ex back, not the one who did this to me and that, at the end of the day is who he really is, deep down. That does not mean that I do not miss what we had, because before he fled in fear we really did have something wonderful.

[andyg99]

comments in BOLD

 

What I was trying to say is that my ex threw away something that is rare due to his own problems, these were not problems about our relationship. Andy, what you said about him not thinking we had something special was incrediably hurtful and uncalled for and simply not true.

 

I apologize - I was not trying to hurt you but it is painfully obvious that after over 2 years you are still hurt over your relationship with him, I think you have accepted it's over but you sound like you are having trouble moving on... but you're right, I know nothing about your ex, the only fact I know is that you two broke up and you are very hurt still...

 

the reason he left without warning right after we booked our wedding (finally) was because he is a coward. he is unable to face up to himself and the committment issues he has as a result of his upbringing...it's soooooooooooo much easier to blame the other person right!

 

of course it is, when we do that we don't have to look in the mirror

 

other than not to stay with someone and buy their excuses for not getting married for 2 decades, wasting my life in the process and leaving me in dating pool that leads a lot to be desired!

 

as a guy it's not much better on this side either! but I've just gotten back into the swing of it myself... and I know there are many great ladies out there.

 

 

 

I would not take my ex back, not the one who did this to me and that, at the end of the day is who he really is, deep down. That does not mean that I do not miss what we had, because before he fled in fear we really did have something wonderful.

 

I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions with you - I didn't want to insult what you had... but from what I found out in this thread I think you are better off now, hopefully you will find that out sometime soon...

 

[trippi1432]

Look Willow...I know..okay? Just last week I stood in the parking lot at my company and asked myself where I was 3 years ago..I've known more compassion, love and caring here and without my ex than I knew in 15 years of my life now, I hate to admit that, but fact it fact.

 

That does not mean that I miss the "I" that I was....I do sometimes..but we become who we are..not by OUR choice, but what is forced upon us. The hardest thing is to go back to the person we used to know ourselves to be. You have such a long history at such an early age..just be who you are now...the person you have become after "Him"...and on a more serious note, because life is just life...

 

I would have called a cab in one hour...screw leg measurements!!

[Steadfast]

the reason he left without warning right after we booked our wedding (finally) was because he is a coward

 

With all due respect willow, that is one amazing counsellor! Not many can psychoanalyze a person they've never met. Just the same, whatever was needed to work past the self-blame was probably worth it. But like taking meds for an illness that long cleared, we all must recognize where we lack and work to continue towards a healthy balance. What other choice is there?

 

Truth is, most of us have far more questions than answers. Personally, throwing away a family and all the memories involved has not only been a tremendous challenge for me, but our children too. That may be why my ex loves to fire up the nostalgia train for another trip down memory lane. Every time I talk to my kids after they've seen their mother, it's a new story or another set of photos remembering 'what was'. This strikes me as odd...she couldn't wait to leave, now she can't stop talking about what she left. My expert analysis? Some people are never happy.

 

More than anything, grasping the reality of now is the most important thing. Like trippi said, all of us get emotionally caught up in the past from time to time. But allowing unhappiness to rule the present is allowing ourselves to remain victimized. Maybe it isn't fair, but that isn't attractive. It isn't attractive to me...and I suspect others feel the same.

 

Like you willow, I wouldn't take her back and also like you, I once deeply loved her. I still do...or at least, the memory of what was. Still I wonder...was it? Really? True love doesn't allow what happened to us, and if does, it creates an opportunity to reconcile. I had none of that. My reality (despite her issues) is that she wanted other men. Once I dealt with that reality, I was able to move on. Yes, it was a devastating personal blow, but lots of people don't want me. Can I live with that?

 

Yes.

 

I read recently that the door out is the door in to somewhere, or something else. No matter what, I enjoy being in the position to control my happiness. This freedom came at a very high emotional price. Making that a positive or a negative is up to us.

[2.50 a gallon]

Willow

 

It doesn't matter what sex you are, we all have our horror stories. Having to listen to them tell what a jerk their Ex was, and while you are listening, you come to the conclusion that put in his or her Ex's shoes you might do the same thing. It is never their fault, it was always all their Ex's fault

 

Another line I fell for several times: All men are A-holes only interested in one thing from a women. Aha says I, I will take my time and slowly let nature take it course, only to be dumped becasue I wasn't man enough to push the relationship toward the bedroom.

 

One gal I dated turned out to be a total clean freak, she would shower and change clothes a minimum of 3 times a day, was usually more. Every other week she spent Saturday morning totally cleaning out the interior of her car. Including removing the seats so she could remove and clean the bottom of the carpet.

 

Another gal, we had dated for a good 3 months, the last being totally exclusive, had a bug problem in her apartment. We spent a week getting her place ready to bomb, including setting up one of my fish tanks for her fish. Saturday morning I came by to pick her, her canary, and edibles to take to my place for the weekend. We set off several, definate overkill, and headed to my place. Later on that day at my place she started screaming from the bathroom, "You've got them too". Running to her rescue, with a can a bug spray in my hand and following her pointing finger asked where, "There, the pink and purple ones" We had just bombed her place for imaginary bombs.

 

A gal I worked with, also had a problem with guys, about once a year she would show up to work with black eyes and bruises from her latest boy friend beating the snot out of her. She was very attractive and had lots of offers from nice gys, but she wasn't interested in nice guys.

 

On average, it was about once a year that I met somebody special