polar_baby Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 There are some extremely messed up things going on in my relationship. My question is, do I stay or should I just go? My boyfriend and I have recently been having trouble. He has an ex girlfriend and they are "best friends". In the last two months we have been having big problems... I decided to pretend to be broken up to see what everyone would think about us being together. Well, it started a lot of trouble. He never saw me even though we were still together. We have broken up about three or four times in the month of April. Finally on April 19th I called his cell phone and the girl I mentioned answered his phone. She told me not to call his phone anymore because they are together. I started crying. My mom called back and he answered and my mom said what you don't have the balls to tell her yourself. He told her that he didn't know what she was talking about. She told him what was said and he got mad. I went to where everyone was at and his mother came out. She told me that we had been doing nothing but hurting each other for months. (I cheated on him in September, we had worked through it). She told me not to call him and if he called me I was to call her and let her know. We didn't talk for three days. I finally got online and said hi. He said hi back and we started talking. He said he missed me. We decided to get back together without anyone knowing. Well, now he is still always with the girl who told me they were together and his mother said they were together but I don't know because he swore that he isn't with her. I am so confused right now. I want him to stay away from her but his mother and her mother are best friends. I want to stay with him but I am tired of getting hurt. I am tired of being two twenty year olds having to sneak out to see each other. So after reading this feedback please of wether or not I should wait for things to cool down or should I just move on? Another thing is, His two sisters are trying to hook me up with his brother not knowing we are together. I wouldn't mind a bit going out with his brother but I don't know what I should do. I'm so confused it's not funny. I need major advice!!!! Thanks for your feedback. Link to post Share on other sites
Dulce_Angel_Whispers Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 Another thing is, His two sisters are trying to hook me up with his brother not knowing we are together. I wouldn't mind a bit going out with his brother but I don't know what I should do. I'm so confused it's not funny. I need major advice!!!! Thanks for your feedback. Oh my Gawd are you serious??? If you care about this guy how can you "not mind a bit" going out with his BROTHER that's sad!!! Sorry but if you can't work things out with this guy you should find someone else someone NOT related to him! Why do you date him in secret if you two are really old enough to be dating why should you hide it unless he really is with that other girl and keeps you on the side! My feedback is that you shouldn't be in a relationship that you two have to hide nor should you be in a relationship where either of you have cheated (because that shows lack of respect for yourselves and each other) and the biggest thing is you shouldn't be with him if you could ever even CONSIDER dating his brother! They both need to keep their distance from you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author polar_baby Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 I guess I should have thought about that before I said it the way I did. I met him and his brother one week apart. Before we started dating. I liked his brother more. I have always liked his brother. I cheated when I was ignored. Also, he is a major mama's boy. He does what he is told. He is going to be 21 in october and he still gets GROUNDED. She has kicked him out of the house and left him without a car. All this because I quit my job. They have the same father a different mother. But see, like I said I like the older brother more the whole time. I almost cheated on him with his older brother. I know it doesn't sound right. I love this man to death we have been together for two years. But I am just lost on what to do about the other girl and where she stands in the picture. I want to break up with him because of her but if there was never really anything there I don't want to miss out on the possible love of my life because I didn't believe him. Sorry about the confusion with the brother situation. Hopefully I cleared it up enough. By the way. I never did anything with his brother. Had the chance but didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Dulce_Angel_Whispers Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 I'm sorry to sound rude but how can you "love" him and "like his brother more" I just don't get that. If you really loved this guy you wouldn't be looking at his brother in that sense! I say do both of you a favor and break up with him but I must agree it's sad that Mom still Grounds him if he is 2o!!!!!! How pathetic! Link to post Share on other sites
Author polar_baby Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 ok here we go... I am going to start refering to my boyfriend as J and his brother as A. A lives 7-8 hours away. i never had the problem of having to choose because he lived so far away. What I meant was that the last time I saw A i liked him more. I saw him last about a year and a half ago. About 4-5 months into our relationship. i was not in love with J at the time. I did fall in love with him. Since I have actually loved J I have not seen A. their sisters think me and A would make a much better couple than me and J. I do love J with all of my heart. But I think he may be lying to and cheating on me. I want to break up with him but then I don't. Then there is A who is being talked up to me by the sisters. they are telling me how great of a guy he is. I told you in the begining of this that it is a VERY messed up very strange situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Dulce_Angel_Whispers Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 Ok I see at first I thought they lived like right there near each other and that while being with J you were "making eyes at" A. Do you hang around his house a lot and if so is it because you are buds w/ his sisters or.....? You mentioned his Mom said she wanted you 2 to stay away from each other so therefor the family knew you 2 were dating right? Doesn't it seem weird that after you being w/ J for 2 years that his sisters would try and talk you into hooking up w/ A?? To me that seems odd! But I think he may be lying to and cheating on me. I want to break up with him but then I don't. I can see how it would seem this way especially since he had her answer his cell phone and she said they were together! Why would he let her answer and say that if they really weren't together! He is probably telling her one thing and you something else! Have you asked his sisters if he's seeing anyone.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author polar_baby Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 His sisters also live in another state... we live in indiana with his mom and dad his sisters and brother live in southern illinois. J is half brothers with all of them while they are all full brother and sisters. connected by father. the only person who knows whats going on for sure is J. he has told me that they are not together while his mother and the other girl keep saying they are together. he told me that the other girl is making his mom think this even though him and her know its not true. This is why it's so confusing. very hard to understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Dulce_Angel_Whispers Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 Indiana too? Hahaha there seem to be a lot of us Indiana people on this site... anyway I see, well if his Mom didn't want you together with him (since she seems to be a tad controlling) maybe that's why she's saying that or maybe she sees that he is really with that girl so maybe she's trying to tell you the truth! It would be confusing, I'm thinking that with all your heart you want to believe J but if his Mom and her are saying that he's with her who are you to believe? Do you get to see him often or is he distant? I would be curious and start being my own detective if I were you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author polar_baby Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 He has been very distant since the "pretend break up". I only see him late at night when he can sneak out. I am just so tired of all of this that's going on I am starting to think that I should break up with him and trust the old saying, "let it go if it comes back it's yours if it doesn't it was never meant to be". I am just tired of the heartache. And the confusion. I think I may try it with A and see where things go. Their sisters know them and they know me pretty well. They think me and A would make the perfect couple. Thanks for your help hun others' opinions are still welcome. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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