Infusion Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 A while ago my girlfriend and I were talking and suddenly we talked about how we each view cheating as right or wrong. My girlfriend then told me that she doesn't believe that cheating is wrong, so long as your feelings for your significant other is still there. She also added that as long as she tells me that she's cheating (telling me before she cheats), it's all right. To make matters less complicated, she's a person that never lies to me, and we can talk about anything without any barriers- we don't have a problem with trust in our relationship. Granted, she's entitled to her own view on cheating, but to me, cheating is just that... cheating. When someone cheats, they keep it away from their bf/gf, but in her case, she said she'll let me know if it ever happens. I do not undertand precisely what the meaning of her words are... By the way, we are in a decent relationship and I cannot see this happening any time soon. But can someone please help me understand what it all means? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
End of my rope Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Just because she doesn't view cheating...as well...cheating doesn't mean you can't. Do you think it's wrong? Have you told her how you would feel if she cheated on you, regardless if she told you before or after the act? Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 I don't know is she into swinging? Ask her how she would feel if you cheated on her. Link to post Share on other sites
no one Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 None of mine thought it matters... Where is the respect? It boils down to something you have to ask for. lots O luck Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Personally I don't see that cheating within the boundaries of a relationship can work, even cheating that you are open about. For me it means you are opening yourself up to the possibility of an emotional attachment to someone outside the relationship. For me it carries the possibility that you stop working on making your relationship stronger. What if you have a slight sexual issue with your partner? Nothing major, just things you would like to do or experiment with and haven't discussed. You cheat with someone and you have great sex. Instead of trying to improve your sex life with your partner, you figure, well I'll just screw around with this guy/girl because I know the sex there is great. Bye-bye relationship. If you don't feel the same way as she does on something as fundamental as this then I can't see how your relationship can work for very long, because it sounds to me like she's telling you that one day, tomorrow, next week, next year, whatever, she is going to have sex outside of your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Ask her directly if this means she is likely to cheat on you. Anyone has its personal views on cheating (hers is more personal than others), but you have to consider the other person's feeling when you are in a relatioship! Cheating is not like putting tomato sauce or maionnayse on your french fries... even if she feels it's okay for her to cheat on you as long as she is honest about it, she must take into account that she will hurt you!!!! Ask her directly if she is willing NOT to cheat on you. Let her know that cheating is a deal breaker to you, unless you are interested in an open relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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