muoshoo Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Hello! This is my first time using this website, but I googled my boyfriend won't marry me and came to this website. I am 32 and I am hopeless, but strong willed. To brief it all up, I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 years now and we have 3 children together, the problem with our relationship is I want marriage and he doesn't. Out of many attempts at trying to figuring out why he won't marry me (mind you in my past relationships..when I was a teenager, I was suppose to get married and the guy left me. When I was a young adult, I left my baby's father whom I was engaged to because I had no more attraction to him. The 3rd serious relationship, I could never get the guy to marry me plus he was abusive so I left him. Then I have this guy.....and now I do not know why I am going through this again. I mean I obviously got to be the problem, but I guess I have this nagging mouth that guys can't stand, but they don't realize I have been hurt alot in my past and this is the only way I know how to vent. I just seem to attract the same type of guy. Now I am just so frustrated because this is what I want and every time he turns me down I just have a nervous breakdown..I mean being in my 30s and waiting for this ? is exhausting. I basically just give up, but I am just hopeful. His lame excuses were..he did not want to pay child support on my first child, but I explained to him that there is spousal relief in tax time. Then I figured out that he did not want us to end up like his dad, where his mom left his dad with 4 children to raise on his own. Then I also noticed that all he does is sleep, complain about work, be at work. I think he is depressed, but I do not know anymore. I am just waiting...what does everyone else think? I would appreciate any response...thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author muoshoo Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 Yeah....thanks for the feed back...its a little late for that...but I can see where your getting at...the reason why i move so fast is because I am just looking for love to feel the empty love i had lost from losing a family member and i have that fear of death..that i wont get to complete all these things before it is my time.....but thanks for bringing me to reality.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Why is being married so important to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author muoshoo Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 Marriage is important to me because this is what I wanted since I was a little girl and I feel more grounded being wanted and tied to that special one. I am 32...isnt it about time it was my turn...I mean these are milestones in life... and @ tamerstand from russia: I do not know what you wrote...is there some way you can translate into English? Is there someone here that can translate, I do not even know what language that is Thanks.... Link to post Share on other sites
TBH Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Marriage is important to me because this is what I wanted since I was a little girl and I feel more grounded being wanted and tied to that special one. I am 32...isnt it about time it was my turn...I mean these are milestones in life... and @ tamerstand from russia: I do not know what you wrote...is there some way you can translate into English? Is there someone here that can translate, I do not even know what language that is Thanks.... some people just dont want to be married. you said that you want to be to fill the void left by a deceased family member. you need to sek councelling/therapy to relieve this problem instead of expecting other people to fill it for you, as this will not work. one of your comments troubled me also, you said one of your exes you left because he wouldnt marry you, and that he was abusive. it sounds like you would have accepted an abusive relationship if he HAD married you. marriage is not the solution to your problems. needing to be married for the sake of it is not the right reason to get married. you need to address your own issues. your 'void' and also your desperate need to be married in itself. just to add, the post by tamerstand is a spam post, it is not a reply to your post specifically. Link to post Share on other sites
Author muoshoo Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Thank you so much for your advice..this has been a real eye opener. I have been pushing marriage on people so long when I should have been talking to a counselor to fill the void.....I really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
TBH Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Thank you so much for your advice..this has been a real eye opener. I have been pushing marriage on people so long when I should have been talking to a counselor to fill the void.....I really appreciate it. you would not believe how much therapy can help you. I for years carried around so much baggage that i truely believed it was just how i was. i've only recently been through therapy and I cant tell you how much better i feel. stronger, and able to tackle whatever life throws at me being confident in life regardless of if we have a partner or children or marriage is truely the most important thing. i wish you the best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author muoshoo Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 I never told anyone in my family or friends how I feel. I feel that a burden has been lifted off my shoulders with your simple advice. I will definitely try therapy. Have a good one! Link to post Share on other sites
TBH Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I never told anyone in my family or friends how I feel. I feel that a burden has been lifted off my shoulders with your simple advice. I will definitely try therapy. Have a good one! i'm glad for you just one more thing, therapy is very much about finding the right therapist. i think you just get a good vibe off the right person. if it doesnt seem to fit well with you, try someone else. help is out there for you Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Um, you could maybe wait until they marry you before having kids with them. :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
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