Does she mean it?

[ConfoosedOne]

Alright, so this may take a while for you to understand so please bear with me.

 

There is this girl in my life. I've known her since around 6th grade and since the day I saw her I felt something odd - something like a candle that just lit up - inside me. In 7th grade, I befriended her, and we initiated a spectacular friendship. Things seemed to be quite normal and bliss, and then one day, I learned that she had a crush on me. On a band rehearsal day, she sneaked up behind me and slowly gave me a hug from behind. A few days later I asked her out, and she said yes. It did not last long. A day later, while I was texting her, her dad walked in. When I say this I mean it: HER DAD DOES NOT LET HER DATE, EVEN TO THIS DAY. He found out about her relationship with me and told her there would be serious consequences, SO she broke up with me that same day. We stayed friends for the time being, but I never stopped feeling for her. In the 9th grade, we hit it off again, and on November 29, I asked her out. I absolutely loved her, and I loved the time we managed to spend together (kinda hard to sneak behind her dad's back). I had never felt this way about a girl, and I have gone out with my fair share of girls. I felt like I was in heaven. Then about 3 months into the relationship, she broke up with me. BOOM. Just like that. I kinda saw it coming, but it still left me devastated for a couple weeks. She said I didn't know the meaning of love, but I beg to differ. We spent a couple months without talking or even looking at each other. Then, in May, we suddenly began talking again. One Friday night, she told me she had made a mistake by breaking up with me, and told me the actual reason she broke up with me was because I had told her I would hurt myself if we ever broke up, and that frightened her. On May 9, 2011, we went out AGAIN. However, this time, I was more wary and on-the-lookout for signs of infidelity and lies. I overdid it by a longshot. I would become jealous whenever she hugged a guy, or whenever she talked to her friend XX (personal friend of mine as well) more than she talked to me. Before she left to for vacation, her dad confiscated her phone and I had no idea. I texted a lovey dovey goodnight message and HE READ IT! I did not hear from her at all while she was away. When I saw her again, she seemed very upset and extremely distant. I feared the worst. That evening, she broke up with me once again. Apparently, her dad had found out about me and was furious, and he told her that he wanted her to focus her attention on improving her performance in school and not on boys (this is her talking by the way). She said she would try to defy him again and go out with me senior year, but the chances seemed slim. I told her I understood and believed her (I didn't actually believe her) and it was the end of that. Once more, I spent a length of time without talking to her. Then, during the week of my birthday, she started flirting with me, and that shocked the living wits outta me. My really good friend yyyy (she's like an older sister to me) told me not to fall for it, and that she was leading me on. I wasn't sure if she was right, so I told her one day that I thought her break-up excuse was a bunch of lies and all she needed me for was to be a "reserve" boyfriend (but I said it in the nicest way possible). She started to cry, and cry...and cry...and CRY. She told me that what she said is completely wrong, and that her dad really does need her to focus on school, because she scored a 1 on her FCAT. She said she truly does love me, and that she really does wanna be with me, more than anything. This was a week before school started. School began yesterday. She looked all dolled up and absolutely gorgeous. My heart began to flutter again. But, she acts strange around me. She acts as if she doesn't love me, as if we were only friends, maybe something less. The texting between me and her stopped. I'm really confused as to what could have gotten into her. I don't know whether to ask her out or not. She isn't giving me any signs. HELP!!!!

Edited October 21, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed personally identifying info

[laya]

i guess ur friend ,she is right!! try to move on!! iv been through this and mt firends told me that she fools around,it seems the girl u love she just love attention ,so its either you control your feelings which is very hard cause you wont move on easily or dont communicate to her at all try to avoid the places she goes to ,delete all her msgs dont talk to her this will take time but evantually you will move on!!! she is treating you as a doll dude!!! good luck

ps : be with someone who shows you the same interest as u are showing

Edited October 21, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed reference to name

[ConfoosedOne]

Alright yeah you might be on to something. But believe it or not, I didn't brief you enough. In school, like the gentleman that I normally am, I walked her to class (as a friend of course). On the way to her class, we managed to speak tidbits about our schedules, what time our lunches are, etc. However, she did not make ANY eye contact whatsoever. I gave her a hug and left.

[Take_everything]

Hey, as a girl with an overbearing father I say you should just believe her. If her family is forbidding her from dating, going out with you will be a huge source of stress. Also, you two sound young, perhaps she is not ready for the reality of a relationship. I think the ideal outcome would be for you to remain friends (it gets easier the more you talk). No pressure, it certainly sounds like she has some pretty strong feeling for you so you two will come together naturally when the time is right.

[ConfoosedOne]

Very insightful, indeed. But it's still strikes me as odd that she's acting so distant now. Yeah, we still talk, but a week ago she told me how she felt about me and now it's like she completely forgot. She assured me she wasn't drunk or anything.