just venting...

[shellen]

ive jus returned from a holiday and I'm feeling kind of miserable..

I dunno quite what to do to ease this feeling. A good cry will be good to let it out but I just dun feel like crying....so I turn to good ole loveshack again...

 

I had lotsa fun while I was away but I still think of him and missed him...

I did not inform him that I left the country as he was also away.

He did inform me at the last minute that he was going for a holiday and it took me by surprise because he never mentioned the slightest thing abt it to me though we were in regular contact the few weeks just before he left.

I was quite upset by it coz the thought that he may be going with his current gf really hurts me and yes I admit I am jealous. I've always hoped to go for a vacation together with him but never got to do it during the two years together, so it really affects me that they are doing it.

 

And I'm reallie disappointed that he did not really try to contact me after he was back. I mean he just left two msges one asking me if I was online and another just before I landed telling me his mobile is dead and asking me where I was. No news from me for a week which is rare and he did not even bother calling me? Its kind of strange coz we were contacting reguarly just before he left. I know I should not expect anything from him but still I feel disappointed. And what a coincidence his mobile is dead the day I got back home. So I cannot even contact him now. I dunno if this is a good or bad thing. But maybe if i can get hold of him I wun feel so frustrated like now. argghhh...

 

And I also did not get any interviews for my job applications which is making me feel more down. like no aspect in my life is going on well. I really dunno how to dissipate this misery im feeling now. and Im reallie angry at myself for still feeling this way about him. But I cant help it. Even when i try to think about other things I know the achy feeling is still there. think im a hopless case.....

[kgal]

Man..Shellen....I know how u must feel. I mean...we have sortof a similar case here.....although...I think you have dated this man longer than I dated my ex....but love is love. I understand that "achy" feeling all too well......and right now it's been hard for me as well.

 

First of all......I think it's great that you got out and went away for alittle while....I mean...that had to have helped a bit.... The fact you're back to thinking about him..."Why hasn't he contacted me...." and so forth....probably isn't the right way to think right now. I mean....who cares....really...haha....he's a jerk! The guy is such a jerk....and you know you need better. I mean....why waste valuable time spent on HIM!?! Haha.

 

I know how u feel....I'm there too....I'm actually telling myself this advice as I write it down to you. It's making me feel better......who needs the jerk!?!

 

Ugh....It's just....don't you ever get SO SICK of having your mind being filled with those painful thoughts of your ex? I hate it.... I'm starting to get so sick and tired of thinking about my ex. Really...it's not worth it...and now I feel like I just waste precious time and brain cells whenever I start to feel down or confused over why in the world it's not working for me.

 

I mean...I hope after I post this message I can fight off the depression of thinking about how much I miss him and really really want to see him again. But UGH>>> it's SO not worth it!

 

Look....Shellen...you've got a LOT of WONDERFUL things to look forward to.... and even though, now...it's kind of hard to have faith.... you have to!!!! :) I'm with you on this...... I mean...we can do this together!!!!!!! LOL!

Don't worry today....please try not to....and just take it slow.

 

Do something fun today...and pamper yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself...that YOU DESERVE AND WILL HAVE BETTER! I'm serious!

What a jerk...to treat you that way and make you suffer the way you have. It's not fair to you...and you have to get on...move on. I will try too!

 

God Bless!