He's being distant to me and I cant take it!

[Hurtingfeelings]

I met this guy online earlier in the summer in a chatroom, and as the months went on we started to get somewhat close, at least in my opinion. Its hard to tell for me if he was into me or just a genuinely nice person. more talking one on one in private chat rather than public, and exchanged emails. Almost everyday we'd email each other about our days and things in our life, etc. He's in a different country, but we still texted. He was very decent in all his talk, no flirtyness and nothing suggestive. But he was sweet.

 

An incident happened in the chatroom in which one of the ppl in the room wanted my facebook. I told him I didnt want to share it, but I could make a fake account and add him. So I did. When I added him, I noticed another chatroom members name and asked if that was that person. He said that he had several ppl added on his facebook, and he mentioned the guy that I have been talking with. He then linked me his profile. I said, hmm do you think I should message him? Let's see if he figures out its me.

 

I messaged him a 'Hi" and he replied, who is this. I said Add me first! and he said No i want an answer. When he wrote that, knowing him, I thought oh no he's going to think I'm his ex contacting him or something. So I stopped. But I didnt realize that the guy that I had added was messing with him in the chatroom when I wasnt around.

 

Later that night I got a text at almost 3am from 'my guy' saying essentially to get on. He had found out that his ex was going out of town and was having a party, so he wanted to drink and spend time with his online friends to support him. Although I wasnt supposed to be on so late, I did because I felt needed.

 

When I get on, he says "I am so glad that youre on." He had never really said anything to me that showed that he cared for me specifically. Anyway, as the night goes on I figured Id let him know that the fake person who messaged him was me, so I told him. He then goes WTF, gets upset, and says I cant trust you guys. I thought he was joking because hes a jokester in a way, but then he gets quiet and doesnt talk much. He then leaves without telling me gnite (which he always did).

 

I didnt feel right, so I texted him asking if he was alrite. He didnt respond to me. The next morning I CALLED him (even tho hes in a diff country) asking how hes doing and seeing how hes doing after last night. He never mentioned to me my voicemail that I left him.

 

Since then the texting has stopped and no emails. In the chat, he wasnt responding to me, almost feeling like im ignored, not laughing to what i say, etc, and paying more attention almost to a different girl in the chat. I asked him if he was upset with me, and after a long pause he says that he thought the whole facebook thing was lame. He then goes on to say I dont mind pranks in the chatroom, but not when it gets to real life. He said there was a difference between "trust" and TRUST. And he said it just made him realize that this is just the internet. Then he said its no big deal.

 

But he hasnt been talking to me the way before, and everytime I go into that chat I feel so ignored by him, no more private messages from him, etc. Ive tried being normal with him, sharing music, etc but hes not attentive to me it seems.

 

I dont know why I care so much about an online person. And I wish it didnt hurt so much, I cant believe it. And whats worse is that I see him being distant to me in the chat, yet all of a sudden so attentive to others. Its also unfair that Im not the one who shared his facebook with others, its not like ive told anyone what his phone number is or his email, nor have I told ppl i know it.

 

Is there anyway to get his trust back? Am I looking way into this more than I should? Its been bothering me SO much for days and I cant believe im crying. I miss talking to him like normal, and its so sad to look at the phone and not see any texts, or to check my email and see "no new messages."

 

hurting =/

[Emilia]

I stopped reading at one point, your situation is really unhealthy. Online relationships are really unhealthy in my opinion because it's about projection of your own thoughts and feelings on someone you have never met.

 

He is right, this is only internet based and people can abuse and misuse it. I think he realised this false intimacy has gone too far, has intruded on his life too.

 

I think you should snap yourself out of it and seek real life friendships and relationships