AHardDaysNight Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I am incredibly socially awkward, and I think it makes people nervous around me. When I am not anxious, I am a social butterfly...however, the social anxiety seems to destroy any chances I have at normal friendships and relationships. How would you react to someone who didn't make a lot of eye contact, who acted shy, and whose voice shook a lot in your presence? Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 empathetic. I have a younger cousin who I view sort of as the little brother I never had. He's very awkward socially, but I've always had his back throughout the years, when everyone else in my family kind of just... avoids him at family gatherings. In general, I have a higher tolerance for socially awkward/"tougher to love" folks. Someone once told me I get along well with most personality types. Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I would try my best to make them feel welcome and at ease, maybe find somethiung they're interested in and chat about that. I understand a lot of people are intolerant and haven't got the inclination to befriend "hard work", but in my experience the person underneath can be deep and interesting, you just have to scratch beneath the surface...sheme more people won't do that, especially in this day and age where everything is done fast and technology is at the forefront of a lot of social interaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 I mean no disregard , yet I do not fair well with the socially awkward. My co worker is extremely pecular and odd to the level of being a mental case most days. Her thinking spirals onto tangents that are not for the intellectual or socially raised. Now if you ask , can I endure and establish good rapport with a shy, introvert or someone who has some behavioral challenges caused thru an illness of no fault of their own, then that is okay..... I just think people have a different interpretation of what socially "odd" is.....I personally like the "on the edge" style of person who thinks futuristic or dreams big, but that is way different then the outlandishly bizzarre...with the lost in space glaze to them....again its how things are interpreted... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I feel bad for them, and try my best to make them feel comfortable by including them in the conversation. I suppose it's a natural "mama" instinct to want everyone to feel included or happy Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I cant be bothered. IF the socially awkward doesnt do the mental work to make themselves normal and function normally like everyone else does, I walk the other way. Kinda like people who have perpetual halitosis. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I'm a total hypocrite on this subject, because I myself used to be quite socially awkward as a teenager. So you would think I would have empathy for socially-awkward people, but like the previous poster, I tend to avoid them. Why? I guess because I can, but also because (again hypocritically) associating with them lowers my social standing. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 It's tough, but I have a very hard time dealing with socially awkward people and honestly try to avoid them as much as I can. I feel bad saying that, but maybe it's because I have a couple IRL people in mind who are socially awkward and they both drive me up the wall and creep me out. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 just leave happy life Are you telling him to commit suicide? Maybe a moderator should look into this guy's profile if he's going to dispense this type of advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AHardDaysNight Posted August 25, 2011 Author Share Posted August 25, 2011 I'm not going to commit suicide over a couple of random posts from a troll on an obscure message forum! I have too much to look forward to. But anyway, like I said, I'm getting less socially awkward, and it IS tied to anxiety. So it's not like I have no social skills at all. But it is frustrating having people react the way they do, when I know in my heart (and people close to me have told me so) that I am a completely different person when not in a stressful situation. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I'm empathic, as long as the social awkwardness isn't in a hostile, misanthropic vein. I'm a somewhat shy person myself, so I understand the anxiety behind it and don't find anything weird about it. But...I will say that it can be very hard to get to know these people in any real way, so that you get beyond the surface. Both people have to be willing to open up for that to happen. I do understand the anxiety, but I think there's a point at which the socially awkward person has to be willing to just experience the anxiety, acknowledge it, and yet ride it out rather than avoid it...that's the desensitization I talked about in another thread of yours a while back, OP. I'm not saying it's easy, by any stretch - but it really is the only way to make emotional connections with people. Some people won't respond well to awkwardness, and that's a fact. But there are people who feel kindly toward others' awkwardness;there really are. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I feel for someone like that. Because of my rough childhood I had some social anxiety and would blush pretty quickly. There had been a lot of things I didn't risk socially because of my worry about blushing and being mocked for it. But when I took Prozac after my breakup for depression/anxiety, I started to notice that ALL social butterflies had gone. ALL. I learned so much about the nature of chemistry and emotions that I will never feel socially nervous again, even if I don't take medication. Link to post Share on other sites
FeelingSmall Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I'm definitely on the empathetic side of the fence. Usually I befriend these people. I was (and mildly still am) one of them. I used to get panick attacks going into a group of people larger than 2. I'm getting better, but alas, it still plagues me from time to time. Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I'm shy to an extent, so I feel complete sympathy and try to draw them out, if they are female. Males I tend to leave to themselves, just because they tend to get "ideas' if you try to talk to them too much. Link to post Share on other sites
MySoulRunsFree Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Maybe you should talk to someone about it. I have mixed feelings about socially awkward behavior depending on the person. what you describe seems like the lulls of depression which is not uncommon at all. Outside of depression, some people are purposefully socially awkward which annoys me and I'm sure others as well and some people are just naturally like that. If you are not doing it on purpose and your not depressed you may just be struggling with your confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 Empathetic. Definitely. Working in the customer service industry, my job is to try and get people to talk. I'm always running into people who are socially awkward, or just very shy. I always feel like I have to 'protect' them in a sense. I try to help them open up and feel less anxious. In my experience, after getting socially awkward people to open up and trust you, they are extremely clingy. That's just my experience, not trying to imply that's how you are. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 I (1) wish they would talk to me so I could help make them at ease and (2) wish I had the nerve to go up to them so I could help make them at ease. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 I have social anxiety, but if someone appears more nervous than me I try to be chatty and put them at their ease, it can be a bit difficult if someone doesn't say much-it can make me feel more awkward, but if they make some effort to talk to me too then it's fine. It can help if you ask the other person questions and put the focus on them more than yourself and it shows an interest in them as well. The more I've made the effort to talk to people the more confident I've become. I find shy people appealing, much more so than very confident or loud people. My partner is socially awkward as well I am incredibly socially awkward, and I think it makes people nervous around me. When I am not anxious, I am a social butterfly...however, the social anxiety seems to destroy any chances I have at normal friendships and relationships. How would you react to someone who didn't make a lot of eye contact, who acted shy, and whose voice shook a lot in your presence? Link to post Share on other sites
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