Mother Passed and she feels Im wrong.

[Hurting_Bad]

Mother Passed and she feels Im wrong.

 

 

This is about the only friend I have a good friend I thought, my family is not around

 

Let me give you a little history, my mom has been sick for about 3 months, she has been in and out of hospitals. While as of Friday I started to have these weird feelings, scarred actually, did not know why I was having these feelings then, my friends car was broke down, so I had went and meet AAA towing there and had her car towed so it could be fixed, she needed my truck to get around, so she said she was going to head home and would return, she left my house at 8:00pm well I finished working on a project for work, about 10:00 pm I started having strange feelings and felt really tired, so I went and laid down, about 12:00am I woke and noticed that my friend had not returned and about 30 minutes later she text message me back saying read E-mail, I was so tired I said whatever, so fell back to sleep, about 2:00am I woke and she still had not returned, she said oh you ready, I said ready for what, the three of us are going to Casino, I could barely move so tired, I dropped the phone, and I text message her and told her alot wrong with truck do not take, but I feel right back to sleep.

 

I woke at 6:00am and she had not returned, she said I will be there I am right down the street, she did and I just started crying when she walked in, (in my anger I shut off her cell phone) just in shocked me she would do this again she has done before, but she knew I had to go to the hospital every morning to see my mom. I stop to get something for my mom and my truck would not start, I called looking for her, but she was no where to be found, I left a meassge, so I did not get to see my mom, this AM. They do not allow visiting between 7:00-8:30, so I went home and fell back a sleep, when I woke I was so upset at my friend, I called her and she said the truck was running fine when she brought it back, I was so mad, I drove to her house, I forgot my money and wallet did not have enough gas was stuck, she would not answer the phone nor would she open the door, I was so hurt, had enough I was going through. Well I went and spent lots of time with mom, and on Sunday the drs had called me asking me to think about some disscussions with my mom, so I called my friend and she again did not answer, she did text message me, so I tried to tell her what I was going through, but she began to tell me how she was on her way to MM to have fun with (family which she had not seen in 15 years) in anger, I typed some pretty mean things and I guess her daughter read them and now never wants to see her mom again, I feel really bad for doing that, but after I typed the first thing, why would you let your daughter read, if it been me, I would of shut my phone off, but I was so wrong for doing that.

 

Well it is Monday now and I was with my mom until she passed away I have never felt pain like this, the hospital called my friend and I talked to her, her car was still broken down, she said I wish I could be there for you, be careful and drive here and call me when outside, I did I switched sides so she could drive me home and when she came out, she did not comfort me in the least, instead she started about how I ruined her day yesterday and how I am killing her, because of the way I act, I can not describe to anyone who has not been through this the pain and hurt you feel, but it is hard to explain, one minute angry and next minute, happy to know she is not suffering. So I got really mad and just left my truck and started walking and I walked for two hours, when I came back and knocked on the door, her sister in law, yelled out she wants nothing to do with you live weirdo, I never felt so empty as I did right now, I had just lost my mom and my only friend turned her back on me. As you can tell from the rest of the story I spent last night all alone with no one to talk to, Please read the e-mail she sent me below.

 

(A friend but you f_____ it up for me with my kid and I will never be the same again because of it. How could you distroy that for me? And yet I let u come over just so I could console you breifly_ and because I didnt jump in the truck and race to your trailer where you could torture me and id be stranded._ FRIEND MY ASS you were trying to control my intire life and you did for along time now i put my foot down and im the bad guy im afraid not sister u will not put this off on me)

 

Please tell me is this a friend or am I just insane. Please can anyone tell me what friendship means, because maybe I did ask to much, is to be there no matter what, if you called at 3:00 I would jump out of bed and be there, if you needed money I would not buy my self something just to help you out, I did these things, but when I asked she said I will never do what you do.

_

[HokeyReligions]

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could reach through the PC and give you a hug and fix you a cup of tea and hand you tissues while you cry.

 

Your friend doesn't sound like much of a friend at all. I'm so sorry that she let you down and that you have no one close to you to comfort you. Is there a church near you where you can go and talk to someone? A minister or rabbi or someone who can just hold your hand and pray with you or listen to you and hand you a tissue? Find someone--you don't need to go through all of this alone. Call the hospital and ask them for someone you can call for grief counseling. The hospital chaplain may be able to help.

 

If you can't get out right this minute, visit this website: http://www.beyondindigo.com/

This is a grief site and it is very helpful and there are message boards there too.

 

I am so sorry.

No matter what your past is with your so-called friend, a true friend would never put herself first at a time like this or show anger at you. You need to make some new friends, some real friends. You will in time, but right now talk to someone to help you with your grief. You said your family is not around -- is there someone in your family that you can go to? Or can someone come and stay with you for a few days? Call your family and talk to them. Ask them for some emotional support and just tell them that you need to hear a friendly voice right now.

 

Cyber-hugs to you. I wish we could sit down and talk.