thatone Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 to get rid of it quickly probably 10-15%. it's in a nice neighborhood and there are a lot of university/state employees around (there's a university hospital a few blocks away) so prices here aren't down much. and considering i can use the losses, tax wise, it makes a lot of sense the more i look at it. Link to post Share on other sites
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 (edited) plus if i move closer to her i can get a nice condo in amongst all of the places she likes to go downtown for about half of what i'm paying for my house, and her temptation to give up that independence she's hanging on to will be overwhelming. Why exactly would you want her to give up her 'independence'? Isn't it her independence something that initially attracted you to her? that she doesn't NEED someone else's money? Do you want to marry her, or just have a live in f-buddy/maid? I tell my girlfriends NEVER, ever agree to live with a guy unless they are engaged. Usually she gets all the BS housework and domestic duties, PLUS she has to hold down a job, for what? Nothing much really. Isn't going to make him want to commit. Just the opposite, is my observation. Edited August 27, 2011 by ThsAmericanLife Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 (edited) well, there's more to that story, in a nutshell... a) she hates her job, she's currently working and doing 3 prereqs so she can go back to grad school b) she plans to quit the job after the 3 prereqs are done, and will have saved enough to live for a year on without working while she's in said grad program. c) she also badly wants to go back to europe for an extended length of time, as do i, since i have friends in the UK (she's been once, her brother got married in rome). so there's two ways all of this pans out, obviously. my reasoning if we're still together in the spring when i move (about 6 months off, that'll put us about 8 or 9 months together) the solution will be pretty simple. keep the money you saved up, move in with me. if we break up you still have the money you've saved so you're not any worse off. no harm, no foul. meantime you can quit the job you hate and we can travel when you're between semesters. her response to that will be, based on what i know of her, a knee-jerk 'no' because she has taken care of herself since her early 20s and is reluctant to let anyone else provide for her, when i'm the opposite opinion of that. if it means we can travel and do more (which we can, since i have the money and business is kinda dead in this recession), i'd be all for her quitting her job and just moving in with me. it's not a hurdle yet, but i foresee it being one. we shall see in a few months if everything else works out. Edited August 27, 2011 by thatone Link to post Share on other sites
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 well, there's more to that story, in a nutshell... a) she hates her job, she's currently working and doing 3 prereqs so she can go back to grad school b) she plans to quit the job after the 3 prereqs are done, and will have saved enough to live for a year on without working while she's in said grad program. c) she also badly wants to go back to europe for an extended length of time, as do i, since i have friends in the UK (she's been once, her brother got married in rome). so there's two ways all of this pans out, obviously. my reasoning if we're still together in the spring when i move (about 6 months off, that'll put us about 8 or 9 months together) the solution will be pretty simple. keep the money you saved up, move in with me. if we break up you still have the money you've saved so you're not any worse off. no harm, no foul. meantime you can quit the job you hate and we can travel when you're between semesters. her response to that will be, based on what i know of her, a knee-jerk 'no' because she has taken care of herself since her early 20s and is reluctant to let anyone else provide for her, when i'm the opposite opinion of that. if it means we can travel and do more (which we can, since i have the money and business is kinda dead in this recession), i'd be all for her quitting her job and just moving in with me. it's not a hurdle yet, but i foresee it being one. we shall see in a few months if everything else works out. OMG.. I would never quit my job and move in with someone, especially if we weren't married. My ex-H could never understand why I needed my career/job/goals so much. I'm afraid he took it personally, like I didn't trust him. Alot of men feel that way, but the truth is, why should *I* or any woman, really, trust another person with our survival unless we were absolutely forced to. I never could. Its just not who I am. All I gotta ask is, would you do that? Quit your job and let someone provide for you? If something seizes up inside when asked that question, then you'd know how she might feel. I still would never move in with anyone for financial reasons... even if I cared about them. If they really cared about me, they'd make a commitment. If they can't do that, then I'm just a live in maid/f-buddy. That's how I'd feel. Link to post Share on other sites
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