NC Log

[Viv]

Hey you guys are right, I'd forgotten how it feels to go on a date when your heart is with someone else - really lonely. I think when you've just been dumped the idea of someone else liking you sounds great, but the reality is totally different (unless you're running away from your emotions).

[JB93]

Ack That must be miserable to see her at school, rather gut wrenching, I feel for you man. I guess I am blessed my ex doesn't live anywhere near me! Well here is a thought, if you are willing to be absolutely evil, how about when you see her you could make weird ass faces at her? Just a thought!

Thank god I go to a big school. However a hot lady friend of mine whom she DOESNT like lives near here, so when I pick her up to go to the gym, hopefully ill run into my ex. make her a lil mad:p. Otherwise I never wanna see her. The thought of her possibly dating someone else would kill me, so I removed ever possibly contact...

 

Hey you guys are right, I'd forgotten how it feels to go on a date when your heart is with someone else - really lonely. I think when you've just been dumped the idea of someone else liking you sounds great, but the reality is totally different (unless you're running away from your emotions).

 

Its weird huh? When u get dumped, u feel so rejected, like you lost the one. So you think somoene else having interest in you would be great! but no, not really. Like my heart isnt ready to date until im over my ex, at least 75%. That way i can get attached to another girl. Right now id say im about 10% over my ex...

 

Thanks for responding and replying- i feel like its not so bad when im doing and going through this with you guys. my real life friends i could never talk to about this. ESP my guy friends. haha

[Rorschach64]

@JB

 

Lucky you! I know I would like to my ex-f jealous but I do not know if it will get what I want back or if it would just make me bitter in the end. I understand that fear of her being with someone else, it'd kill me too! I even had a nightmare back on our first talk anniversery, that I saw her FB page and she was in a relationship, what a bad night! Like I said earlier, I think, I only left comms open to the maybe possible return as according to Homebrew's GIGs post she pretty much followed that to a T so yeah hope hope hope! *hits face with a brick*

 

@Viv

 

Yes, the inital notion of someone wanting you is amazingly wonderful and helps boost that confidence but you sit there, at least for me, looking at them and how they aren't your ex and makes you realize how much you miss your ex! For some odd reason same ethnicity/religion girls keep coming at me as my ex, heh :|

 

@JB AGAIN!

 

I know how that feels about the friend situation, mine helped me to a degree after constantly nagging at me how I didn't do anything wrong and my ex was a crazy female dog but any further support after that was either STFU about it already or go screw some random chick. Yeah Well I guess that's what LS is for, I'd probably be still yelling/begging/cursing my ex right now to come back if it wasn't for this site.

[JB93]

So i dont know whats going on right now. I normally post when im ina depressed state. Perhaps this is just a phase or the beginning to a new life, im actually stress free right now. Its really odd, my head is mentally stable. I feel really good right now. And its evening- usually its bad during the evenings. Hmmm

[Viv]

Made it to day 4.

 

Am seriously angry this morning. With him for being who he is, and me for ignoring all the signs that this is the type of thing he could do! The way he was with women in the past, the way he twisted reality when we disagreed about something and got really angry because he always had to be right, the way he had to tell 'his side' of the story to other people so they could tell him he was in the right. Next time, no matter how much I like someone I will not ignore these warning signs!

 

I hate being angry about this though, it seems like a massive waste of time to be even thinking about it. Can't wait until the day he is just a distant memory...

 

ughhh so angry

[Viv]

Glad you had a good evening JB, I read that you know you're getting to the end when the good phases get longer and the bad ones less and less, so even if you feel sad again it's still really positive!

[JB93]

Glad you had a good evening JB, I read that you know you're getting to the end when the good phases get longer and the bad ones less and less, so even if you feel sad again it's still really positive!

 

Hey Viv- good morning! I want to say that its been a crazy turn. I was feeling good last night as I had mentioned, and I passed out into GOOD sleep. But then I woke up 4 hours later at 5:30 am. I am still awake an hour later, feeling horrible. Thoughts of my ex crept back into my mind- and thoughts of her and someone else, and ALL the warning signs I should have seen, makes me sick to my stomach.

[Viv]

Hey JB, I guess it's all about taking it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.

 

I didn't make day 4, very annoyed with myself, but had fairly good reason!

[Buttercup84]

Hey Viv- good morning! I want to say that its been a crazy turn. I was feeling good last night as I had mentioned, and I passed out into GOOD sleep. But then I woke up 4 hours later at 5:30 am. I am still awake an hour later, feeling horrible. Thoughts of my ex crept back into my mind- and thoughts of her and someone else, and ALL the warning signs I should have seen, makes me sick to my stomach.

 

I know what to mean , today was the first time I had a good sleep . It will get better . it makes me sick to think of the warning signs too .

[JB93]

I know what to mean , today was the first time I had a good sleep . It will get better . it makes me sick to think of the warning signs too .

 

How long has your break up been?

And right now im feelin good. Guaranteed gonna wake up early again tmrw tho. haha. Sad that I know its gonna happen

[Viv]

Wow do I regret breaking NC

 

I did it because I really needed help on a final project for uni, my ex has helped with all of them and I figured that the most important thing to me right now is getting it done, so I bit the bullet, and asked for help - by email. He said it was fine, but now says that he is busy all week and will be at a stag party all weekend. That was like a knife in the stomach, he left me, he hurt me so much, why tell me that that is where he will be all weekend? So I know what he will be getting up to, strippers etc? I don't know if I'm overreacting but it seems cruel to say it?

Edited August 31, 2011 by Viv

[Viv]

I will not react, really, will post here instead. I don't care what he is up to anymore, all I want is to finish my project, that is the most important thing.

 

Im not going to let him know that I'm bothered, I need to remember that he is never going to return to the person he used to be. He has become cold and heartless, it is probably the only way he can live with what he's done. Even his offer to help seems to be more about control and playing games than genuine. When will I learn that he is NOT and NEVER will be the person I believed him to be .

[Lofty2]

Keep up NC Viv. You go girl x x x

[Viv]

Thank you Lofty After reading your post I was so inspired that I ordered the book you mentioned. Will be Queenly from now on.

 

x

[MAGGIE15]

Viv,

 

When going NC and we have to contact them is so hard, but when they say something that sets off our imagination it makes the response we get a thousand times worse.

 

Nothing in these type of situations is worse than our own imagination. Just a little piece of information and we go to the extreme everytime. I did it so many times when i was in contact with my ex. He was, like yours, cold and cruel and his texts were always one liners or what he was doing. And it kicks you in the guts like nothing else.

 

Ive lost count of the times i cried after i contacted him and got a response that i really didnt want. I was always hoping that 'this time' he would tell me what i wanted to hear abd yet again , i sat there in a heap crying my eyes out and a ache in my guts like i had been punched.

 

The best thing you can do sweet, is do your uni work and get on with your life. Im sure his ego will be sky high because you have asked him for help and im sure he thinks you will ask him again after 'his weekend'/

 

Eventually with me, i realised that the pain i felt before i contacted him was not as worse as the pain i felt when i rread his cold response.

 

Someone on here said, " how many times do you keep putting your hand in the blender?".

 

As hard as it is the best thing you can do now after his message is to NEVER ask for his help again. Dont give him an ego trip *( as he will expect it again) and try your best on your uni work. Show him just what you can do without him and show him what he has lost.

 

Cold and cruel ex's like nothing better than to think that someone is pining over them. Be strong, dont contact him again and show him you can do just fine without him.

 

You can do hun, just believe in yourself and protect yourself at all costs.

 

Just remember that ' knife in the stomach feeling' everytime you want to contact him and how he makes you feel . You deserve better !!!

[Viv]

Thankyou maggie, for the pep talk and kind words.

 

I think he was trying to get a reaction out of me, because when I didn't respond he sent me the things id asked for. But that's not really important, I've been reading this book about doing a relationship inventory, and I know that in a few months ill be glad im out of an unhealthy relationship, I was too dependent for one thing! Hope your nc is getting easier.

[Viv]

Day 0

 

Went out today and all I could see was pretty women everywhere, and then I started thinking about who my ex will be going out with soon (or already is). He made me feel good about myself, and now he's rejected me I feel really ugly, I don't know if I do look worse because of all the stress, or it's in my head. I was wondering if it's normal to feel like this, how long it lasts for?