sid3 Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Would like some advice from others please. How does one move on, if I still have hope. I have accepted that the relationship has ended, but I cannot seem to move on. I haven't seen or heard from my x girlfriend for about 4 months. She decided she wanted to be on her own to work on herself. I am not innocent, I took much for granted. I will never be perfect, nor did I expect her to be. She would say it is being alone that I don't like, but I truly miss her. Sad but true, I realized what I had when it is gone. Anyhow, I am hopeful for a second chance. I am wanting to be realistic, I know there are other people in my situation. So if I give up hope, and some how move on, wouldn't that mean I'm cheating myself. I'm confused......... Life teaches tough lessons. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 What does 'moving on' mean to you? You need to answer that question yourself. My definition of moving on is to move forward with ones' own life and not necessarily moving on with dating other people. Concentrate on yourself. What do you like to do? Do you have some buddies that you hang out with? You need to find places to laugh - someplace where she isn't. What I mean is, don't frequent places or do things that you only ever did with her. That will just make you miss her more. Try new things and new places. Go out with your friends. Don't think about dating anyone else and when you find that you are thinking about her, tell yourself to stop it and make yourself focus on something else. If you want to think about her, think about the things you learned about yourself. What do you want out of a relationship? What are your goals? Priorities? Did they match hers? Perhaps her goals and priorities didn't match yours and she, finally realizing that, left. It may hurt you, but its for the best. Enjoy getting to know yourself for a while and when you are ready to date you will have a list of things you are looking for and goals of your own. When you are dating others you can talk about these things and that will help you to weed out those you are not suited to faster and lessen the risk of more heartbreak, plus, when you do find the right woman you will be more confident in the long-term aspects of the relationship. Take time and grieve over the lost love before you jump into a new relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sid3 Posted May 4, 2004 Author Share Posted May 4, 2004 I agree with your definition of moving on. To move forward in life would be the best path. I don't feel moving on means meeting someone else to replace the one I have lost.Although I think having hope may be a double edge sword. It is nice to have the thoughts that a reconciliation may happen, but it contradicts accepting the fact that the relationship is over. A pardox! I would like to say I have a large support group, network of friends to help me through this, but I made my world consist of my partner and my work. I'm not a loner but I have few friends. Something I am going to change. It is amazing how much the loss of love can hurt. It feels as though there has been a death. I guess in a way there was one. I thank you for your reply, and for your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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