SugarHoney Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Even though my ex doesn't seem to want me anymore, he still sends me vague and confusing messages, suggesting he may want me back at some point. Problem is that I find myself becoming increasingly paranoid about his activities now we're apart. Of course I know that its now none of my business who he sleeps with etc. But I brought condoms for us to use before we split up and I left them at his house (I'm unable to retrieve them), and I'm plagued by visions of him now using those condoms to sleep with other women, while he searches for a girl friend who is better than me. I love him so much still and as he's given me so many mixed messages over the course of our break up, so I'm still holding on to false hopes that he'll change his mind and want me back. I know I need to move on, but its such a struggle for me, and now my mind seems to be flooded with images of him and other women using the condoms I originally got just for us. I guess the best solution to free myself from my obsessions is to find a new obsession and dive right in there. But I think about this guy literally all the time and now I am haunted by thoughts of him moving on and finding someone better than me to love. Link to post Share on other sites
noddingyes Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I take it he broke up with you. Yes, what you're going through is pretty typical and perfectly understandable. That he's continuing to contact you with "vague" messages is a form of control he's trying to exercise over you. Although difficult, your best course of action is to ask him to stop contacting you and you should not contact him. At all. You need time to heal and get yourself involved in other interests. That can't happen if you still interact with him. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Rafaela Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 This guy is playing games with you, broke up with u and still giving u sings that he still wants u somehow listen my dear in relationship there is only 2 solutions for me: Black or White as long he got a strong gut to leave u means he is still looking for the right one for him, when he texts u this time, ask him plz stop texting m in new relationship right now nd i dont want my new BF to notice anything like this in my phone, plz do not cause any confusion in my relationship, good luck. Then see his reaction!!!! and go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRedMe Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I'm sorry you are going through that right now. One of the hardest parts of a break-up (at least for me) is thinking of your ex with someone else. However, you stated that you are waiting for him to find someone better than you. I would suggest that you take your new found free time to build up your self-esteem. Reflect on what went wrong and how you can improve it. Find things that you love about yourself that make you valuable as a partner. Whatever person he ends up with is not necessarily better than you, just perhaps a better match for him. This means you need to go out and find someone who is better matched for you. For now, stop all communication with him. You will be less likely to find out what he is doing if you aren't talking to him. Plus, like another poster said, he is controlling you. He is trying to string you along until he finds someone else and then he will abruptly cut off all communication with you. You need to break it off with him first because it will be better for you in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Even though my ex doesn't seem to want me anymore, he still sends me vague and confusing messages, suggesting he may want me back at some point. Problem is that I find myself becoming increasingly paranoid about his activities now we're apart. Of course I know that its now none of my business who he sleeps with etc. But I brought condoms for us to use before we split up and I left them at his house (I'm unable to retrieve them), and I'm plagued by visions of him now using those condoms to sleep with other women, while he searches for a girl friend who is better than me. I love him so much still and as he's given me so many mixed messages over the course of our break up, so I'm still holding on to false hopes that he'll change his mind and want me back. I know I need to move on, but its such a struggle for me, and now my mind seems to be flooded with images of him and other women using the condoms I originally got just for us. I guess the best solution to free myself from my obsessions is to find a new obsession and dive right in there. But I think about this guy literally all the time and now I am haunted by thoughts of him moving on and finding someone better than me to love. Your best solution would be to go NO CONTACT...meaning delete his phone, number, email address, FB page, etc. You cannot begin to heal for yourself unless you make him INSIGNIFICANT....easier said than done, I know, but choosing not to is only delaying your healing. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
blahblahr Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 i know exactly how you feel. that happened to me with my boyfriend, but give them a little space and he'll come back to you. he'll miss you and remember all the good times with you. If you just give him some space and worry about yourself then it'll get easier. go out with your friends a lot and just have fun. Its hard to forget about him, but you just have to try your best. i took me forever to over him, but when i was close to it he came back into my life. Take yourself out and get all dolled up from head to go and go out. Have a girl night or go out and party! Link to post Share on other sites
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