bittersweet Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now. I am 25- he is 27. A few years ago, he had a bad problem with drugs and I stayed with him through the whole thing. My parents grew to dislike him strongly so I began to hide the relationship. He has been clean for over 2 years and he is doing much better with his life. They haven't been able to see this and they only remember him the way he was- the liar, stealer, manipulating person who ruined their view of him. I decided to hide the relationship from them. Here is the problem... A few days ago my father found out where he lived and saw my car there. I have lied for years about being with him. It causes many problems in the relationship. My parents knew we kept in touch b/c they see my cell phone bill. I have 3 brothers... I am their only daughter and my whole life they have had such high expectations for me. We argued that night. We yelled, cried and my mother ended up telling me I can't live in their home if I stay with him. They talked down on him... I tried my hardest to convince them that he is a better person. They laughed at me. They told me they will NEVER accept him. They said they look down on me and if I was so confident with my relationship then why don't I move out. My mother said she was more hurt at the fact that I have lied to them so much. They say I'm selfish... I told them I lie b/c i knew this is how they would react and I didn't want them to be upset. I ALWAYS do things just to please other people. They feel like I'm ruining my life for this guy. The reason why they can't trust that he has changed is b/c he hasn't once tried to fix things with them. He owes them money too. He never once tried to talk to them. They ran into him once in the last 3 years. I'm sick of living 2 lives. My b/f feels pressured now. He wants to pay them back but he is very short on $ right now. Besides, I don't know if they will think his gestures are sincere right now under these circumstances. They haven't brought it up since that night. This was a week ago. I can't even see my b/f without them finding out. I haven't been able to even see him so much b/c I need to face this all first. He encourages me to talk to them... but I'm deathly afraid for some reason. I want to just come out and say something, but I don't know where to start. I wonder what my parents are thinking... do they think they convinced me since I haven't said anything yet? Do they expect me to listen to everything they tell me? I'm not... but don't know how to go about it. I need to stand up for myself for once and my b/f wants to do the same. Should I be blunt or passive? Should I write a letter? Should I really think about moving out (even though can hardly afford it with college right now)? How do I go about this to show them how I really feel? Please give me any advice. Thank You!! Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Yikes !! I'm sure you're parents are concerned for your well being and safety and I'm sure they believe that they have your best interests at heart. But for heaven's sake - you're a 25 year old woman - not a child and certainly not a teenager. Your father found out where he lived and saw your car there? Is your father snooping around after you or something? Maybe there is more to this than you could have posted here - but I think that is just plain weird. Your b/f should pay your parents back the money he owes them and you should live your life as the adult I presume you feel that you are. Link to post Share on other sites
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