EgoJoe Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I don't think that this thread is healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CopingGal Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 I think it's good to get this stuff out. A lot of people treat others in disgusting ways. It's good to get it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Portisphish Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 She doesn't. I wish she did. She was the most kind and compassionate person I have ever met. She didn't feel the same about me. Does she have to disgust me just because she didn't want me the way I wanted her? She even broke up with me with compassion. She should have ended it much sooner as she knew of my feelings, but the reality is she did, but I didn't listen. I want her in my life as a friend, but I'm not healed, yet. I want to text her this. Am I an idiot after only 2 days of no contact? Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) What a great post. I've counted approx. ten to 15 bad reasons why you ex disgusts you. We all have faults and issues but can honestly say out of those numbers I can actually admit to one. That really makes me wonder why my g/f left me for her ex b/f who had at least 6 out of 10 ,,or 10 out of 15 of those bad things. She knew without a dought I loved her deeply, and told her so. I made her feel special and appreciated, wanted and loved without "faking it" (She told me that many,,,many times) Tall and in shape, have all my teeth and hair Told her how pretty she was, wined and dined her. Surprised her with love notes and gifts Cared about her and listened to her "without pretending of faking it" Insisted on open communications, talk to me about anything! Theres nothing we can't work thru. Listened to her. Affectionate, love holding hands, snuggeling etc. Not a drunk or stoner, helped with house hold chores Has money and a job and in NO WAY LAZY Not Jealous and very giving, very good hygene. Honest, respectful, awesome sex,, not just my side! Family and friends loved and respected me Not a wuss or cry baby, Dont need my momma and not clingy. Did'nt live together and gave her space and "her time" And she knew she was my world without smothering her. Just a few times, make her alittle jealous to make me a challenge to her,,, No cheating, NEVER Ok enough of the good. The bad points were/ are: Easy going, did'nt need alot of drama, maybe she became bored after the "honeymoon phase ended. None of that mattered because she was still in love with her ex b/f.Maybe I loved her to much? Edited September 14, 2011 by mike588 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CopingGal Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 My ex is a bad a friend as he was a boyfriend. He can't be in my life on any level. I never want to see him again. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyravenloft Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 (edited) Dumped me with the ol' "I need time to think" bit, then within six hours had someone claiming to be his gf tell me on his Skype account about their new bed and their sex life in it before logging off. Never heard from him or her since. Very rude to others. Cried and panicked when I brought up concerns about our relationship Stated he wanted me to treat him like my dog....a literal dog...make him sleep in a cage and use him for a footstool. Freaked me out but being that we were in a LDR, I thought he might have been either testing me or just goofing around. He wasn't. Would tell me he had nothing to live for if I left him, since his family disliked him severely and he only had one other friend. Would tell me strange things like he would see me several times in a green dress out at his work site, watching him work (he lives in an entirely different country). After two years of webcam chats, pictures exchanged and describing ourselves, he couldn't tell me my eye color. I will be graduating university within the next year and a half; that is when he was to come live with me. While discussing it, he would grow evasive about what he would do for employment here, then finally asked if he could just stay home and cook dinner and keep the house clean while I worked. I realize now that this was most likely so he could keep chatting up other females and play pc games all day. I'm bipolar, on medication, and he would try to encourage me to engage in behavior that was quite detrimental, such as drinking, not sleeping to spend time with him, etc. He told me he was jealous of the time my daughter got to spend with me. Yeah. I'm thinking I dodged a big ol' bullet with this one. Edited November 11, 2011 by ladyravenloft Link to post Share on other sites
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I don't think that this thread is healthy. I agree with EgoJoe. Forgive, forget, move on... best way to heal. No need to focus on the past, you're not going that way... time only move forwards. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyravenloft Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I agree with EgoJoe. Forgive, forget, move on... best way to heal. No need to focus on the past, you're not going that way... time only move forwards. I respect your opinion, but I must admit that by making my previous post, I do feel sooooo much better. Those were things I'd kept bottled up for quite some time and to finally release it........I feel an odd sense of closure now, plus seeing it posted there made me realize what a dolt I was for tolerating all of that for so long. I'm free!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I suppose it would depend on the break up...? I am just trying to stay positive throughout. I don't want to become bitter, like I did with my previous ex. Link to post Share on other sites
raymondebontrager Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Oh let me join! -Liar -Cheater -Manipulative -Said I never gave him what he needed yet he gave me NOTHING at all of himself -sex addict -pothead -xbox addict -I was always last on his list -Only does things if he can get something out of it -Has no remorse for anything -Jealous -Insecure -Selfish -Egotistical -Loves to brag about his high school days..you are 30 get over it! -Lazy -Is all about something head first then just as quickly is done with it never sticks to anything! Well he has a new woman now so maybe he will change and be a great man cause she makes him so happy! Oh Dear I could go on and on LOL Wow it seems that all the negative things is present in your ex.... You better look for someone who deserve your love and that could love you more than you love him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CopingGal Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 I agree with EgoJoe. Forgive, forget, move on... best way to heal. No need to focus on the past, you're not going that way... time only move forwards. That's cool, but it takes time. I just can't up and forget someone who lied to me all the time, cheated on me, then kept harassing me to the point that I had to threatened to report him to the police. I'm getting there, but it's going to take time. It's important that people let out their hurt and not shove it down. Link to post Share on other sites
shayla Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 This thread to me represents the anger phase of grief, and not an unhealthy thing. It's not like everyone is going to spend a year wallowing in the anger they feel at the time of their post. Even though I posted a while back about how badly I was treated during my relationship with my ex, I feel healed now and can get on with the business of moving on with my life. I think others will feel the same way if not now, then soon. Expressing your anger isn't unhealthy, it's just another step in the journey. Link to post Share on other sites
Desensitized Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Hey everyone, Awesome thread. Umm... while I am over my ex-fiancee for the most part, I'll list some things about her that made me end our relationship. -manipulative (probably the most manipulative person you'll ever meet. she could be lying to you to your face, and you know she would be lying, but she would still make you believe her). -always the victim (she always made it seem like the world was out to get her. "no one likes me, _____, only you do). -has slept with soooo many guys (30+ when I was with her, but maybe pushing 40 different guys now). -not that I cared that my ex-fiancee had guy friends, but all of her friends were guys. Made me feel a little bit uneasy because they would always flirt with her, and she would flirt with them. She crossed the line too many times, and I always made her aware of that. -acted like a child. an unattractive quality, tbh. -if she didn't get her way, she would cry or complain about it. -treated her parents like garbage. especially her dad. -disrespectful towards my dad, I didn't like that very much. -had reminders of every single guy she's dated in her room (including a huge drawing of her ex on her wall with the caption reading, "I love you.") -immature -impulsive -made poor decisions -had crazy fits. literally. -was suicidal -liar -deceptive -cold and yeah, the list goes on... I wasn't perfect either, but I tried my best to be the respectful guy I have always been. Link to post Share on other sites
ZimboGon Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 My ex is just easily manipulated. She took what we had for granted and it caused her to act like a completely person when this new guy came around, and she turned into a liar. Otherwise before that point and otherwise, i have no complaints. Link to post Share on other sites
Teuen101 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I'm not going to bash my EX hope she is happy, sure she cheated and lied. I can't believe she is the evil one. maybe me and her just wasnt ment to be I wish her luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
otherfish Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 - FAKE!!! - Unsocial - Intimidating - Lacked affection...emotion and physical - In love with herself - Used her disease to her benefit - Is an extremely over-protective mother - Controlling - In her mind, everyone picked on her son - Non-disciplinarian - Better to receive...in her mind - Selfish - Justified everything, never did anthing wrong - Used people - Doesnt see the good in others unless you are in her group - Refuses to acknowledge accomplishments unless its her son downplays all others - Comes from a family of female male-bashers - Has walls built around her walls - Claims she hates liars yet I have witnessed her lying - Expects things from others but dont expect anything from her - Refuses to believe any man could really love her Link to post Share on other sites
ToothpasteLove Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I used to hate my ex with a passion.. spent days planning on how id get her to fall in love with me again then id break her heart like she broke mine.. now i see what she did for me was a favour.. because i dont regret been with her, it was amazing.. but it was wrong in so many ways because she took me for granted and i deserved more.. she ripped my heart out, lied and cheated, she lead me on and she didnt care how much i was hurting but i still hope shes happy. Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 WOW. Well this thread made me feel better about myself. My exgirlfriend absolutely crucified me by email when she broke up with me, and it definitely left me feeling unconfident about what kind of boyfriend I am, and I've never been unconfident about that in my life prior. After reading the posts in here, I think that I am reminded of how I actually am not that bad to date. Yes I have flaws, but doesn't sound at all like what I read in here. I love my ex, but she did have issues. As do I, I know. However... whenever she would screw up, we would talk about things. When I screwed up, she kept a private list, it appears, then one year into our dating unloaded everything to me by email as to why she hates me, then told me she was blocking my email address and cell phone so that I could not respond, and ended it by saying I do not deserve for her to ever speak to me, or see me again. She told me that she gave me more of her time and money than I deserved, with plenty of emphasis on money. I sent her a list of moneys that we both spent, that I could recall. So bigger things like me taking her and her three boys to amusement park for day. It came to like $5000 I spent on her and her boys. She spent $1000 on me. She then told me what an ******* I was for throwing that in her face. HUH??? YOU brought this up. When I broke up with her after our first two months together, she came over my house and brought all three boys with her begging for a second chance. Wow thanks for using your sons, whom I've already did TONS of things with, as pawns to influence me back. Dummy me, it worked. When she dumped me, she told me that I didn't deserve to be able to see her sons anymore, because I never took an interest in them. In the year we dated, I took her sons to do something every single Saturday and Sunday, and everyday during summer when on break from school. When we split, I asked my friends to remain as friends with her. She and her friends, proceeded to tell EVERYONE they knew I abused my ex, and when I ever saw any of them out, they were always beyond nasty to me. To kick it up a notch, my ex was contacting my friends to hang out after dumping me. Once again, my friends were nice, would invite her places, she'd meet up with them then go into stories about how bad I abused her. So my friends stopped hanging out with her. Nice one, honey. She had before me, and went right back to, a group of very immature, very promiscuous, very heavy drinking 25ish year old girlfriends. My ex is 40 year old mother of three. What was her excuse for being out partying all summer, at a point in her life she should have loftier priorities? She needed just to take a break and recover from her waaay to long of a relationship with her crazy, psychotic, abusive boyfriend (me), as she told it. So it was my fault she had to go out and party nonstop. When we split, and I got that email about all the $hit I did wrong, there was a lot of things that were right on the money, meaning very valid reasons for her to be upset. I felt very bad about these things, and the fact that she felt I was doing things wrong yet never shared with me how bad she was feeling. There was also quite a bit of simple misunderstandings. Since she blocked everything, I decided to write her a letter to apologize. I did it very slowly, with much consideration, being as honest about everything as possible, and when finished six weeks later, I mailed her a 19 page apology, covering every attack she made in her email, valid or not, I took it serious and addressed as honest as I could. The response? She told my friends she was absolutely scared of me and what I would do if I saw her out, as my 19 page letter shows how mentally whacked out I was. Gee thanks Hun, again. When we dated, she would fall asleep on me every single night about 8-9pm. When she was single she was out till 2am every single night, and I mean every, even the weekdays. Our life became she came home from work, I had dinner ready, we ate, she would drag me in bedroom for sex, she would do a couple errands, then pass out. She never missed on single night of sex, it was #1 priority when she got here outside of eating what I cooked, and I NEVER made a box dinner, far from it. LOL I think I need a break.... Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Oh and of course one of my faves... this woman, who spoke of marriage, and of having a child together, and who's children referred to me as stepdad, when coming across one of my best friends after we split walks up to him and says "So did you hear Mike and I broke up? Yea I only usually date guys for three months at a time anyway". Wow, what a way to just cheapen it, dear. But guess it goes well with the "I don't miss ANYTHING about our relationship" text I got shortly before the crucifying email. Link to post Share on other sites
shook187 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 -bad communicator. -no confidence. -always angry. -attitude. -no goals. -lacks affection. -not a team member. -gives up after one hurdle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CopingGal Posted May 23, 2012 Author Share Posted May 23, 2012 I used to hate my ex with a passion.. spent days planning on how id get her to fall in love with me again then id break her heart like she broke mine.. now i see what she did for me was a favour.. because i dont regret been with her, it was amazing.. but it was wrong in so many ways because she took me for granted and i deserved more.. she ripped my heart out, lied and cheated, she lead me on and she didnt care how much i was hurting but i still hope shes happy. Wow, very big of you. Maybe one day I will get to the point. Right now I only wish my ex pain and suffering Link to post Share on other sites
Tree_Salmon Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) Wow, very big of you. Maybe one day I will get to the point. Right now I only wish my ex pain and suffering It's useless to feel this way. It only stunts your growth as a person. I was manipulated, lied to, and cheated on in magnificent fashion but I got over it a day after it ended. That's the way you have to be. We're all human. Leave your ego out of it and move on. Edited May 23, 2012 by Tree_Salmon Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 -Fake - easily manipulated by others - no real personality, imitates what looks good - lacks substance - disrespectful - too shy - doesn't have a drivers license - bad communication skills - pretends to love - ungrateful - lets her friends talk her into things - hypocrite - not as affectionate as me - Emotionally cheated on me and lied, stringing me along - Lies about her feelings - Last but not least, did not appreciate what she had. God Bless her, shes dead.....in my heart Hey man, so far in my dating world EVERY girl was like that, the bolded description. I don't want to bring girls down that will read this as I, myself believe there are ones that are not like that but the other way around... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radagast Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 She is still trying to get at me by making my kids unhappy. She cannot tolerate other people's happiness and wants everyone to be as miserable as she is. Link to post Share on other sites
dsw31 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 The only thing that disguists me about my ex is... the fact that we're not together! Link to post Share on other sites
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