How do I stop anxiety in relationship?

[LSgirl]

I'm 25 years old and have been dating a man (27 years old) for 8 months. Short background: 3 months before we met, him and his ex-fiance broke up bc she cheated on him (8 years together, I know it was too soon for him). In the first few months, he tried to break it off with me twice when he was drunk saying how much pain he was in and how she was his first love/best friend and everything he worked for was crushed. I told him we could take it slowly because we enjoyed spending time together (we're exclusive) and since then it's been really great.

 

However, he's not like the kinds of guys I've dated before. In my other relationships, boyfriends have told me they loved me within weeks or a month. This one is a cautious one and has never said it to me, basically told me that most people just throw it around and after what happened, he wasn't in any place to love like he used to. Yes, it hurt, but I have to understand that considering his past, he SHOULD take it slow.

 

I guess it's taken a toll on my self-esteem. I'm used to hanging out with my exes all the time, doing everything together. My boyfriend now is very independent, has lots of different friends and can easily find something to do and he works hard too. I usually ask him to hang out (since my schedule always changes and his is consistent).

 

All in all, because I know that he has a deep affection for me, loyal, caring (but not in the state to love, as he has said in many words) I feel like I'm not sure where this is going. When he talks about the future, he talks about getting a boat and sailing away. I truly admire and respect him, he's a very good guy and he's not the kind of guy that says things to play on words or say what you want to hear and he doesn't talk about his feelings all that much. Just last night, I told that I felt like I was building up resentment since most of the time I ask to hang out and he doesn't text me goodnight like he used to or send me cool songs in my e-mail and felt like I was his 2nd option when his friend was busy. He assured me I was not a 2nd option and that he goes out of his way to make me happy. (He did buy me flowers and spend 4 hours cooking for me the night before..but I told him I was even surprised at the flowers bc I wasn't sure if they were even for me lol)

 

He's not the most romantic guy, but he shows his affection in different ways. I trust him and I want this to work but how do I get rid of my anxiety? Mostly because he hasn't said "i love you" and that he doesn't talk about a future with me, it scares me a bit. I need more confidence in this relationship, and it needs to start with me. I know that actions are more important than words, and I'm not expecting him to say it to me anytime soon, but how do I keep my cool and not spiral down into resentment....