debilou Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 This is a tricky one. My brother had an affair with a married woman. She left her husband and got pregnant with his baby right away. The relationship didn't last and she went back to her husband. She wants to pretend he isn't the father. She wants nothing to do with him including child support. However, he wants to be in his childs life. We've done the legal research on serving her with the dna request. We know she's going to avoid the process server so we're waiting, hoping that she will think he's not pursuing her legally. My question is: What is truly best for the baby? If it's up to her he will never know who is father really is. Her first child is with a man she never married and the child believes her stepdad is her biological father. So I see this as a pattern for her. Back to the question: When should he attempt visitation. When the baby is an infant or older? I really haven't been able to figure it out. It will be a difficult situation because she is married with other children. The baby is in a family situation. I know this will cause conflict for the family when he has her served with dna papers and requests visitation. I don't want the baby to suffer even more. This is a difficult situation. Any advice or general opinions would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 This is a tricky one. My brother had an affair with a married woman. She left her husband and got pregnant with his baby right away. The relationship didn't last and she went back to her husband. She wants to pretend he isn't the father. She wants nothing to do with him including child support. However, he wants to be in his childs life. We've done the legal research on serving her with the dna request. We know she's going to avoid the process server so we're waiting, hoping that she will think he's not pursuing her legally. My question is: What is truly best for the baby? If it's up to her he will never know who is father really is. Her first child is with a man she never married and the child believes her stepdad is her biological father. So I see this as a pattern for her. Back to the question: When should he attempt visitation. When the baby is an infant or older? I really haven't been able to figure it out. It will be a difficult situation because she is married with other children. The baby is in a family situation. I know this will cause conflict for the family when he has her served with dna papers and requests visitation. I don't want the baby to suffer even more. This is a difficult situation. Any advice or general opinions would be appreciated. What's best for the baby is different than what's best for your brother. The best situation for the baby would be to grow up thinking his mother and father are the parents he lives with. But, of course, that's not fair to your brother. Your brother deserves to have a relationship with his own child, and to be a part of his life. I would suggest your brother have the papers served, and make sure he is a part of his child's life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author debilou Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 Thank you for your input. What's funny is that I never thought about my brothers feelings or what's best for him. I only thought about this poor childs tortured life. I know he will be a great dad and a good influence on his son. Time will tell. I know it's right to be a part of his son's life. No question. But it will be a difficult road. Link to post Share on other sites
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