MESO Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 About 2 weeks ago my girlfriend of a bout ayear and a half said she wanted to take abreak from each other...she wants some freedom...I love her very much and i respected it and thought that maybe it was ok just to see where we are really at... Well after about a week we talked both said everything on our minds and got everything off our chests One important thing she said of me was that i never really tried hard at our special days...like on our one year aniversary i asked her what she wanted to do instead of being creative and thing of something and ya kno girls kinda want to be suprised and stuff. I realized she was right and that i never really did anything like that for her...i always treated her well but i never was like creative and stuff... She said she wanted to take it easy for a while and just try like re-dating each other. Our first time out together was a little awkward... i asked her how she was feeling about us and she said "Whats wrong with just dating for right now?" and then i asked well do you still consider me your boyfriend? and she said " I dunno, its hard to say" well that kinda hurt and i thought that would do some damage. But i realized it was pretty early to be asking her that so i decided i would give it time before i asked again. BUt we met again on saturday and had a great time. We laughed together and actually had fun for the first time in a while. I treated her really well opening doors paying for everything blah blah. She was holding my hand and touching my leg and being close an we even kissed at the end of the night. Im buying her flowers tonite and we are going to a movie..and saturday im taking her to her senior prom ( im a freshman in college) I wanna treat her like a princess and make her night wonderful... But my question is how long should i be treating her nice and all this before i should ask her about us again?? I dont want her to start thinking "This is great I dont have to commit to him and hell still be there for me when I need him" Link to post Share on other sites
cryshuh_jj Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 you are so right to be thinking that. she can't have the relationship without the commitment. i would sat treat her as good as you possibly can when you do spend time with her. but when she comes to you wanting to hang out i would just tell her that you had something else planned with somone else. that way she feels like she is missing out on spending time with her and it will probably really make her think! Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 5, 2004 Share Posted May 5, 2004 Be good to her, but be yourself. Don't ask about your relationship anymore. Just be cool about it and figure it'll be OK either way. Don't play any BS games like pretending to be too busy for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Velveteel Posted May 5, 2004 Share Posted May 5, 2004 Yes, it's too soon to bring up the relationship again. Let her lead. Treat her like a princess when you're with her, and give her the occasional sweet surprise (pick her up in a rented sports car one night, or a limo, or something like that) but don't suffocate her with phone calls and emails, etc., when you're not. Just date her. Wait at least a month or six weeks before reconsidering your tactics. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted May 5, 2004 Share Posted May 5, 2004 Hi there, You wrote: "One important thing she said of me was that i never really tried hard at our special days...like on our one year aniversary i asked her what she wanted to do instead of being creative and thing of something and ya kno girls kinda want to be suprised and stuff." Do you think that part of the reason she asked to "take a break" was because of the above? That you supposedly don't "try hard enough" on your special days? I think she should be cutting you some slack. If you're going to the senior prom with you, I'd take that to mean you're in high school. This ain't a Harlequin Romance Novel, or a Soap Opera that you're living. She's just as capable of doing something to surprise you, that's creative on your "special days" too! It's not all about the guy having to be the one to do it. Don't fall into that trap. At least, from what it sounds like, you REMEMBERED your 1 yr anniversary....she should give you some credit for that, my goodness. Many husbands fail to remember their yearly anniversaries. At least you ASKED her what she wanted to do, at least you remembered and thought of her when you asked. She sounds kind of spoiled or self centered. Is she? Don't get too carried away with the money you spend on her now......you shouldn't have to break the bank trying to win someone back. As a high school student, I'm sure you're not a millionaire. A person doesn't have to spend all kinds of money to show someone they care. And you should be sure not to be taken advantage of......where you feel that you have to spend all kinds of money on her, buying her all kinds of nice things, to try and "get her back." Considering she can't even tell you right now if she considers you her "boyfriend", I'd play it a little more cool, and not be so "gung ho" or she'll just take advantage of your generosity. It's the little things that count anyway.....like showing someone that you care, and telling them what they mean to you....it doesn't have to cost money. And it doesn't require dozens of flowers and limo rides and such. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted May 5, 2004 Share Posted May 5, 2004 Treat her like a princess always and you won't hve that problem with her again. She apparently felt like you took her for granted - didn't treat her like a lady. You only have to spend what is within your means but as she said a little creativity seems to be all she wants. Just think of what she likes and make her feel special. Tell her that you have to know by the end of the prom or whatever - whether she'll take you back. or some other date. Say, "I think you can decide whether you want to commit to me by such and such time so I'll give you until that time for your answer. i want to make you happy, blah blah, but I want to make sure you're as into me as I'm into you. It makes me wonder - i feel like you're setting conditions opn our relationship. but i realize what you meant and i like treating you special because you are special to me" . just a thought Link to post Share on other sites
MESO Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 Thanks for all of your help guys I appreciate it Im a little confused now tho since most all of you told me to different things...I guess there is no strait rule book for this stuff... I guess i shoulda mentioned some other stuff aobut out break... I was also starting to get a little clingy and jealous....Only because my best friend and only friend left for the military and i was feeling lonely and depressed, all i had left was her...After the break i told her i was going to move on and meet new friends and such but at the time she was just seeing as me wanting to be with her everyday and not giving her freedom. I have told her things will be different and i realize it is wrong of me to expect her to be there 24/7.But that is where we are at now. So now i guess its more complicated.... How can I show her how much i care for her without acting clingy and desperate? Link to post Share on other sites
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