No attention from women, becoming a very angry person.

[robertdawson]

I feel as if I get absolutely zero attention from women. Nearly twenty-f'in-three and never done more than hung out a couple times with a girl.

 

University courses just started back and I'm basically in a state of internalized rage. Just walking around campus I'm constantly seeing people with women and it just flat out pisses me off now.

 

To give a few examples:

The other day I was sitting in the courtyard waiting for class to start. I turned around and said hello to the girl that happened to be there. She gave me this "You're so lucky to talk to me" smirk/smile, said hello and asked me if I was waiting for class (might have said something else earlier, I don't remember). I blew it off because all I was doing was being friendly anyway. But about two minutes later this guy and his friend walk up to her and she says "well hello!" (she couldn't have seen them too much before since it was the first day of class and she was a freshman) and he sits down and starts talking to her. He talked to her for a while, and I stayed around to see if the guy was doing anything that I hadn't thought of before (conversation wise). After about 15 minutes I got up and left because the guy sounded like a total douche/dumbass and couldn't bear it any longer.

Why in the hell could this guy walk up and immediately get this girl's attention but she would barely even talk to me? I'm not the best looking guy ever but I'm at least average and I'm nowhere near as much of a douche as that guy was, but that girl seemed to be eating that **** up. I wouldn't doubt it if she hooked up with him later that day.

 

To give another example: there is a girl in two of my classes who is fairly attractive I suppose and in the second class I have with her she sits in between me and this other guy. I talked to her a little bit the first day (just casually), and she ended up walking and talking with this other guy for a few minutes after class. Then today during the lecture they kept passing back and forth his iPad, I'm fairly certain just trying to discreetly have a conversation.

This girl is three years younger than I am which is too young for me (2 years is my limit, I just can't get past it since my sister is three years younger than me), so I guess I shouldn't care, but I do. Maybe it's because the guy seems like a douche sitting there with his iPad all the time. What is most likely the case though is that I'm just pissed off that this girl seems interested in this guy after talking to him like once (and he seems like a total tool). I was getting so pissed at them talking back and forth I just about couldn't stand to stay in the class.

 

The second example I gave just happened like an hour ago and I'm still on edge about it. While driving home someone honked at me for not going as soon as the light turned green and I freaked out and flipped them the bird in the rearview mirror and then got in their lane to try and slow down to piss them off (I usually never lose my temper driving like that).

 

I know being that pissed off isn't healthy, but jesus, I don't even feel like I can help it anymore. I don't know how I'm going to function if I can't handle seeing people around campus or having to be around that girl talking with that guy in my class. Also, I doubt anyone is going to be outgoing or friendly to a guy who looks like he is going to go kill something.

[somedude81]

I know exactly how you feel and I'm turning 30 next week...

 

I wish there was an answer.

 

Now wait for the generic advice to "improve on your confidence" and to "work out" to be posted by people who want to help but really don't have a clue what to say.

[nyc_guy2003]

Now wait for the generic advice to "improve on your confidence" and to "work out" to be posted by people who want to help but really don't have a clue what to say.

 

Ha, I like this...when I was young and socially awkward that type of "advice" would p!ss me off also. OP, how do you look like? I'm guessing your appearance has a lot to do with how chicks react to you. Maybe you're not as attractive as you think you are.

 

For example, I've always been a good looking guy, but when I was younger I noticed too that girls tended to avoid me and talk to other guys I thought were tools. Looking back now, I can see what some of my problems were -- I always wore baggy t-shirts and wrinkled pants, had bad haircuts, bad breath, etc. Overtime I've worked out all of these appearance issues and have seen an improvement in my social standing as a result.

[carhill]

You're pissed because you care, a lot. There's a time for that, right around the time you hold your infant child in your arms for the first time. Until then, try caring a bit less. Once you see women as interchangeable and only with substantial care and empathy on their part separating them from the masses, then you'll feel less 'pissed'. Attracting women and maintaining relationships is a different subject but the 'pissed' has to go first. You control that completely.

 

Personally, I didn't figure that out until I was in my 30's. I cared way too much. Still prone to it a bit, but therapy helped balance that care with healthy care for myself and my own needs and desires, including the sexual ones.

 

My two bullet points would be to try caring less and try owning your sexuality more.

[somethingsimple]

Seriously, what do you expect? A girl to go up to you and just ask you out on a date? Or that a simple "Hello" is a panty dropper?

 

And why you gotta hate, on other guys, who on your perception gets women?

You're a man, if you want a girl, go and get it. Stop whining.

[somedude81]

Seriously, what do you expect? A girl to go up to you and just ask you out on a date? Or that a simple "Hello" is a panty dropper?

 

And why you gotta hate, on other guys, who on your perception gets women?

You're a man, if you want a girl, go and get it. Stop whining.

LOL, I knew I forgot the other option.

 

"Man up and take what you want"

 

Sure, let me go grab my club.

[fortyninethousand322]

Seriously, what do you expect? A girl to go up to you and just ask you out on a date? Or that a simple "Hello" is a panty dropper?

 

And why you gotta hate, on other guys, who on your perception gets women?

You're a man, if you want a girl, go and get it. Stop whining.

 

I think this qualifies as the "advice" somedude was referring to. I know it comes from the heart and it reflects your caring attitude, but it really doesn't help. At all.

[dasein]

Trying to meet girls in class is not good odds for you. Get out and about all over the place and start talking to everyone you see who isn't busy, regardless of age and gender. After a few months of this you should be able to begin approaching lots of women wherever you find them out and about.

 

Channel that anger into this type of effort and it will pay off over time. Stop worrying about douchebags and how they do with women, the reason they do better than you is they are focused on what they want to achieve instead of judging their competition and taking things personally. Good luck.

[Pierre]

I feel as if I get absolutely zero attention from women. Nearly twenty-f'in-three and never done more than hung out a couple times with a girl.

 

University courses just started back and I'm basically in a state of internalized rage. Just walking around campus I'm constantly seeing people with women and it just flat out pisses me off now.

 

To give a few examples:

The other day I was sitting in the courtyard waiting for class to start. I turned around and said hello to the girl that happened to be there. She gave me this "You're so lucky to talk to me" smirk/smile, said hello and asked me if I was waiting for class (might have said something else earlier, I don't remember). I blew it off because all I was doing was being friendly anyway. But about two minutes later this guy and his friend walk up to her and she says "well hello!" (she couldn't have seen them too much before since it was the first day of class and she was a freshman) and he sits down and starts talking to her. He talked to her for a while, and I stayed around to see if the guy was doing anything that I hadn't thought of before (conversation wise). After about 15 minutes I got up and left because the guy sounded like a total douche/dumbass and couldn't bear it any longer.

Why in the hell could this guy walk up and immediately get this girl's attention but she would barely even talk to me? I'm not the best looking guy ever but I'm at least average and I'm nowhere near as much of a douche as that guy was, but that girl seemed to be eating that **** up. I wouldn't doubt it if she hooked up with him later that day.

 

To give another example: there is a girl in two of my classes who is fairly attractive I suppose and in the second class I have with her she sits in between me and this other guy. I talked to her a little bit the first day (just casually), and she ended up walking and talking with this other guy for a few minutes after class. Then today during the lecture they kept passing back and forth his iPad, I'm fairly certain just trying to discreetly have a conversation.

This girl is three years younger than I am which is too young for me (2 years is my limit, I just can't get past it since my sister is three years younger than me), so I guess I shouldn't care, but I do. Maybe it's because the guy seems like a douche sitting there with his iPad all the time. What is most likely the case though is that I'm just pissed off that this girl seems interested in this guy after talking to him like once (and he seems like a total tool). I was getting so pissed at them talking back and forth I just about couldn't stand to stay in the class.

 

The second example I gave just happened like an hour ago and I'm still on edge about it. While driving home someone honked at me for not going as soon as the light turned green and I freaked out and flipped them the bird in the rearview mirror and then got in their lane to try and slow down to piss them off (I usually never lose my temper driving like that).

 

I know being that pissed off isn't healthy, but jesus, I don't even feel like I can help it anymore. I don't know how I'm going to function if I can't handle seeing people around campus or having to be around that girl talking with that guy in my class. Also, I doubt anyone is going to be outgoing or friendly to a guy who looks like he is going to go kill something.

 

 

If you want to get women you need to become a successful man.

 

A doctor, no matter how nerdy will have no trouble finding a nurse that wants to sleep with him.

 

The same can be said about a lawyer in a law firm, a successful athlete, a talented musician, a business owner, etc.

 

If you are a low level employee then women are not turned on unless you are very good looking and know how to talk to women.

[sweetypielovely]

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life.

 

I know your feeling like women dont pay attention to you, but people cant help who they are attracted to. if someone doesnt find you attractive, then its their loss.

 

It seems to me you cant take rejection very well. Have you not had too many dates before?

 

Can your friends set you up on a date?

[OnyxSnowfall]

Do you want to be with girls that overlook you for things that you don't even value?

 

If so, go ahead and try to figure out a way to "adapt" to what these types of females desire and go for. Otherwise, be yourself and just keep looking. Focus on things that are important *to you*, develop (or continue developing) areas that *you* are passionate about...

 

sooner or later someone will click with it, and at least you'll have a better chance at knowing it's because they want *you* as opposed to some typical thing that people just tend to crawl all over without question (i.e, great physique and ample wealth).

[fortyninethousand322]

If you want to get women you need to become a successful man.

 

A doctor, no matter how nerdy will have no trouble finding a nurse that wants to sleep with him.

 

The same can be said about a lawyer in a law firm, a successful athlete, a talented musician, a business owner, etc.

 

If you are a low level employee then women are not turned on unless you are very good looking and know how to talk to women.

 

The guy is 22 almost 23. I presume he's going after women his own age. Are young women ALL going for doctors, lawyers, athletes, business owners? And if they are, I assume this guy is basically SOL for the next couple of years until he can attain "high status".

 

So, basically, your advice is: Work to get a career and in the meantime be content with your hand for sex and your own inner thoughts for companionship. Sounds great.

[reboot]

The guy is 22 almost 23. I presume he's going after women his own age. Are young women ALL going for doctors, lawyers, athletes, business owners? And if they are, I assume this guy is basically SOL for the next couple of years until he can attain "high status".

 

So, basically, your advice is: Work to get a career and in the meantime be content with your hand for sex and your own inner thoughts for companionship. Sounds great.

 

If by "Sounds great" you actually mean, "That's the dumbest thing I ever read", then yeah, I agree. Sounds great.

[chphan]

I know exactly how you feel and I'm turning 30 next week...

 

I wish there was an answer.

 

Now wait for the generic advice to "improve on your confidence" and to "work out" to be posted by people who want to help but really don't have a clue what to say.

 

 

This is very funny but in some way very true on how some of the other posters here on people who don't live up to their standards on what a guy should be or should be doing.

[Pierre]

The guy is 22 almost 23. I presume he's going after women his own age. Are young women ALL going for doctors, lawyers, athletes, business owners? And if they are, I assume this guy is basically SOL for the next couple of years until he can attain "high status".

 

So, basically, your advice is: Work to get a career and in the meantime be content with your hand for sex and your own inner thoughts for companionship. Sounds great.

 

Achieve success and women will come.

 

Everybody knows the story about the nerd in high school that could not get a GF versus the jock that was a great athlete and had lots of women.

 

The 10 years go by: The nerd is now a doctor and the jock is unemployed. At this point the nerd gets all the women and the jock is a loser.

 

However, before getting there there are other avenues for success. A geek with amazing computer skills may get more women than a less geeky guy with no talent.

 

Just be very good at something. That will make you different and give you a lot of confidence. Educate yourself as much as you can. If you are in law school most women will not turn you down. If you are an engineer student on campus many women will instantly know you are smart. Many women cream their panties for intelligent men.

 

Also pick your target audience carefully. If you want admiration and attention go for women below your league.

[robertdawson]

I never said I was attractive, but I can't imagine I'd be considered ugly. Honestly I feel it is my height that hurts me more than anything.

 

I'm not even that socially awkward. I can approach women and talk to them just fine. I do the same f'in things other guys do but get completely different responses.

 

If I hadn't switched what I was doing I would be out of college by now. If I don't get at least one attractive woman before I finish school I think I'm going to lose it.

[Star Gazer]

You said you didn't say you're attractive, but you feel you must "get an attractive woman" by a certain deadline or you're going to lose it? Yikes.

 

Why not start with going after your equals?

[somethingsimple]

I think this qualifies as the "advice" somedude was referring to. I know it comes from the heart and it reflects your caring attitude, but it really doesn't help. At all.

 

I understand, its a bit mean. But blaming the world or the female gender isn't too healthy either. Carhill is right, the sooner one stops caring, the more girls will flock. Especially for the early twenties age. I hope one can really find the irony in that.

 

If saying "hello" or a casual conversation is the biggest risk he'll take, it ain't happening. What I mean by taking what you want, is that you got to be willing to take risks. Next time, you talk to a girl, flirt. Show your attraction, reason why "tools" get more women is cause they're not afraid to put themselves out there.

[OnyxSnowfall]

Honestly I feel it is my height that hurts me

 

How tall are you?

 

Personally, I'm not very picky about physique in a man... rather, my biggest physical requirement, is that he's "at least" taller than me. I just can't get sexually into a man that's my height or shorter

 

I *have* seen women who are with men that are shorter than them. It happens... but perhaps you need to lower your bar a little =/

[KathyM]

If you're an average looking guy, don't expect to be able to compete with the good looking guys for an attractive woman, unless, like Pierre said, you have extreme success in a career or a talent/skill. You'll have the best luck by approaching women who are also average looking. They'd probably be very happy you approached them, and would be eager to talk to you and date you, unless you have an attitude problem that turns them off.

[Pierre]

How tall are you?

 

Personally, I'm not very picky about physique in a man... rather, my biggest physical requirement, is that he's "at least" taller than me. I just can't get sexually into a man that's my height or shorter

 

I *have* seen women who are with men that are shorter than them. It happens... but perhaps you need to lower your bar a little =/

 

If OP is very short he could actually try the supertall women, the women above six feet. These woman are used to date men shorter than them. They accept a short man with no problem.

[PJKino]

Im the same way except i just turned 31..

 

Tired of hearign the same cliches that will supposenly magically help me but havent..

 

Ive pretty much given up because it hurts too much to want something badsly that i cant have so ive convinced myself to forget about that part of life..

 

Oh and yes ive heard the when you dotn care about fidning women theyll flock to you garbage:laugh: When i ignore them they still ignore me

[carhill]

OP, question: Do you have a best male friend? By that I mean someone you know has your back and you his; someone you can essentially talk to about anything and who accepts and loves you for who you are.

 

Now, presuming you're straight, what can a woman share with you that he can't?

 

Own that and let your behavior and words reflect it. Care less (than the current 'pissed' indicates) about how that is received.

[PJKino]

If you're an average looking guy, don't expect to be able to compete with the good looking guys for an attractive woman, unless, like Pierre said, you have extreme success in a career or a talent/skill. You'll have the best luck by approaching women who are also average looking. They'd probably be very happy you approached them, and would be eager to talk to you and date you, unless you have an attitude problem that turns them off.

 

Sometimes average women can be picky and mean as well..

 

The whole approach only your league thing is tricky anyway..People dotn walk around with "im a 6" on their head

[verhrzn]

Before we all jump on the "you need to be successful/tall/attractive for women to like you" please clarify something for me.

 

You say hello. Girl says hello back, smirking a little (perhaps she was smirking because a guy she thought was cute just started a conversation with her and she is flirty/pleased.) Then she asks if you're waiting for classes to start.

 

And you... ignore her?? A girl tries to continue a conversation, and you don't respond, and then you get all pissy that women don't give you attention? She WAS giving you attention, she WAS talking to you, it was you who ignored her.

 

Additionally, maybe the girl immediately started talking to the guy because, ya know, she knew him. Maybe she has an older sister and he's a friend. Maybe they went to high school together. Maybe he's in her dorm... To immediately assume she was going to jump into his pants because she was enthusiastic in talking to him is absolutely ridiculous.

 

As to the girl in your class, maybe she's interested in talking to the guy because he doesn't treat her as someone "who is fairly attractive I suppose." Or hey maybe they're FRIENDS who know each other from somewhere else. You ever considered that maybe you're giving off the vibes that you really wouldn't bother with this girl anyway, or that you see yourself as superior to them (the girl is only fairly attractive, how DARE she talk to that guy you assume is a douche even though you barely know him.)

 

I'm sorry you're angry, but in the situations you described... they are situations that you created yourself.