No attention from women, becoming a very angry person.

[aj22one]

Ha. All these dudes who can't get dates. Guys beggars can't be choosers. Start approaching this like an auction. Start lowering your standards until a girl actually says yes. Don't worry about how good she looks, or how smart she is or any of that nonsense. Just get a girl and stay with her, settle. That's what low quality guys and gals should do.

[KathyM]

That's a common misconception. Most guys who do bad with women, are not waiting for a beauty. They will be fine with an average looking girl.

 

On the other end, I've known several girls who would rather be alone than be with somebody in their league.

 

And then there are the girls who are content being sex toys for the guys that are out of their league. Also known as FWB.

You know, you're right. There are plenty of average looking girls that will be so enamoured that a good looking guy is giving them any attention at all, that they are willing to allow themselves to be used for sex, just to get the guy, even if it's for just sex. I feel for you guys. It kind of sucks. But there are quality women out there who are average-looking women who have standards for themselves and wouldn't allow themselves to be used by any man. Just have to go to the right places to meet those kinds of women.

[somedude81]

Ha. All these dudes who can't get dates. Guys beggars can't be choosers. Start approaching this like an auction. Start lowering your standards until a girl actually says yes. Don't worry about how good she looks, or how smart she is or any of that nonsense. Just get a girl and stay with her, settle. That's what low quality guys and gals should do.

That's what I'm thinking about doing.

 

I'll just ask out anybody who has a similar interest as me or have something common with, as long as she's not fat.

 

As long as she's remotely cute, it's good enough.

[Richard Friedman]

Then why don't women stay single until they hit success?

 

And, I'm the expert at smiting my face.

 

*edit: I also see broke college students dating all the time. Heck, I even see broke non-students dating all the time. Somehow I guess they have the most going for them I guess?

 

Sure they can. ordinary people go on dates and get laid all the time. What Pierre meant was that success can allow a guy who's unattractive or awkward and striking out with women more options. In real life a guy who's been introverted all his life can't suddenly become handsome or a social butterfly. Success become another way to the goal, because there'll be some women willing to go for you(if you're not an oompa loompa or shrek). If you're already scoring then fine, but surely you'd agree a 5'5 ugly surgeon would do better than a 5'5 guy in your average desk job.

 

It seems words like tool and douchebag are thrown around by jealous losers to describe guys who're actually bold enough to interact with women in a sexual, non-subservient way. Don't listen to them. Women are not some kind of virginal angels who'll be offended if a guy looks at them sexually. This is the way to go unless you want to end up in the friend zone.

[Red Arremer]

Achieve success and women will come.

 

Everybody knows the story about the nerd in high school that could not get a GF versus the jock that was a great athlete and had lots of women.

 

The 10 years go by: The nerd is now a doctor and the jock is unemployed. At this point the nerd gets all the women and the jock is a loser.

 

However, before getting there there are other avenues for success. A geek with amazing computer skills may get more women than a less geeky guy with no talent.

 

Just be very good at something. That will make you different and give you a lot of confidence. Educate yourself as much as you can. If you are in law school most women will not turn you down. If you are an engineer student on campus many women will instantly know you are smart. Many women cream their panties for intelligent men.

 

Also pick your target audience carefully. If you want admiration and attention go for women below your league.

Counterpoint: If any of this was true, I would not be posting here.

[Red Arremer]

Ha. All these dudes who can't get dates. Guys beggars can't be choosers. Start approaching this like an auction. Start lowering your standards until a girl actually says yes. Don't worry about how good she looks, or how smart she is or any of that nonsense. Just get a girl and stay with her, settle. That's what low quality guys and gals should do.

Also, I would rather die alone than settle for someone I'm not attracted to, at least for the long term.

[Pierre]

Counterpoint: If any of this was true, I would not be posting here.

 

 

All rules have exceptions,

 

And I am sorry to say you are an exception to the rule.

[Abhuman]

You sound whiny: "I want a girl and I want one NOW" *stamps foot*

 

Maybe your standards are too high.

 

Your expectations definitely seem pretty high. The vast majority of girls you meet aren't going to become a girlfriend. You set yourself up for many many disappointments focusing on that goal. Set a realistic goal, make them smile a few times. Bonus points if you make them laugh or giggle.

 

I'm going to bet that the dude in your first example was simply more interesting to talk to than you were. Probably wasn't too much about looks assuming you aren't sloppy looking.

[somethingsimple]

I'm a recent college grad and I'm unemployed right now. I've been looking for a job over a year, consistently. But, I don't have problem getting dates, seriously its all on the mindset you give. Granted, I give off a focused vibe, in which I am. And I am confident that I'll end up being successful in my own way. Particularly, I don't want to be in a relationship, because I'm trying to advance myself career wise. But I do like women and their company which is why I go on dates.

 

But I don't have a problem getting dates. I do admit, that me not having a job career wise at the moment, turns off some women. I understand and I move along. I think at the moment, since I'm relatively young, 24. It's still not far-fetched to look at my unemployment as a straight up deal-breaker.

 

What I have going for me? Probably confidence and charm. Girls, claim I give off a cocky swag, but in a more humorous manner, which probably makes it acceptable. I do think I'm good looking though, you have to, but I don't seek entitlement from it. I'm just comfortable with the way I look, and if you don't like it, then oh well.

 

However, during college I was in long-term relationship, which ended prior to me graduating. Afterwards, I sought validation in which didn't turn out so well, as women saw through my insecurities. However, when I finally got over the breakup. And was back to myself, getting dates wasn't relatively to hard.

 

I'll tell you this, most of the girls I meet, the girlfriend material is far and in between. Sometimes because of them, sometimes because of me, or incompatibility.

 

My point to this exactly. Go get some swag.

[Pierre]

Swag comes easy if you have a successful profession. If you act like someone important the women will pay attention.

[robertdawson]

I don't remember who asked, but I am 5'3".

 

Whiny my ass. Just pissed off I haven't been close to success in two years.

"Cocky swag" sounds to me like being a douchebag to be honest. I won't become a douche. And if that first girl found what that guy had to say interesting she is an idiot. At one point he asked her if she smoked (she said no) and he went on for 5 minutes about this "cool new organic tobacco without any additives" that he started smoking.

 

verhrzn: When did I ever say I was mad at women in general? I just said I was pissed at the lack of attention I was getting.

"You say hello. Girl says hello back, smirking a little (perhaps she was smirking because a guy she thought was cute just started a conversation with her and she is flirty/pleased.) Then she asks if you're waiting for classes to start." I said I didn't remember the entire conversation. I feel like I said something that brought that question about. Also, I know that guy that approached her did not know her because he asked her name, what year she was, major, etc., stuff he should know if he did know her. I'm pretty sure he even asked what side of campus she lived on.

About her saying hello, listen... from interacting with women I have noticed how some women act when they do not want to talk to you.

I said hello, she smirked/smiled for a few seconds and then said "hi" as if it were going to kill her (my impression). Also, just because a girl carries on a conversation with you doesn't mean she is interested. There have been plenty of times where I could tell girls did not want to talk to me (would not start the conversation back up if I stopped) but they did to be polite.

 

How is fairly attractive an insult? Anyway, she just sent me a friend request on FB. She is actually a lesbian... Whoops. Was wrong on that one.

 

 

Mme.Chaucer: I did not say I was lucky she talked to me. I said that is what her smile and the way she said hello came off as. I don't walk around pissed off all the time either and I do talk to people.

 

KathyM: If I don't find "average" looking girls attractive then could you explain why I would want to approach them?

I don't show my pissed off attitude to people. I may or may not know how to approach women, although I still do (could be doing it wrong or coming off creepy). I only go after women I think are attractive, so if that is setting the bar too high then screw it. I have asked them on a date before. They all say no, in one way or another, even when I think they have given me positive signals before (carrying on a conversation, seeming interested, asking questions about me; this actually isn't that rare, but I'm apparently wrong about these being signals of interest)

 

------------------------------------

While I'm on the subject, is there any good way to go from meeting a girl to seeing her again? Just today I talked to two different ones, one from class and the other from the library. They actually talked to me and seemed to laugh at a fair amount of what I said (could have been laughing because they thought I was a tool, but I usually don't assume that is the case), but you can't just turn from casual conversation to "hey, so it was nice talking to you, what's your phone number?" I don't want to be the guy who makes women unfriendly because they get asked out every time they carry on a simple conversation with a guy. Also, the last time I met someone and tried to ask them out the next time I saw them I got shot down. I've been saying something like: "well, maybe I'll see you around" after a conversation to see if they bring up talking again or something but I don't think that seems to work.

------------------------------------

Edited August 26, 2011 by robertdawson

[Janesays]

Speaking as the girl who just deflowered a 32 year old virgin (Oh yes I did!), I have to say what attracted me most about my guy was even though he had very little romantic experience with women, he was still a very happy person. Happy with his life and still very much loves and respects women.

 

In fact, I remember laying in bed with him and saying something along the lines of, "I really respect you. I mean, you could have turned out a bitter angry guy posting long, angry diatribes on internet forums about nice guys finishing last and all that, but you're not like that at all."

 

And he said, "That's silly. Nice guys finish whenever they want too."

 

I loved him sooooo much when he said that.

[Eddie Edirol]

Hey RobertDawson, lemme ask you this: What do YOU think you should be doing that would work on a woman? You seem to kick all the ideas given to the curb, youre never going to get what you want doing the same thing youve always done, so what do YOU think should work for you?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Robert - I would be careful about projecting your personal feelings on situations you observe around you. How they appear to you outwardly isn’t necessarily what is going on behind the scenes. If there is one thing I can teach you, let it be that. Over the years I’ve come to see certain situations with my own family and friends that later came out to be different then what I thought they were. Because of my own personal projections, I usually over romanticized these situations. Call it the Facebook effect, the effect of the idea that everyone’s else’s life is great because of the outward appearance of it all. With the list of examples you gave, this was the first thing I thought of.

 

Now, as for your feelings regarding the lack of female companionship, it’s good that you admit this being an issue enough that it’s making you unreasonably angry. You are right that not many girls are going to talk to you if you look like you are going to kill something. The question is, what do you do with this anger. Are you going to wallow in it? Or are you going to do the hard work that is required of you to meet this challenge you have before you? This is what growing up is about. Facing new challenges and not skipping out on them because they are too hard to deal with. Here are a few of my suggestions for you. Work out that anger through a physical activity. No, this clearly doesn’t help you get more attention from women but it does direct that energy into something more manageable. You’ll blow off some of that steam. There has to be something on campus you can do with a bunch of other guys or by yourself to burn some energy off. My second piece of advice is take an honest assessment of yourself. Girls are much less motivated by looks then you might think. Yes, we like good looking men just like men like good looking women but we do tend to be more open to different kinds of men if they offer other qualities. Work on those things. It’s not going to give you immediate gratification but it will help you grown into being a different kind of man if that’s what you desire. My last piece of advice is to seek some mentoring advice from an older man. You’re dad. You’re uncle. You’re grandfather...an older man you respect who has experience with women. Ask them for tips.

 

I totally believe that you can over come this anger and get the kind of attention and companionship you really desire. YOu’re young. You’re still figuring out who you are. But you are going to need to do some work to get there. Don’t wallow in your anger. You’ve recognized it for what it is and you’re the only one that can change it. Fight for yourself here. It doesn’t matter how women treat you. Their opinions don’t matter as much as you think. But I do get feeling lonely and wanting some attention or companionship and I believe you can get it. You just need to make some changes. Fight for yourself Robert. Channel that anger into something good. You sound like a smart young man.

[SteveC80]

Being 5'3 is a problem,not that u cant get women but at that height you have to work much harder then the average guy

 

Spekaing as a 6'3 guy height on a guy is like a drug to women

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Attitude about your height could be a problem more then your actual height.

 

Short AND HANDSOME men in the spotlight:

Jon Stewart (Who I LOVE)

Seth Green (I also love this guy)

Micheal J Fox

Tom Cruise (it's his scientology weridness that makes him unattractive)

Dustin Hoffman

Prince

Pablo Picasso (Who was a total womanizer too)

Al Pacino

Emilio Estevez

Ryan Seacrest

[Pierre]

Attitude about your height could be a problem more then your actual height.

 

Short AND HANDSOME men in the spotlight:

Jon Stewart (Who I LOVE)

Seth Green (I also love this guy)

Micheal J Fox

Tom Cruise (it's his scientology weridness that makes him unattractive)

Dustin Hoffman

Prince

Pablo Picasso (Who was a total womanizer too)

Al Pacino

Emilio Estevez

Ryan Seacrest

 

I am also 6'3".

 

In any event the list shows that success overcomes height issues.

 

I see that the op is always thinking about getting the date as soon as he engages a girl in conversation. I suspect this urgency is not attractive to women. A guy like the op should think about nothing in particular when talking to the women. In this manner there is no pressure or disappointment.

 

I bet op does not have friends of the opposite sex. Sometimes it is easier for virgin men

to start with a female friend. I am almost certain most older virgins in the forum lost the virginity at the hands of a woman that was already a friend.

[carhill]

I am almost certain most older virgins in the forum lost the virginity at the hands of a woman that was already a friend.

 

The 'deflowerer' in my case was introduced to me by the wife of a male friend; she was a client and I had never met her before. Imagine my shock and dismay, about the same time as losing my virginity, being at her house and seeing none other than my fMW drive up. Turned out the children of the lady I was dating and the children of my fMW were best friends and hung out all the time. I recall dropping the kids off at fMW's house the weekend we 'got it on' for the first time. Anyway, one weird story. They can't make this stuff up. I was about a month short of my 35th BD.

[Red Arremer]

I was deflowered by a girl I met on Myspace the day prior.

 

She turned out to be crazy. Who knew???????????//

[Yamaha]

Being 5'3 is a problem

 

 

Sorry but your height is a problem to many women. I would try investing in some lifts in your shoes or wear cowboy boots which give you an additional 2 to 3 inches. Even just a few inches more will make a difference in a womens interest. They see you now as a boy not a man. It is the truth!

 

Your best bet is to increase your height by a few inches. Try it and see if women don't pay more attention to you.

[KathyM]

Well I can guarantee you that I'm not trying to date supermodels. And I'm pretty sure I'm not elephant man ugly.

 

I don't really know what kind of attitude I give off to women. I don't think it's a bad one, but I really don't know for sure.

 

And yeah, I absolutely do not know how to approach women and I usually don't have the nerve to ask for a date. So therefore I don't approach women and I don't ask them out.

 

How exactly does this help me though, other than to reinforce my original thought that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life?

Well, there's your problem then. You don't know how to approach women and you don't have the nerve to ask for a date. You can work on that. There are a lot of books and material out there on how to approach women and how to ask them for a date. Just read the material that's out there. It does work.

[Disillusioned]

I feel as if I get absolutely zero attention from women. Nearly twenty-f'in-three and never done more than hung out a couple times with a girl.

 

And..?

 

I was dumb enough to wait until I was 35 before I finally took the hint and realized I wasn't missing anything.

[OnyxSnowfall]

At least for me, and I'm sorry to say it but... that height for a man would rule him out of being a sexual prospect

 

I don't think it's true for all women, I don't even know if it's true for the majority but... like Yamaha stated... I suppose it just seems "boyish". It's just... ugh. I like feeling feminine and small too and if my partner is glaringly at my level um... it's just not arousing.

 

A guy with that height would have to be sterling in so many areas and aspects and even then... I'm uncertain as to whether or not I could overcome it. IF my current boyfriend suddenly became shorter (like his poor legs got taken out) than me then it would make no difference but... that's because the attachment is already there and I was open to allowing it to develop.

 

It is sad though, it's one area where I'm at least, shallow in. I can't help it... in the past I've tried to humor short men that were interested and that seemed otherwise interesting but... it just wasn't there.

 

(That doesn't mean it's your major issue nonetheless).

[KathyM]

Once again i have no idea whos on my level..its not as easy as you make it seem

 

Sounds like your suggesting to approach women i dont think are that attractive because i have a better shot at a yes

 

Not exactly a great or romantic way to try to start an approach or relationship

 

"hey babe remember when i approached you it was because i thought u were rather ehh looking and not overly attractive and figured id have a better shot at you saying yes then someone attractive:laugh:

Well, what is more appealing to you? Sitting at home complaining how the attractive women are turning you down and going after the other guys, or having an enjoyable evening with an average looking, but very nice woman. Take your pick.

[Yamaha]

with an average looking, but very nice woman

 

This seems very stereotypical.