No attention from women, becoming a very angry person.

[PJKino]

Well, what is more appealing to you? Sitting at home complaining how the attractive women are turning you down and going after the other guys, or having an enjoyable evening with an average looking, but very nice woman. Take your pick.

 

Id rather be alone then in a relationship with somebody i cant picture even making out with..

 

Plus you make it seem like all unattratcive or plain women are nice easy going and guaranteed to say yes to you and then be good partners..which is not always the case..

Edited August 26, 2011 by PJKino

[DepressedinDenver]

At least for me, and I'm sorry to say it but... that height for a man would rule him out of being a sexual prospect

 

I don't think it's true for all women, I don't even know if it's true for the majority but... like Yamaha stated... I suppose it just seems "boyish". It's just... ugh. I like feeling feminine and small too and if my partner is glaringly at my level um... it's just not arousing.

 

A guy with that height would have to be sterling in so many areas and aspects and even then... I'm uncertain as to whether or not I could overcome it. IF my current boyfriend suddenly became shorter (like his poor legs got taken out) than me then it would make no difference but... that's because the attachment is already there and I was open to allowing it to develop.

 

It is sad though, it's one area where I'm at least, shallow in. I can't help it... in the past I've tried to humor short men that were interested and that seemed otherwise interesting but... it just wasn't there.

 

(That doesn't mean it's your major issue nonetheless).

 

Its been beaten to death around here but it is like that to the majority of women.

[Disillusioned]

Hey Robert... if you think being 5'3" is no treat, then PRAY you're not 6'6" in your next life.

 

Trust me on that.

[KathyM]

I don't remember who asked, but I am 5'3".

 

Whiny my ass. Just pissed off I haven't been close to success in two years.

"Cocky swag" sounds to me like being a douchebag to be honest. I won't become a douche. And if that first girl found what that guy had to say interesting she is an idiot. At one point he asked her if she smoked (she said no) and he went on for 5 minutes about this "cool new organic tobacco without any additives" that he started smoking.

 

verhrzn: When did I ever say I was mad at women in general? I just said I was pissed at the lack of attention I was getting.

"You say hello. Girl says hello back, smirking a little (perhaps she was smirking because a guy she thought was cute just started a conversation with her and she is flirty/pleased.) Then she asks if you're waiting for classes to start." I said I didn't remember the entire conversation. I feel like I said something that brought that question about. Also, I know that guy that approached her did not know her because he asked her name, what year she was, major, etc., stuff he should know if he did know her. I'm pretty sure he even asked what side of campus she lived on.

About her saying hello, listen... from interacting with women I have noticed how some women act when they do not want to talk to you.

I said hello, she smirked/smiled for a few seconds and then said "hi" as if it were going to kill her (my impression). Also, just because a girl carries on a conversation with you doesn't mean she is interested. There have been plenty of times where I could tell girls did not want to talk to me (would not start the conversation back up if I stopped) but they did to be polite.

 

How is fairly attractive an insult? Anyway, she just sent me a friend request on FB. She is actually a lesbian... Whoops. Was wrong on that one.

 

 

Mme.Chaucer: I did not say I was lucky she talked to me. I said that is what her smile and the way she said hello came off as. I don't walk around pissed off all the time either and I do talk to people.

 

KathyM: If I don't find "average" looking girls attractive then could you explain why I would want to approach them?

I don't show my pissed off attitude to people. I may or may not know how to approach women, although I still do (could be doing it wrong or coming off creepy). I only go after women I think are attractive, so if that is setting the bar too high then screw it. I have asked them on a date before. They all say no, in one way or another, even when I think they have given me positive signals before (carrying on a conversation, seeming interested, asking questions about me; this actually isn't that rare, but I'm apparently wrong about these being signals of interest)

 

------------------------------------

While I'm on the subject, is there any good way to go from meeting a girl to seeing her again? Just today I talked to two different ones, one from class and the other from the library. They actually talked to me and seemed to laugh at a fair amount of what I said (could have been laughing because they thought I was a tool, but I usually don't assume that is the case), but you can't just turn from casual conversation to "hey, so it was nice talking to you, what's your phone number?" I don't want to be the guy who makes women unfriendly because they get asked out every time they carry on a simple conversation with a guy. Also, the last time I met someone and tried to ask them out the next time I saw them I got shot down. I've been saying something like: "well, maybe I'll see you around" after a conversation to see if they bring up talking again or something but I don't think that seems to work.

------------------------------------

Sorry to say it, guy, but at 5' 3", you're at a serious disadvantage in the dating world. Most women want someone taller than them or at least not shorter. You're options are pretty limited because of your height. I would suggest maybe pursuing women who are accustomed to shorter men, such as asian women. There are a lot of attractive asian women out there that would not be deterred by your height. And as far as approaching women, there are a lot of books and articles about that topic. I suggest you start reading some of them. I think it would help.

[KathyM]

Id rather be alone then in a relationship with somebody i cant picture even making out with..

 

Plus you make it seem like all unattratcive or plain women are nice easy going and guaranteed to say yes to you and then be good partners..which is not always the case..

If you're an average looking guy, why is it such a turn off to be with an average looking girl? I'm not talking about dating someone butt ugly, just an average looking girl. What is so wrong about that? Why is that so unthinkable to you? And you are right that average looking women are not always nice, but you are more likely to get a date with them. I'd give them a try if I were you. There are some pretty nice average looking women out there that would be enjoyable to be with. And there are many qualities in a person that makes them attractive other than their appearance.

[Cracker Jack]

I don't think PJ's saying being with an average woman is a bad thing (for all we know, the women he's into the most could be considered average) here--but more along the lines of he's not into the idea of dating someone he's not attracted to. Not unusual.

 

But I agree with your overall point. I find tons of "average" women attractive. As long as they're attractive in your eyes, the general title shouldn't matter, anyway.

[somethingsimple]

Swag comes easy if you have a successful profession. If you act like someone important the women will pay attention.

 

My profession is that I'm unemployed, I'm trying to get on track. I do make money on the side with part-time jobs but those are temporary.

 

But OP, I'm short as well, but not that short about 5'7. Well if you want my advice, next time you talk to a girl. Yeah, keep it light at first, ditch the negativity. Then flirt, and make sure you're relaxed, or then it'll be awkward. Because in reality the reason you're approaching these women are because you might want to date them. So just be real and straight up and flirt. If they respond well then they're interested. That way if you ask for their number, it'll be natural.

 

About that cocky swag, its more like confidence and charm, but they just don't want to say that. I just tease sometimes, smile a lot, and I have a lot of witty things to say. For instance, one time I was talking to this girl and I was like "I gotta go, here's my number, your move". She texted the next day. Another time, a girl was like I have to go, but she gave me her phone and was like add me on facebook. I was like facebook? Here's my number, I put 1Name, so that way, every time you open your contacts I'm right at the top. She took my phone and did the same, I thought it was sexy and smooth.

[KathyM]

I don't think PJ's saying being with an average woman is a bad thing (for all we know, the women he's into the most could be considered average) here--but more along the lines of he's not into the idea of dating someone he's not attracted to. Not unusual.

 

But I agree with your overall point. I find tons of "average" women attractive. As long as they're attractive in your eyes, the general title shouldn't matter, anyway.

I get the feeling from some of these guys, including the OP, that they only want to date the attractive women, even though they themselves are not attractive, according to them. That's not the attitude that's going to get you a good amount of dates.

[carhill]

IME, the worst of it was the repeated rejection by ostensible peers, as well as often manipulative 'friend-zoning' (didn't know the term back then), which really was disheartening and angering. It took a quantum change in how I processed those feelings to effect any change. Essentially, I said 'fµck them' and started going elsewhere in the world, opening my eyes to a completely different and more synergistic dynamic. I began to care less about what was going on at 'home'. The lesson stuck. Like I told my best friend this past weekend, 'my mom's dead and I'm divorced; there's nothing keeping me here'. Rather than getting angry, I'll just liquidate, stabilize economically and head out. I hope the OP channels his feelings in similar productive ways. Life is short. I remember 23 like it was yesterday. Get going.

[Yamaha]

I began to care less about what was going on at 'home'. The lesson stuck.

 

But at what cost?

You might have learned to care less but did the lesson make you more fulfilled?

[carhill]

Absolutely. Now I invest in healthy people, no matter where they are in the world, and could care less about the rest. Life is good, better than it's been in decades, about two to be precise.

[Yamaha]

Now I invest in healthy people, no matter where they are in the world, and could care less about the rest

 

So how does one become healthy?

And do you think people have any responsibility to help others produce good fruit?

[carhill]

For me it took a combination of professional therapy and assisting my mother to die with dignity.

 

TBH, I've done my gig over the last 52 helping others. Now it's time to help me. No one else is stepping or has stepped up to do it. That's instructive.

[Yamaha]

For me it took a combination of professional therapy and assisting my mother to die with dignity.

 

TBH, I've done my gig over the last 52 helping others. Now it's time to help me. No one else is stepping or has stepped up to do it. That's instructive.

 

OK. I understand. Carry on......

[AmEricanWomann]

Id rather be alone then in a relationship with somebody i cant picture even making out with..

 

Plus you make it seem like all unattratcive or plain women are nice easy going and guaranteed to say yes to you and then be good partners..which is not always the case..

 

You have a right to feel that way, but if a woman expresses the same feelings, she's labeled entitled, shallow or bitchy by the bitter men who want relationships with attractive women, but don't believe that it should be necessary that they posses any of the traits that would appeal to said women.

[somedude81]

You have a right to feel that way, but if a woman expresses the same feelings, she's labeled entitled, shallow or bitchy by the bitter men who want relationships with attractive women, but don't believe that it should be necessary that they posses any of the traits that would appeal to said women.

The problem happens when a girl thinks that ordinary dudes are not good enough for her. She has an image of what her ideal man is and she won't settle for anything less. Basically being unable to separate fantasy from reality.

 

I know a few girls who are really drawn to pretty boys. And these girls are single, want to know why? Because pretty boys don't exist in real life. Sure they're models and rock stars, but their numbers are so low that there are not enough of them to go around.

 

Men don't do this. Sure you're going to hear a bunch of men say how Jessica Alba is hot, but you'll never hear a dude say that he'll refuse to date anybody that isn't as hot as she is.

[Jynxx]

Swag comes easy if you have a successful profession. If you act like someone important the women will pay attention.

 

Utter bs. If there is a correlation, its because people who are smooth and charming have it easier to be successfull in life, not the other way around.

 

If you want to get women you need to become a successful man.

 

A doctor, no matter how nerdy will have no trouble finding a nurse that wants to sleep with him.

 

The same can be said about a lawyer in a law firm, a successful athlete, a talented musician, a business owner, etc.

 

If you are a low level employee then women are not turned on unless you are very good looking and know how to talk to women.

1. If op is perceived as awkward and undesirable, he needs to spend more time around women, not lock himself into his room to start an internet company. Getting less awkward will be way better for his chances than getting a great carreer.

2. The whole "youre not worth if for a woman unless youre successful" attitude is unhealthy, and thats putting it mildly

3. If you build a carreer and can afford and like to buy a Ferrari, by all means do so, if you would like to drive one. If you think it has a built in pussymagnet and is a part of the masterplan to get girls, youre in for a rough wakeup. It hasnt.

4. Shows like the millioinaire matchmaker show that successfull awkward guys have major difficulty finding a woman. I know its extreme cases and probably partly scripted, but the stereotypes portraited (successfull, build a business, now looking for a woman and cant find one on his own) are real and way more common than you think.

5. The last sentence is wrong. Ordinary guys get women.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

This thread is starting to piss me off. A number of you aren't here to give advice or help. You're either here to tear the OP down because of your own personal issues, or complain about how women get screwed over because of what you perceive to be the OP's apparently pickiness. Those of you know who said such things and know who I am speaking too. Shame on you!

 

There is absolutely NO indication that the OP is picking the hottest of women only. There is NO indication that he is selfish. He is just frustrated. This is NOT a chance for some of you to get on his back and complain about the level of "hotness" he is "allowed" to have. Yes, I acknowledge that many men will over look more average women in favor of hotter women. I have been over looked in favor of more hotter women. But that's not what *this* thread is about.

 

The difference between good advice and bad advice is this:

 

Good advice:

 

 

Pierre

I see that the op is always thinking about getting the date as soon as he engages a girl in conversation. I suspect this urgency is not attractive to women. A guy like the op should think about nothing in particular when talking to the women. In this manner there is no pressure or disappointment.

 

I bet op does not have friends of the opposite sex. Sometimes it is easier for virgin men to start with a female friend. I am almost certain most older virgins in the forum lost the virginity at the hands of a woman that was already a friend.

 

Bad advice:

 

Yamaha

Sorry but your height is a problem to many women. I would try investing in some lifts in your shoes or wear cowboy boots which give you an additional 2 to 3 inches. Even just a few inches more will make a difference in a womens interest. They see you now as a boy not a man. It is the truth!

 

Your best bet is to increase your height by a few inches. Try it and see if women don't pay more attention to you.

 

I could stuff my bra or get breast implants and I too, would probably receive more attention from men. But I don't. Because it's not about the amount of attention I receive. It's about finding a good man that thinks I'm hot the way I am. That likes ME. And that's more priceless then "investing" in implants that probably would get me more attention from men that cared more about that kind of thing.

 

I can not stress this enough but it's about attitude, attitude, attitude.

[robertdawson]

I only go after women who I think are attractive. If they aren't attractive then it just won't work. I assume this is the situation for just about everyone. This does NOT mean that I will only go after the super hot. Whoever is attractive is attractive. There have been plenty of average women who I've found attractive and some "super hot" girls I have not found attractive because they seemed almost fake.

 

I know that my height is probably a concern in the attraction department, even if I would be considered attractive otherwise. However, when I talk to women I don't even think about it so I'm not walking around acting self-conscious about it.

 

Yamaha: that is about one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. There is no way in hell I am wearing boots or lifts. That is **** pathetic losers do.

[robertdawson]

I only go after women who I think are attractive. If they aren't attractive then it just won't work. I assume this is the situation for just about everyone. This does NOT mean that I will only go after the super hot. Whoever is attractive is attractive. There have been plenty of average women who I've found attractive and some "super hot" girls I have not found attractive because they seemed almost fake.

 

I know that my height is probably a concern in the attraction department, even if I would be considered attractive otherwise. However, when I talk to women I don't even think about it so I'm not walking around acting self-conscious about it.

 

Yamaha: that is about one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. There is no way in hell I am wearing boots or lifts. That is **** pathetic losers do.

 

Someone was saying that if you're talking to a girl and you flirt with her a little bit it isn't as awkward to get her number... I know I've flirted before but it just happens situationally.

I don't really know how to consciously start flirting. Part of it I think is I'm too polite/respectful sometimes, like I don't want to make someone uncomfortable. I guess I kind of feel like a douche flirting with a girl unless I'm faiy certain she is receptive to it.

[AmEricanWomann]

The problem happens when a girl thinks that ordinary dudes are not good enough for her. She has an image of what her ideal man is and she won't settle for anything less. Basically being unable to separate fantasy from reality.

 

I know a few girls who are really drawn to pretty boys. And these girls are single, want to know why? Because pretty boys don't exist in real life. Sure they're models and rock stars, but their numbers are so low that there are not enough of them to go around.

 

Men don't do this. Sure you're going to hear a bunch of men say how Jessica Alba is hot, but you'll never hear a dude say that he'll refuse to date anybody that isn't as hot as she is.

 

You just said that you will only go after women that you find attractive. If you have never had any woman or have hardly had any, then you would probably not be considered an attractive man, but you still have standards.

 

You just think that you deserve to have the woman you want and that women owe it to you to date you just because they're not supermodels.

You think because you're not going after a Jessica Alba type that your standards are fair, but if a woman has standards, her standards are too high, because they don't include you.

 

And most women don't only go for the hottest man they can find, that's just an excuse guys use to put down woman for doing exactly the same thing that they do. Plenty of ugly men have girlfriends, plenty of fat men have girlfriends too.

But even if a woman will only date a man that she considers super hot...So what?

That doesnt mean she's going to get him, so she'll remain alone or even worse, a sperm dumpster for some guy that doesnt care about her. But if that's what she chooses that is her right. That only means she has a right to wait for the man she desires, just like you have the right to wait for a woman you're attracted to. She doesn't have a right to insist that the man she likes go out with her. . No man owes it to a woman to date her just like no woman owes that to any man. Just like you said you'd rather be alone than with a woman you don't find hot, most women would rather be alone than locking lips with a man they aren't attracted to. You can deny it, but both genders do the same thing.

[somethingsimple]

You should feel like a bigger douche, not flirting with her and trying to be have a normal conversation and having different motives otherwise.

 

Plus, it takes two to flirt anyways. You can start it, if she's not receptive then o well. Flirting can be done in numerous ways, body language, speech, eye contact, smiles, even light touching.

 

Idk, the way I think of it, when I hit on a girl or flirt with them. I'm doing them a favor, it's flattery and I'm sure they feel good about being approached.

 

To me, its like going up to a girl and saying I think your attractive or pretty or cute or whatever. Sometimes, I just tell girls that and walk away. Hopefully, it makes their day.

[robertdawson]

Americanwoman: where are you getting the idea that I said I DESERVE a woman? Quit reading into things so much. I already know that if some women don't find you attractive they won't settle. Why did you need three paragraphs to say that?

 

somethingsimple:

They aren't going to know my motives unless I make them clear..

 

Man, I appreciate you trying to help, but just saying "flirting can be done lots of ways" isn't telling me anything.

 

attractive women get hit on all the time. I'm sure they are at the point where getting hit on isn't fun anymore and becomes an annoyance (unless thy find the guy attractive). What it seems like to me.

 

From my experiences and from what I've heard from other people, unless a woman is attracted to you then a guy looks like a loser when he compliments her on her appearance. If she is attracted to you then it can actually make her like you more.

[AmEricanWomann]

Americanwoman: where are you getting the idea that I said I DESERVE a woman? Quit reading into things so much. I already know that if some women don't find you attractive they won't settle. Why did you need three paragraphs to say that?

 

somethingsimple:

They aren't going to know my motives unless I make them clear..

 

Man, I appreciate you trying to help, but just saying "flirting can be done lots of ways" isn't telling me anything.

 

attractive women get hit on all the time. I'm sure they are at the point where getting hit on isn't fun anymore and becomes an annoyance (unless thy find the guy attractive). What it seems like to me.

 

From my experiences and from what I've heard from other people, unless a woman is attracted to you then a guy looks like a loser when he compliments her on her appearance. If she is attracted to you then it can actually make her like you more.

The fact that you are getting mad at women for not giving you the attention you think you deserve is where you indicate that you think women owe it to you to date you. And please dont start whining about how long my posts are when you went on and on and wrote a tome about how women don't like you.

[robertdawson]

When did I ever say I was getting mad at women? You read into what I said and pulled that out. I said I was mad I wasn't getting attention, that doesn't mean I'm mad at the women themselves. I don't go around thinking "@#$% you" to every woman who doesn't show interest in me. Nice job trying to turn me into the bad guy though. Chill.

Edited August 26, 2011 by robertdawson