No attention from women, becoming a very angry person.

[somethingsimple]

Americanwoman: where are you getting the idea that I said I DESERVE a woman? Quit reading into things so much. I already know that if some women don't find you attractive they won't settle. Why did you need three paragraphs to say that?

 

somethingsimple:

They aren't going to know my motives unless I make them clear..

 

Man, I appreciate you trying to help, but just saying "flirting can be done lots of ways" isn't telling me anything.

 

attractive women get hit on all the time. I'm sure they are at the point where getting hit on isn't fun anymore and becomes an annoyance (unless thy find the guy attractive). What it seems like to me.

 

From my experiences and from what I've heard from other people, unless a woman is attracted to you then a guy looks like a loser when he compliments her on her appearance. If she is attracted to you then it can actually make her like you more.

 

Drop the negativity bro. You need to think more of yourself, if you don't approach these girls with the mind set that "it's there lost if you they can't have you". It ain't ever happening. You'll come off as needy and insecure. Screw your experiences, cause it seems like you're not happy with them right now. So just switch it up.

 

I'm not saying flirting, is drown her with compliments. Hell, most of the time I don't. Think of it as playful bantering or playful teasing. Like, joking around with your friends.

 

Just try and have as much as fun you want in the conversation, don't expect anything out of it. The more fun you have, the more attracted she will be to you and the more inclined she would want to talk and see you again.

 

Here are some tips

1. Smile a lot.

2. Straight up eye contact.

3. Be relaxed and comfortable.

4. Listen

5. Repeat what she's saying

6. Have good posture (sit and stand up straight)

7. Don't try and control all your movements.

8. Be natural

9. STOP BEING SO DANG NEGATIVE AND CALCULATING

10. Stop prejudging on what girls think of you

 

Here's are somethings you could've done.

When you said "hello" to that girl, smile and smirk back.

-So you "waiting for the next class?"

You could've said something like, "yeah, I'm kind of excited to start this philosophy class (granted it isn't philosophy)"

-This isn't philosophy?!

"yeah, at this point she should think this is funny"

-Haha..I'm just kidding. I'll just think about life or watever in there anyways.

 

By this point she should be more comfortable. Then just chit and chat as you please. And plus trust me, everything is better than waiting and being bored.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

AmEricanWomann - He already explained that he goes after women *he* finds attractive and that he isn't only going after the hottest of super model like girls. For you to keep on insisting this is the case, that he is only going afer the hottest of girls, or that he shouldn't even go after girls he is attracted to because he doesn't have much experience with women YET, isn't about him. It's about you and your own insecurities.

 

Further, as a woman, using the world "sperm dumpster" to call a woman and adding to the use of that word made me vomit a little in my mouth. That has to be one of the most vile words used to describe a woman and I stay yards away from men that use such terms. Being a woman, you shouldn't add to the debaseement of your own gender by using words like that. Sometimes women are used for sex, and as a woman, it hurts me to see it. But there is no reason to call those women "sperm dumpsters'. No freaking reason at all.

[AmEricanWomann]

AmEricanWomann - He already explained that he goes after women *he* finds attractive and that he isn't only going after the hottest of super model like girls. For you to keep on insisting this is the case, that he is only going afer the hottest of girls, or that he shouldn't even go after girls he is attracted to because he doesn't have much experience with women YET, isn't about him. It's about you and your own insecurities.

 

Further, as a woman, using the world "sperm dumpster" to call a woman and adding to the use of that word made me vomit a little in my mouth. That has to be one of the most vile words used to describe a woman and I stay yards away from men that use such terms. Being a woman, you shouldn't add to the debaseement of your own gender by using words like that. Sometimes women are used for sex, and as a woman, it hurts me to see it. But there is no reason to call those women "sperm dumpsters'. No freaking reason at all.

 

First of all, you need to reread what I wrote. I DIDNT say that he goes after super models and I never suggested he shouldn't go out with women he's attracted to. Of course he should. I was actually responding to him and another man who said yeah men have standards, but we don't insist on going out with the hottest women around, but woman insist on holding out for the hottest man.

 

Men have a right to have standards, but its wrong to deny that right to women. As I pointed out, fat guys get women, ugly guys get women, so most average women don't only look for the hottest men as some others have insisted.

So he totally SHOULD ask out women he's attracted to. Hell he even has a right to ask out super models if he thinks there's a chance My point was that he shouldn't be mad if women also have their own standards that don't include him.

 

As far as sperm dumpster...sorry, but I call them like I see them and I will use words that I feel are appropriate to make a point. However, I didn't use the term because I think there's something wrong with a woman and a man who just want to have sex. If you see another thread of mine, I'm talking to a French guy and right now all I'm thinking of is how to get my hands (and all my other parts on him) and he's feeling the same.

 

But a woman who only holds out for a man who's way above her league is either going to be lonely or be just used for sex. If she enjoys that, that's fine, sometimes all we want is sex. But the odds are she's going to wind up just used. You can couch it in prettier , more politically correct terms, but it doesnt change reality.

[fortyninethousand322]

First of all, you need to reread what I wrote. I DIDNT say that he goes after super models and I never suggested he shouldn't go out with women he's attracted to. Of course he should. I was actually responding to him and another man who said yeah men have standards, but we don't insist on going out with the hottest women around, but woman insist on holding out for the hottest man.

 

Men have a right to have standards, but its wrong to deny that right to women. As I pointed out, fat guys get women, ugly guys get women, so most average women don't only look for the hottest men as some others have insisted.

So he totally SHOULD ask out women he's attracted to. Hell he even has a right to ask out super models if he thinks there's a chance My point was that he shouldn't be mad if women also have their own standards that don't include him.

 

 

Is it fair for him to be mad if nobody's standards include him?

[Pierre]

In retrospect, when I was young and in the university:

 

I was relaxed and had no expectations.

 

Conversation topics were never pre-planned . I said whatever came to mind and often used our surroundings and situation to strike a conversation. If you are in the university there are zillion topics that can be explored because the two of you have a lot in common.

[xxoo]

KathyM: If I don't find "average" looking girls attractive then could you explain why I would want to approach them?

 

To get comfortable with women, to get to know their friends, to maybe really connect and find that you ARE attracted afterall.

 

You sound like an "average" looking guy, from your own descriptions. Why should very attractive girls (who have a lot of men competing for their attention) give you their time if they aren't attracted to you? I don't mean to knock you down, but turn around what you are saying about average girls and see it from the perspective of a woman.

 

There is nothing wrong with being average. Average people fall in love and have great sex, just like hot people.

 

As for your height, don't worry about that. There is NOTHING you can do to change it, so why worry about it? Accept it, own it, and forget about it.

 

I have swooned for men your height before Regular guys, but they were so charming, and smelled sooooo good, and I just swooned!

[tman666]

 

attractive women get hit on all the time. I'm sure they are at the point where getting hit on isn't fun anymore and becomes an annoyance (unless thy find the guy attractive). What it seems like to me.

 

From my experiences and from what I've heard from other people, unless a woman is attracted to you then a guy looks like a loser when he compliments her on her appearance. If she is attracted to you then it can actually make her like you more.

 

AH HA!

 

It's elementary, dear Watson!

 

You ASSUME that girls you find attractive get hit on all the time, and that they are annoyed by your presence. This is a poor assumption because there are a ton of guys who think the exact same way. There are many beauties who never get hit on because all the guys are thinking "oh gee, well, she gets hit on 24/7. I'd probably be the straw that breaks the camel's back if I hit on her, and I'll end up getting a drink thrown in my face".

 

I think you're putting way too much pressure on yourself to try and be smooth and not offend her in any way. Just have a conversation. Make little jokes, talk about yourself, find common ground. If you can avoid the dull subjects that EVERYONE talks about (what's your major, how do you like your classes, where are you from, blah blah blah), the more interesting you'll appear to her.

 

The more you practice just talking to females of all ages, shapes and sizes, the more comfortable you'll get finding your groove. The biggest mistake that it seems like guys like you make is thinking that you need to find a girlfriend RIGHT NOW, and that getting a girl will solve your problems. You need to work on improving your social skills and confidence, and the only way to do this is to practice conversing. You have to walk before you can run.

[Queen Zenobia]

You have to walk before you can run.

 

Unless you're Tony Stark...

[GoodOnPaper]

The biggest mistake that it seems like guys like you make is thinking that you need to find a girlfriend RIGHT NOW, and that getting a girl will solve your problems.

 

To the OP, I second this. Conquering THIS is at least half the battle and the fact that I never did is my biggest regret. For some, the attraction/dating game is more of a marathon than a sprint -- even when it seems like everyone else is sprinting to success. I wish I had good advice on how to establish more of a long-term mindset when it comes to women, but I think that's what you need to try. Lower the expectations for short-term results if you can.

[somedude81]

The biggest mistake that it seems like guys like you make is thinking that you need to find a girlfriend RIGHT NOW, and that getting a girl will solve your problems.

To the OP, I second this. Conquering THIS is at least half the battle and the fact that I never did is my biggest regret. For some, the attraction/dating game is more of a marathon than a sprint -- even when it seems like everyone else is sprinting to success. I wish I had good advice on how to establish more of a long-term mindset when it comes to women, but I think that's what you need to try. Lower the expectations for short-term results if you can.

And what proof is there that getting a girlfriend won't solve your problems?

 

If you're sad because you don't have something, wouldn't getting that thing make you stop feeling sad?

 

I've needed a girlfriend "right now" for the past ten years...

[AmEricanWomann]

Is it fair for him to be mad if nobody's standards include him?

 

You know, I'm going to change what I said, just a bit. Sure he's allowed to be mad, because we have a right to our own feelings. So, I take back saying that he shouldn't be mad. There's no such thing as thought crime. However, I stick by what I said earlier about standards. He has a right to have standards, but women do as well.

 

The problem with his anger is that it does nothing positive for him at all. He will always think the worst about women because he assumes none of them want him. Talk about your self fullfilling prophesy. He met a girl, he talked to her, she smiled at him, but instead of taking that smile as her being friendly, or perhaps even liking him, he insists that it was a smirk that said she thought he should be grateful to even be talking to her. Then when she asks a follow up question, he's so mad that instead of using it as a lead in to a conversation, he blows her off and then gets angry when she talks to another guy who actually seems interested in her.

 

Make no mistake, I understand that he's at a great disadvantage being

5 foot 3. I'm not going to sugar coat anything, most women do like a man to be taller than them. But that doesnt mean he can't ever get a woman.Yes, even some shorter women might want a guy who is 6 feet tall, but I know others that are rather scared of a man so big and for those women,as long as he's an inch or two taller than them, he may be just what they're looking for. If he's nice and doesn't act hostile towards them, he might just have a chance.

[KathyM]

To get comfortable with women, to get to know their friends, to maybe really connect and find that you ARE attracted afterall.

 

You sound like an "average" looking guy, from your own descriptions. Why should very attractive girls (who have a lot of men competing for their attention) give you their time if they aren't attracted to you? I don't mean to knock you down, but turn around what you are saying about average girls and see it from the perspective of a woman.

 

There is nothing wrong with being average. Average people fall in love and have great sex, just like hot people.

 

As for your height, don't worry about that. There is NOTHING you can do to change it, so why worry about it? Accept it, own it, and forget about it.

 

I have swooned for men your height before Regular guys, but they were so charming, and smelled sooooo good, and I just swooned!

The bolded is the point I'm trying to make. You expect to only have an attractive woman, but yet you say you yourself are not attractive. If you want to date women, you're going to have to learn to find attractiveness in other things besides physical beauty. And as harsh as it may sound (but it's the truth), most women want someone at least as tall as they are. If you start approaching women who are shorter than you, you will have better luck.

[xxoo]

I agree that you need to take a longer-range view of women.

 

For one, you only approach women you are attracted to. That means you only approach women as potential dates. Can you imagine NO other reason to approach a woman and strike up a conversation other than wanting to date her? Are women invaluable in your life, outside of romantic interest?

 

Why not take up an activity that will require you to talk to a lot of men and women, regardless of who they are. Maybe volunteer to hand out flyers for some cool event on campus. Be bold, and talk to every girl that comes by, offering her a flyer. Flirt, just to entertain yourself passing the hours. Just have fun talking to PEOPLE on campus, women included.

 

Then, the next time you see a girl, you might get the "Oh, hi!" reaction that the other guy did....because she remembered you handing out the flyers when you were relaxed and having fun.

[tman666]

I've needed a girlfriend "right now" for the past ten years...

 

Dude, the proof is all around you... Look at the guys with girlfriends. Did they attract women by being beggars? Nope.

 

Did they attract women by being sad and relying on another person to make them happy, thus shifting the responsibility for their happiness onto the poor girl who chooses to date them? Nope.

 

Did they attract women by being incomplete people before the girl was in the picture? Nope.

 

Are you starting to see a pattern here? Take responsibility for your life. You think a girl is going to fix you, and every single one of them can sniff you out from miles away, despite your claims. You live in Southern California for ****s sake. It's not like you're stuck in a trailer in the middle of Wyoming or something. You live in a diverse area where there are endless things to get involved with.

 

This thread isn't about you though, so we'll leave it at that.

[fortyninethousand322]

You know, I'm going to change what I said, just a bit. Sure he's allowed to be mad, because we have a right to our own feelings. So, I take back saying that he shouldn't be mad. There's no such thing as thought crime. However, I stick by what I said earlier about standards. He has a right to have standards, but women do as well.

 

The problem with his anger is that it does nothing positive for him at all. He will always think the worst about women because he assumes none of them want him. Talk about your self fullfilling prophesy. He met a girl, he talked to her, she smiled at him, but instead of taking that smile as her being friendly, or perhaps even liking him, he insists that it was a smirk that said she thought he should be grateful to even be talking to her. Then when she asks a follow up question, he's so mad that instead of using it as a lead in to a conversation, he blows her off and then gets angry when she talks to another guy who actually seems interested in her.

 

Make no mistake, I understand that he's at a great disadvantage being

5 foot 3. I'm not going to sugar coat anything, most women do like a man to be taller than them. But that doesnt mean he can't ever get a woman.Yes, even some shorter women might want a guy who is 6 feet tall, but I know others that are rather scared of a man so big and for those women,as long as he's an inch or two taller than them, he may be just what they're looking for. If he's nice and doesn't act hostile towards them, he might just have a chance.

 

I think the height thing is over exaggerated. I'm just shy of six feet and I'm in exactly the same position as the OP. I also now several shorter men with good looking girlfriends. Height has given me no demonstrable advantage.

 

As far as him thinking her smile was a smirk, well I think that's a default mode for guys who aren't accustomed to getting female attention. When you're a late bloomer in terms of dating you start to get some wacky ideas (like maybe women have sort of conspired to keep you perpetually single, or that women delight in your specific inability to have success with dating, etc.). This is in large part why I think people should be on a timetable in terms of dating and relationships. By 18 you should have at least kissed, 21 sex, and 25 at least a semi-serious relationship. Because every day beyond those cutoff points you become exponentially behind your peers and you develop and inability to relate to and develop adult romantic relationships. I also think that there are people for whom romance and relationships never come, which is also a possibility the OP needs to confront and people shouldn't ignore.

[somedude81]

Dude, the proof is all around you... Look at the guys with girlfriends. Did they attract women by being beggars? Nope.

 

Did they attract women by being sad and relying on another person to make them happy, thus shifting the responsibility for their happiness onto the poor girl who chooses to date them? Nope.

 

Did they attract women by being incomplete people before the girl was in the picture? Nope.

 

Are you starting to see a pattern here? Take responsibility for your life. You think a girl is going to fix you, and every single one of them can sniff you out from miles away, despite your claims. You live in Southern California for ****s sake. It's not like you're stuck in a trailer in the middle of Wyoming or something. You live in a diverse area where there are endless things to get involved with.

This thread isn't about you though, so we'll leave it at that.

Then forget the part about me.

 

The main point of my post was my first sentence which I quoted from you.

 

What proof is there, if any, that getting a girl will not solve ones problems, when those problems are caused by not having a girl?

 

Questioning how guys attracted the women they are with is not an answer to that question.

[AD1980]

The worst is appraoching a women and she makes eye contact with her friend to get her away from you and the friend comes and pulls her away..makes you feel like crap..

 

As far as the league thing it doesnt guarantee anything,,Ive been rejected by plenty of blah looking women i wasnt that attracted to and rejected rather harshly..

 

If im gonna get rejected anyway i might as well approach women im actually attracted to..

[tman666]

What proof is there, if any, that getting a girl will not solve ones problems, when those problems are caused by not having a girl?

 

There you go again, shifting the blame to someone else other than you. Man, I feel sorry for you if you plan on going through life honestly believing that other people can and should solve your problems. Do you want your future wife to wipe your ass too? Your attitude towards life screams "I need to be bottle fed" and everyone can see it.

 

You also make the assumption that not having a girl is the cause of your problems. To counter, what proof do YOU have that your problems are, IN FACT, caused by the absence of a female companion? Your entire argument hinges on that assumption.

 

And there's plenty of anecdotal proof that a girl will not solve your problems. If a broken guy gets into a relationship with a non-broken girl (and vice versa), 2 things can occur: the relationship goes sour, but he stays in it because he doesn't have the balls to live his own life, or it doesn't last very long and dissolves quickly. Relationships with staying power are formed when there are two people who were happy being themselves before the relationship and have common interest in each other.

 

Would you want to date you?

[carhill]

OP, question, since some posters are trying to guage how you determine attractiveness:

 

Take a look at a picture a LS'er posted of herself (young lady in yellow and black) in a thread about 'what am I doing wrong?' where she laments being able to attract a man and, in subsequent threads, she has described herself as unattractive and even ugly a couple of times. You're 5'3"; she's 5'1". She's in your age range and IIRC that picture was taken at a comic/sci-fi convention. What say you?

 

This may assist in understanding how you perceive women, as each of us is unique in what/who we consider attractive physically.

 

Lastly, read the thread. Any insight?

[fortyninethousand322]

 

And there's plenty of anecdotal proof that a girl will not solve your problems. If a broken guy gets into a relationship with a non-broken girl (and vice versa), 2 things can occur: the relationship goes sour, but he stays in it because he doesn't have the balls to live his own life, or it doesn't last very long and dissolves quickly. Relationships with staying power are formed when there are two people who were happy being themselves before the relationship and have common interest in each other.

 

This is true. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I ever get a girlfriend it's going to take a lot for me to get out of the relationship no matter how sour it gets. It's simple: if you know that the girl you're with is the only girl who would have you, why would you risk being alone just to have pride in yourself?

 

Again, this is largely why guys should start dating as soon as humanly possible, so they avoid falling into this trap.

[nyc_guy2003]

Take a look at a picture a LS'er posted of herself (young lady in yellow and black)

 

Personally I think the Robin Hood chick is kind of hot. She looks like she could be short though.

[somedude81]

tman666, as you said earlier, this thread isn't about me, so I"m not gong to address any points made to me. Feel free to re-post in my thread in the self-improvement section and I'll address it.

If a broken guy gets into a relationship with a non-broken girl (and vice versa), 2 things can occur: the relationship goes sour, but he stays in it because he doesn't have the balls to live his own life, or it doesn't last very long and dissolves quickly. Relationships with staying power are formed when there are two people who were happy being themselves before the relationship and have common interest in each other.

I'm sure there are more than two things that can occur in that situation. You obviously left out anything good.

 

Even in the situation where things do end, the guy will get some confidence from being in a relationship and will also get valuable experience on how to deal with, understand and interact with women.

 

Most important is that the belief that "nobody likes me" will be dissolved because somebody finally liked him enough to enter into a relationship.

[somedude81]

Personally I think the Robin Hood chick is kind of hot. She looks like she could be short though.

Not really a helpful post you know...

 

Either way it looks like she doesn't have any boobs.

 

verhrzn's costume does a very good job of attracting attention to her ample bosom

[fortyninethousand322]

 

verhrzn's costume does a very good job of attracting attention to her ample bosom

 

I think she's cute. I have no clue as to why guys aren't approaching her. Maybe her voice sounds like Louis Armstrong? I mean that's the only thing I can think of because her looks are clearly not the problem.

[nyc_guy2003]

I think she's cute. I have no clue as to why guys aren't approaching her. Maybe her voice sounds like Louis Armstrong? I mean that's the only thing I can think of because her looks are clearly not the problem.

 

Keep in mind that she's wearing a garter. There could be a mountain of flesh hiding behind that. Not saying there is, but if there was then that could be an explanation. I think we need a bikini pic to settle the issue.