No attention from women, becoming a very angry person.

[OnyxSnowfall]

It's the whole bad boy thing. Women will go after bad boys, even if they're broke and ugly looking.

 

SOME women do... if you want to delve behind it a little more thoroughly, there are patterns and more personal, intimate reasons as to why... a "theme" seems to be PEOPLE gravitate towards recreating their guardian type relationships... if that was bad and or lacking, they have no basis by which to begin to sculpt better.

 

But it's not just some standard blanket that can be laid over any person.

 

And even when there is a common blanket, it can be reversed. After multiple failed relationships in my own life, I really did just sit down and ask myself wtf is wrong. I have a "TYPE"... I don't go after the "bad boys" but I do go after "quiet/reserved, intelligent and generically *nice* but emotionally distant men" and... whatever, my father was that exact way. We never had any kind of real relationship and I pathetically always tried to change that. He was a smart, patient man that never brought up anything personal or deep... just very distant. While he was extremely reliable in practical matters, he would have nothing to do with any kind of other issues...

 

I am STILL attracted to similar qualities in men --- kind, quiet, patient and especially intelligent but... my current boyfriend was very different when we met in that, he was OPEN and very talkative. Kind, patient, intelligent, but capable of conversation. He was/is comfortable in his emotions. There was no me trying to futile get someone to open up and connect with me while I was involved with him... but in all of my prior relationships I would seriously only pick guys that seemed incapable of emotional discourse and stress out that they were.

 

I haven't been in a better relationship than the one i'm currently in either. I sometimes wonder if more people analyzed themselves and their situations, if they could come up with ways to change things and have more control in their lives in all kinds of manners.

 

Just saying, if you notice a pattern that women are attracted to *******s, there's probably some unfortunate thing at play to that and the woman just haven't grasped why yet. Some may be literally aroused at it without correlating it to anything beyond an unexplained sexual attraction but...

 

People drawn to situations where they're going to be hurt and hurt over and over again is just... there's something wrong.

[robertdawson]

AHardDaysNight: I know right? I don't know why guys aren't paying her attention. I wouldn't mind getting her phone number. Too bad she probably doesn't live anywhere near me

 

Easyguy14: i updated my other thread just a little bit ago.

[OnyxSnowfall]

(well I would have edited it but, since it's no longer an option lol, it's still peeving so: There was no me trying to futility* and... and the women* just haven't)

[verhrzn]

It's the whole bad boy thing. Women will go after bad boys, even if they're broke and ugly looking.

 

I don't think his situation is explained by the "bad boy" thing.... that's quite a stretch, to think women are hitting on him while he's wheeling out a corpse because they... want to be... that corpse?...

 

Me myself, I could see myself being attracted to a guy in that profession because it's rather unique. There's something quirky about being in the funeral business ("Six Feet Under," anybody?) So if a woman is a bit quirky or macabre herself, she might be drawn to someone who would choose that as their livelihood.

[AHardDaysNight]

I didn't mean that they wanted to be the corpse.

 

But why do bikers get so many women? I mean, they look ridiculous with their long hair, beards, and ripped jeans and bandannas?

 

It's because women are attracted to danger, and having a dangerous profession (working with corpses) is attractive to them. Same would be if they sky dived for a living, or were pilots, or...etc.

 

I've seen the men who are most successful with women are ones that have careers that are a bit risky. Men who are doctors, lawyers, psychologists, policemen...all are successful. That's because they have to risk being shot, stabbed, or hurt, because they're doing a dangerous job.

 

Take a good looking guy, throw him in a bookstore selling books, and I guarantee you he will be an involuntary celibate. Or a librarian. That's because books aren't dangerous (at least, normal ones).

 

Serial killers and pedophiles all seem to find partners. I don't understand why they would be more adept at raising a kid (especially pedos!) than someone who spends their life tending books.

 

The only time that books and pussy meet are when you're a successful writer, like Stephen King or James Patterson. And there are so many wanna-be writers out there (me included) that trying to get a book deal is like close to impossible, unless you have a hook (like Harry Potter or Twilight or something like that!)

[OnyxSnowfall]

Take a good looking guy, throw him in a bookstore selling books, and I guarantee you he will be an involuntary celibate. Or a librarian. That's because books aren't dangerous (at least, normal ones).

 

The only time that books and pussy meet are when you're a successful writer, like Stephen King or James Patterson. And there are so many wanna-be writers out there (me included) that trying to get a book deal is like close to impossible, unless you have a hook (like Harry Potter or Twilight or something like that!)

 

That's just so untrue LOL. One of the biggest things that attracted me to my boyfriend was his love of writing (he is not a professional writer, but he writes beautifully and it IS definitely alluring).

 

On top of that... book worms are also attractive (to me, at least).

 

As far as getting dangerous thrills go... that can be achieved without relying on a "dangerous" man...

[Queen Zenobia]

I didn't mean that they wanted to be the corpse.

 

But why do bikers get so many women? I mean, they look ridiculous with their long hair, beards, and ripped jeans and bandannas?

 

It's because women are attracted to danger, and having a dangerous profession (working with corpses) is attractive to them. Same would be if they sky dived for a living, or were pilots, or...etc.

 

I've seen the men who are most successful with women are ones that have careers that are a bit risky. Men who are doctors, lawyers, psychologists, policemen...all are successful. That's because they have to risk being shot, stabbed, or hurt, because they're doing a dangerous job.

 

Take a good looking guy, throw him in a bookstore selling books, and I guarantee you he will be an involuntary celibate. Or a librarian. That's because books aren't dangerous (at least, normal ones).

 

Serial killers and pedophiles all seem to find partners. I don't understand why they would be more adept at raising a kid (especially pedos!) than someone who spends their life tending books.

 

The only time that books and pussy meet are when you're a successful writer, like Stephen King or James Patterson. And there are so many wanna-be writers out there (me included) that trying to get a book deal is like close to impossible, unless you have a hook (like Harry Potter or Twilight or something like that!)

 

Let's not generalize here. My fiance is an economist, and while he does travel to some sketchy countries now for work, when I met him he was a lowly intern at the Federal Reserve. You know what kind of work that is? It's a bunch of reports about Quantitative Easing and interest rates, and treasury bond values. Definitely no danger involved in that. Granted, that kind of stuff interests me, but I definitely wasn't drawn to him because of his "dangerous" occupation.

[AHardDaysNight]

I guess I'm just drawing from real life examples here.

 

My sister is attracted to the bad boy type. She is also very attractive (she seems to have gotten all the good looks, while I have none.) I began to realize 10 years ago, when she dated a guy who pulled a gun on her and her children...and married the bastard...that that was the type of guy that most attractive women go for.

 

As for ver, she strikes me as a good looking geeky chick. Which means...she would go for a good looking nerd.

 

As an ugly nerd, though, this doesn't do me any favors...

[verhrzn]

I didn't mean that they wanted to be the corpse.

 

But why do bikers get so many women? I mean, they look ridiculous with their long hair, beards, and ripped jeans and bandannas?

 

It's because women are attracted to danger, and having a dangerous profession (working with corpses) is attractive to them. Same would be if they sky dived for a living, or were pilots, or...etc.

 

I've seen the men who are most successful with women are ones that have careers that are a bit risky. Men who are doctors, lawyers, psychologists, policemen...all are successful. That's because they have to risk being shot, stabbed, or hurt, because they're doing a dangerous job.

 

Take a good looking guy, throw him in a bookstore selling books, and I guarantee you he will be an involuntary celibate. Or a librarian. That's because books aren't dangerous (at least, normal ones).

 

Serial killers and pedophiles all seem to find partners. I don't understand why they would be more adept at raising a kid (especially pedos!) than someone who spends their life tending books.

 

The only time that books and pussy meet are when you're a successful writer, like Stephen King or James Patterson. And there are so many wanna-be writers out there (me included) that trying to get a book deal is like close to impossible, unless you have a hook (like Harry Potter or Twilight or something like that!)

 

Yes, bikers get women... who look like and fit in with bikers. When's the last time you saw a prim, librarian-type looking woman on the back of a hog? No, the kind of women you see with bikers are the kind of women who fit in with that lifestyle. They like biker dudes not necessarily because the guys are "dangerous" (which is a silly notion anyway, my high school band teacher was a "biker" and he was about as far from dangerous as you could get) but because they have a similar interest in a lifestyle/hobby.

 

I also disagree that women like doctors or cops because the job is "dangerous." My dad and uncles are both cops, and nearly all of the married men in their departments are married to nurses, teachers, or professions like that. My mom is a nurse (and my aunt is a teacher) and she's speculated that like attracts like.... Doctors, nurses, teachers, cops, all of them have a similar "service" mindset. They went into those professions to help people, to serve their community. Additionally, it seems that the men in those professions choose women who are "care givers"... women who are more nurturing or motherly by nature, perhaps because their line of work is so exhausting. If women were attracted to "dangerous" jobs like those, you'd see a far wider assortment of professions among wives, but it really does seem to be confined to women with like-minded jobs, perhaps because they're the only ones that understand the level of time and sacrifice those jobs entail.

 

Serial killers and pedophiles find partners because they're extremely skilled manipulators. Period. That's how they, ya know, get away with murdering and molesting others, because they have the entire world fooled. In fact, you could actually use them to argue AGAINST your point... The women who marry serial killers and pedophiles honestly believe them to be the gentlest, most charming men around, the exact opposite of the "dangerous" stereotype.

 

Also, that's absolutely ridiculous about men and books. Pick up ANY women's magazine with an article on "Where To Meet Guys" and I guarantee "bookstore" will be among the top five. I see a cute guy working at a bookstore, I say "ca-CHING!" Why? Because I love books, so seeing that a cute guy has a mutual hobby to me is an immediate turn-on.

 

Long story short, women want men with similar hobbies and lifestyles, and it has nothing to do with being "dangerous."

[OnyxSnowfall]

Which means...she would go for a good looking nerd.

 

As an ugly nerd, though, this doesn't do me any favors...

 

Also "generally" untrue. A lot of physically attractive women are with men that are blatantly unattractive (as far as symmetry and typical ideas go). Some because they find that those men appreciate them more (as such men tend to believe they're "lucky" etc) orrrr even because they actually fall in love with them.

 

Falling in love tends to make the person you've fallen in love with look exceedingly beautiful. "Flaws" become endearing and other features become exponentially gorgeous... it just is what it is.

[AHardDaysNight]

Also "generally" untrue. A lot of physically attractive women are with men that are blatantly unattractive (as far as symmetry and typical ideas go). Some because they find that those men appreciate them more (as such men tend to believe they're "lucky" etc) orrrr even because they actually fall in love with them.

 

Falling in love tends to make the person you've fallen in love with look exceedingly beautiful. "Flaws" become endearing and other features become exponentially gorgeous... it just is what it is.

 

Thanks for this, Onyx.

 

I guess I just need to be patient. But I'm approaching 30...my patience is waning. Now I'm just getting desperate!

[verhrzn]

Thanks for this, Onyx.

 

I guess I just need to be patient. But I'm approaching 30...my patience is waning. Now I'm just getting desperate!

 

I don't think you should be desperate. In fact, from everything I've heard and observed 30's seem to be the best time for guys to date... They are old enough that younger women who are ready to settle down will see them as more mature and stable than their peers, and older women will feel that you're not young enough that they're robbing the cradle but can still feel an ego stroke that a younger man likes them.

[AHardDaysNight]

Well, my biggest two strikes against me are A.) that I live at home, and B.) that I am out of work. Also, C.) that I still haven't finished college.

 

But maybe this will be a chance for me to date more mature college students who aren't ready to settle down?

[verhrzn]

Well, my biggest two strikes against me are A.) that I live at home, and B.) that I am out of work. Also, C.) that I still haven't finished college.

 

But maybe this will be a chance for me to date more mature college students who aren't ready to settle down?

 

C isn't too bad of a deal... varies from woman to woman. But living at home and being out of work may be bigger strikes, which to be fair, would you want to date a woman who was unemployed and still lived with her parents? Probably not.

 

Going back to school would probably be pretty awesome for you... you're still young enough to be seen as not-creepy, but old enough to seem worldly, and college really IS a great place to meet people.

[somedude81]

But living at home and being out of work may be bigger strikes, which to be fair, would you want to date a woman who was unemployed and still lived with her parents? Probably not.

Doesn't matter in the slightest. I don't care if she doesn't have a car either.

 

The only time her finances matter is if we get really serious, and may need another income to get by.

 

Going back to school would probably be pretty awesome for you... you're still young enough to be seen as not-creepy, but old enough to seem worldly, and college really IS a great place to meet people.

College is suppoed to be a great place to meet people.

 

But I've been going to a large, fairly popular school for four years and I haven't gotten anywhere with the girls there. Sure I meet lots of girls every semester, but none of them want to date me.

 

It's really sad having to settle for friendship when you want so much more.

[AHardDaysNight]

I would date a girl who lived at home and didn't have a job. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

 

The problem (for me, that is) is that women seem to have bigger strikes for things that wouldn't make a difference to me at all. I would date a female virgin who was 28...however, how many women will date me when I'm a virgin?

[Feelsgoodman]

It pretty much comes down to giving a f*ck. You can't be a "bad boy" and give a f*ck, the two things are mutually exclusive. Women like guys that don't give a f*ck. Thus, bad boys are over-represented in that population.

Yes...this pretty much sums it up.

[AHardDaysNight]

Yes...this pretty much sums it up.

 

Can you live at home and not have a job, and be attractive to women?

[verhrzn]

Can you live at home and not have a job, and be attractive to women?

 

You can, but frankly, I think for the majority of women it'd be a huge hurdle for them. For example, I wouldn't date a man, no matter how compatible he was otherwise, who didn't have a job and a place of his own (roommates in an apartment are totally fine) because that's where I am in life (financially independent and on my own.)

 

I date because I am looking for a long-term mate, and dating someone who isn't in that stage of life... ready for long term relationships/marriage/a family... would not be very productive, and frankly, just leads to a lot of frustration.

 

I had a long term boyfriend who I loved very deeply, but when he came back from a year-long stint in Japan, he couldn't find a job. I tried to tell myself it was no big deal... but it was. If we ever went out (movies, museums, coffee shops) I had to pay for everything, and I'm just not financially stable enough to carry another person. But I was annoyed, because I could finally afford those things for myself but could never do them because of who I was dating. If we wanted "private time" together, we would have to go to my house, because I can't handle the sheer awkwardness of making out with your boyfriend in his childhood bed with his parents right down the hall.... at 26 years old. Additionally, his lack of a job really ate away at his self-esteem and confidence; dating on such an uneven playing field was just a disaster.

 

Long story short, I couldn't do it. I think the women who can are women who are in your same situation... un- or under- employed and living with their folks. The two of you would be on equal grounds and understand each other.

 

And if a woman who is in your situation refuses to date you because you're like her, then you should forget her and be glad, as that is a hypocrite you did not want to waste your time with anyway.

[robertdawson]

Well, so much for getting anything useful out of this thread.

Edited August 28, 2011 by robertdawson

[Red Arremer]

How so? Granted there have been a lot of dumb derails, but there has been good advice scattered here and there.

[robertdawson]

Not that I can recall.

[Easyguy14]

I don't think his situation is explained by the "bad boy" thing.... that's quite a stretch, to think women are hitting on him while he's wheeling out a corpse because they... want to be... that corpse?...

 

Me myself, I could see myself being attracted to a guy in that profession because it's rather unique. There's something quirky about being in the funeral business ("Six Feet Under," anybody?) So if a woman is a bit quirky or macabre herself, she might be drawn to someone who would choose that as their livelihood.

 

exactly and I've also had women that aren't connected to that business show great interest, especially when I show some of the work I've done it always steals their interests, but they aren't the ones I wanna date, but I feel very confident I'll find "the one" because more women are getting into the business every year (attractive ones) and they'll naturally gravitate to the more established men to show them the way since we tend to deal with most of the handiwork.

[robertdawson]

ToeJam: do we have a problem?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

...I wanna date, but I feel very confident I'll find "the one" because more women are getting into the business every year (attractive ones) and they'll naturally gravitate to the more established men to show them the way since we tend to deal with most of the handiwork.

 

This post just gave me the creeps.