No attention from women, becoming a very angry person.

[fortyninethousand322]

I understand, its a bit mean. But blaming the world or the female gender isn't too healthy either. Carhill is right, the sooner one stops caring, the more girls will flock. Especially for the early twenties age. I hope one can really find the irony in that.

 

If saying "hello" or a casual conversation is the biggest risk he'll take, it ain't happening. What I mean by taking what you want, is that you got to be willing to take risks. Next time, you talk to a girl, flirt. Show your attraction, reason why "tools" get more women is cause they're not afraid to put themselves out there.

 

This is true. Which, in large part is why I've kind of realized it just ain't in the cards for me, I'm just never going to take any risks. It's not women's fault that I'm horrible with women, so I can't sympathize with blaming them. But I do understand the OP's frustration though.

[make me believe]

In the two examples that you gave, how do you know that the girls didn't already know those guys?? Just because the one was a freshman doesn't mean she didn't know him from high school or work or somewhere else. Also, in the first example you say she smirked and gave you a "you're so lucky to get to talk to me" look... and I find that hard to believe. If she really felt that way, she would have just said hi and then walked away/ignored you, or not even returned your greeting. Instead, she said hello and even asked you a follow-up question.

 

You sound really crazy, to be honest. Your strange rage seems to be coloring your experiences. The girl in your first example sounded totally normal & friendly to me.

[KathyM]

Sometimes average women can be picky and mean as well..

 

The whole approach only your league thing is tricky anyway..People dotn walk around with "im a 6" on their head

Average women can be picky, but they eventually realize that if they want a date or a boyfriend, they're going to have to accept guys in their league. Of course, there are couples where one is average and one attractive, but if the OP is striking out with the more attractive ones, I would suggest he try the average ones. He'll have more success.

[fortyninethousand322]

Achieve success and women will come.

 

Everybody knows the story about the nerd in high school that could not get a GF versus the jock that was a great athlete and had lots of women.

 

The 10 years go by: The nerd is now a doctor and the jock is unemployed. At this point the nerd gets all the women and the jock is a loser.

 

However, before getting there there are other avenues for success. A geek with amazing computer skills may get more women than a less geeky guy with no talent.

 

Just be very good at something. That will make you different and give you a lot of confidence. Educate yourself as much as you can. If you are in law school most women will not turn you down. If you are an engineer student on campus many women will instantly know you are smart. Many women cream their panties for intelligent men.

 

Also pick your target audience carefully. If you want admiration and attention go for women below your league.

 

Success in life is something you should pursue for yourself and for its own merits not because you think it's something that will help you get women. I can honestly say that if/when I get highly successful and women start suddenly giving me attention I will purposely avoid them and I will refuse to date them. If I"m not good enough for them when I'm starting out, then I'm not good enough for them when I become successful. Sounds like justice to me.

[SteveC80]

Notice when a women makes a thread like thid shes told how special she is and its the guys lose a man does it and hes told if hes not tall very handsome sucessful and charmign he better be rich to gain the accpetance of a women and we wonder why women are so entitled in this country:laugh:

[PJKino]

Average women can be picky, but they eventually realize that if they want a date or a boyfriend, they're going to have to accept guys in their league. Of course, there are couples where one is average and one attractive, but if the OP is striking out with the more attractive ones, I would suggest he try the average ones. He'll have more success.

 

But what is average? one person might be cute to one person ugly to another and average to somebody else..

 

Most people walking around are not 9's and 10's or 1's and 2's most are average or a little below or above..which can be subjective depending on whos judging

 

I dont think i have huge standards but i have to at least think the girl is somewhat cute..

 

Id rather be alone the rest of my life then with soemone i have no attraction to but is supposenly in my "league"

[KathyM]

Success in life is something you should pursue for yourself and for its own merits not because you think it's something that will help you get women. I can honestly say that if/when I get highly successful and women start suddenly giving me attention I will purposely avoid them and I will refuse to date them. If I"m not good enough for them when I'm starting out, then I'm not good enough for them when I become successful. Sounds like justice to me.

Don't bite your tongue to smite your face, dear boy. It's only natural that people want those that have the most going for them. When your stock increases (i.e., you establish a successful career), then you are more desirable to people. That's just life. Don't try to fight it. Have to work with it.

[oaks]

I know being that pissed off isn't healthy, but jesus, I don't even feel like I can help it anymore.

 

Ok, so you know it's a problem. Good start!. Go and get help. The professional kind, rather than the self-help internet forum kind.

[fortyninethousand322]

Don't bite your tongue to smite your face, dear boy. It's only natural that people want those that have the most going for them. When your stock increases (i.e., you establish a successful career), then you are more desirable to people. That's just life. Don't try to fight it. Have to work with it.

 

Then why don't women stay single until they hit success?

 

And, I'm the expert at smiting my face.

 

*edit: I also see broke college students dating all the time. Heck, I even see broke non-students dating all the time. Somehow I guess they have the most going for them I guess?

Edited August 25, 2011 by fortyninethousand322

[Mme. Chaucer]

OP:

 

The anger you are INDULGING IN is not helping you any.

 

I actually understand how you might be feeling, and even why anger might creep into your feelings.

 

BUT. You are not "entitled" to anything at all when it comes to relationships of any kind with people.

 

You come off in this post as if you think you are, and you're mad because you aren't getting what you think you deserve.

 

You DON'T "deserve."

 

Some guys and girls have "magnetism" or are real good looking or sexy, or have super good social gifts. Others do not.

 

Those of us who do not need to try harder to connect romantically or sexually with others than those who do.

 

Being all butthurt and pissy is not attractive. The scenario you described, where you spoke to a girl and she "smirked" (smiled?) at you and asked you a question about yourself, did not sound like anything to get mad about. But you immediately attributed bad qualities to her (thinking that you were just lucky she spoke to you).

 

That's no way to get anywhere.

 

If you read these boards, you will find a lot of contributions from very bitter young men who are just electric with anger towards women first, and towards guys who are successful with women second. Read those threads and posts. Do you want to be just like them? I don't think so.

 

Try to be open. Think about what's interesting about people you meet and talk to, whether they are male or female. Try to connect. Make more friends. Get involved in things that have a social side to them. Meet more people. Try to HAVE FUN and enjoy people rather than wallowing in anger and staying focussed on what you don't have that you perceive others do.

 

Try to lose the anger. The much hated advice to "work on your confidence" is good advice. A person who is very good at what they do or passionate about something in life gains confidence and is pretty compelling. A person who is walking around bristling with self-righteous anger is not.

[KathyM]

But what is average? one person might be cute to one person ugly to another and average to somebody else..

 

Most people walking around are not 9's and 10's or 1's and 2's most are average or a little below or above..which can be subjective depending on whos judging

 

I dont think i have huge standards but i have to at least think the girl is somewhat cute..

 

Id rather be alone the rest of my life then with soemone i have no attraction to but is supposenly in my "league"

Beauty is not really that subjective. There is a general concensus. Not only are we programmed by the media about what constitutes attractiveness, but studies show that certain facial characteristics cause a more favorable response from people. And certainly weight is an issue about what is considered more attractive to most people. Not really that subjective. So you'd rather be alone than be with an average-looking girl? Some girls feel the same way. They'd rather be alone than settle for someone that is in their league. Why do people feel they have a right to be selective, but the other person isn't supposed to be? If you want a girl, look for one in your league. You'll have more success.

[fortyninethousand322]

I feel as if I get absolutely zero attention from women. Nearly twenty-f'in-three and never done more than hung out a couple times with a girl.

 

While your frustration is justified (who wants to be celibate for life?) I do think you should practice safer ways to express that frustration. Cutting off a car in traffic is probably not the best idea.

 

Now, as for what I quoted above. You won't get very much sympathy or help from this board for your predicament. Most people here give advice like "try" or "get confidence", etc. and most of the people here can't relate to a virgin guy passed 20 or so. Most think that you should be experienced and that there's no excuse for not being so. There are of course some who are sympathetic but they are few and far between. A lot of people will just blame you for being bad with women.

 

Being in your situation I completely understand where you're coming from. And I wish you luck in getting where you want to be.

[PJKino]

Beauty is not really that subjective. There is a general concensus. Not only are we programmed by the media about what constitutes attractiveness, but studies show that certain facial characteristics cause a more favorable response from people. And certainly weight is an issue about what is considered more attractive to most people. Not really that subjective. So you'd rather be alone than be with an average-looking girl? Some girls feel the same way. They'd rather be alone than settle for someone that is in their league. Why do people feel they have a right to be selective, but the other person isn't supposed to be? If you want a girl, look for one in your league. You'll have more success.

 

Once again im not talking 9's and 10's im talking most of the population.. a lot of "cuteness" is subjective not the few percent who are drop dead gorgeeous or handsome and on covers of magazines..

 

Of course weight is an issue..im not fat nor am i attracted to fat women but it doesnt mean the girl has to be really skinny..

 

AS far as beign selective i never said people dont have a right to be where did you get that?

 

I simply said im selective and would rather be alone then with someone i have no attration to..I never said women dont have a right to be selective..

[KathyM]

Then why don't women stay single until they hit success?

 

And, I'm the expert at smiting my face.

 

*edit: I also see broke college students dating all the time. Heck, I even see broke non-students dating all the time. Somehow I guess they have the most going for them I guess?

I'll tell you why the broke college students are dating. They have found a match (or potential match). If the guy has other things going for him, he'll get dates. It's all about finding a match. Someone you are equal to in appearance, or if one is not as attractive as his date, he has something else really good going for him, such as being a gifted athlete, or other attributes. Most people I see together are a match physically.

[PJKino]

I'll tell you why the broke college students are dating. They have found a match (or potential match). If the guy has other things going for him, he'll get dates. It's all about finding a match. Someone you are equal to in appearance, or if one is not as attractive as his date, he has something else really good going for him, such as being a gifted athlete, or other attributes. Most people I see together are a match physically.

 

You must have an innate ability to match peoples attratcivness level..I have no idea looking at women who is my equal or exact match unless the women looked like me with a wig on or something..

 

You act like detecting whos on your level in terms of looks is easy..

[somedude81]

So you'd rather be alone than be with an average-looking girl? Some girls feel the same way. They'd rather be alone than settle for someone that is in their league. Why do people feel they have a right to be selective, but the other person isn't supposed to be? If you want a girl, look for one in your league. You'll have more success.

That's a common misconception. Most guys who do bad with women, are not waiting for a beauty. They will be fine with an average looking girl.

 

On the other end, I've known several girls who would rather be alone than be with somebody in their league.

 

And then there are the girls who are content being sex toys for the guys that are out of their league. Also known as FWB.

[KathyM]

Once again im not talking 9's and 10's im talking most of the population.. a lot of "cuteness" is subjective not the few percent who are drop dead gorgeeous or handsome and on covers of magazines..

 

Of course weight is an issue..im not fat nor am i attracted to fat women but it doesnt mean the girl has to be really skinny..

 

AS far as beign selective i never said people dont have a right to be where did you get that?

 

I simply said im selective and would rather be alone then with someone i have no attration to..I never said women dont have a right to be selective..

There's a reason you guys aren't getting dates. You're either too selective for what you're bringing to the table, or you have an attitute problem that would turn off any woman, or you don't know how to approach women and don't have the nerve to ask for a date. Or some combination of the above.

[Content]

That's a common misconception. Most guys who do bad with women, are not waiting for a beauty. They will be fine with an average looking girl.

 

On the other end, I've known several girls who would rather be alone than be with somebody in their league.

 

And then there are the girls who are content being sex toys for the guys that are out of their league. Also known as FWB.

 

That is true most average women have a more inflated view of where they stand then your average Man..Your average Man has to go through tons of rejections at a time to finally get a yes. Since evne good looking guys will have flings with women below them your average women might take that fling with the hot guy and think shes in his league and is entitled to a hot guy.

[fortyninethousand322]

There's a reason you guys aren't getting dates. You're either too selective for what you're bringing to the table, or you have an attitute problem that would turn off any woman, or you don't know how to approach women and don't have the nerve to ask for a date. Or some combination of the above.

 

Well I can guarantee you that I'm not trying to date supermodels. And I'm pretty sure I'm not elephant man ugly.

 

I don't really know what kind of attitude I give off to women. I don't think it's a bad one, but I really don't know for sure.

 

And yeah, I absolutely do not know how to approach women and I usually don't have the nerve to ask for a date. So therefore I don't approach women and I don't ask them out.

 

How exactly does this help me though, other than to reinforce my original thought that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life?

[Star Gazer]

Why do people feel they have a right to be selective, but the other person isn't supposed to be? If you want a girl, look for one in your league. You'll have more success.

 

Exactly my point.

[verhrzn]

While your frustration is justified (who wants to be celibate for life?) I do think you should practice safer ways to express that frustration. Cutting off a car in traffic is probably not the best idea.

 

Now, as for what I quoted above. You won't get very much sympathy or help from this board for your predicament. Most people here give advice like "try" or "get confidence", etc. and most of the people here can't relate to a virgin guy passed 20 or so. Most think that you should be experienced and that there's no excuse for not being so. There are of course some who are sympathetic but they are few and far between. A lot of people will just blame you for being bad with women.

 

Being in your situation I completely understand where you're coming from. And I wish you luck in getting where you want to be.

 

I don't blame him for being bad with women. I blame him for blaming WOMEN that he's bad with women. Me, Madam C and Make_Me_Believe all pointed out that his scenarios are ridiculous, and that he's getting angry at the women for going after "douches" when he's judging these women based on very faulty evidence!

 

I understand being bad with people. I am apparently AWFUL with men. But it really does need to begin with me.. I am the only thing I have control over in the world. I therefore have to effect a change within myself to see a change in the world around me, whether that be change by perspective (confidence and attitude), circumstances (gaining wealth/plastic surgery) or sheer dumb luck.

 

To be honest, I try to come to these threads with an open mind, but my own life experiences make me very jaded and bitter towards this topic. I see scores and scores of men complaining about how women don't pay them any attention, cause they're short or not super hot or not successful enough... and then turn around and reject women for those very same reasons.

[KathyM]

You must have an innate ability to match peoples attratcivness level..I have no idea looking at women who is my equal or exact match unless the women looked like me with a wig on or something..

 

You act like detecting whos on your level in terms of looks is easy..

It is innate, believe it or not. I've watched a documentary on T.V. a while back where infants were shown pictures of women, and they naturally gravitated towards the pictures that had certain characteristics (such as high cheekbones, symmetrical face, etc.) This is not rocket science, dear boy. If the attractive girls aren't giving you the time of day, then approach the average-looking girls. A relationship with a woman is a wonderful thing, and well worth seeking. Companionship from a woman is very fulfilling for men. People weren't meant to be alone. Just adjust your standards to realistic ones, and work on yourself to be the best you can be. If you want quality, you have to be quality yourself. And a lot of things goes into that.

[fortyninethousand322]

 

To be honest, I try to come to these threads with an open mind, but my own life experiences make me very jaded and bitter towards this topic. I see scores and scores of men complaining about how women don't pay them any attention, cause they're short or not super hot or not successful enough... and then turn around and reject women for those very same reasons.

 

Yeah I get that and I'm not saying it doesn't happen to women too. But that being said, I have met or heard of far more men than women who have zero experience with the opposite sex at an older (21+) age. Now, this could be because there are more young men than women in the U.S. which accounts for it, but I really don't know. Someone more knowledgeable in sex and sociology would probably be more qualified to figure that out than I would.

 

I personally don't blame women. And neither should the OP. It's our own fault that we're so bad and to be honest I think we need to get over it and learn how to live without romantic relationships.

[Jynxx]

If you want to get women you need to become a successful man.

 

A doctor, no matter how nerdy will have no trouble finding a nurse that wants to sleep with him.

 

The same can be said about a lawyer in a law firm, a successful athlete, a talented musician, a business owner, etc.

 

If you are a low level employee then women are not turned on unless you are very good looking and know how to talk to women.

 

This advice is terrible and wrong on so many levels.

[PJKino]

It is innate, believe it or not. I've watched a documentary on T.V. a while back where infants were shown pictures of women, and they naturally gravitated towards the pictures that had certain characteristics (such as high cheekbones, symmetrical face, etc.) This is not rocket science, dear boy. If the attractive girls aren't giving you the time of day, then approach the average-looking girls. A relationship with a woman is a wonderful thing, and well worth seeking. Companionship from a woman is very fulfilling for men. People weren't meant to be alone. Just adjust your standards to realistic ones, and work on yourself to be the best you can be. If you want quality, you have to be quality yourself. And a lot of things goes into that.

 

Once again i have no idea whos on my level..its not as easy as you make it seem

 

Sounds like your suggesting to approach women i dont think are that attractive because i have a better shot at a yes

 

Not exactly a great or romantic way to try to start an approach or relationship

 

"hey babe remember when i approached you it was because i thought u were rather ehh looking and not overly attractive and figured id have a better shot at you saying yes then someone attractive:laugh: