fortyninethousand322 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Keep in mind that she's wearing a garter. There could be a mountain of flesh hiding behind that. Not saying there is, but if there was then that could be an explanation. I think we need a bikini pic to settle the issue. Perhaps. But men are the usually the ones who store weight in their stomach, not women. And the rest of her looks fairly thin... Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) Perhaps. But men are the usually the ones who store weight in their stomach, not women. And the rest of her looks fairly thin... LOL... that was clearly an attempt at him trying to get the "privilege" to see more (or allude to the fact he'd even want to)... I don't think he was being serious about the weight ... if so, oops =B Edited August 26, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Zenobia Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 LOL... that was clearly an attempt at him trying to get the "privilege" to see more (or allude to the fact he'd even want to)... I don't think he was being serious about the weight ... if so, oops =B Viewed in the context of his other comments I think it was a deliberate attempt to be provocative. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Keep in mind that she's wearing a garter. There could be a mountain of flesh hiding behind that. Not saying there is, but if there was then that could be an explanation. I think we need a bikini pic to settle the issue. Screw you, jerk... This thread isn't even about me, and yet here I find you getting your slimy assumptions all over me and my friend. Yeah I'm wearing a corset. So is she. And yeah, I know she's hotter than me. Hell she was easiest in the top 5 hottest girls there (she's also very sweet and married to the guy dressed as Batman.) Also, she's a tiny bit taller than me. I am 5'1" and she is 5'3". Happy now? Got your point across? Can we go back to discuss the OP's problem instead of reminding me again that you think I'm fat and not as hot? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I know exactly how you feel and I'm turning 30 next week... I wish there was an answer. Now wait for the generic advice to "improve on your confidence" and to "work out" to be posted by people who want to help but really don't have a clue what to say. There's no point in giving advice because guys like the OP won't take it anyway. What if I told him that his odds with women would improve astronomically if he became a "douche" (to use the OPs expression) and started associating with other douches? It's no coincidence that in both instances, the girls were interested in guys he saw as "douches". Girls simply love that type of guys. It's a fact of life. The problem with "nice guys" is their defective socialization, courtesy of well-meaning but clueless adults in their lives (parents, teachers, etc.) The guys that are the most successful with women are the ones that have been brainwashed by society the least. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 There's no point in giving advice because guys like the OP won't take it anyway. What if I told him that his odds with women would improve astronomically if he became a "douche" (to use the OPs expression) and started associating with other douches? It's no coincidence that in both instances, the girls were interested in guys he saw as "douches". Girls simply love that type of guys. It's a fact of life. The problem with "nice guys" is their defective socialization, courtesy of well-meaning but clueless adults in their lives (parents, teachers, etc.) The guys that are the most successful with women are the ones that have been brainwashed by society the least. The only thing those douches have that the "nice guys" do not is confidence. They had the confidence to show interest in the girl they were interested in, instead of automatically assuming she was shooting him down/smirking/rejecting him. And look how the girl responded when the guy approached her with confidence... favorably. And what, exactly, makes the guys in the OP's story "douches?" Just because they got the girl and he didn't? The only evidence he gives are impressions (and the one guy was using an iPad...?) of people he observed in a very limited capacity, whom he barely knows, and already had a vendetta against. Women on this board have said it over and over again... nice guys DO get women. Most women DON'T like douches (some women do, just like some men like hard-nosed b*tches.) What women don't like are Nice Guys, or guys with confidence/angry issues. The reason it SEEMS like women go for douches is because douches have confidence. THAT'S what's attractive... not the douchiness but the confidence. Now if you can't be confident without being douche, yeah, you will attract women; but it will probably be women you neither respect nor really fit well with. Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Zenobia Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 There's no point in giving advice because guys like the OP won't take it anyway. What if I told him that his odds with women would improve astronomically if he became a "douche" (to use the OPs expression) and started associating with other douches? It's no coincidence that in both instances, the girls were interested in guys he saw as "douches". Girls simply love that type of guys. It's a fact of life. The problem with "nice guys" is their defective socialization, courtesy of well-meaning but clueless adults in their lives (parents, teachers, etc.) The guys that are the most successful with women are the ones that have been brainwashed by society the least. You know, to a large extent this is true. Most of these good intentions were trying to make guys understand that pressuring women into sex or generally treating women poorly was bad. All very noble ideals. But the problem is that it seems like that strategy has only made the timid guys that much more so. Thus, it just eliminated the only competition the "douches" had. No wonder they're dominating the dating scene. Link to post Share on other sites
Author robertdawson Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 Going off topic some... verhrzn: I see absolutely nothing wrong with you. Without trying to make you uncomfortable: your body looks great in that picture and you have a cute face. I don't know about your hair because you've got a hat on. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Not really a helpful post you know... Either way it looks like she doesn't have any boobs. verhzn -- can you confirm whether your Robin Hood friend has any b00bs or not? Inquiring minds would like to know. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Now if you can't be confident without being douche, yeah, you will attract women; but it will probably be women you neither respect nor really fit well with. Better than nothing... Link to post Share on other sites
homersheineken Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Screw you, jerk... This thread isn't even about me, and yet here I find you getting your slimy assumptions all over me and my friend. Yeah I'm wearing a corset. So is she. And yeah, I know she's hotter than me. Hell she was easiest in the top 5 hottest girls there (she's also very sweet and married to the guy dressed as Batman.) Also, she's a tiny bit taller than me. I am 5'1" and she is 5'3". Happy now? Got your point across? Can we go back to discuss the OP's problem instead of reminding me again that you think I'm fat and not as hot? This makes me even more attracted Link to post Share on other sites
Author robertdawson Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 nycguy: quit being a jackass. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 verhzn -- can you confirm whether your Robin Hood friend has any b00bs or not? Inquiring minds would like to know. Inquiring minds should go stick themselves in blenders. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Inquiring minds should go stick themselves in blenders. Well if he's only sticking his mind in the blender, you're not going to need a very big one... Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Women on this board have said it over and over again... nice guys DO get women. The women they want?? or is it more of a take-what-you-can-get deal? Having to take the latter approach isn't much fun . . . that's the problem with telling a guy to "lower" his standards. Down the road, does he really want to be a position where he'd have to say that he thought of his wife as "average"? The reason it SEEMS like women go for douches is because douches have confidence. THAT'S what's attractive... not the douchiness but the confidence. Even with confidence issues aside, if I see a woman respond favorably to an approach from a guy whose looks and personality are very different from mine, I'm going to figure that I am in no way her "type". So for those of us with "nice guy" tendencies, it can be hard to wrap around our brains that the same confidence will work on the same woman even if it's from guys with very different looks/personalities. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Going off topic some... verhrzn: I see absolutely nothing wrong with you. Without trying to make you uncomfortable: your body looks great in that picture and you have a cute face. I don't know about your hair because you've got a hat on. OP, thank you. Now those posters who were uncertain about your idea of 'attractive' can now put it in better perspective. Women of verhrzn's style and appearance comprised the largest group of women I approached to date in my 20's and early 30's. They also comprised the largest group of rejections. The 'friend-zone' dynamics tended to happen more with women who perceived themselves as 'hotter' than the example I provided here. Note my emphasis on 'perceived themselves'. TBH, most of the anger dissipated once I started traveling and enjoying women around the world. Your path may be different but my relatively rural locale was pretty myopic in many ways, so getting out of it was enlightening. Suggestion: This year, make one good male and one good female friend. If romance happens along the way with a chance meeting or encounter, it does. Focus on enjoying friends and being a good friend. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 nycguy: quit being a jackass. Sticking up for your new girl I see. Good for you! Looks like a new LS match has been made. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 The women they want?? or is it more of a take-what-you-can-get deal? Having to take the latter approach isn't much fun . . . that's the problem with telling a guy to "lower" his standards. Down the road, does he really want to be a position where he'd have to say that he thought of his wife as "average"? Even with confidence issues aside, if I see a woman respond favorably to an approach from a guy whose looks and personality are very different from mine, I'm going to figure that I am in no way her "type". So for those of us with "nice guy" tendencies, it can be hard to wrap around our brains that the same confidence will work on the same woman even if it's from guys with very different looks/personalities. It depends on what kind of woman you want. Do you want a woman who responds to douchiness? Then isn't she more of a trophy... something that you can just prove you can get, because it's obviously not her personality you're into (that, or you prefer women who are into jerks, which speaks loudly of your own bad taste.) Or, do you want a woman who appreciates and loves kind-hearted confidence? The kind of woman who will like who you are? Confidence is not the act of changing yourself... Confidence is the act of accepting and loving yourself and projecting out the best version of you. If a woman doesn't want you when you're confident... She doesn't want you. End of story. It is nothing personal and it doesn't mean NO woman would ever want you. Confidence isn't meant to get you what you want... It's meant to open you up to possibilities. Let's say there's a woman out there who could whole heartedly love who you are. Your lack of confidence may be hiding you from her, or she may assume the signals that come from a lack of confidence are actually disinterest in her. However if you're confident, she can suddenly see you... it's like standing out from the crowd. There are some women who, even when you're confident, are just not gonna like you or click with you. Why focus on those women? Why focus on what you can't have? Link to post Share on other sites
chphan Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I dont think i have huge standards but i have to at least think the girl is somewhat cute.. Id rather be alone the rest of my life then with soemone i have no attraction to but is supposenly in my "league" That's pretty much the same rule as me. I need to be at least somewhat attracted to the person. But it's definitely harder finding those kind of girls over 30 that I'm attracted to that don't already have someone. But it's nothing I get upset or mad at. If I have the same standard as that then I have no problem with a girl have that kind of standard with me. I prefer to have a girl being with me that is attracted to me as well and not just settling for me because there's no one else. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 oh well, regardless, nyc is either giving verhrzn a hard time and doesn't in fact find her physically unattractive (from what's he's been able to gauge thus far) or he's a pompous goof, relishing in childish statements, and isn't worth heeding =x either way, personally, I didn't think the robinhood girly was more attractive. Not to demean her or anything... but I liked verhrzn's posture and expression more heh =p... plus she just appears to be more feminine and elegant in the photo. Just my two cents. SELF-perception is really the key... Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 The problem with the photograph is that Robin is a girl and therefore why should Batman be attracted to her? Batman likes little boys. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
chphan Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Speaking as the girl who just deflowered a 32 year old virgin (Oh yes I did!), I have to say what attracted me most about my guy was even though he had very little romantic experience with women, he was still a very happy person. Happy with his life and still very much loves and respects women. In fact, I remember laying in bed with him and saying something along the lines of, "I really respect you. I mean, you could have turned out a bitter angry guy posting long, angry diatribes on internet forums about nice guys finishing last and all that, but you're not like that at all." And he said, "That's silly. Nice guys finish whenever they want too." I loved him sooooo much when he said that. This sound like a very rare case and I mean that in a good way. In most cases girls would find any guy that's 25+ and still a virgin as something wrong and wouldn't want to get to know that person better. There's probably a lot more 30+ virgins out there but no one wants to say it because of being mocked at. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 oh well, regardless, nyc is either giving verhrzn a hard time and doesn't in fact find her physically unattractive (from what's he's been able to gauge thus far) or he's a pompous goof, relishing in childish statements, and isn't worth heeding =x either way, personally, I didn't think the robinhood girly was more attractive. Not to demean her or anything... but I liked verhrzn's posture and expression more heh =p... plus she just appears to be more feminine and elegant in the photo. Just my two cents. SELF-perception is really the key... All I'm interested is how big Robin Hood's b00bs are. You aren't a straight man if you're not wondering the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 nyc_guy2003 is happily married so it's unclear what his motives are here. Mine were to better discern how the OP views women his own age. If that cast unintended light upon verhrzn, I apologize for that. I think she's pretty confident to have left that picture link up so long, FWIW. OP, next steps? Has this discussion helped you? What's your plan? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Screw you, jerk... This thread isn't even about me, and yet here I find you getting your slimy assumptions all over me and my friend. Yeah I'm wearing a corset. So is she. And yeah, I know she's hotter than me. Hell she was easiest in the top 5 hottest girls there (she's also very sweet and married to the guy dressed as Batman.) Also, she's a tiny bit taller than me. I am 5'1" and she is 5'3". Happy now? Got your point across? Can we go back to discuss the OP's problem instead of reminding me again that you think I'm fat and not as hot? I know this thread is not about you, but since the other thread is too old, I'll post here. You seem like a nice person who's been given some really terrible advice by some posters on this board. First of all, on the subject of your appearance: you are a very average looking girl. That's not a bad thing, because you are definitely not ugly. But you are not hot either. In other words, your looks are very neutral and kind of plain, and there's nothing about you that stands out, which explains the lack of male attention. There are a few things you can do that would greatly enhance your appearance. First of all, start working out. You are not fat per se, but slightly chunky. Also, get rid of the dorky haircut (sorry), and let your hair grow longer. Finally, learn to dress in a way that compliments your physique (the yellow bat girl outfit does not, to be perfectly honest). You'd be amazed by how much your appearance would transform if you did those three things. Link to post Share on other sites
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