GoodOnPaper Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 It depends on what kind of woman you want. Do you want a woman who responds to douchiness? Then isn't she more of a trophy... something that you can just prove you can get, because it's obviously not her personality you're into (that, or you prefer women who are into jerks, which speaks loudly of your own bad taste.) It always takes me by surprise when, in these nice-guy issue discussions, women assume that men -- even the sensitive, mild-mannered, "nice" ones -- are so . . . intentional. By the time a guy reaches the I-just-want-a-girlfriend-(NOW) stage (like our OP has), he can easily look at things from a much more reactive point of view. It becomes more about trying to find out which women show any inkling of potential interest rather then what he really wants in a woman. It's a bad downward spiral and it's the reason why I suggested to him that he try to change his mindset to the long term rather than short-term results. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 First of all, on the subject of your appearance: you are a very average looking girl. That's not a bad thing, because you are definitely not ugly. But you are not hot either. In other words, your looks are very neutral and kind of plain, and there's nothing about you that stands out, which explains the lack of male attention. There are a few things you can do that would greatly enhance your appearance. First of all, start working out. You are not fat per se, but slightly chunky. Also, get rid of the dorky haircut (sorry), and let your hair grow longer. Finally, learn to dress in a way that compliments your physique (the yellow bat girl outfit does not, to be perfectly honest). You'd be amazed by how much your appearance would transform if you did those three things. I dunno man. I have to respectively disagree with you here. I find her attractive in that pic, and wouldn't have her change anything. But...that's just me... Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 nyc_guy2003 is happily married so it's unclear what his motives are here. Mine were to better discern how the OP views women his own age. If that cast unintended light upon verhrzn, I apologize for that. I think she's pretty confident to have left that picture link up so long, FWIW. Long story short... I lost access to my account except on my work station, where somehow the password is magically saved. But I can't access my account at work except on very rare occasions, and I keep forgetting to move the picture when I have the chance. I probably forget because I figure hey, that thread is long buried, so what's the big deal if I leave the picture up? *Rolls eyes* Gee, thanks Feelgoodman, I had no idea that working out would help. Here I've just been spending hours standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection in hopes that somehow the pounds would magically melt off. And it's such a wonderful weight off my shoulders to know I'm not ugly, I'm just plain and boring and very very average. And wearing better clothes? And growing my hair? Ya don't say! Tell ya what... you tell me what clothes, exactly, I should be wearing. Or how to grow out my hair when my hair type is oily and thin... meaning that the longer it is, the flatter and more lifeless it looks. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Here I've just been spending hours standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection in hopes that somehow the pounds would magically melt off. I don't think you've been staring hard enough. Have you also been shouting and your elbows back, fists clenched and arms parallel to the floor? Link to post Share on other sites
Author robertdawson Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 verhrzn: whoa! Me and someone else commented that you looked attractive in that picture but now you're trying to defend yourself to the guy who told you to lose weight, that you had a "dorky haircut", etc.? Is it possible you're overlooking the guys who are interested in you because you're upset at the ones that aren't (in real life)? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Gee, thanks Feelgoodman, I had no idea that working out would help. Here I've just been spending hours standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection in hopes that somehow the pounds would magically melt off. And it's such a wonderful weight off my shoulders to know I'm not ugly, I'm just plain and boring and very very average. And wearing better clothes? And growing my hair? Ya don't say! Tell ya what... you tell me what clothes, exactly, I should be wearing. Or how to grow out my hair when my hair type is oily and thin... meaning that the longer it is, the flatter and more lifeless it looks. Well, I was being honest, which I think is more helpful than what some of the other posters here are doing (trying to convince you that you are hot). If you know that working out would help, why don't you? As for haircut/clothing, that is something you'll have to figure out for yourself or ask a professional stylist. Also, it would be helpful to know what sort of guys you are shooting for. In another thread, you wrote about being upset that a guy you found "super cute" was not flirting with you. If that's the kind of guy you're trying to attract, I have bad news. Super cute guys like super cute girls. If you are average looking yourself, you'll have to aim for a guy that is also, well, average. Link to post Share on other sites
Author robertdawson Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) I can assure you I am not just trying to "convince" you you are "hot" in that picture for your self-esteem verhrzn. If I didn't think you looked attractive I would have kept my mouth shut. I can't speak for anyone else though. Edited August 26, 2011 by robertdawson Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Long story short... I lost access to my account except on my work station, where somehow the password is magically saved. But I can't access my account at work except on very rare occasions, and I keep forgetting to move the picture when I have the chance. I probably forget because I figure hey, that thread is long buried, so what's the big deal if I leave the picture up? *Rolls eyes* Gee, thanks Feelgoodman, I had no idea that working out would help. Here I've just been spending hours standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection in hopes that somehow the pounds would magically melt off. And it's such a wonderful weight off my shoulders to know I'm not ugly, I'm just plain and boring and very very average. And wearing better clothes? And growing my hair? Ya don't say! Tell ya what... you tell me what clothes, exactly, I should be wearing. Or how to grow out my hair when my hair type is oily and thin... meaning that the longer it is, the flatter and more lifeless it looks. Due tips in your hair. Lose 10 lbs even though you are not fat at all. Find your own style in dressing. Show some leg. You will be fine, you are pretty Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Super cute guys like super cute girls. If you are average looking yourself, you'll have to aim for a guy that is also, well, average. Probably the best piece of advice on this thread so far. Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Zenobia Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Long story short... I lost access to my account except on my work station, where somehow the password is magically saved. But I can't access my account at work except on very rare occasions, and I keep forgetting to move the picture when I have the chance. I probably forget because I figure hey, that thread is long buried, so what's the big deal if I leave the picture up? *Rolls eyes* Gee, thanks Feelgoodman, I had no idea that working out would help. Here I've just been spending hours standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection in hopes that somehow the pounds would magically melt off. And it's such a wonderful weight off my shoulders to know I'm not ugly, I'm just plain and boring and very very average. And wearing better clothes? And growing my hair? Ya don't say! Tell ya what... you tell me what clothes, exactly, I should be wearing. Or how to grow out my hair when my hair type is oily and thin... meaning that the longer it is, the flatter and more lifeless it looks. Hon, you look nice. Don't worry about Feelsgoodman, he's got an ax to grind about weight issues in the U.S. (as evidence his other posts and a thread he's posted today). Perhaps he was once fat himself? Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Well, I was being honest, which I think is more helpful than what some of the other posters here are doing (trying to convince you that you are hot). If you know that working out would help, why don't you? As for haircut/clothing, that is something you'll have to figure out for yourself or ask a professional stylist. Also, it would be helpful to know what sort of guys you are shooting for. In another thread, you wrote about being upset that a guy you found "super cute" was not flirting with you. If that's the kind of guy you're trying to attract, I have bad news. Super cute guys like super cute girls. If you are average looking yourself, you'll have to aim for a guy that is also, well, average. I do work out. I do belly dancing, martial arts, and lift weights 3 times a week on top of 20-30 minutes of cardio (on top of martial arts, which at my advanced level is pretty good cardio to begin with.) I remain as you see me. Yes, you're being honest, but saying "I think you're average and fat" is no more helpful than "I think you're hot." If you are being honest in an attempt to be helpful, then you need to be helpful.... and telling me to lose weight and get prettier (clothes, hair) isn't helpful, unless you assume I'm an idiot who this has never occurred to before. verhrzn: whoa! Me and someone else commented that you looked attractive in that picture but now you're trying to defend yourself to the guy who told you to lose weight, that you had a "dorky haircut", etc.? Is it possible you're overlooking the guys who are interested in you because you're upset at the ones that aren't (in real life)? Apologies; I'm just feeling a little bothered and snarky that somehow my issues got pulled into this thread. Also, it always annoys me when men like Feelsgoodman complain about women being entitled and gold-diggers and liking jerks, and then turn around and insult a woman's looks all in the name of honesty. Maybe I'm just one of those entitled ugly women that certain posters feel need to be slapped down before I get all high and mighty as discussed in another thread. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Don't worry about Feelsgoodman, he's got an ax to grind about weight issues in the U.S. (as evidence his other posts and a thread he's posted today). Perhaps he was once fat himself? Ummm...this is very rude if you're making this comparison because you think vrhrzn is fat too and you're comparing feelgoodman to her. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I'm just feeling a little bothered and snarky that somehow my issues got pulled into this thread. It's because you brought them up. Saying stuff like "Maybe I'm just one of those entitled ugly women" is what gets people to talk about you. Granted, it wasn't you who posted your picture in this thread. But you did bring up your issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Hon, you look nice. Don't worry about Feelsgoodman, he's got an ax to grind about weight issues in the U.S. (as evidence his other posts and a thread he's posted today). Perhaps he was once fat himself? Everyone is a psychoanalyst these days . I wouldn't quit your day job if I were you though, Queen Z...I was actually really skinny before I started working out. I also have no "axe to grind" about weight issues in the U.S...I just find certain humor (albeit dark one) in the fact that a nation that still considers itself a superpower has degenerated to a point where most its citizens have to turn sideways when entering a doorway Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Zenobia Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Ummm...this is very rude if you're making this comparison because you think vrhrzn is fat too and you're comparing feelgoodman to her. Well then I guess it's not rude since I'm not saying she's fat at all. She has a nice figure. Granted she doesn't look like a starving child in a third world country but she's definitely not fat. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 It's because you brought them up. Saying stuff like "Maybe I'm just one of those entitled ugly women" is what gets people to talk about you. Granted, it wasn't you who posted your picture in this thread. But you did bring up your issues. Agree with this. I didn't really have any problem with her looks, but her pessimistic attitude shines through loud and clear in her writing. Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Granted she doesn't look like a starving child in a third world country Most creative way I've seen yet of someone calling someone else "not skinny". Ouch. Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Zenobia Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Everyone is a psychoanalyst these days . I wouldn't quit your day job if I were you though, Queen Z...I was actually really skinny before I started working out. Since my "day job" consists of doing things I can't reveal in order to allegedly protect you "common people" from the scary folks of the world, you can rest assured that I won't be quitting anytime soon. I also have no "axe to grind" about weight issues in the U.S...I just find certain humor (albeit dark one) in the fact that a nation that still considers itself a superpower has degenerated to a point where most its citizens have to turn sideways when entering a doorway Are you and I even looking at the same photo? And, I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I got up at 6 a.m. to go on a 4 mile run with my fiance. We're doing on our part to keep our empire going. Link to post Share on other sites
homersheineken Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 verhrzn: whoa! Me and someone else commented that you looked attractive in that picture but now you're trying to defend yourself to the guy who told you to lose weight, that you had a "dorky haircut", etc.? Is it possible you're overlooking the guys who are interested in you because you're upset at the ones that aren't (in real life)? I know right! Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 and telling me to lose weight and get prettier (clothes, hair) isn't helpful, unless you assume I'm an idiot who this has never occurred to before. Well, this is loveshack, so it's not exactly a remote possibility. Why did you post a pic of yourself if you already what your weaknesses are? Link to post Share on other sites
Queen Zenobia Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Most creative way I've seen yet of someone calling someone else "not skinny". Ouch. Yup, that's exactly what I was trying to say. I thought you'd be too busy defending NY sushi to be trolling this thread... Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Apologies; I'm just feeling a little bothered and snarky that somehow my issues got pulled into this thread. Also, it always annoys me when men like Feelsgoodman complain about women being entitled and gold-diggers and liking jerks, and then turn around and insult a woman's looks all in the name of honesty. Maybe I'm just one of those entitled ugly women that certain posters feel need to be slapped down before I get all high and mighty as discussed in another thread. Quit being overly dramatic. No one was "insulting" your looks. Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 It's because you brought them up. Saying stuff like "Maybe I'm just one of those entitled ugly women" is what gets people to talk about you. Granted, it wasn't you who posted your picture in this thread. But you did bring up your issues. Well WAY back in the thread I think I mentioned being slightly bitter and jaded because I see all of these threads from guys complaining that hot girls won't pay attention to them, and then turning around and rejecting perfectly pleasant girls because they're not hot. But that was about it (for this thread, other threads I am totally guilty of it.) Then Carhill posted my picture in an effort to get some insight on the OP, and suddenly it's all "Your friend is hotter, how are her boobs?" Link to post Share on other sites
nyc_guy2003 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Yup, that's exactly what I was trying to say. I thought you'd be too busy defending NY sushi to be trolling this thread... I couldn't get a plane ticket to Syria to have the best Arab food in the world because some random old guy who is apparently the ultimate authority on Arab food said it was, so I decided to spend more time here instead. Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Im a little sick of all the people in this thread makign it out like average or ugly people are superior morally and make better partners Everyone is as shallow as they can be,stop acting like u choose average looking people because they make better partners or that you are less shallow then everyone, average or unatrratcuve people are with others of the same attraction level because its the bets they can do with what they have not because its your drema person physically or you look deeper into a person then good looking people us "attracive" people also have good relatoinships and were with people we actually find hot mentally and physically We dont have to settle for osmeone we fidn ehh looking but its all we can get so we have ot make up that the inside beauty makes them beautiful and theyre more about the inner person then a good looking couple Link to post Share on other sites
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