Always plays "Just friends" card, given past...?

[just.beautifulme]

Alright, so when me and my boyfriend first got together, within a week he cheated on me. He never told me, just told all of his friends. We were in the same friend group, so they told me. He'd broken up with me by this point saying we were "just too different" when we're almost exactly alike, so I knew this couldn't be the case. The girl was one of my friends (at the time) and I'd warned him about her previously. They made out, and I was able to get over. When I confronted him, he admitted it, and I was quickly over it. It hurt me for a time then I was fine. This was about half way through junior year.

 

Later on in the year, I'd read his texts cause I saw he had some 600 text messages to some girl I'd never even heard him mentioned. Needless to say the text messages were VERY flirtatious in nature, almost dirty. He would tell her how sexy she was, how much he wanted to have sex with her, ect. I was hurt. To an extreme. After the time with the other girl, he'd promised me he would NEVER do anything like that again. He had again. And it hurt. But again, I let it go. I wasn't flawless either, so I had to let some things go too.

 

But now we're in different schools and he's been withdrawing from me, like not calling me as much ect. One day I was at his house and he spent the entire time locked in his room texting some girl he'd met for 3 days at school. And let me put it this way, it annoyed me. In my mind, it was like saying "hey, I knew her for 3 days and I prefer to text her than hang out with the girl I have known for 2 years." It just hurt. He's very very very flirty. He doesn't get that when a girl starts the friendship with telling you you're cute, she doesn't always have friendship on the brain. I've tried to talk with him about it, but it never ever seems to change. Help.

[LoveandSuch]

Alright, so when me and my boyfriend first got together, within a week he cheated on me. He never told me, just told all of his friends. We were in the same friend group, so they told me. He'd broken up with me by this point saying we were "just too different" when we're almost exactly alike, so I knew this couldn't be the case. The girl was one of my friends (at the time) and I'd warned him about her previously. They made out, and I was able to get over. When I confronted him, he admitted it, and I was quickly over it. It hurt me for a time then I was fine. This was about half way through junior year.

 

Later on in the year, I'd read his texts cause I saw he had some 600 text messages to some girl I'd never even heard him mentioned. Needless to say the text messages were VERY flirtatious in nature, almost dirty. He would tell her how sexy she was, how much he wanted to have sex with her, ect. I was hurt. To an extreme. After the time with the other girl, he'd promised me he would NEVER do anything like that again. He had again. And it hurt. But again, I let it go. I wasn't flawless either, so I had to let some things go too.

 

But now we're in different schools and he's been withdrawing from me, like not calling me as much ect. One day I was at his house and he spent the entire time locked in his room texting some girl he'd met for 3 days at school. And let me put it this way, it annoyed me. In my mind, it was like saying "hey, I knew her for 3 days and I prefer to text her than hang out with the girl I have known for 2 years." It just hurt. He's very very very flirty. He doesn't get that when a girl starts the friendship with telling you you're cute, she doesn't always have friendship on the brain. I've tried to talk with him about it, but it never ever seems to change. Help.

 

You are in a ****tttty relationship with 5 t's. I cannot even guess why you stayed in the mix with all this drama. Why? And please do not respond with, because he really is a nice guy, we do get along well,...he understands me so well....... BS, he is none of the above. Is him changing his ways and all of a sudden just wanting you and you alone, a goal that you desperately need to validate self esteem issues?

[thatone]

to put normal in perspective, my gf and i apologize if either of us take a single phone call when we're out together away from her place or mine.

 

you are so far from normal in this relationship that it doesn't even appear on the radar.

[skywriter]

j.bm,

 

I'm gonna say to you, what I'd tell my own daughter.

 

You, are so bent ,on making it work with this guy. That you keep moving the acceptible boundaries, to accomodate his unacceptible behavior.

 

He shoulda been kicked to the curb, after what you said in the first sentence! Once you, accepted that, he knew, he had you, no matter what.

 

.....and please don't say, "well I told him if he does it ever again we are through". Baby girl, you can't change this guys spots. They are very much a part of who he is now and will continue to be in the future.

 

Save your dignity now and do better!

[Professor X]

Alright, so when me and my boyfriend first got together, within a week he cheated on me. He never told me, just told all of his friends. We were in the same friend group, so they told me. He'd broken up with me by this point saying we were "just too different" when we're almost exactly alike, so I knew this couldn't be the case. The girl was one of my friends (at the time) and I'd warned him about her previously. They made out, and I was able to get over. When I confronted him, he admitted it, and I was quickly over it. It hurt me for a time then I was fine. This was about half way through junior year.

 

Later on in the year, I'd read his texts cause I saw he had some 600 text messages to some girl I'd never even heard him mentioned. Needless to say the text messages were VERY flirtatious in nature, almost dirty. He would tell her how sexy she was, how much he wanted to have sex with her, ect. I was hurt. To an extreme. After the time with the other girl, he'd promised me he would NEVER do anything like that again. He had again. And it hurt. But again, I let it go. I wasn't flawless either, so I had to let some things go too.

 

But now we're in different schools and he's been withdrawing from me, like not calling me as much ect. One day I was at his house and he spent the entire time locked in his room texting some girl he'd met for 3 days at school. And let me put it this way, it annoyed me. In my mind, it was like saying "hey, I knew her for 3 days and I prefer to text her than hang out with the girl I have known for 2 years." It just hurt. He's very very very flirty. He doesn't get that when a girl starts the friendship with telling you you're cute, she doesn't always have friendship on the brain. I've tried to talk with him about it, but it never ever seems to change. Help.

 

I hope you have the power and mind to break up with him, but you sound awfully young and as such, stupid

 

So I guess that if 2 years of him cheating on you didn't teach you a thing (and even worse, you're blaming yourself for that "I wasn't flawless either") than some post of random people on a random board won't either.

 

All I can tell you is that this won't change, the longer you stay with him the worse it will get.

YOU allow him to cheat because YOU accept him back each time - I hope you know this.

 

You choose your own happiness and obviously you like the fact that he texts other girls and cheats on your repeatedly - because why on earth would you stay with him otherwise ??????????