Once I get it, I don't want it anymore..

[dreamingoftigers]

Where have you read this? It doesn't exactly fit with my understanding.

 

Most literature regarding sexual addiction underlines this. (sexual addiction being an "underattachment" disorder.)

 

Especially in "the Shame Cycle."

 

As well, having lived with a husband in active sexual addiction, I can tell you he presents very sociopathically. He literally can't care about anyone in that state but can present being affected etc through his words and tone. It took me quite awhile to notice the subtle disconnect, it is actually quite disturbing.

 

I can give a breakdown of brain processes that form the same reactions if you like, but I would have to wait until I get home.

[AmEricanWomann]

I believe you are a troll and that you are a virgin.

 

I agree. Especially given his recent threads where said he was getting no women. All of a sudden he magically became a PUA? Pure BS. The only thing that shocks me here is that so many people believe him. People really shouldn't believe everything they read on the interwebz.

[stillafool]

Recap of the past month. Been taking occasional trips to the vacated office we use for storage with my lovely co-worker. In there we make out, she ends up giving me fellatio, and twice now she's swallowed. Wow!

 

I've been getting alot of attention on POF. It got to the point where I had so many dates set up I just started blowing women off. I'm actually doing that this weekend as well. I'm booked Fri, Sat and Sun, but I'm gonna blow Fri off just because I want some time to myself. Yesterday, one lovely woman I met on POF came by, we hung out and talked. I could tell she was attracted to me just by her body language. Plus she's seen pictures of my physique and such, so she knew what I had going on under the clothing. We made our way back to my car, and she wanted to sit inside and talk.

 

But before even continuing this story, 3 hours prior to her showing up to see me, I had just got done having sex with my co-worker in the storage room. At the end of my shift I had to quickly wash my genitalia with soap and water, get the smell of her perfume off of my neck and clothes (wanted to play it safe).

 

So continuing the story with the POF girl, we go in my car and chit chat. She plays some songs we like, and somehow her feet ended up in my lap and I was giving her a foot massage. One thing led to another, we make out, her clothes come off, next thing I know she's giving me the best fellatio I've ever had in my life. Deep throat and all (I'm not a small guy). So she takes my hand and places it on her vagina, and I mean, she's just drenched, sopping with vaginal lubrication. So....****, I did what any other guy would've done, I ****ed her for an hour. She came multiple times, I had trouble arriving because of my previous encounter. Finally I arrived, she let me dispense it onto her face (Wow!). After that we kicked back for about 20 then I took off.

 

Now all day today she's been trying to text and maintain communication. And I'm just not feeling it. I feel smothered. I don't even want to talk to her at the moment, at least not until I'm horny. I don't even talk to my co-worker unless I want some fun. This is a re-occurring issue. I get what I want, then I get cold on them. Of course they notice, because before I got what I wanted, I was very sweet to them. Very caring, attentive, etc. Compliment them, make them smile, etc. They eat that **** up.

 

Lol, I have no clue. All I know is, just her texting me is making me feel claustrophobic. She got pissed off with me, got all salty and was like "going to bed. night." I just said "ok.".

 

Not to mention I ****ed two women within a window of 3-4 hours? That's a milestone for my sex life. Aaah, what am I going to do with myself. The ****ed up part is, I can't stop thinking about how sexually loose these women are. Why would I ever date them? Wtf.

 

 

Geesh, why do you have time to come here and hang around LS? Don't you have some girl who is waiting on you to come f--- her?

[fortyninethousand322]

Why is it that the guys who want sex but not relationships get attention from a flood of women looking for relationships, but the guys who want a relationships first but sex second can't attract women even if they were the last man on earth? IME this is consistent no matter the looks, wealth, age, race, etc. of the guys in question.

 

Anybody want to explain this?

[sigurpol]

I was interested in this topic because I normally say the same thing to myself when it comes to relationships. But that was before I read what you wrote.

 

I'm not going to name-call and point a finger, because that sort of thing always goes over the OP's head. It's not going to answer any questions (respectively).

 

I will say that, if you want to avoid feeling smothered and cornered, then it's best to come clean to the woman about how you're feeling, or what it is you want/don't want.

 

Just because you open up to someone, doesn't mean you have to date them or be romantically involved. It's just keeping them in the loop so no one has to lose their mind as to what's going on.

 

If you can bang some girl in a storage room at work, I think you can be bold enough to tell these girls exactly what you're saying in here.

[zengirl]

Why is it that the guys who want sex but not relationships get attention from a flood of women looking for relationships, but the guys who want a relationships first but sex second can't attract women even if they were the last man on earth? IME this is consistent no matter the looks, wealth, age, race, etc. of the guys in question.

 

Anybody want to explain this?

 

Okay, I'm going to stop you here: you're basing your rant on the assumption the OP's stories are real. If you look at the various posts others have pointed to, his stories are all over the place, and likely the only person who's touched his penis this week is himself.

[fortyninethousand322]

Okay, I'm going to stop you here: you're basing your rant on the assumption the OP's stories are real. If you look at the various posts others have pointed to, his stories are all over the place, and likely the only person who's touched his penis this week is himself.

 

Granted. But, it wouldn't be the first time I've heard such a tale. Sure, all the guys (and girls) who tell them could be lying/exaggerating, but, just like the stories of Robin Hood or King Arthur or Prestor John there may be some grain of truth to them.

[April72]

if this post is real.... then let's take into account that alot of women think and give sex in return for love. Which doesn't really work that way. Because alot of women connect sex and love. I will give him sex in return he will give me love. I will give it to him so good he will want me. When in reality this usually has the opposite effect especially if given to soon. If what you say is true you come off all sweet and charming and they are trying to hook you with sex. Could also be the type's of women you contine to attract. Women who need lot's of attention are typically needy. You give them the attention they crave... they give you sex hoping to keep it.

 

am I wrong?

[iJester]

April72, with regard to the types of girls, you are 95% correct. That's why they're called attention whores. You pay attention, they **** you.

[soserious1]

Why is it that the guys who want sex but not relationships get attention from a flood of women looking for relationships, but the guys who want a relationships first but sex second can't attract women even if they were the last man on earth? IME this is consistent no matter the looks, wealth, age, race, etc. of the guys in question.

 

Anybody want to explain this?

 

Because believe it or not there are a lot of women out here who might say they want a committed relationship but in reality really desire only casual hookup's ie: sex.

[bac]

How am I using and hurting them? They enjoy it, and they do it willingly. I don't even give a **** about that honestly. I just want to know why I get cold on them after we have sex.

 

I have the same problem but I am a woman. Men do really enjoy sex willingly! I hate that they are so promiscuous!

After the first sex I do not want them anymore. They get upset and feel rejected but I can not help rejecting them. I get cold on them after sex because I do not have emotional connection with them. Sex without emotional connection is OK only for the first time. It feels OK because it is a new experience therefore it is emotionally/intelectually stimulating.

Also, if I have several man for sex, I take them for granted and I view them as disposable objects to use for fun but not as a person with feelings.

In summary, IMO you get cold on them because

-you have no emotional/intellectual connection with girls

-you deal with several girls at the same time

-you are popular with girls, so, you see them as disposable sex objects

-you might not capable of emotional attachment because you might have a personality disorder

-you deal only with promiscuous girls because they are quick and easy.

[Mangomonkey]

I gotta say. Why do people really get offended by this guy? I mean what he says is believable. And Im from florida just like him so i seen how things go first hand. Honestly the world aint all sugar and cookies like we all like to believe.

 

Everybody dont fall in love. Everybody dont look for relationships. There are people who are thrilled by the lies and deceit. There are those who aren't. From my own personal experience i've met PLENTY and i mean PLEEENNNTTYY of women who are attracted to guys like this and more. And there are men way worse than him. If you consider him to be that bad.

 

He is egotistical. so what. My only thing is. Why in the world do anyone care what these women or men get themselves into?

 

Now to merchant. My lad just stock up on trojans and continue to learn life lessons. Whether they be harsh or joyous.

[OnyxSnowfall]

unless it was about her body or her skill in bed.

 

some people think that's all a female is good for/worth

[Woggle]

I think this behavior us dead wrong but women that don't like this can stop it by not rewarding it. Men like him only exist because some women eat it up with a spoon and ask for seconds.

[dreamingoftigers]

And the women often think that the only thing they have to offer is sex.

 

My Codependency group is full of em.

 

So yes, they are just as lost as the guys that want to pump and dump.

 

It isn't like we have this wonderful code of knowledge of male psyche to draw from, only the sensibly constructed social norms that most of our generation and younger has been taught don't apply to them.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I think this behavior us dead wrong but women that don't like this can stop it by not rewarding it. Men like him only exist because some women eat it up with a spoon and ask for seconds.

 

You think this behavior is dead wrong but you go on to talk about how you think women are more wrong.

 

Did you miss the part where he flatters them and makes them feel good? He's not being upfront.

 

Men like him only exist because of the choices only *he* makes. What choices a girl makes in response to him is a seperate issue. Blaming women for the product of who this man let himself become is quite disgusting and reaks of lack of acocuntability.

 

Must I say it again. He lives at home.

[dreamingoftigers]

You think this behavior is dead wrong but you go on to talk about how you think women are more wrong.

 

Did you miss the part where he flatters them and makes them feel good? He's not being upfront.

 

Men like him only exist because of the choices only *he* makes. What choices a girl makes in response to him is a seperate issue. Blaming women for the product of who this man let himself become is quite disgusting and reaks of lack of acocuntability.

 

Must I say it again. He lives at home.

 

It is kind of like saying that men like him only exist because some foolish woman got pregnant once upon a time, isn't it?

[OnyxSnowfall]

You think this behavior is dead wrong but you go on to talk about how you think women are more wrong.

 

Did you miss the part where he flatters them and makes them feel good? He's not being upfront.

 

Men like him only exist because of the choices only *he* makes. What choices a girl makes in response to him is a seperate issue. Blaming women for the product of who this man let himself become is quite disgusting and reaks of lack of acocuntability.

 

Must I say it again. He lives at home.

 

It doesn't matter... a person can be more CAREFUL about who they are with before they dive into something with them. They don't have to spread their legs right off the bat and to believe someone they hardly know is into their very being

 

I can safely say that BOTH parties have a share of responsibility. The women have control, as does he. Fact is, some people are selfish manipulative people without much capacity to care for others...

 

you have to watch your own back at some point... and choose to not "enable" others.

[dreamingoftigers]

Yes, sure, but if every single "spread em" guy turned into a respectable, waiting, decent guy. That would completely stop the behaviour on the part of women too, right?

 

So conversely, the opposite gender would have the same effect.

 

But since neither gender is going to eradicate that overnight, each should become more respectable and make better choices.

 

Am I part of a select small group that has heard the STD transmission rate is higher with multiple partners?

[Woggle]

You think this behavior is dead wrong but you go on to talk about how you think women are more wrong.

 

Did you miss the part where he flatters them and makes them feel good? He's not being upfront.

 

Men like him only exist because of the choices only *he* makes. What choices a girl makes in response to him is a seperate issue. Blaming women for the product of who this man let himself become is quite disgusting and reaks of lack of acocuntability.

 

Must I say it again. He lives at home.

 

Men are going to do what works and sadly this stuff works like a charm in keeping women attracted.

[OnyxSnowfall]

Yes, sure, but if every single "spread em" guy turned into a respectable, waiting, decent guy. That would completely stop the behaviour on the part of women too, right?

 

So conversely, the opposite gender would have the same effect.

 

But since neither gender is going to eradicate that overnight, each should become more respectable and make better choices.

 

Am I part of a select small group that has heard the STD transmission rate is higher with multiple partners?

 

People enable one another... both have their share of the responsibility... but the best thing about taking responsibility for something is in realizing you have the power to change it. Sometimes people force themselves upon others and there's not even that element of true choice involved...

 

so when it comes down to someone being weak, selfish and inconsiderate... someone willing to take advantage of other people's weaknesses/not even care to consider them then... the one who is being taken advantage of should ideally figure out a way to prevent it from happening.

 

It would be nice if everyone could be nice, decent and loving to one another but that's not realistic...

Edited August 27, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
needed to add an apostrophe lol...

[dreamingoftigers]

Men are going to do what works and sadly this stuff works like a charm in keeping women attracted.

 

Unfortunately men do not have the market cornered on manipulating to get what they want.

 

Women have often tried to use sex for that.

[Woggle]

He is wrong but can we all agree that women would do themselves a huge favor by not rewarding this kind of behavior?

[Ginger Beer]

To be honest, I know loads of men like the OP, some are my friends, but if you're a woman and you don't want this to happen to you, you don't put out so quickly. We all know this, so I don't sympathise with any of the women he's used. They knew what they were doing and chose to do it.

 

And I think the OP is morally bankrupt but he gets away with this because he can.

[dreamingoftigers]

Yes, both genders in the long-term would be healthier if they dud not engage in mass amounts of manipulation and promiscuous sex.