Jareddms Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Want to give you some advice that my mom told me, and hopefully you guys will like it too . I also am going through hell, its been over 3 weeks when my fiance told me she wanted to be friends and when I said i cant be friends with her she said i was being selfish , anyways i have been her friends talking to her couple times went to the movies and dinner with her (it was worst time of my life) since she was acting different and i also missed holding her hands like I usually would have done. She told me she 'lost the spark' and she needs to go out and do things and she already has been out partying, moving in with a guy as a roomate and going on a weekend together to new york. All I do is stay at home lose weight don't eat and risk my job by focusing on her all day. I have since moved in with my parents and they have helped me alot and my mom told me she said 'If you continue to beat yourself up and make yourself look like this then if she was to ever come back you will or would be in a worst state than before. Start doing things like working out, eating , sleeping, make yourself more confident because when she see how confident and better looking you are, she may come back but if not at least you would be better off' I know I should be taking this advice but its hard cant sleep eat and all I do is think of her and am tempted to call her or drive over to our old place but i am hoping i dont Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted May 4, 2004 Share Posted May 4, 2004 Yes, I really do believe that the saying is true! Just be patient, recovery from the grief comes in time. Don't call or drive over there. It'll just make you appear desperate. I agree with your mom in that you should start getting yourself motivated in other aspects of your life: working out, hanging out with friends, etc. You shouldn't worry right now about whether or not she's going to come back to you. It's time to focus on yourself! It's hard to stay friends with an ex. If you need a break from hanging out with her, that's totally acceptable as well. If this is going to make it hard for you, maybe you want to think about asking her for a break? Link to post Share on other sites
mach3 Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Mom's are always the ones who take care of you - aren't they? Same situation here, you can't let yourself go to ****. I try and focus on the things I enjoy most in life and surround myself with them at all time, and bettering myself. I hate how they want to be friends. I can't go from being completely in love to just buddies, it's a ridiculous concept. Perhaps a few years down the road - but not immediately. They just do that to keep you around... Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 when my fiance told me she wanted to be friends and when I said i cant be friends with her she said i was being selfish That makes me believe that she is the one being selfish. Not only that she is showing little regard or respect for your feelings. She broke off the engagement and she has no right to expect that you're just going to be friends and tag along to the movies or whatever. You should also stop all contact with your fiance. She made the decision to end it and you're suffering the consequences. Why suffer more? Focus on yourself. Your Mom is right. Working out is a great way to get rid of frustration and anger and you need to eat to work out. And yes, time will heal those wounds. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 if they see how bad they're hurting you then they're going to continue to play those games and hurt you more..but if you act like you've moved on then they'll realize what they did.. Link to post Share on other sites
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