purplepanda Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I took my time breaking it off with my ex.... every day he hurt me. When it would seem like I'm finally breaking away from him, he would insult me and somehow, it would bring me back, even if we just fought with each other. I drove the hour to see him, and he said Come sit over here so we can talk. "talk?" "yeah... all those thing I never wanted to talk about before". We didn't really get the chance, because his mom wanted him to get away from me (found dirty pictures of him... she blamed me O.O). Before he left, he stepped toward me, and I kind of stepped away. Later on we talked, before I left his town, and he said "I was going to kiss you". But we weren't TOGETHER.... ugh!!! We talked a little bit and he had his arms out to hug me.. I let him. And all these feelings came rushing back. I hate that I'd never felt that way for anyone but him, and he makes me feel SO MUCH. Plus the sex was amazing. You all know what I'm talking about.....the way they smell and how warm they are. His hugs were my favorite part about being with him. He kissed my forehead. And that was the last time I saw him. He never said goodbye, when his mom called me and told me to stay away. He didn't even fight it. I drove home. A week later, he sent back every letter I ever wrote.(50+ I'm not kidding) I don't know what to do with them. I want to burn them once and for all, but: all the love that's in them... idk if I want to get rid of that. I know that we can never speak or be together or be near each other ever again. He made me feel terrible things and he was manipulative, and I recently found evidence he was sleeping with one of my friends, his somewhat ex (does it count if they dated 2 days?). Help? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Keep the letters. Trust me; 20 or 30 years from now, you will want to read them. I destroyed letters from old, hurt relationships and there are some that still exist from two decades ago. Once you have healed from the relationship and much time has passed, you will appreciate having a remembrance of what the relationship was, even if it is not pretty now. Again, trust me. Just put them away for now and forget about them for a dozen or so years. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Burn em. Look to the future, not the past. Make new love letters with someone worthy of your love. Trust me; 20 or 30 years from now when you're happily married to someone else, these letters will bring you nothing but heartache and possibly some jealousy and awkward questions regarding why you kept them. Unless you have kids in which case you might want to keep them to pass on. I'm sure kids would love to see that their parents were once happy. But if no kids, burn em. Actually no, that is bad for the environment - recycle them Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I bought a middle finger rubber stamp for things like these. I just stamp 'em and send 'em back to the person I don't like. Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I've been told that destroying photos/letters/etc will be regretted later in life. I'm not sure that I believe it at all, but decided to not take the chance. Go buy yourself a nice little black shoe box and a metallic marker of any color you choose (red was fitting for me). Put all that crap in there. Seal it shut. Write on the top "Things To Be Forgotten"...and bury it in your storage boxes. What's the worst that happens? In 20/30 years you find that you didn't actually need to keep them and they amount to little more than trash? Meh...can always burn them then. Pretty sure fire will still exist in a couple decades. Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 i'm with carrie on this one. i still have love letters from the mid 70's, and it sure does bring back some good memories. some bad memories of course, but mostly good ones.i wonder if i'm the only guy who has done this? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 What's the worst that happens? Some of the letters happened to be scented. Over the years the scents react with each other to form a flammable gas. Another of the letters had a little pouch with a pendant with a small glass crystal, which you diligently replaced into the letter before sealing the box. A mouse happens to wander into the loft after sealing the box and smelling one of the strawberry scented letters, decides there might be something tasty in there. So he takes a nibble through the box, but finding no food, leaves it alone. A bird looking for nesting material makes a small hole in the roof. The sunlight streaks through the hole made by the bird, and through the hole in the box made by the mouse. It hits the crystal in the pendant and is magnified, causing a small spark which ignites the flammable gas created by the cocktail of scents. The fire brigade come to your burning house to put out the fire which has by now engulfed the entire street. Well... maybe not very likely but you asked what's the worst that could happen Link to post Share on other sites
FinOuch Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) Lmfao, that's awesome Pete! OR..... A mouse happens to wander into the loft after sealing the box and smelling one of the strawberry scented letters, decides there might be something tasty in there. So he takes a nibble through the box Being extremely hungry, the mouse finds the letters and photos to be absolutely scrumptious! After nomming every last bit of the contents of the box, our little friend then learns one of the more unappealing aspects of insoluble fiber: a rather urgent need to relieve himself. The little mouse then performs an act of divine intervention that tops any imaginable ceremonial destruction of the letters and photos... He "converts" them into a form more accurately reflective of their nature - a pile of sh*t! Edited August 26, 2011 by FinOuch Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 (edited) I didn't save anything from my past failed relationships... primarily because I wanted to let go and move on from them. I didn't see the point in holding onto anything besides the lessons I extracted --- nostalgia? nah... validation or proof? unnecessary... besides, if I was still "in love" with someone... I don't think I could resist torturing myself by fixating on specific words and times exchanged and it would infringe upon my healing process... So, for me it was just easier to move on when I eliminated "sentimental nuisances"... even things that could also be considered "practical" gifts and useful in some way or another. One thing I also considered is, if I kept such things, how would they potentially impact the mysterious person I would be with in my future? Obviously it's up to you but, if there was true love... that's likely just imprinted in some form or another, within the heart anyway. Edited August 26, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall Link to post Share on other sites
Beachgirl8 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I vote get rid of them. The past is the past. Imagine your new boyfriend or husband stumbling upon them one afternoon and reading them all, and how weird that would be for him. Also, there's that mouse thing. Sounds pretty dangerous! Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I asked this on here before and was told to get rid of them to truly move on, but other posters are making a good point about in 20 years time it might be nice to look back at them. But then there is also the problem of future SO's finding them. There is no chance of that for me for the foreseeable future so my advice would be, unless you're 100% sure, keep them and cross the future SO bridge when you get to it. By the time you fall for someone else you might not even care about some old letter so throwing them away would be the right thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author purplepanda Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 Thanks everyone I wanted to keep them, but I kept imagining myself a year from now saying to him (meh, if I ever did see him again), "oh I burned those", and the disappointment on his face! He's an arrogant *******, so he'd just LOVE to hear that I kept them. It was only an entertaining thought. I'll keep them. Then maybe someday throw them away Who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Author purplepanda Posted September 12, 2011 Author Share Posted September 12, 2011 HAahahah! That's right girl! yeah... Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Put this in a box and write on it: THE PAST Link to post Share on other sites
Woman In Blue Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Plus the sex was amazing. Please believe me when I tell you that you're only 18 and have no clue yet what amazing sex is. Trust me on that one. You have your whole life to find out what that truly is. You're going to have MANY relationships that are joys as well as heartbreaks, before you finally settle down with someone seriously in the future. He's not the last one that will break your heart Panda. He's just the first one. Hopefully you can learn from it, take something positive from it all, and move forward to your next adventure. Put the letters and cards in a box and up on a shelf. One day, you're going to read them and remember this time in your life, and you'll realize this was merely yet another little stepping stone in your journey in life. No more, and no less. Link to post Share on other sites
Viking Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 I kept my old letters from my last serious relationship (almost three years long, so plenty of letters). I ended up stumbling upon them when my current GF and I were having some issues. For me, it made me jealous and spiteful of my past relationship as I wanted my GF to say the things that my ex-gf said in the letters. It sucked as I envisioned my ex as being right there. It doesn't seem like a long time ago, but we broke up about three years ago...longer than our relationship and I've been dating my current GF for a little over two years now... Keep them but well hidden where you won't happen across them unless you know what you're looking at. Link to post Share on other sites
Author purplepanda Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Put this in a box and write on it: THE PAST thanks. Will do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author purplepanda Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Please believe me when I tell you that you're only 18 and have no clue yet what amazing sex is. Trust me on that one. You have your whole life to find out what that truly is. You're going to have MANY relationships that are joys as well as heartbreaks, before you finally settle down with someone seriously in the future. He's not the last one that will break your heart Panda. He's just the first one. Hopefully you can learn from it, take something positive from it all, and move forward to your next adventure. Put the letters and cards in a box and up on a shelf. One day, you're going to read them and remember this time in your life, and you'll realize this was merely yet another little stepping stone in your journey in life. No more, and no less. Thank you for your advice. And I don't normally admit this to people freely, but I've been with five. Some okay some bad... when i say it was amazing I mean this: I loved him. He was the one that I truly cared about. One reason it's so hard to say goodbye. But I have to. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author purplepanda Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 I kept my old letters from my last serious relationship (almost three years long, so plenty of letters). I ended up stumbling upon them when my current GF and I were having some issues. For me, it made me jealous and spiteful of my past relationship as I wanted my GF to say the things that my ex-gf said in the letters. It sucked as I envisioned my ex as being right there. It doesn't seem like a long time ago, but we broke up about three years ago...longer than our relationship and I've been dating my current GF for a little over two years now... Keep them but well hidden where you won't happen across them unless you know what you're looking at. Thanks, will do. Link to post Share on other sites
shayla Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Every word that man sent me I shredded. I realized that those letters were nothing but lies. The gifts he gave me, I threw away. The heart necklace I thought about keeping until I saw his wedding picture 2 months after our break up....his new wife had on the same necklace. I sold that. I did run across some emails from when we were having our 1ooth argument about the way he treated me. It made me cry because I was in so much pain and he kept lying and denying. There are only bad memories and i do not want to relive them ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author purplepanda Posted September 21, 2011 Author Share Posted September 21, 2011 Every word that man sent me I shredded. I realized that those letters were nothing but lies. The gifts he gave me, I threw away. The heart necklace I thought about keeping until I saw his wedding picture 2 months after our break up....his new wife had on the same necklace. I sold that. I did run across some emails from when we were having our 1ooth argument about the way he treated me. It made me cry because I was in so much pain and he kept lying and denying. There are only bad memories and i do not want to relive them ever again. He only ever wrote me two letters. I wrote him about fifty, and he sent those back to me. Those are the letters I don't know what to do with. Link to post Share on other sites
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