FaithInTheDark Posted August 27, 2011 Share Posted August 27, 2011 I have been hooking up with a friend for the past 2 months. we are just friends with benefits. well i was in his bed the other day and found a used condom beside his bed. it kinda pissed me off, cus thats not cool. I know hes not committed to me but, we are really honest with each other.a good friends. well, i was wondering if i should bring up what i found to him, or just call it quits? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 I have been hooking up with a friend for the past 2 months. we are just friends with benefits. well i was in his bed the other day and found a used condom beside his bed. it kinda pissed me off, cus thats not cool. I know hes not committed to me but, we are really honest with each other.a good friends. well, i was wondering if i should bring up what i found to him, or just call it quits? Why is it not cool? He has no commitment to you, he doesn't have to be with just you. You understand that friends with benefits is not the same as a relationship right? You knew what you were getting yourself into when you got into a non-committed sexual friends with benefits mess. If you bring it up, you'll like like a psycho. If you are not comfortable with sleeping with a non-committing man who sleeps around, just call it quits. No need to bring up what you found. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 28, 2011 Author Share Posted August 28, 2011 ok, thanks for the advice, it helps. i just thought it wasnt cool on account we are friends. and guess hes not obligated to tell me who else hes with. but we are really honest with each other. I will not bring it up to him. just figured i should since hes gonna wonder why im not into hooking up anymore. the last thing i want to do is look like a psycho. Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 I wouldnt bring up the used condom, but if you want him to be sexually exclusive with you (but still free to date others) then I would understand and would bring that up... Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 He is using protection bottom line. Now as for him not disposing of it properly that is a concern. Bring it up in the sense that its not very sanitary, it gets the message across and holds him accountable to clean up after his tryst. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorelai Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Even when I've done friends with benefits I expected sexual monogamy, because I feel it's essential for disease prevention. But anybody I've been with as a FWB has known and agreed to that -- it's been more "we ain't screwing anybody else, so we might as well screw each other". So it would upset me, but not hurt me. And at least he is using protection! Unless sexual monogamy had been pre-negotiated as a condition of the arrangement, him not telling you could actually be seen as him trying to do the right thing by not purposefully bringing up the fact he was having sex with other people. It could be considered hurtful and unnecessary to say. If you're upset about this on an emotional level or feel betrayed... it might be a good clue that you are getting too attached for a FWB situation. If that's the case, I'd just end it and not say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FaithInTheDark Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 just finding it turned me off from him a bit, im not upset. because im not getting attached, but i know the rules with FWB. we never have had the discussion about being sexually exclusive. which i should of made clear about the conditions i expected from the start.. I do like him as a friend, and liked having fun with him in the bed room, but now i just dont think we can be physical anymore due to what i came across, unless i make it clear we are sexually exclusive..i cant say im suprised though. I just dont know how i should bring it up if we are going to continue this. suppose i should just end it. thanks guys i appeciate the feedback Link to post Share on other sites
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