sleepessinoh Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 I ended it 2 weeks ago after 8 amazing months with one of the most amazing men I have ever met. I feel so head over heels and although I knew nothing was ever going to change. He supports me through my heart break. We knew it was going to end on a certain date and so we spent the most amazing few days dating and even sleeping over. I woke up in his arms knowing that was the end of it. He is so kind and held me while I cried. He knows how I feel and he feels what I feel but cant change his life. I knew that going in. I had to end it for my own good. How do I get past the most amazing man that I have ever met and beleive me I know he is a cheater, I dont forget that. But we fit together so perfectly..talk for hours on the phone and computer...spend hours together during the day and never get sick of each other and run out of things to say. He is still so kind and checking on me..seeing how I am. He asked for a lunch date next week and I told him I cant. I am not ready to see him...I will want to hold him and touch him and hell probably cry. He wants to remain in my life as a friend...doesnt want to lose me. Just the thought of him brings me to tears. I miss him so much and just want to feel better. I dont know if I ever will. I am trying to date...I want to move on..but single men play games and my mm never woud have treated me like they do. I miss hiim so much. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 I ended it 2 weeks ago after 8 amazing months with one of the most amazing men I have ever met. I feel so head over heels and although I knew nothing was ever going to change. He supports me through my heart break. We knew it was going to end on a certain date and so we spent the most amazing few days dating and even sleeping over. I woke up in his arms knowing that was the end of it. He is so kind and held me while I cried. He knows how I feel and he feels what I feel but cant change his life. I knew that going in. I had to end it for my own good. How do I get past the most amazing man that I have ever met and beleive me I know he is a cheater, I dont forget that. But we fit together so perfectly..talk for hours on the phone and computer...spend hours together during the day and never get sick of each other and run out of things to say. He is still so kind and checking on me..seeing how I am. He asked for a lunch date next week and I told him I cant. I am not ready to see him...I will want to hold him and touch him and hell probably cry. He wants to remain in my life as a friend...doesnt want to lose me. Just the thought of him brings me to tears. I miss him so much and just want to feel better. I dont know if I ever will. I am trying to date...I want to move on..but single men play games and my mm never woud have treated me like they do. I miss hiim so much. No, he won't change his life. There is a big difference in can't and won't. If you want to feel better stop pretending the cancer doesn't need to have chemo or radiation to get rid of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleepessinoh Posted August 28, 2011 Author Share Posted August 28, 2011 honeslty I am trying to date while I go through this. I knew this was not going to go anywhere even though I felt so much and I still do. This is done and over and kills me but I have to move on...would love to find someone who I can be with. Trying that...they play games so that is not working either. I really dont know how to get over this and move on...so it is both. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleepessinoh Posted August 28, 2011 Author Share Posted August 28, 2011 No, he won't change his life. There is a big difference in can't and won't. If you want to feel better stop pretending the cancer doesn't need to have chemo or radiation to get rid of it. very nicely put. I am ignorant or just a fool cause I never thought of it like that. Link to post Share on other sites
geejayess Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 I ended it 2 weeks ago after 8 amazing months with one of the most amazing men I have ever met. I feel so head over heels and although I knew nothing was ever going to change. He supports me through my heart break. We knew it was going to end on a certain date and so we spent the most amazing few days dating and even sleeping over. I woke up in his arms knowing that was the end of it. He is so kind and held me while I cried. He knows how I feel and he feels what I feel but cant change his life. I knew that going in. I had to end it for my own good. How do I get past the most amazing man that I have ever met and beleive me I know he is a cheater, I dont forget that. But we fit together so perfectly..talk for hours on the phone and computer...spend hours together during the day and never get sick of each other and run out of things to say. He is still so kind and checking on me..seeing how I am. He asked for a lunch date next week and I told him I cant. I am not ready to see him...I will want to hold him and touch him and hell probably cry. He wants to remain in my life as a friend...doesnt want to lose me. Just the thought of him brings me to tears. I miss him so much and just want to feel better. I dont know if I ever will. I am trying to date...I want to move on..but single men play games and my mm never woud have treated me like they do. I miss hiim so much. Hey Sleep. I put that line in bold because that is what I have heard, time and time again (I've broken up with my xMM lots of times, but always went back) And while you may agree that because you are friends you should be able to see each other, whenever, whatever- its not true. I can't see my 'friend' because it hurts too much; when being with someone hurts more than it feels good- something is wrong. If he was your friend he would respect your wishes to not see him, not just disregard what you say when you end it by asking for a lunch date. You and I (and lots of OW) are probably too nice to be a bitch about it, but by saving his feelings you are trampling all over your own. (I'm talking to myself here, too, so please don't feel like I am being insensitive to your pain.) I know you miss him- you've got a week on me with NC, so I know how you feel. But if you are serious about your decision to end it, for whatever reason, just cry it out and then find something to do to keep yourself occupied. In one week I have done two weeks worth of homework for my online class, cleaned my kitchen, bathroom, living room, done laundry, grocery shopping, went to the library TWICE, and went to the movies with my boys- that doesn't include making breakfast lunch and dinner for my kids daily and preparing for this hurricane roaring up the east coast. Stay busy. Keep reading posts on here. I didn't like what I was reading at first, but I realized that most of what I was reading comes from a good place- the people on here have been where you are. So cry if you need to, stay busy if you can, read when you feel tempted... good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 very nicely put. I am ignorant or just a fool cause I never thought of it like that. I have no idea if you are ignorant or a fool. I do know if you are capable of lying and deceiving, you should be more than clever enough to say, "you know this isn't the life I want. I want the person that I am in love with and who makes me happy." It happens everyday all over the world. It happens right here in this little corner of the world of LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sleepessinoh Posted August 28, 2011 Author Share Posted August 28, 2011 Here is a thread about NC. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t293997/ You can't remain friends with him and move on at the same time, it doesn't work. thank you for the thread. I am going to read it 50 times before Monday when I will get an email asking how my weekend was. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 honeslty I am trying to date while I go through this. I knew this was not going to go anywhere even though I felt so much and I still do. This is done and over and kills me but I have to move on...would love to find someone who I can be with. Trying that...they play games so that is not working either. I really dont know how to get over this and move on...so it is both. So you are in love with a MM and you are trying to date? How is that fair to these guys? And you think a single guy plays games yet a MM doesn't????? He wants you to stay in his life to be his ego stroke - when he is feeling down he can call you and you can cry and tell him how much you love and miss him. The last thing you need right now is communication from him. Tell him to leave you alone. Tell him to not contact you. And FYI - most couples who date spend time together, talk to each other and enjoy each other. Not only did you do this with a MM, he also did this with his wife. When he started dating her, they talked all the time, spent time laughing together, made love, planned a future. Now that they are married, they spend time together, laugh together and talk during the day. Not sure why you think that they don't have a past that includes all the same things you are doing with him Link to post Share on other sites
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