Girlfriend went on trip to vegas with her girlfriends

[fltc]

true, but in this case it isn't a man not trusting his partner for no reason. she has PROVEN herself untrustworthy.

 

you made it sound as if he is the one with the problem. he's not.

 

Again you miss the point, it *IS* his problem. It's his lack of trust. justified or not, that should make him leave the relationship.

 

It makes no difference if the lack of trust is justified or not, w/o trust a relationship cannot be a good one.

 

If you don't trust your partner, end it. If justified, go, if not, go.

 

Either way the lack of trust will destroy the relationship or, if the relationship has already been destroyed, lack of trust will make any reconciliation fail sooner or later.

Edited September 4, 2011 by fltc

[Saul Goodman]

Again you miss the point, it *IS* his problem. It's his lack of trust. justified or not, that should make him leave the relationship.

 

It makes no difference if the lack of trust is justified or not, w/o trust a relationship cannot be a good one.

 

If you don't trust your partner, end it. If justified, go, if not, go.

 

Either way the lack of trust will destroy the relationship or, if the relationship has already been destroyed, lack of trust will make any reconciliation fail sooner or later.

 

Actually, I agree with this.

 

The thing is, his lack of trust towards his SO isn't necessarily a bad thing in this case. And that is why I think that people are jumping on your ass fltc. Miscommunication.

 

Yes, it is bad for the relationship itself. No, it doesn't have to be a bad thing for the OP on a personal level.

 

To be honest, if this is how things are going to start, I don't see the marriage working out too well.

[Memphis Raines]

Again you miss the point, it *IS* his problem. It's his lack of trust. justified or not, that should make him leave the relationship.

 

It makes no difference if the lack of trust is justified or not, w/o trust a relationship cannot be a good one.

 

If you don't trust your partner, end it. If justified, go, if not, go.

 

Either way the lack of trust will destroy the relationship or, if the relationship has already been destroyed, lack of trust will make any reconciliation fail sooner or later.

 

you missed the point. it isn't lack of trust that destroyed this relationship, its her cheating that destroyed the relationship, not his lack of trust AFTER the fact.

 

sounds like he'd trust her just fine if he didn't find out what a POS she is.

 

yes, he should leave. but again, you simply made it sound like he is just an untrusting person for no reason..

[ASG]

Let's have a little fun with that:

 

What if they started kissing during the grinding (it happens quite often, at least in my cases)? Not necessarily full-blown make out session, more like he really feels strongly about her and randomly kisses exposed parts of her body, and boy, does she like it? Yet, you know you still take him home.

 

If you're OK with that, how about a situation, if they both disappear, presumably to go to the toilet to have a quickie/BJ/whatever? And yet, you still take him home...

 

I was talking about DANCING. Dancing does NOT involve kissing/BJ/whatever! And dancing does NOT necessarily lead to any of those things! I know, I've done it!

 

If I'm in a relationship and I think a situation might be "dangerous", I avoid it. But going to Vegas does NOT have to be a dangerous situation. Not more than going anywhere else.

Men are everywhere and noone needs to go to Vegas to get laid if they choose to.

[ASG]

you missed the point. it isn't lack of trust that destroyed this relationship, its her cheating that destroyed the relationship, not his lack of trust AFTER the fact.

 

sounds like he'd trust her just fine if he didn't find out what a POS she is.

 

yes, he should leave. but again, you simply made it sound like he is just an untrusting person for no reason..

 

Wait... Where does it say she cheated??? The OP says she once took a number! That's not cheating. May not be terribly appropriate, but it's not cheating.

Going to Vegas is also not cheating. Nor is dancing with people or getting drunk. So tell me again (and I've checked the OPs posts... he only made the one!) where did she cheat???

[Woggle]

Would the women here really be okay if their men took a wild trip to Vegas with the guys? My wife and I went there two years ago and both of us got hit on all the time when we were separated and sometimes with each other.

[rafallus]

I was talking about DANCING. Dancing does NOT involve kissing/BJ/whatever! And dancing does NOT necessarily lead to any of those things! I know, I've done it!

You mentioned grinding explicitly in one of your previous post.

 

As long as there is no kissing and groping, grind all you want, I'll be taking him home, not you!

Good luck with having grinding without groping. That's certainly not how people in all the clubs I've ever been roll. It's pretty intuitive step to grab body of a grinding girl and feel her curves.

 

Kissing isn't mandatory, but happens pretty damn often, which is to be expected, after all two attractive people rub their genital areas with each other.

[Ginger Beer]

I was talking about DANCING. Dancing does NOT involve kissing/BJ/whatever! And dancing does NOT necessarily lead to any of those things! I know, I've done it!

 

If I'm in a relationship and I think a situation might be "dangerous", I avoid it. But going to Vegas does NOT have to be a dangerous situation. Not more than going anywhere else.

Men are everywhere and noone needs to go to Vegas to get laid if they choose to.

 

Wait... Where does it say she cheated??? The OP says she once took a number! That's not cheating. May not be terribly appropriate, but it's not cheating.

Going to Vegas is also not cheating. Nor is dancing with people or getting drunk. So tell me again (and I've checked the OPs posts... he only made the one!) where did she cheat???

 

Reading your posts make me genuinely annoyed, you seem to think it's OK to surround yourself with temptation and push your luck as long as you don't put a penis in your vagina.

 

If grinding with other men in a night club after you've had a drink isn't a dangerous situation then I don't know what is. Your posts are that ridiculous I'm starting to think you're a troll.

 

If you carry on like this, you will cheat. See you in 5 years starting a thread in this forum along the lines of 'I accidently cheated... I don't know how it happened , I was just dancing and then...'.

Edited September 7, 2011 by Ginger Beer

[ASG]

Reading your posts make me genuinely annoyed, you seem to think it's OK to surround yourself with temptation and push your luck as long as you don't put a penis in your vagina.

 

If grinding with other men in a night club after you've had a drink isn't a dangerous situation then I don't know what is. Your posts are that ridiculous I'm starting to think you're a troll.

 

If you carry on like this, you will cheat. See you in 5 years starting a thread in this forum along the lines of 'I accidently cheated... I don't know how it happened , I was just dancing and then...'.

 

I don't necessarily surround myself with temptation, but I don't avoid it completely either. Because that is actually impossible!

 

Whether you go to Vegas or somewhere else, people will hit on you and it's up to you to show/not show interest.

I was at a convention this weekend nad the amount of guys hitting on me was surreal! It wasn't Vegas!

Or are you saying that girls in a relationship can't go anywhere to have a bit of fun without their SO's? Cause girls will be hit on ANYWHERE! And not being "allowed" out without supervison is BULL****!

Same as I let my SO go out with his friends and party and go on "guy holidays", without a problem!

 

And noone "accidentally" cheats! You make a conscious decision to do it. Which is why you will *never* see me post a thread here about it, if I ever *do* cheat (which is doubtful), because... first of all, I would get no support frm LS. I imagine I certainly wouldn't need anyone else making me feel any guiltier and that's all LSers do around here.

Second of all.. I don't like to whine about my mistakes. I own up to them or I hide them as best as I can.

[Memphis Raines]

Wait... Where does it say she cheated??? The OP says she once took a number! That's not cheating.

 

sure it is.

 

if she didn't want the guys number for obvious reasons, and she is in a committed relationship, she would have simply denied and said she has a man already. she didn't. she is, at the very least, emotionally unfaithful.

 

even if it isn't considered cheating, she DOES give him reason to not trust her. getting a guy's number at a club is but one example. again the point being, he HAS reason to not trust her because of HER behavior.

[Memphis Raines]

If grinding with other men in a night club after you've had a drink isn't a dangerous situation then I don't know what is. Your posts are that ridiculous I'm starting to think you're a troll.

.

 

and just what is grinding? simulated sex on the dancefloor.

 

I don't think I want to be with someone that likes to pretend they are having sex with someone else on the dancefloor.

[Memphis Raines]

I don't necessarily surround myself with temptation, but I don't avoid it completely either. Because that is actually impossible!

 

and I don't avoid going to the zoo because there is a remote possibility that a lion will escape from its pit.

 

but I'm not going to jump right into the pit with it. Hence going to sin city, and yes, its called that for a reason.

[Ginger Beer]

I don't necessarily surround myself with temptation, but I don't avoid it completely either. Because that is actually impossible!

 

Whether you go to Vegas or somewhere else, people will hit on you and it's up to you to show/not show interest.

I was at a convention this weekend nad the amount of guys hitting on me was surreal! It wasn't Vegas!

Or are you saying that girls in a relationship can't go anywhere to have a bit of fun without their SO's? Cause girls will be hit on ANYWHERE! And not being "allowed" out without supervison is BULL****!

Same as I let my SO go out with his friends and party and go on "guy holidays", without a problem!

 

And noone "accidentally" cheats! You make a conscious decision to do it. Which is why you will *never* see me post a thread here about it, if I ever *do* cheat (which is doubtful), because... first of all, I would get no support frm LS. I imagine I certainly wouldn't need anyone else making me feel any guiltier and that's all LSers do around here.

Second of all.. I don't like to whine about my mistakes. I own up to them or I hide them as best as I can.

 

Yes, girls will be hit on anywhere, I agree, but going to a night club means you're going there in some way for the opposite sex. Going out to have fun in my opinion means going somewhere where there is a hobby/interest structured around said destination, for example a bowling alley, a cinema, a football match, a museum etc... girls can be hit on in these places of course but they aren't going there with the intention of receiving male attention, because like I said on page 1 the first place you'll go for a one night stand is a night club so if they wanted male attention they'd head there.

 

Re: the 'nobody accidently cheats' comment, yes you are correct, but I was making a joke, there is a thread posted by a woman in this forum with that as the thread title.

 

and just what is grinding? simulated sex on the dancefloor.

 

I don't think I want to be with someone that likes to pretend they are having sex with someone else on the dancefloor.

 

Completely agree.

[ASG]

LOL; have you heard of DANCING? Which is, in fact, what people do in night clubs! I love dancing! Not to just any music though, I'm very particular about it, but if the DJ is rocking out some 80's rock, I'llbe on the dance floor and I go to Rock clubs OFTEN for *just* that purpose and I have *NEVER* gone home with anyone!

 

And I've gone with girl friends. SINGLE girl friends. And that doesn't mean we leave the club with company.

I actually find it really dangerous!

So yeah... people actually go to clubs to have fun and have a few drinks and DANCE!!!!!!

 

(as for the "accidentally" thing, yes, I did realize it was a dig at the other post. I still maintain my point though, I would not come here to whine, like that girl!)

[Memphis Raines]

LOL; have you heard of DANCING?

 

grinding isn't dancing. its getting your rocks of with someone and trying to make an argument that it is acceptable because its "dancing".

 

Now if its simply dancing where the hands aren't all over each other, or uglies aren't being bumped, then ok.

 

 

LOL, have you heard of simulated sex on the dancefloor.....and people trying to say its dancing?

[Ginger Beer]

LOL; have you heard of DANCING? Which is, in fact, what people do in night clubs! I love dancing! Not to just any music though, I'm very particular about it, but if the DJ is rocking out some 80's rock, I'llbe on the dance floor and I go to Rock clubs OFTEN for *just* that purpose and I have *NEVER* gone home with anyone!

 

And I've gone with girl friends. SINGLE girl friends. And that doesn't mean we leave the club with company.

I actually find it really dangerous!

So yeah... people actually go to clubs to have fun and have a few drinks and DANCE!!!!!!

 

(as for the "accidentally" thing, yes, I did realize it was a dig at the other post. I still maintain my point though, I would not come here to whine, like that girl!)

 

Go to a dancing class then. Hope this helps.

[ASG]

Go to a dancing class then. Hope this helps.

 

You're missing the point. I *DO* go to dance classes! But I also like to go to clubs and DANCE!

I never thought of clubs as a pick up place, even though I'm hit on CONSTANTLY, because I would just never take home a complete stranger!

 

The fact that *YOU* have a twisted idea about what night clubs are for, doesn't mean we all do!

[Memphis Raines]

I love it when I have ever heard someone that is rubbing their crotches all over each other on the dancefloor, or a woman bent over and pretending the dance partner is f****g her from behind.

 

and then saying its "just dancing":rolleyes:

[TheGrimSweeper]

I'm a guy and am going to give my opinion on this.

 

I wouldn't be thrilled at all either if my girlfriend went to Vegas with the girls but I would trust her not to do anything wrong. You can't stop her from doing what she wants to do, that will only create resentment on her side towards you.

 

If something did happen, or if she started acting really weird and distant when she returned then alarm bells would raise and you could question it.

If she did cheat, then you know shes trash and you could dump her on the spot.

 

It's almost kind of a way of testing them. if she does cheat, then you know she never cared about you in the first place and your better off.

 

But creating an enviroment where you constantly feel threatened and dont trust her is just going to lead to a hostile relationship.. and that wont last either.

[Memphis Raines]

You're missing the point. I *DO* go to dance classes! But I also like to go to clubs and DANCE!

 

and when you go to clubs, do you grind your crotch on another guy? do you let him act like he is penetrating you from behind?

 

if so, that aint dancing, and not what GB and I are talking about.

 

if not, then more power to ya

 

 

I never thought of clubs as a pick up place, even though I'm hit on CONSTANTLY

 

hit on constantly, and it never occurred to you the real reason people go?

 

would you go to a club if it was just all women? of course you wouldn't(but somehow I think you will try to say that you would)

[Ginger Beer]

You're missing the point. I *DO* go to dance classes! But I also like to go to clubs and DANCE!

I never thought of clubs as a pick up place, even though I'm hit on CONSTANTLY, because I would just never take home a complete stranger!

 

The fact that *YOU* have a twisted idea about what night clubs are for, doesn't mean we all do!

 

Night clubs are there for single people to meet the opposite sex. This is a fact. That's their primary purpose.

 

I'm a guy and am going to give my opinion on this.

 

I wouldn't be thrilled at all either if my girlfriend went to Vegas with the girls but I would trust her not to do anything wrong. You can't stop her from doing what she wants to do, that will only create resentment on her side towards you.

 

If something did happen, or if she started acting really weird and distant when she returned then alarm bells would raise and you could question it.

If she did cheat, then you know shes trash and you could dump her on the spot.

 

It's almost kind of a way of testing them. if she does cheat, then you know she never cared about you in the first place and your better off.

 

But creating an enviroment where you constantly feel threatened and dont trust her is just going to lead to a hostile relationship.. and that wont last either.

 

Who said anything about stopping her doing what she wants to do? If I found myself in that situation, I'd end it. If she wants to do that ****, she can, just not with me sat at home while she's acting like a slut.

 

hit on constantly, and it never occurred to you the real reason people go?

 

would you go to a club if it was just all women? of course you wouldn't(but somehow I think you will try to say that you would)

 

 

ASG you're contradicting yourself.

[ASG]

Night clubs are there for single people to meet the opposite sex. This is a fact. That's their primary purpose.

 

 

ASG you're contradicting yourself.

 

No I'm not. The fact that other people try to pick me up, doesn't make it, for me, a prime spot for pick ups! Mostly because, relying on my experience and my friends', it doesn't really happen that often anyway (the actual pick up, not the trying)!

 

I most certainly would go to a club with just women. I mostly go with just girls and pay absolutely NO attention to anyone else. I don't dress up in tiny dresses and ridiculous heels. I go in jeans and smart trainers.

I

[Ginger Beer]

We're kinda going round in circles now. We'll have to agree to disagree because this is going nowhere. I think night clubs are for one night stands, you don't. That's all there is to say, I think.

[ASG]

Yes, sure.

But the main issue is that you think girls in relationships can't go to night clubs, because if they do, they are there to pick up some random guy and cheat on their SO. Same applies to Vegas.

I think that just shows *your* lack of trust and not that the girls will actually do anything wrong.

 

And*THAT* for me, is a problem. Or would be if we ever dated.

[Woggle]

Would you be okay with your man going to bars?