loverboy1984 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Im trying to see what age group of women are out there not aimlessly dating but looking for a meaningful relationship which may end up in something serious. I know early 20's girls just want to have fun and see whats out there but Im guessing late twenties they start to be more vigilant and not just date but look for meaningful relationships. This also relates to women who have broken up with a guy from an LTR do to GIGS, and start to realize that they are having empty relationships. I just want to see if its true that some women are trying to beat the biological clock and possibly get married before 34. I feel like women in their 30's are a mixed bag. They either dont want to settle down at all or are too desperate thus coming across as a red flag. Just curious and want to see what people have to say about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 The majority of girls will want to settle down with you no matter how old they are (this includes early twenties), IF they believe you're The One. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Agreed. I settled down with my ex when I was 24, he was 20, we were solid for 18 years. It can happen at any age if that person is the one for you. The majority of girls will want to settle down with you no matter how old they are (this includes early twenties), IF they believe you're The One. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Agree with Andy. I found "the one" when I was 20 and thought it would last forever. I was divorced by 25 and have been single the subsequent 27 years, just NOW thinking it might be time to settle down again. Every woman is different, but when they have a strong attachment to someone, their psychology wants it to make it last. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I've always wanted to settle down. Because of this I held on to the wrong men in my twenties hoping they would become right. I wasted my 20's doing this. Now in my 30's I reject more men because of the urgency I feel to find someone right (not perfect, but right for me) and get married. I know now that people don 't turn into the right one if they aren't to begin with. IMO, no woman rejects the right man because she isn't ready to settle down. He's not the right man if she does. She might not marry him at 18, but she won't flat out reject him. I feel like the women who "aimlessly date," as you say, without wanting a serious relationship are very rare. I don't know any. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Coming from a bitter perspective, I'd say when they stop getting attention from the hot guys... Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Coming from a bitter perspective, I'd say when they stop getting attention from the hot guys... A lot of women don't care about the hot guys and a lot would never be able to get the hot guys anyway. (But you knew that:)) Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 A lot of women don't care about the hot guys and a lot would never be able to get the hot guys anyway. (But you knew that:)) So they try to settle down earlier in life...? Or as soon as humanly possible...? Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 So they try to settle down earlier in life...? Or as soon as humanly possible...? Actually, yes. From what I've seen, less attractive people have it easier (as long they're attracted to other less attractive people) when it comes to dating and getting married. So people who care less about looks will have it easier. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Actually, yes. From what I've seen, less attractive people have it easier (as long they're attracted to other less attractive people) when it comes to dating and getting married. So people who care less about looks will have it easier. Being one of these "less attractive" people is anything but easy. With dating opportunities so few and far between, it actually puts a LOT more pressure on things. You have less experience to help with decisions to dive into a relationship. You have to worry about your partner being on the look for someone more attractive and "exciting". You miss out on the great sex that others in ONSs and FWB situations seem to be having. I would much rather have been good at attraction and have to flounder in relationship instead of the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Most of the women in my locale and generation were married with children by their early twenties. As an example, as I married late, my exW was on her third marriage (with me). Most of the women I dated in my twenties and definitely thirties were single mothers who had been divorced at least once. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Being one of these "less attractive" people is anything but easy. With dating opportunities so few and far between, it actually puts a LOT more pressure on things. You have less experience to help with decisions to dive into a relationship. You have to worry about your partner being on the look for someone more attractive and "exciting". You miss out on the great sex that others in ONSs and FWB situations seem to be having. I would much rather have been good at attraction and have to flounder in relationship instead of the other way around. I don't think as many people are having ONS and FWB as you think. ONS and FWB=gross for me. I don't see anything appealing about it. It sounds like you're saying attractive people are better at sex and therefore have better sex. Great sex is not reserved for beautiful people. I can see why you had less than stellar sex if you were lamenting the fact that your partner wasn't a model the whole time. When you date someone (even if you're very attractive) there could be the concern that they want someone else, and they might go find someone else. When you feel secure in a relationship, you don't think about these things, regardless of how you or the other person looks. Link to post Share on other sites
counterman Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Should I be looking for someone to settle down with while I'm studying? I That's the advice I've been getting from a few friends and relatives... they say its harder to meet girls outside. I just don't want to struggle meeting women when I start working. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 It depends. Do you have the time and energy to put into a committed intimate relationship? That's what 'settling down' is. For a guy who's used to freedom and casual living, e.g. the 'bachelor life', it can be a big change, especially if you're consumed with school and work. When I was in my 20's and building my business and estate, I couldn't imagine having time for a healthy relationship as I was working and sleeping and eating with no time for anything consistent, only having occasional contact with friends. Such a routine would have been completely unfair to a woman IMO. Late 20's, things changed, after buying my second house. Then I had more time and more 'nesting' interest. As single women during that period were very few and far between, it really wasn't an issue. Your path is your own. Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 The majority of girls will want to settle down with you no matter how old they are (this includes early twenties), IF they believe you're The One. You said it best. Even when I was in my early 20s, the women did want to marry and settle down, but they wanted Mr. Bad Boy or Mr. Exciting to be the husband. Over time, when they get burned enough on picking the wrong men, the standards either come down or they get angered and choose the standpoint of "I'll die alone before I settle." This is why, despite many who disagree, that I tell you guys to push to become the men these women want. You can be nice, sweet, charming, a gentleman, etc...but if the "rest" isn't what they want in a man, then you're screwed. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I think a lot of women start wanting to settle down in their VERY early 20s (I've seen girls 21 years old freaking out because their boyfriend hasn't proposed yet), but only because they want the wedding, the attention of being engaged & getting married, etc. By the time they hit their late 20s, hopefully most people are looking for the marriage not just the wedding. I agree with iris that women who "aimlessly date" are rare. Most want to settle down, whether for the right or wrong reasons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Everyone is different. I didn't want to settle down until after I turned 40. That's when a lot of men and women who married young usually get divorced and just want to play. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I've found that it often depends on the geographical area. Where I live in Northern California, there are a multitude of child-free, career-minded women who are choosing to marry in their early and mid 30s. This is in contrast to other areas of the United States which I've visited or lived. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I am almost 30 and really just started feeling the pressure to settle down. Suddenly, I feel like the sands in the hourglass are moving quickly, and perhaps that's is adding to the pain of my most recent breakup. I get that I have time, and there's no rush, but it is a real fear to wonder if I will, in fact, meet a suitable man for me before I am past child bearing years. But... I still feel 21, so when I date, I look to just have a good time and see if there is a connection. All I can do is be me and put myself out there! Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Should I be looking for someone to settle down with while I'm studying? I That's the advice I've been getting from a few friends and relatives... they say its harder to meet girls outside. I just don't want to struggle meeting women when I start working. On the other hand, as you develop your career and make some money, you may be considered a better catch than you would be now as a student. You may not need to meet as many women to find one that you want to settle down with. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I've found that it often depends on the geographical area. Where I live in Northern California, there are a multitude of child-free, career-minded women who are choosing to marry in their early and mid 30s. This is in contrast to other areas of the United States which I've visited or lived. This is really true. Many cities in the NE corridor of the US also have a multitude of women who aren't ready to settle down until they reach their 30s, for the exact same reasons many guys in these regions aren't yet ready: focus on career. So where you live, OP, could make a big difference. That said, people come in all shapes and sizes. It's really hard to give a specific answer to a very general question. Link to post Share on other sites
April72 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I blame it on Disney!!! LOL. From the time we are three we are looking for our Prince Charming to resue us and make us a Pretty Princess. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I blame it on Disney!!! LOL. From the time we are three we are looking for our Prince Charming to resue us and make us a Pretty Princess. I know it is not a Disney movie, but growing up I LOVED The Last Unicorn. As an adult, I see how different it is from Disney movies. The last unicorn becomes a woman, a prince falls in love with her but she can't understand love... so he helps her but then she becomes a unicorn again, saves the day, and takes off. It was so inspiring to me as a little girl. I totally wanted to be her! Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 I think a lot of women start wanting to settle down in their VERY early 20s (I've seen girls 21 years old freaking out because their boyfriend hasn't proposed yet), but only because they want the wedding, the attention of being engaged & getting married, etc. agreed. those are also the ones who'll wind up screwing the pool boy later. Link to post Share on other sites
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