How can a nice guy learn to be a bad boy?

[oaks]

I have found throughout my 43 years of life that nice guys finish last. Yes, it's true and anyone who tries to say otherwise is in denial.

 

Absolute BS.

[Elysian Powder]

I totally get what you're saying

"if I'm not good enough for you now, damned if I'm gonna settle for you when you're old and ugly"

I totally get it.

 

The poster above you also made a comment about girls giving their virginity to the bad boys or some noise like that (he wrote too much, I read most of it, but not all)

 

here's a personal fact:

The guy I first slept with was a good guy. He was my first love and I wanted to wait for love for my first time.

 

I could have slept with any azzhole bad guy before that, but I'm glad that I waited for love and I waited for him.

 

We didn't work out.

 

After we broke up, I did go through a phase of not wanting to get emotionally attached to anyone and most of the guys that were attracted to me where the underachiever "bad boys" - so I had some fun with them.

 

But I grew up a lot during that time and I realized that those guys are fun only for a short period of time and they are fun only when I was in a certain state of mind (not wanting attachment of commitment).

 

Now, almost 5 years after the "good guy" first love and i broke up - we found each other again, and we both feel very lucky to have a second chance.

 

I guess maybe I didn't word things the best, but what I meant to say is that the "bad boys" seem like a thrill, a short lived on, and only when a girl is in a certain frame of mind (that's my experience at least).

 

I'm not saying that the good guys are not fun - of course they are, but its not the same reckless fun you have with the bad boys.

That's why, as we grow older and our common sense hopefully has become more "common" we no longer look for the dumba$$ antics of the bad boy.

 

Not really. Human beings aren't as dumb as we make ourselves be. Why do guys go to nightclubs, risking their safety? Are they dumb? Nah, it's simply a itch they're having in down town, thus they seek to calm it down. Biological impulses cause the young woman to want a bad boy.

 

Science has proved this over and over, many times.

 

It's very straight-forward.

 

When I display bad boy characteristics/behaviors, they just want to shag me and then return to their safe and boring boyfriend.

 

If, on the other hand, I present a provider profile, they probably want to make me their boyfriend and will probably do to me, what the women who perceive me as a bad boy, are willing of doing with me.

 

Hard choice.

[TigerCub]

Good guys want sex and intimacy as much as the "bad boys". Just because we may not be most aggressive or charismatic in a hook-up environment -- and thus feel more comfortable in a relationship -- doesn't mean that we don't want the same (or more) intensity and associated attraction that the "bad boys" get through their ONSs. If a woman wants to spend the rest of her life with me, then it should also mean that her raw, involuntary, primal physical attraction to me exceeds anything she would feel for even the hottest looking, most charismatic player she could imagine. Is that too much to ask?

 

So why not up your game and become more confident and charismatic?

 

so are you saying that because you don't have the skills you feel would get you a ONS you pretend to want a relationship?

Are you only in a relationship to get sex - and you really wouldn't be if you could easily get laid?

[GoodOnPaper]

so are you saying that because you don't have the skills you feel would get you a ONS you pretend to want a relationship?

Are you only in a relationship to get sex - and you really wouldn't be if you could easily get laid?

 

I don't know -- I think I would still choose to be in a relationship -- at least it would be a choice. But it still sounds like you're saying that women are actually more attracted to the ONS guys.

[rafallus]

I agree. Its just for the "bad boys" the thrill they provide is mainly attached to drugs, partying, etc...

 

The "good guys" - their adrenaline thrill is more from bungee jumping, sky diving, etc...

 

both very good and fun in their own right, but the first is more appealing to a girl that's younger and more easily amused.

 

That's all I was saying.

 

I'm mainly speaking for me, so other women might disagree, I just find that as I got older, what's fun and thrilling changed for me.

The things I used to see as "ooooh can't wait to tell my girls about this" completely changed.

And to me that links to what I found thrilling with the "bad boy" and what I find thrilling with the "good guy"

 

I am not questioning, there are girls who go for drug dealers/thugs/pimps - it would be stupid to deny it.

 

What I question is, is being a drug dealer/thug/pimp a sole way to attract any young girl?

 

IME, answer is no.

 

isn't a good guy looking for one night stands = a bad boy?

 

I always thought good guys weren't into that kind of thing...correct me if I'm wrong.

 

Not necessarily.

 

If he lies his way to get ONS, then sure. If everything is understood, he doesn't pursue further, nor does woman, I don't see anything really "bad" in it.

[Emilia]

I think OP it generally comes down to what you want from your contacts with the opposite sex. Flings or relationships? To be a womaniser you will have to learn to switch your compassion off for those human beings you pump and dump. If you are still after relationships, you need to find where you are going wrong with your people-picker

[TigerCub]

I don't know -- I think I would still choose to be in a relationship -- at least it would be a choice. But it still sounds like you're saying that women are actually more attracted to the ONS guys.

 

All I'm saying - when I wasn't in the frame of mind to want a commitment, of course I would go for the ONS guys.

I wasn't going to lead someone on and pretend to be able to give them something that I know I couldn't give.

That's all.

 

I understand what you're saying about wanting a choice. I totally get that.

 

Its funny, I was just asking my bf about this topic (right now on the phone) and he says to me

"Its not so much that I was upset because girls chose the bad boys over me, its just that some girls just didn't chose me"

 

By that he meant, when he was dating, he was disappointed if he didn't get with a certain girl, but it wasn't good guys vs. bad boys - its just about not getting who you want at a certain point in time. -> not having that choice with a girl he wanted.

 

I get that.

[Elysian Powder]

Good guys want sex and intimacy as much as the "bad boys". Just because we may not be most aggressive or charismatic in a hook-up environment -- and thus feel more comfortable in a relationship -- doesn't mean that we don't want the same (or more) intensity and associated attraction that the "bad boys" get through their ONSs. If a woman wants to spend the rest of her life with me, then it should also mean that her raw, involuntary, primal physical attraction to me exceeds anything she would feel for even the hottest looking, most charismatic player she could imagine. Is that too much to ask?

 

Why don't you make an effort to get what you want? Michael Jordan wasn't born the best player in the world. It took him many years, a lot of blood and tears shed, and a lot of sacrifices to become #1.

 

Brad Pitt himself had problems in getting women, so I know that it can be troubling at first.

 

Your situation is more than solvable.

 

1) Start working out.

2)Find yourself some good-looking guy friends and go out with them.

3)Dress better.

4)Have your teeth fixed/whitened.

5)Make yourself approachable by putting in front of people confident body language.

)6 Profit.

 

You must also flirt and ask most of the women out. Most of the women will reject you, but with exp. you'll end up on the receiving end of a lot of 'yes'.

 

Now, the first thing you guys must do is to stop whining how unfair life is, and how x guy has a lot of gfs.

 

That is such a turn-off for women. They want to be banged by real men, not by big kids.

[TigerCub]

I am not questioning, there are girls who go for drug dealers/thugs/pimps - it would be stupid to deny it.

 

What I question is, is being a drug dealer/thug/pimp a sole way to attract any young girl?

 

IME, answer is no.

Completely agree with you!

Also even in my more reckless days - I still had my limits

 

 

Not necessarily.

 

If he lies his way to get ONS, then sure. If everything is understood, he doesn't pursue further, nor does woman, I don't see anything really "bad" in it.

 

I can see that.

Definitely, as long as its honest, I don't see a problem.

I just honestly didn't think that "good guys" would be big on the one night stands because they look for more substance - but hey! we all have needs and as long as the intention is honest - nothin bad about that.

 

Thanks

[TigerCub]

 

When I display bad boy characteristics/behaviors, they just want to shag me and then return to their safe and boring boyfriend.

Yeah, but you were attracting women that didn't have anything worthwhile to offer.

Besides the sex and the partying, there was nothing good to build on.

That's what people need to realize - then decide, do you want the mindless good time, or the great relationship that will also include the sex, the fun, but so much more.

 

If, on the other hand, I present a provider profile, they probably want to make me their boyfriend and will probably do to me, what the women who perceive me as a bad boy, are willing of doing with me.

 

Hard choice.

Not all good guys get cheated on.

Maybe you think that because of the girls you got mixed up with in you bad boy days - but thinking that all nice guys get cheated on isn't accurate.

[GoodOnPaper]

By that he meant, when he was dating, he was disappointed if he didn't get with a certain girl, but it wasn't good guys vs. bad boys - its just about not getting who you want at a certain point in time. -> not having that choice with a girl he wanted.

 

It's good if you can keep a sense of what you want. I spiraled to the dark side early on and things became about identifying any hint of an inkling of potential interest from more or less any woman I came in contact with. At this stage in my life, this whole thing is just a mid-life philosophical conundrum that I'm trying to solve -- but I hope the OP is able to make some adjustments in his life without losing too much of his true self.

[grkBoy]

nice guys finish last

 

Many still finish...while the "bad boys" end up in drama with low-class women.

 

You need to also think deeply about and find out the difference between a guy who is decent and kind to women versus a spineless doormat who panders to women in the hopes one will love him.

 

 

A nice guy, as a rule, will only attract average women. They rarely get the really desirable woman - the women all men want... and if they do they don't usually get to keep them for long.

 

This is already the biggest mistake many doormats and actual "nice guys" make. They seem to think all women are the same in terms of common sense and self esteem. They wonder why all the "bad men" are dating fashion models while the "nice guys" end up with average to ugly women.

 

THEY NEVER REALLY LOOK AT THOSE WOMEN!

 

I made the same mistake. You see little Ms Hottie with her pretty face, lovely hair, and sexy body, and even how she ends up with one douchebag after the next...occasionally complaining how she can never meet good men. So you instantly think "hey...I'm a good man, why not date me?"

 

The problem is little Ms Hottie isn't saying what she really means. She's asking why the tall gorgeous wealthy exciting men she's so hot for won't commit and respect her. Why they won't make a wonderful life of romance, wild sex, trips, and luxury for her...and instead see her as a piece of tail.

 

The minute you see a woman literally and voluntarily pick a jerk to be with, someone we all know is a bonna-fide jerk, not just some guy with charm, then you know THIS ISN'T A WOMAN! SHE IS A GIRL!

 

She is immature and probably suffers from low self-esteem. She equates her sense of self value with the man she has, and she sees you and other "nice guys" as a step down, settling for less. She sees her hot jerks as the valued prizes, and the "winner" is the one who can tame one into a solid committed relationship. When her playa hottie suddenly can't fathom sex with anyone else, and wants to bring her flowers, marry her, and give her children.

 

You notice how many of those women you encountered never get that fantasy, do you?

 

If you attract "average" women, then you're ahead of many who can't even get a date. You should really look at those women and think LONG TERM. I used to chase the "little Ms Hotties" and end up burned over and over. My fiance isn't some super-hot model type, but I'll admit when she's dolled up she could be. She's a down-to-Earth woman who wanted a man that loved, cherished, and respected her. She didn't some unrealistic adventure based on soap operas and fantasies, but the real deal.

 

I will be romantic with her, but she won't see me as "weak" for it. I will do loads of "nice guy" stuff for her, and she cherishes it. She doesn't find the "hard to get" guys attractive, and wants stability and love over fantasies one only sees in movies.

 

She's an adult-minded woman. You need to find those, but bear in mind they don't come "packaged" as the "little Ms Hotties". Stop pining for women who won't make you happy in life and instead cherish the ones who will love you for you, not some fantasy.

 

Look at all the women who chase "bad men", and see how well life is going for them. Most of the ones I've seen are single moms now with loads of drama and hardship in their lives. They brought it on themselves, and still lament on how they can't seem to find a Mr Hottness who will commit.

 

 

I know my big problem at the moment is that I am the nice guy.

 

No...your problem is you're pining for women you honestly shouldn't be chasing.

 

 

And I get this comment a lot... "you're a nice guy but you're just not for me."

 

I'm honestly thankful those women in my past who said that had rejected me. They didn't respect themselves nor the men they get with. They're children.

 

 

I know I need to be more of a jerk. I need to be able to "be mean to keep 'em keen", but it just goes completely against my personality and I feel so bad afterwards if I say or do something towards someone that might be considered rude or mean.

 

Stick with your personality and be yourself. "Be mean to keep em keen" is PLAYING GAMES. Again, look at where those women are. Are they in happy marriages?

 

They bring their misery on themselves, stop thinking they are worth pursuing.

 

 

Really! And I'm also afraid that if I try to be the bad boy, that not only will I be pretending to be someone I'm not

 

Don't do it. When I did my "backing off it all" like I speak of many times, one of the things I felt was that I didn't want to become what I hated in order to get women. I read a few books like Unhooked Generation, talked to people on sites like this, and realized it was my fault.

 

I kept seeking out some "it" girl when I should have been looking for the "girl next door". I chased Veronicas when I should have found Betty. I wanted Ginger when Maryann was the right woman for me.

 

When I changed that part of my mentality, things became clearer. Even now I see women of my past I used to chase...still single because of their impossible standards and immature behavior. I now wonder "what was I thinking?"

 

If you have to become what you hate to get women, then it's just not worth it.

 

 

So what can a guy like me do to become more of a bad boy, but yet remain comfortable and true to himself?

 

It's not about being "bad", but being COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN. When I met the woman who is now my fiance, I was different. Here's how:

 

1. I was not in rush mode or desperation mode to "make it happen". I treated things like "if it happens, cool...if not, no biggie". I stopped caring if this woman ended up in a RL with me and just had fun with the time we had. Too many "nice guy" (including me in my past) get all insecure and push/work/fight to try to make it happen.

 

2. I learned to love myself. Not in a narcissistic way, but to stop thinking I was some loser or failure. When I started seeing these "little Miss Hotties" the way I do now, things got clearer. I realized I'm not some dork who can't get a girl, but I was an idiot for chasing the wrong women.

 

I dressed better, did things, enjoyed life, stopped worrying about my "status", and learned to really love the person I am.

 

Right now, you have a confidence problem, and you think something's wrong if you can't get the "super hot" women. Remember that looks fade, and these women who tanned too much and partied too much are starting to look haggard. Find someone who will love you for you, in the LONG HAUL...rest of your life. Stop thinking fantasy and live in reality.

 

Look at those "super hot" women who chase "bad men" and see them for who they really are, not what you think they could be for you.

[udolipixie]

If I was able to attract women for casual sex, I would be able to relate to this, but since I'm not, it is indeed different. It sounds like women are more attracted to guys they pick to have ONSs with than the guys they want to spend the rest of their lives with. It doesn't make sense that they don't think that the lifelong-relationship guy is capable of being as "fun" as the ONS guy.

 

Actually it does just like guys make have slut, gf, and wife material some girls have fun, bf, and husband material.

 

It's not about the relationship guybnot being fun but that right now the girl doesn'twant a serious relationship but just wants fun.

 

Just like some guys may travel through girls having fun enjoying their youth because he doesn't want committment or anything serious before settling down with a good girl there are girls who have fun with bad boys before settling down with a good guy.

[Red Arremer]

It seems like a lot of the advice in this thread is geared toward striving toward a long term, loving relationship with marriage and children and white picket fences and all that. But what if you're really just looking to have some of this "fun" that you missed out on when you were younger? It would seem like being one of those douchebags the "girls" are all with would be a positive in that situation, not a negative.

[TigerCub]

It's good if you can keep a sense of what you want. I spiraled to the dark side early on and things became about identifying any hint of an inkling of potential interest from more or less any woman I came in contact with. At this stage in my life, this whole thing is just a mid-life philosophical conundrum that I'm trying to solve -- but I hope the OP is able to make some adjustments in his life without losing too much of his true self.

 

I think its about being honest with yourself about what you want and what you can offer.

I find that I attracted the type that was more in line with those things for me.

 

I do get the confusion that some guys have. But it is the same for girls sometimes.

 

It just unfortunate when nice guys (who may not get the girls they want) start thinking that being nice = being a doormat.

That's simply not true.

 

Some nice guys are awesome and have so much to offer but the girls they may be seeking are in a different stage than they are at that specific time.

[udolipixie]

No offense, but the women who have fun with bad boys, players, or casanovas in their youth and then expect to marry (more like use) a good man,(or simply, a guy who isn't part of those groups) do not deserve such a man in their lives.

So is a guy who has years of fun with girls he finds attractive with no committment then expects to marry a good girl also not deserve such a woman in his life?

 

This nonsense of '' I gave up my virginity, my youth, the best years of my fertility and beauty, I'm now infected with lifelong stds, I have had dozens - if not hundreds - of sexual partners, but all of that should be of no importance to the guy I want to settle down with, and he should be happy for paying to have access/limited access to what some bad boy had - without having to pay for it.''

Hmm..seems like this is just a case of bitter grapes.

 

Love the youth angle it's what keeps me from having much sympathy for males.

 

 

How ironic it is that now I'm getting all the poon(high quality women) that I could possibly want whereas some poor guy is getting the 'I was the town's bike, but it's fine, I had no feelings for the men who are responsible for the lifelong stds that you now have; you're special.''

Love the town bike reference...you do realize with all that poon you get that any girl that may be your gf will be ruding the town bike?

 

Funny thing about porn. Since so many guys are being turned down over the bad boys/casanovas, my generation has found a savior in porn.

Love porn too any time a guy complains about not having a girl my advice 'You're a guy you have nothing to whine about get a porno'

 

While those who turned out bad boys, are banging hot 20 year olds.

Love that youth angle because any time a guy complains about his youth of not getting any girls or rejection I just think 'You're a guy you have nothing to whine about when you're old you'll get young hotties'.

 

Can't wait to reach my 30's just to see the women who played that millenia-old trick on my friends, thinking that by having a PhD they're entitled to a good man.

Yep I laugh when women think men even good men care more about their character or achievements than their youth and beauty. Most women have too much faith in men.

[grkBoy]

It seems like a lot of the advice in this thread is geared toward striving toward a long term, loving relationship with marriage and children and white picket fences and all that. But what if you're really just looking to have some of this "fun" that you missed out on when you were younger? It would seem like being one of those douchebags the "girls" are all with would be a positive in that situation, not a negative.

 

I agree. In all honesty if one just wants to be single, loose, and bang some random tail, then go out and seek the loose women...just be careful because even they will want the solid RL and will cause drama when they find out you just wanted a hookup.

 

Based on the OP's words and my own desires I always had in my life, I figured he was looking for long-term...hence why the "bad boy chasers" are never good for the long-term.

 

In the end though, the douchebags I've known ended up in more drama than good times. They didn't reach a certain age and decide "Ok, now I'll settle down", but became very cynical and misogynistic. Due to the years of banging these hot, but low-class women, they ended up seeing all women as garbage and thus preach the "never get married" or "all women are wh***s" rhetoric.

 

Plus when they are seeking a LTR, they have a lot of trouble because they can't get past the GIGS thinking and can't get themselves to settle on one woman. That and the "smart pretty women" they really want won't take them seriously.

[dasein]

Why don't you make an effort to get what you want? Michael Jordan wasn't born the best player in the world. It took him many years, a lot of blood and tears shed, and a lot of sacrifices to become #1.

 

Brad Pitt himself had problems in getting women, so I know that it can be troubling at first.

 

Your situation is more than solvable.

 

1) Start working out.

2)Find yourself some good-looking guy friends and go out with them.

3)Dress better.

4)Have your teeth fixed/whitened.

5)Make yourself approachable by putting in front of people confident body language.

)6 Profit.

 

You must also flirt and ask most of the women out. Most of the women will reject you, but with exp. you'll end up on the receiving end of a lot of 'yes'.

 

Now, the first thing you guys must do is to stop whining how unfair life is, and how x guy has a lot of gfs.

 

That is such a turn-off for women. They want to be banged by real men, not by big kids.

 

Excellent advice. Attracting women in a time when they reserve the right to have sex with one type of man, then expect a different type of man to provide their nest has become a skill like any other, that requires practice. The best place to be is qualifying as one of the former "hot" types of men, while having a subtle undertone of "could be nest material if tamed." Keep your own desires in the forefront, market yourself like any other product, establish your hunting grounds and become very familiar with the environments there, have a plan as opposed to stumbling out your door to a different place nightly. Don't mix alcohol with your pursuit of women. Getting women today often boils down to being the last sober man standing. Don't even go out until 11PM-12AM. Most women out and about make their sexual decisions impulsively among what acceptable man is "around" when they get horny. If you are hanging around kissing their ass during the preliminaries, you are wasting time and disqualifying yourself without even realizing it.

 

It's alot like going to the gym, frequency and repetition. You can't get fit going to the gym once a week and doing random things, you must make a plan that involves all aspects of fitness, same with attracting and seducing women. It appears that the not nice guys are winning, when other than the outlier drug dealers, pimps, and minor criminals, they are really nice enough guys WITH A PLAN who WORK THE PLAN over and over. The plan and their willingness to work it towards specific goals is the only real difference between them and you. This fits with natural attraction anyway, women like men who appear in control, know what they want, and comfortable enough in their experience to not "care too much." You may need to fake this til you make it a bit at first by giving the illusion of options. Dishonest, deceitful? not at all. They literally paint their faces, etc., and have no grounds for any complaint in the matter. If they responded to honest sincerity, we wouldn't have to work hard at learning all the things that really work, so they are to blame for their penchant for being deceived and seduced, not you.

[Elysian Powder]

Yeah, but you were attracting women that didn't have anything worthwhile to offer.

 

They were in long-term relationships with their boyfriends. Sex might be scarce for a man, but I'm not seeing a guy staying with a woman for any amount of time if all she has to offer is sex. Many of them are married but when the ovulation kicks in, the bathrooms of the nightclubs are suddenly unisex .

 

I've said before that I've been in the position of the 'relationship material guy' and in the complete opposite.

 

The women who saw provider qualities in me refrained from being sexual ''too soon'. The same didn't happen to the women who were just horny or attracted to the bad boy complexity.

 

As an exp. I tried 2 different scenarios.

 

Same woman.

 

Was relationship-minded, only had a couple of boyfriends in her 25 years of life.

 

At first I introduced her to my 'good guy, boyfriend aspect of my personality.'

 

She wanted to take things slowly, know each other first, find out if we are compatible.

 

I agreed and proceeded into reverting to my bad boy persona.

 

Didn't took long for her morals to go out the window.

 

Not all women are into bad boys, but there are certainly more than enough of those for most guys to have a pleasant sexual life.

 

Besides the sex and the partying, there was nothing good to build on

 

What's to build? Most relationships fail. Most relationships don't reach the 2nd year mark, hence the reason for a relationship that has 2 years of life to be considered long-term.

 

Most marriages are in the same predicament. Such an investment of everything and all for nothing.

 

Living with a woman is also a bad idea as in many, many Countries, a woman is entitled to all of a man's resources after some time.

 

You can't even donate sperm(to a sperm bank) because the woman who uses your sperm can and WILL be given you money in the form of child-support.

 

Heck, you can even go to jail if you miss one payment of alimony to the woman you married/lived with.

 

A good relationship with a good woman is incredibly risky and expensive.

 

Truth be added, from what my friends, those who are in relationships, sleeping with the same woman - always - gets old.

 

I don't believe that men or women are naturally monogamous. A relationship, to me, after I was given the understanding of how much of an animal humans actually are, is a cage - an offense to my nature.

 

- then decide, do you want the mindless good time, or the great relationship that will also include the sex, the fun, but so much more.

 

I'm no einstein, but I'm smart enough to have the cynicism to see the world as it really is. Wanting more usually leads to losing it all, so I'll take the ''mindless'' sex with the 'dumb'' hot women.

 

Who knows maybe I'll find myself in my 30's incapable of attracting the hot 20's, but I'll have a warehouse of memories. Porn will always be there aswell.

 

With my finances 100% in a positive state, no alimony or child-support, my house paid for, and more than enough time for my hobbies..

 

I should be a pretty happy camper.

 

Let the other guys have that meaningful relationship.

 

They earned it .

Edited August 30, 2011 by Elysian Powder

[Feelsgoodman]

But most smart women with something real to offer don't settle down with the "bad boys", we have our fun with them, but we end up with the NICE guys, the smart, funny, accomplished, sweet men - not the "bad boys".

Talk about a de-motivational message to the "nice guys". Yes, Mr. sweet, funny, accomplished, smart man - you can have a washed up, well past her prime broad who spent her younger years chasing bad boys and "having fun" with dozens if not hundreds of them...but has now realized that her biological clock is ticking and is looking to settle with an unfun but stable schmuck like you! Don't you feel special?

[Red Arremer]

I agree. In all honesty if one just wants to be single, loose, and bang some random tail, then go out and seek the loose women...just be careful because even they will want the solid RL and will cause drama when they find out you just wanted a hookup.

 

Based on the OP's words and my own desires I always had in my life, I figured he was looking for long-term...hence why the "bad boy chasers" are never good for the long-term.

 

In the end though, the douchebags I've known ended up in more drama than good times. They didn't reach a certain age and decide "Ok, now I'll settle down", but became very cynical and misogynistic. Due to the years of banging these hot, but low-class women, they ended up seeing all women as garbage and thus preach the "never get married" or "all women are wh***s" rhetoric.

 

Plus when they are seeking a LTR, they have a lot of trouble because they can't get past the GIGS thinking and can't get themselves to settle on one woman. That and the "smart pretty women" they really want won't take them seriously.

Yeah that seems like one of the definite downsides of that approach, the type of person you'd attract by being a total womanizing douche would be pretty much what you've described. If you're a guy and not looking for anything serious most of the time you don't have many other options though. There are a few women out there that aren't looking for anything serious and have their heads on straight and are up front about what they want and own it, but those women are so far, far, far outnumbered by the men that don't want anything serious that they pretty much have their pick of the litter and if you're not in the absolute top echelon of men you may as well forget it.

[Elysian Powder]

Talk about a de-motivational message to the "nice guys". Yes, Mr. sweet, funny, accomplished, smart man - you can have a washed up, well past her prime broad who spent her younger years chasing bad boys and "having fun" with dozens if not hundreds of them...but has now realized that her biological clock is ticking and is looking to settle with an unfun but stable schmuck like you! Don't you feel special?

 

Well, it's a mating strategy that has been working out for thousands of years. This is why we worship The Virgin Mary. Virginity in a woman is such a rare phenomenon in any woman(I mean honest virginity) nowadays, most of us will have to pay for what other(bad boy/rich kid/Brad Pitt looks) had without any effort.

 

Think of it this way. No woman wants to date a bum, a guy with no motivation.

 

Real men don't want to date a bus stop.

 

My advice for young men is to become the Alpha male, the bad boy and live life as fitting your biological imperative.

 

The novelty of a relationship in itself is pleasant, but the bill is too high.

[TigerCub]

Talk about a de-motivational message to the "nice guys". Yes, Mr. sweet, funny, accomplished, smart man - you can have a washed up, well past her prime broad who spent her younger years chasing bad boys and "having fun" with dozens if not hundreds of them...but has now realized that her biological clock is ticking and is looking to settle with an unfun but stable schmuck like you! Don't you feel special?

 

haha, I already explained all that at length - you can go and read it all

[TigerCub]

I love how some guys here talk like guys don't do the same thing - fool around with the hotties or sluttier girls and then marry the good, wife material girl.

 

Guys do that s**t too.

[fortyninethousand322]

I love how some guys here talk like guys don't do the same thing - fool around with the hotties or sluttier girls and then marry the good, wife material girl.

 

Guys do that s**t too.

 

Of course they do. But I don't, and the sexual practices of men don't bother me as much since I don't date men. I'd love to find a nice girl now, I'm not interested in fooling around with sluts. Perhaps this is my downfall? If I were to just try to fool around for a bit I wouldn't be so upset about women doing the same?