wantherback Posted May 5, 2004 Share Posted May 5, 2004 Well i moved in with my girlfriend and everything was fine. We had been going out for over a year and a half, but out of nowhere, she broke up with me and its killing me. I love her to death and would do anything to be with her. She means the whole world to me and loving without her just makes me not want to do it anymore. I dont know why she broke up with me, and everytime we talk, i try to bring it up but all she says is that she doesnt want to talk about, all it does is ruin her day. I dont know what to do anymore, i tried the no contact rule but i end up breaking it all the time, and not hearing her voice makes it even harder. Please, any advice is strongly welcomed, im willing to do anything just to be with her. Link to post Share on other sites
confusedgrl Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 The best way to get her back is by not begging her. I don't know if she will come back, but if you beg her she most defenitley won't. The best thing to do is to establish a no-contact rule, and try and get over her. I know you love her, but it will take time. Trust me, I'm learning the hard way. You deserve someone who will love you back. Goodluck. I hope everything works out. Link to post Share on other sites
wantherback Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 I know about the no contact rule, and ive tried it but allways broke it. I even talked to her today and asked her what she though about us getting back together and she said that she just wants to be single and do what she wants. I told her that she can call me up and tell me when she knows for sure that there is no more hope for us to go back out, and her answear was "your free to date whoever you want, i just want to be your friend". That just killed me, but what else can i do? i love her so much that sometimes i just cant keep my mouth shut, and im affraid that if i stop talking to her, we will never go back out. I dont even know what to do anymore, im so confused Link to post Share on other sites
Jareddms Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 Best thing to do is stay away I know the feeling my fiance told me the exact thing. I love her to death and when she tells me about other guys taking her out it hurts like hell, but what can you do you dont want to look weak in front of her it will just reinforce the reason why she broke up with you. Now I am moving out my stuff and I am joining a gym , studying, reading up books and taking up a new hobby, I havent started it all as yet but the only way to win her back is for her to regret leaving you, not taking you back out of sympathy. Go ahead and take care of yourself and when she see how good and successful you are, she may come back if not at least you are better off. Trust me on this, I am tempted every second of the day to call my ex and see what she is up to or even drive over to her place because I missed her beauty her laughter her goodness, but remember she LEFT you, dont feel sorry for yourself , its not like you cheated on her and she is at home crying NO, she is out having fun and you are the ony crying, take care of yourself, because I have let myself go not eating or sleeping and thinking of her, do you think a girl would want a guy like this no, just start taking care of yourself first and if you need help let me know. I am battling this war and I hope I can win because it a make or break situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Jareddms Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 I forgot to mentioned that I did beg her to stay with me when she broke up with me, I was crying and have cried in solitude many times in the last 3 weeks this has happened its very very hard and I have been hard on myself for thinking 'what if' but remember she left you , you didnt give up you wanted it to work. Only way to get over someone is to be confident in yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 i kinda have the same thing going on....i had a no contact rule, but i broke it so many times...now i just dont answer the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
wantherback Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 I know what your talking about trying to ignore her and pretend like everything is fine, as if life without her is better and i dont need her. All i know now is that she wants to be my friend she said, and im not sure if its the right thing for me to say that i want her as more than a friend. I guess im confused about what i should do, be her friend or tell her that we shouldnt be talking any more. let me know if any opinions rise up. and thank you all for trying to help me out, i appreciate it a lot Link to post Share on other sites
mach3 Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 In the same boat here. Glad to see guys get the short end of the stick too. Girls hate the begging/pleading - and believe me, it just makes things worse. But at the same time, when you don't answer, they get pissed. I think the best thing to do is focus on yourself, remember who you are and maybe she'll realize why she loved you in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 i want my ex to beg me to come back... Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 dont put yourself down for anyone!!! TRUST ME IT AINT WORTH IT!!! if she doesnt want to be with you dont cry about it just say **** IT!!! forget her, she aint worth u feeling like **** forever, ok cry for it for a while, but dont ever beg her again, u need to be strong and realize that no person is worth feeling this way!!!! u have a life to live and the people who survive in this world have to be strong and think of it this way "When one door closes MANY other doors open" dont think negative, dont even care what shes doing, one day she will see her mistake, and if she DONT then shes more pathetic and more not worth ure tears!! BE STRONG , i know u can be, and u will hit that point soon as u see how much shes being so whatever after all u shared..s.CREW that..those type of people dont deserve our love, respect, or care!!! Link to post Share on other sites
aurora19 Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 hey guys, i relate to all of you. the funny thing is i was the one that kept pushing him away, never thinking he really would ever go anywhere. now he is with some new girl, just up and ditched me days after meeting her! ouch! now i cry, i mope, i stare at the phone still i go cross eyed. my strength has failed a couple of times (showed up unannounced while she was there and called him drunk...not a good idea!). it's been almost two weeks and i have not contacted him and it's been harder than ever. my only advice is BE STRONG, even though it's been tough i have begun to tolerate the pain better and better every day. i still sigh heavily, cry and hope for the ridiculous (that he will come pounding on my door begging for me back), but every time I have that urge to call or stop by i think about something i disliked about him or the relationship and focus on that. usually it makes me feel better, even makes me laugh at how dramatic i make everything. reinventing yourself is an awesome idea, it can be completely freeing. you have a new fresh start in life and the possibilities are exciting. do the things you always wanted to, but were leery of b/c it would affect the relationship. you have the right to be selfish right now, live it up! let your true soul shine and one day someone will see what your about and love the **** out of you! we all deserve better than to sit, cry and hope for someone who no longer sees you as the one they love. **** that, don't let there ego win! Good luck to all of you, it's nice to see there are sensitive, good men out there. gives me more hope! Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 well...i think by my calling him all the time and being over his place that whole week after we broke up kind of pushed him away...and he said the more i bug him and that im around it makes him want me less and less...weirdo. Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 im in the same boat as all you lot..we have been apart for two months now..when my ex broke up with me it was like the end of the world....i didnt take it well at all...i was crying down the phone when she broke up with me and i think a couple more times...i must of looked really pathetic...i was begging as well...and then bargaining...i think we have all done this! it was ok at the start as she was still texting me and phoning me asking how i was and if i was ok...but that became less and less as i was still trying to get her back...it turned into only me phoning and most of the time me texting...we have spoken a couple of times in the last month but it was like we were trying to hurt and compete with one another.....how many times we go down the gym and all the nights out we go on. i think she still cares...she text me last sunday asking how i was and stuff....she found out that i went to the coast to stay with this girl i know and i think she got a bit jealous..she said that she didn t care in one of her messages but if she didnt care why would she text me asking about it?...i wish i hadnt of replied as it turned into an arguement...i now know that if i had just broken contact all together i might have her back in my life. i think the chance's of me ever talking or recieving a text message from her again are very slim now...i think theres no chance we will ever be together again...i think i still love her...i think about her all the time. i really wish i could just bump into her in the street...im looking better than ever at the moment....ive been working out everyday and the difference in two months is amazing..i want her to see what shes walked away from. i sent her mum and her fiance a card as they are getting married this month so i might hear from my ex when her mum recieves it. Link to post Share on other sites
new bian Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 I totally understand. I'm in a similar situation, except the person dumped me and left me with a baby. you need to get over her. Don't phone her Don't text or email Try and occupy your time doing other things that distracts your thoughts from her. There's an old saying: If you love someone, let them go If they come back to you, they'll be yours forever If they don't it wasn't meant to be. Life is too short to be pining after the wrong person. I strongly believe that sometimes to open new doors, you have to shut a few. b strong, you will get through it and in the mean time go out and have fun spotting the thousands of talent out there Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 There's an old saying: If you love someone, let them go If they come back to you, they'll be yours forever If they don't it wasn't meant to be. i believe in that and thats what im doing...im finding stuff to occupy myself...i think im gonna go on a diet or something lol maybe work out everyday Link to post Share on other sites
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