2blind2see Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 My ex and I broke up just over a month ago, he ended things to go back and figure out things with his ex that he still had feelings for...went no contact for 3 weeks then started hanging out again, things did not work with his ex. We didn't get `back together`but spent time together and slept together. He told me that one weekend while we were apart he fooled around with another girl...I was hurt but couldn't say much we weren't together. This past weekend while he was at a wedding I hung out with a friend of his and some other people...got really drunk and let his friend kiss me...it went no further because I told his friend I still had feelings for my ex. I felt bad for what happened and decided to tell my ex. He acted very hurt and upset. So this is where I need the help...I don't understand why he's so upset when he did exactley the same thing ..I apologized and he said it was "fine" and that I "didn't hurt him" he said it was "my mistake" I asked what he wanted if he wanted us to be friends or work on what we were and he said he didn't know that "when he knew he would let me know" he also text and said that "who I hooked up with was my buisness not his" and that if I wanted to " trust this friend of his I would find out soon enough" even though I explained it was nothing more than a kiss and that I didn't trust him I am sorry this is so long but if someone could help me decipher what he is really saying and why he is acting like this after he did the exact same thing I would really appreciate it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 I think this guy is not really into you, and that you are his "fall back " girl. He wants to keep you on the string for sex and company, but he doesn't want to commit to you because he knows you aren't "the one". He wanted to be with his ex, and when that didn't work out, he called you for hook-ups. He also hooked up with someone else during this time. If he really liked you and wanted to be with you, he wouldn't want to mess that up. He wouldn't have wanted to explore a relationship with his ex- he would be nurturing his relationship with you. Why is he getting mad about you kissing his friend? Because many men have double standards. They know intellectually that all things should be equal, but they have these primal feelings that take over sometimes. Even if he is with other girls, thinking about another man with his hands/ mouth on you upsets him and he will see you as tainted. Not because he loves or cares about you- but because he feels some sort of ownership over you. Like if some other guy was driving his car. He wants you to remain exactly the way he left you. He thinks of you like one of his possessions. Even if he isn't playing with it at the time, he doesn't want anyone else to have it. He wants you to be available when he needs you there to meet HIS needs (notice that he is not thinking about what you need). Don't be his entertainment while he waits for something else to come along. You are better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2blind2see Posted August 30, 2011 Author Share Posted August 30, 2011 Thankyou Quiet Storm! Most of my friends have said the same thing about him, I guess I just wanted to believe he wasn't like that and I guess it really does take an impartial opinion to get it through my head...instead of trying to fix this I guess I just need to let him go and move on Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 Yes, there are other guys out there who will make you their top priorty. Your heart & mind aren't open to other men because you are letting this guy live rent-free in your head and your heart. Spending your time and energy on him just ties up the feelings you could be having for someone else. Someone more worthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2blind2see Posted August 30, 2011 Author Share Posted August 30, 2011 Wow now he's texting me calling me a traitor!!! What is his damn deal? As if what he did was any better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2blind2see Posted August 31, 2011 Author Share Posted August 31, 2011 Divorcementor was there a particular article I was supposed to read on this site? Link to post Share on other sites
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