xxoo Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Daisy, I sure hope he decides to treat you well on his own, because you've shown him that he can disregard your feelings and you'll forgive him pretty much immediately. Why would you need to travel to LA with him next time if you trust him and he promises he won't do it again? . He says the fastest way to ruin a marriage is to have kids. This made me snort....marriage wisdom from a man who is having an affair and cheating with his own wife
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 So, was the idea that the sexual experience with him would be so god-awful that the wife would run to sign the divorce settlement agreement, just to make sure she'd never have to endure it again? Honestly, "Daisy." Of course there are exceptions, but I have NEVER heard of a woman - much less a WIFE, who would be "appeased" enough by sexual intercourse to break up with a man she wants to keep. I would venture to bet that in more than 90% of such situations, the wife who does not want to divorce will feel ENCOURAGED that her marriage might be salvageable by the fact that her husband made love to her. NOT, as you seem to think, more cooperative about letting go of it. Unless, of course, the sexual experience was so abysmal that the wife suddenly realized that she could be rid of his pathetic moves forever if she signs ... Daisy. Either you made up this story, or he did.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 He says the fastest way to ruin a marriage is to have kids. Bwahhahahaha! Even faster than screwing around on your wife?! Daisy, you've gotta be a prankster. That was a priceless gem!
Author daisy love Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Not even a good troll. Comes to mock the betrayed and ends up sounding like a fool.Thats mean.
Author daisy love Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 So she DID sign the papers? They agreed on something very big that they fought over before. The rest is small stuff. We're getting closer!
bentnotbroken Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. He's happy because once again, he's having his needs met by TWO women. Did it ever occur to you that just possibly having sex with her would ENCOURAGE her to believe there's hope? Just curious how you'll feel if he decides sex with her will be necessary from now until the D is final, "just to make sure she does it willingly"? Just keep keeping cool about it. Because if you start making a stink about it, he'll just take it underground. OP is consistent if nothing else.
Author daisy love Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 At DDay, my fWS kept trying to find reasons to come home and pick up items when I was around. He was living with her at the time (I had no idea.) I had thrown him out to be with his soulmate for life, but he had me convinced he was living in an hotel. Well, one thing led to another one afternoon and I thought, "the hell with it! He is still my husband.... why not?" Was that break up sex? Make up sex? I think it was, "Jeez....I am really confused and maybe I still love Spark" sex. He showered before he left, which I found odd. Did he just cheat on his OW? Yeah, maybe he did. Never thought of it that way before. I think the men are giving great advice here Daisy. I think a man does not have sex with a woman he no longer cares for or is attracted to or is serious about divorcing. Be careful here.That must have been really humiliating for you. Your H sounds like a jerk.
Author daisy love Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 If you had it all figured out, why did you bother making a thread about it? Anyway daisy dear, you all have fun!I wanted to know if any other OWs had been thru this to but I see every sitch is unique.
Author daisy love Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Well, I said contact, not confront. And, it depends on what you want out of all of this. Does it matter to you whether or not he's told you the truth, or told her the truth? Or do you simply want her cooperation...regardless of whether or not MM is being honest to either of you? If he's being honest...then contacting her and verifying what's been said/done shouldn't create any hardship or end the cooperation, right?I don't need to. I have comitted myself to doing it his way. He knows that he'll lose me if it doesn't happen by Christmas. He doesn't want that to happen to us.
bentnotbroken Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 That must have been really humiliating for you. Your H sounds like a jerk. You hear that Spark your husband SOUNDS like a jerk. Does he have brothers;)
Author daisy love Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. He's happy because once again, he's having his needs met by TWO women. Did it ever occur to you that just possibly having sex with her would ENCOURAGE her to believe there's hope? Just curious how you'll feel if he decides sex with her will be necessary from now until the D is final, "just to make sure she does it willingly"? Just keep keeping cool about it. Because if you start making a stink about it, he'll just take it underground. He said he feels guilty about it. I don't think it will happen again. It could really be good because I am thinking about things and about our love and our relationship. I am very determined for us to come even more closer. He said he respects me allot for the way I've handled this even though I wasn't happy about it. He tells me I'll be a good wife.
Author daisy love Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 You hear that Spark your husband SOUNDS like a jerk. Does he have brothers;) are you looking for one?
Author daisy love Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 I am leaving to make a scrumptious dinner for my love with allot of his faves. I am going to put on some music, chill some wine and put on his favorite dress with thigh high stockings and stilletoes that he loves. You guys keep talking about how we're never gonna work out and I'll catch u l8r.
Author daisy love Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 I am leaving to make a scrumptious dinner for my love with allot of his faves. I am going to put on some music, chill some wine and put on his favorite dress with thigh high stockings and stilletoes that he loves. You guys keep talking about how we're never gonna work out and I'll catch u l8r.
xxoo Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 He said he respects me allot for the way I've handled this even though I wasn't happy about it. He tells me I'll be a good wife. Because a good wife doesn't make a fuss when her man sleeps with another woman? I have no doubt he'll stay with you, as long as you let him do as he pleases.
PhoenixRise Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 He said he feels guilty about it. I don't think it will happen again. It could really be good because I am thinking about things and about our love and our relationship. I am very determined for us to come even more closer. He said he respects me allot for the way I've handled this even though I wasn't happy about it. He tells me I'll be a good wife. The bolded just might be the scariest thing he ever said to you Daisy. Have you ever asked yourself what being a "good wife" means to him?
bentnotbroken Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 are you looking for one? Sure:lmao: then you, spark and I could have triplets. Oh wait, been there, done that.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Don't be surprised if it happens again (or if you find him with another woman later on).
Author daisy love Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Don't be surprised if it happens again (or if you find him with another woman later on). Why do you have some experience with this?
goodthingscome Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 So, was the idea that the sexual experience with him would be so god-awful that the wife would run to sign the divorce settlement agreement, just to make sure she'd never have to endure it again? Honestly, "Daisy." Of course there are exceptions, but I have NEVER heard of a woman - much less a WIFE, who would be "appeased" enough by sexual intercourse to break up with a man she wants to keep. I would venture to bet that in more than 90% of such situations, the wife who does not want to divorce will feel ENCOURAGED that her marriage might be salvageable by the fact that her husband made love to her. NOT, as you seem to think, more cooperative about letting go of it. Unless, of course, the sexual experience was so abysmal that the wife suddenly realized that she could be rid of his pathetic moves forever if she signs ... Daisy. Either you made up this story, or he did. Ditto! He must truly SUCK in bed if that's what he had to do to get rid of her!!!
Gotti25 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 I am leaving to make a scrumptious dinner for my love with allot of his faves. I am going to put on some music, chill some wine and put on his favorite dress with thigh high stockings and stilletoes that he loves. You guys keep talking about how we're never gonna work out and I'll catch u l8r. you are extremely ignorent he is using you both. He will never leave her. If he was serious about you he would have never had sex with her his mind woud be thinking of you this man is nothin but a cake eater LOLS his screwed you both! If you marry this guy he will cheat all over again you will be his second ex wife that he will be having breakup sex
MissBee Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 So, was the idea that the sexual experience with him would be so god-awful that the wife would run to sign the divorce settlement agreement, just to make sure she'd never have to endure it again? Honestly, "Daisy." Of course there are exceptions, but I have NEVER heard of a woman - much less a WIFE, who would be "appeased" enough by sexual intercourse to break up with a man she wants to keep. I would venture to bet that in more than 90% of such situations, the wife who does not want to divorce will feel ENCOURAGED that her marriage might be salvageable by the fact that her husband made love to her. NOT, as you seem to think, more cooperative about letting go of it. Unless, of course, the sexual experience was so abysmal that the wife suddenly realized that she could be rid of his pathetic moves forever if she signs ... Daisy. Either you made up this story, or he did . Yepp when stated in plain terms, it seems very ridiculous that a man having sex with his BS would encourage her to cooperate and hurry and divorce him lmaoooo As someone else said, unless the sex is so god-awful that she did indeed decide to cooperate so as never to have to endure it again....but otherwise the entire matter is absurd! But a strong part of me believes daisy is making this up....I hope so. But if not, I'll say again: Daisy, Loverman and the Wife seem to be a part of a 3 ring circus and I wish them all luck!
MissBee Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 He said he feels guilty about it. I don't think it will happen again. It could really be good because I am thinking about things and about our love and our relationship. I am very determined for us to come even more closer. He said he respects me allot for the way I've handled this even though I wasn't happy about it. He tells me I'll be a good wife. Awww.....daisy, baby...honestly. I can't even
dreamingoftigers Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 He said he feels guilty about it. I don't think it will happen again. It could really be good because I am thinking about things and about our love and our relationship. I am very determined for us to come even more closer. He said he respects me allot for the way I've handled this even though I wasn't happy about it. He tells me I'll be a good wife. From the outside looking in: he likes how you have handled it, his respect is not present.
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