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HOPE - I was in your position for YEARS!


Nuprin

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I was in a relationship with a man I thought I would marry. We were in love; we talked about marriage; and we discussed how we would raise our children. We lived together, and he even bought a house for us. I thought this was it: I was going to be one of those girls with a great wedding, and we would live happily ever after. Oh how I was wrong. For a few weeks he distanced himself suddenly, and when I confronted him about it, he said he didn't "love" me anymore. We broke up.

 

Even during the break up, I kept in contact wanting us to get back together. He fed me bs lines that he "loved" me and felt he made the biggest mistake of his life. And after a few months, he wanted to get back together. He confessed that during the meantime he hooked up with a chick but it meant nothing because we were no longer together. I bought his excuse and agreed that we should work things out. Over the next year and a half he made my life HELL. He would be unapproachable; he fed me lies after lies; he made me cry daily; he cheated on me (with the same girl for a year and god knows what other women) but didn't confess until last year (only about the chick he had the actual affair with); and he worked me up like a well tuned machine to verbally manipulate and emotionally destroy. I was the big cake being eyed by a starving bulimic to be engulfed and vomited in the toilet later on.

 

It came to the point that I was losing my hair, and it impacted my health negatively. No one knew why he affected me as much as it did because they felt I was out of his league, but he thought he could do better (he made a good amount of money and he had the fancy English accent). Yet I was better educated; I had the well connected friends; and frankly, I was well above him in the attractiveness level.

 

All in all, I went through 2 years (not counting the year and a half of happiness) of being in a emotional roller coaster of purgatory. I finally decided not to drink the kool aid anymore when my hair started to come back and I started to regain my self esteem. That was my reckoning. Like the end of a weepy Lifetime or Hallmark movie, I took my step into the light and never looked back. I thought "Hell! I'm a fine looking chick, and I should rock it!" I sure did. I dated endless amounts of men, because with a positive outlook that was not overshadowed by the overwhelming drudge of past relationship baggage, they do show up. Seriously, if you build it, they shall come! (Thank you Kevin Costner - I'm probably the only one who can thank him in the past decade.)

 

Now I'm in a new relationship with a great guy who's great, appreciates me and thinks I'm amazing. Yes, there is a uncorrupted Emerald City at the end of the Yellow Brick Road Dorothy. But it can only be reached if you discard that ugly, ragged, crap infested shoe and don on some shiny ruby slippers. You can find yours if you just let go.

 

Cheers to everyone, and I hope the best for you!

Edited by Nuprin
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Thank you so much for your post, I spent 3 years in a relationship just like this one. Thank God there is life after hell.

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