lunar_rabbit Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Until two or three weeks ago, I was casually hanging out with a guy at work who was interested in me, but because I had started to see that he had a few personal issues that I didn't want to get involved in (abandonment issues, having a history of being a bit of a player which was showing itself in his flirting with every single other female at the company and then denying it when I asked him about it, promiscuity, being a bit economical with the truth...the list goes on), I started to distance myself from him. Since then, he's become very rude. Every time he sees me, he has to make some childish comment about how much I smell (lol), calling me a schizophrenic, throwing paper and things at me, and other strange little behaviours that are apparently supposed to make me feel alienated and excluded from other people at work (putting up a board of photos of our co-workers in the communal rest area that includes him and everyone else, but perhaps unsurprisingly, my photo is the only one missing). All this, and he's 38 years old :| It's not the first time something like this happened. I had one guy before who slammed doors in my face on a regular basis after I turned him down :/ Other guys have just ignored me and acted as though I no longer existed. What I'm asking is this - is this common behaviour? Has this happened to anyone here (girls or guys)...? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 Yeah but usually when they are 21. You expect men to grow up by the time they hit their mid-20s. I had some trouble with one guy I used to work with (this is why I never get involved with colleagues on any level) but even that took some alcohol, he wasn't childish and immature sober. Ignore the male ego at your own peril Link to post Share on other sites
Llakdknek Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 I'd say that something happened to him when he was about five and that happened to be his emotional maturation point. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 What I'm asking is this - is this common behaviour? Has this happened to anyone here (girls or guys)...? Most of the women I've encountered follow the "just ignored me and acted as though I no longer existed" rule. My theory is that women, most of them anyway, are used to having men circling so it's really no big deal to lose one, at least one they're not currently emotionally attached to, and select another one. Also, women tend to process romantic rejection differently, often internalizing it and venting to friends rather than to/at the person who rejected them, at least after the initial rejection encounter. Men are more confrontational and it seems to stick with them longer. IME, when women have rejected me, and I have a lot of datapoints, I just go away. No need to spend further time and energy on that particular person. I would internalize the feelings and move on. Now I don't feel as much so it's easier, perhaps a function of age and dealing with all those rejections. It's not that important anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Most of the women I've encountered follow the "just ignored me and acted as though I no longer existed" rule. My theory is that women, most of them anyway, are used to having men circling so it's really no big deal to lose one, at least one they're not currently emotionally attached to, and select another one. Also, women tend to process romantic rejection differently, often internalizing it and venting to friends rather than to/at the person who rejected them, at least after the initial rejection encounter. Men are more confrontational and it seems to stick with them longer. IME, when women have rejected me, and I have a lot of datapoints, I just go away. No need to spend further time and energy on that particular person. I would internalize the feelings and move on. Now I don't feel as much so it's easier, perhaps a function of age and dealing with all those rejections. It's not that important anymore. I have one that completely ignores me, it was an awkward situation, no sex, but just too much info to explain, but it seems like he enjoys the fact that he ignores me. lol. So I do everything possibly to be out of site out of mind, too. It is really really WEIRD and awkward even after attempts to make it less so!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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