Blackdahlia Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 Hi, I'm new to this board and I'm posting because me boyfriend has a porn addiction. I've been with him for almost four years now and he's the most amazing lover I've ever had but he constantly hurts my feelings . He's forever looking at Hustlers and playboys, he seems to have this obsession with bleached blondes that have big fake tits. I'm small chested and I have brown hair, if this is what turns him on it makes me wonder why he's with me. I've asked him on several occasions to stop this behaviour, I've told him that it hurts my self esteem to find him constantly looking at smut.... Makes me think he doesn't care about my feelings at all, should I call it quits? Link to post Share on other sites
WWDDFD Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 The question is not why he's with you, it's WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM? Jesus christ, all I ever see are women with people they hate, jerks who treat them like dirt. I treat everyone I know like Gods and no one wants anything to do with me. This world is ****ed up. Link to post Share on other sites
strungout Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 No doubt about the world being F**** up. One thing about the porn addiciton is that some guys think that it is cute to have one. If you nag him about it, he might find this as a way to gain your attention. Also he might like the idea of huge breast in his face, but once he got them and with the rest of the body that REALLY comes along with it he might change his mind. Don't give him the "lip service" of nagging. Just let it go. Now if he is buying more porn then him buying you things....well, do what you got. His addicition then is a real problem. He is not assuming his responsibiltes to you. Everyone has something they spend a ton of money or are obssesed with. It should be a hobbie, not a life style... Link to post Share on other sites
Starnette83 Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 ugh this is my exact problem with my BF , i ve been with him for 3 years and 5months and i always find porn on his comp, ive told him about it, even got mad about it so much but his excuse is "I rather watch porn then be with another girl" ugh....i told him thats not an excuse..but for him its a good excuse!! anyways i also dont know if its a good reason to call it quits..i love him alot but now when i have sex with him i sometimes cant even enjoy it cos i know about his porn and i ust feel so insecure..anyways this sux..also he looks alot at lesbo, sex, and big breasted woman, and im not big breasted..so maybe thats why..ugh!!! Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 Ladies.... Life is short. If you feel your boyfriend is addicted/preoccupied/obsessed with porn...and it's hurting you, offending you, making you feel insecure, etc...then for god's sake, dump the guy. You're not married with 5 kids and deeply committed. If your guy disgusts you because of this "habit", then ditch the guy and find someone who's more compatible. Seems like such a no-brainer. Link to post Share on other sites
Starnette83 Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 well actually it doesnt seem like a no brainer, cos even though we might wanna break up with our man for watching porn, it just seems dumb cos i feel that EVERY MAN watches porn, and no man would stop watching it only cos im having sex with him and loving him, now if im wrong please let me know!!! ugh...is there men out there who can live without porn and without cheating???? if so then maybe ure right and i can dump my bf and find someone who will respect the fact that porn bugs me and that im enough for his pleasure..alright thats all!! Link to post Share on other sites
End of my rope Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 Listen sweetie...I feel your pain. I had a similar issue with my fiance. Do a search on Porn on this site and you'll find a ton of very good advice. I mean real advice not just the "dump him he's a jerk" stuff. As for me, what I did was sit him down, tell him how I felt and that I refused to live my life that way and that I didn't mind him looking but the time and effort he spent CONSTANTLY looking at it bothered me. Then I shut the f**k up about it. I didn't nag about it, I didn't mention it and he gradually slowed down and now only views a couple times a week. Which, IMO, is a healthy amount. There you have my two cents, take from it what you will. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 YES. There are men who don't watch porn. If it is unacceptable to you - then move on. If it is the only thing that bothers you, put it in its rightful place in your priorities and learn to deal with it. If it interferes with your sex life (he choses to watch porn instead of be with you) then tell him to get some help for an addiction or to make a choice and if he refuses, or cannot choose. Leave! If you are already hurting while you are IN a relationship, why are you afraid to leave it? Link to post Share on other sites
End of my rope Posted May 6, 2004 Share Posted May 6, 2004 Originally posted by HokeyReligions If you are already hurting while you are IN a relationship, why are you afraid to leave it? On this note, isn't it better to hurt one big time then just a little every day? Link to post Share on other sites
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